Interlude: By the pricking of my thumbs... (Patreon)

Jonathan couldn’t help but chuckle, though he kept it down so he wouldn’t disturb the people sleeping nearby. Or the pair who had oh-so-stealthily slipped out of their little camp, intent on some private, rather explicit entertainment, if he read the situation correctly. What amused him was that the pair thought themselves slick, believing they could sneak out of their camp and back in without anyone noticing, even though they had a strict guard rotation. 

After all, nobody really knew what was out there, or what fresh insanity the world would throw at them this time. And there always was some insanity, even if not every bit of insanity was negative. Like the strange tree one of their hunting groups had stumbled across a while back. For some reason, the tree, an apple tree by the shape of its leaves, had started to bear grapes instead of apples. And not just any grapes, but incredibly juicy, golden grapes. So juicy that somebody decided to try one immediately, only to go into a completely mindless rampage, attacking anything that got close to the tree or to her. After the rampage ended, the group that found the tree noticed the exhausted woman who had eaten a grape was in much better shape than before and investigated further, only to discover that the grape’s juice could heal injuries. Only small and moderate ones, but that was good enough to harvest some of the grapes, now nicknamed Grapes of Wrath, for later.

Or those winged snakes in the northern mountains. It would be bad enough if those things only had wings, letting them fly and strike from unexpected angles. But no, that wouldn’t be crazy enough, so those stupid things could also shoot lightning bolts, though only strong enough to stun an adult, letting them move in and use their poison. And not just any ordinary poison, no; their poison was of the paralysing variety, shutting down all voluntary muscle control within seconds. However that worked, nobody knew, and, in their heart of hearts, nobody really wanted to know, because the paralysis let the snakes feed. For them, feeding didn’t mean swallowing their prey whole, as serpents normally would. Instead, they had another poison that let them melt the flesh from their victim’s bones, turning it into a putrid mess they then sucked up like the most disgusting slushy. One encounter with those things was all that was needed to convince their community that the northern mountains should be avoided. And wonder just what sort of insane deity would come up with an abomination like that, because something that fucked-up couldn’t have come about naturally. 

Shaking his head, he gazed up at the sky, studying the moon and stars for a minute or two and using their positions to estimate the time. When he realised just how late it was, or maybe how early, he couldn’t help but frown, a little displeased with the amourous couple that had left earlier. It was one thing to sneak off for a bit of privacy, but to stay out in the night for almost an hour was dangerous. He would have to impress upon them just how dangerous the nights were, especially here. 

The quarry one of their hunting parties had detected here wasn’t the only thing that had changed since the world went to shit. Sure, they could mine salt here now, even if nobody really knew how that worked, as rock salt shouldn’t just appear somewhere, not without being deposited by an ocean depositing it over millennia or something like that. But then, the world had gone mad anyway, so what was one more piece of insanity, physics-defying or not?

He could almost feel his ears twitch when he heard a noise in the darkness beyond the camp, twigs breaking on the ground, leaves rustling, and it only deepened the frown on his face. Earlier, when the pair had snuck out, they had been quiet and stealthy. Not perfectly, but good enough to evade detection by some of their group. Now, they were coming in with the subtlety and grace of a wrecking ball, unless that wasn’t them. 

Growling softly to himself, he moved into position to intercept whatever was coming towards their camp. If it was Kevin and Harry, he’d give them a proper chewing out, right then and there, likely with a follow-up in the morning, in front of the entire group. If not…

He didn’t want to think about what to do if it wasn’t them, since the noise came from the direction they had gone. Unless the pair was a lot stealthier while fornicating than while sneaking, whatever was coming toward their camp would have found them first. And that wasn’t a good thing. 

For a moment, he considered sounding the alarm, just in case it wasn’t the amorous pair returning but danger. It probably would be for the best; if it was them, they would learn their lesson, and the group would make sure of it. Not because people had a problem with them or their particular pairing, but because stupid shit like this got people killed. And if it wasn’t them, having people awake would be for the best. 

“Incoming,” he shouted, his voice loud and urgent enough to rouse even the deepest sleeper, better than any alarm clock ever could. Immediately, the recent sleepers started to grumble, but even as they did, they moved. But as it turned out, they didn’t move fast enough. 

Maybe it was the shout, the clear sign that someone was alert, that caused the creature in the darkness to abandon all futile, furtive attempts at stealth and go from creeping up on the camp to rushing it. Or maybe it was something else, the movement, the noise of multiple people; nobody could truly know. 

Whatever the case may be, Jonathan couldn’t help but stare for a breath or two when the creature emerged from the darkness, familiar, yet alien at the same time, deeply within the uncanny valley. But even while staring, he managed to raise his spear, setting it against his shield and bracing himself. If the thing wanted to charge, he would meet the charge and let it impale itself. 

But the thing, that far too human, far too naked thing, didn’t simply charge; it burst forward with impossible speed, suddenly dipping low to avoid the point of his spear, and then it barreled into his braced shield and crashed into him with its full weight. He was pushed on his back foot, sliding and giving ground a little to absorb the weight, but he had been braced well enough to keep his balance and push back, shoving the thing away from him. Not far enough to bring his spear to bear again, but far enough to give him some space, letting him bash the thing with his shield. 

By now, he wasn’t fighting alone any longer, though his comrades made quite the sight. Clad in what little they wore to bed, they barely had time to grip their weapons or pick up a shield; if the situation hadn’t been as dire as it was, he might have laughed. But with a naked monster attacking him, a monster that looked far too much like Kevin for the similarities to be a coincidence, he wasn’t about to be picky. 

“Snap out of it!” one of the others shouted, trying to reach Kevin, if he was still in there. After all, this wasn’t the first time that something had messed with somebody’s mind, so there was a chance. A slim chance, but a chance nonetheless.

For a moment, the creature paused, staring at them as they stared back, noticing the similarities between the thing and their friend, but also the differences. The jaw, the arms, the claws and the fangs- oh, those horrible fangs- were all vastly different. So were the eyes. Gone were Kevin’s warm, amber eyes, replaced by orbs of pure red, almost as if somebody had replaced them with orbs of blood.

Then the moment shattered; the creature leapt forward again, and Jonathan braced himself, ready to push it back once more. Only the expected impact didn’t come; just before the creature crashed into him and his shield, it spun to the side, moving in that inhuman, impossibly fast way it had used before. Instead of crashing into Jonathan and his shield, it moved around him, legs coiling to spring forward and crash into one of the recent sleepers, who didn’t even have sturdy clothes. Just a simple, thin shirt, comfortable to sleep in, but no protection from the reaching claws as they ripped deep gouges into his chest.

Another moved to assist, striking at the thing’s head with a club, hoping to stun or daze it for a moment so they could subdue it, but the creature’s agility proved too much as it dodged aside, ducking low to avoid the blow. The claws swiped out once more, higher this time, catching a throat and tearing through it without slowing down, letting blood rain down on the entire group. 

With a gasp, Jonathan struck again, bashing the creature with his shield, then stabbing forward with his spear, moving faster than he ever had. And it was fast enough, maybe because the creature had been distracted by the raining blood for a second, maybe because he had been lucky; it mattered little. The spear pierced deeply into the creature’s side, causing it to stagger back.

For a moment, it tried to turn, to move away from the piercing spear, but Jonathan used his superior leverage to control its movement. Its entire body froze, the head snapping up and its baleful, blood-red eyes focused on Jonathan, the seemingly sightless gaze paralysing him. Suddenly, the creature’s jaw dropped, revealing jagged teeth once more, but instead of trying to bite, it let out a sharp, piercing scream. The sound was horrifying, like nails on a chalkboard, not the sound any living thing should ever make. Multiple people dropped to their knees, their hands desperately covering their ears in a vain attempt to block out the noise. By the time they recovered, the creature was gone, leaving nothing but blood and death in its wake.