THE MEGA MUSHROOM PHOTOSHOOT EXCLUSIVE (Patreon)

you check the other papers at the newsstand, and some headlines read as following:

"TOP 10 EPIC LIFE HACKS TO JUMP AN EXTRA BLOCK!"
there's an attached stock image of a strollin' stu with a lightbulb above its head.

"BREAKING: PRINCESS CAUGHT SLEEPING WITH ANOTHER MAN?!"
there's an attached image of princess peach sleeping soundly with a plush zeekeeper.

"FIFTEEN DEAD AFTER MASS ACCIDENT ON UNMARKED CLIFF"
there's an attached image of a green koopa troopa approaching a ledge.

"NEW VIDEO GAME SELLS MILLIONS, KILLS EVEN MORE"
warioware inc. has released another game.

"NEW PARALLEL UNIVERSE DISCOVERED, THE EXACT SAME AS THE OTHER ONES"
professor e. gadd is on the front. he's asking why they keep getting funding for checking parallel universes, instead of putting forward a treaty to disarm kart races. he looks tired.