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I need some help making the dialogue natural and correct. If you want to help, post your suggestion, or like a comment that you agree with.

Don't mind the preview animation GIFs in this post, lol. I used six frames for each dialogue, and some of the loops ended up looking a bit funny. You can see the rough animation attached to this post.

***Rewards here or in the pinned post. For any questions, you can DM me, use the chats, reply to a post, or via Discord. FAQ

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Steak

I think it would be cute/flirty if Loid said something along the lines of “I’ll have you as my appetiser first” on dialogue 5.

Sphereon

Here's my suggestion! Panel 2/7 - Loid: "Well this is a nice surprise! You're making dinner tonight?" Panel 3/7 - (Yor's dialogue here is great!) Panel 4/7 - Loid: "Something special, huh?" Panel 5/7 - Loid: "There's something special I have in mind..." Panels 6 and 7 work great as they are! Good job so far, and I'm excited to see the finished animation!

PostNutClarity

Panel 1: "Welcome back, love/my love" make it more homely and inviting Panel 2: "Busy cooking today, huh…" a little disappointed she can't greet him more physically (not necessarily sexual) Panel 3: perfect, maybe add an exclamation mark here and there for a more upbeat reply Panel 4-7: love it!

Pippa

I don't think Loid would be surprised to see Yor cooking. I feel like they would have communicated about that beforehand. Rather, she's surprising him with more than just dinner. Maybe she heard from a co-worker that husbands enjoyed when wives cooked in less clothing.

litsilium

From what I've heard, Yor isn't very good at cooking, so Loid is not very excited about this surprise. Here, Yor is not aware of the limitations of her cooking skills and thinks this would be a nice surprise