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Harry used to feel so low 

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Harry recalls the first few months after he and Maisie separated. 

He had felt hopeless; someone cheating on you is a sure fire way to feel like you’ve reached the bottom of the barrel. It was dark and murky, muddy thoughts that slither through the brain, overgrown vines that pervade the entire being. Lying down with sandbags stretched over the body, weighed down to the mattress, adhered to it for hours until pure obligation withdrew him from it. All the love in his heart, apart from what he had for Teddy, had shriveled. 

There were a lot of questions that enter your head when it happens -- or at least there had been for Harry. Had it been something he’d done? Was he not good enough? Had she just merely fallen out of love with him? But why couldn’t she have just told him that, instead of sneaking around for months, stringing him along, leading him to think that everything was fine -- that it was normal for them to be drifting apart. They’d been together for so long. . .had a child together -- that kind of love doesn’t just leave, does it? How could it? Had he wasted years for someone he wasn’t even going to end up with in the end? 

When she had Teddy, he had never felt more alone. And he didn’t want to be alone; when the shadows that stretch along the hallway were his own, his heart sank down to his chest. The bed was too big and too cold, his heart ached when his eyes fluttered open to the emptiness beside him -- the first few weeks he had Teddy sleeping in bed with him, but when the little one had begun requesting that he sleep with all his stuffies again because they were getting lonely, he figured he shouldn’t push it (so they limited it to Teddy sharing the bed with him twice a week until he didn’t need it as much). 

Harry felt hopeless. . .he felt broken. How was he ever supposed to love someone like how he loved her? 

He tried dating but he had fallen out of practice, and sex just wasn’t as meaningful as it once had been. They’d fuck, Harry would thank them, they would leave, and he was alone again. Besides the few glamorous moments of him getting off with another warm body, he was left feeling just as empty as he had started. It made it hard to even want to try, if nothing had changed in the end. And most of the people he went to bed with were already so tied up in the fact that Harry had money, or would appear so alarmed when they would side step one of Teddy’s toys. . .it was just too much -- it was much easier to just not do it at all. 

So he hadn’t been with anyone for a while, when Y/N had come around. Who he had once known as the cute, spiretly flower shop worker who floated along the store with him, explaining different arrangements he could do that not a lot of people think of.  He remembered her voice and how soft it was, how she withdrew a flower from one of the small water reservoirs and she showed him how to hold it without being pricked by the thorns. Their fingers had touched -- only momentarily, but they had -- and he just thought she was the cutest little thing. From the pink apron she had tied around her back to the matching pink flats that were giving the poor thing a blister on her heel. His thoughts had danced around less than innocent for a moment but he muted them, thanked her for the floral ideas, paid her and left a sizable tip in their jar. 

Though it was seldom that he necessarily needed to go to a floral shop so with time she had fluttered from his mind. With Teddy, his job, and everything that fell between that, it was easy to forget about the little crushes you develop for a sparing moment. 

Until they trip outside of your door, bleed down their leg, yet keep an eye on your child when he decides that he’s going to make a run for it out of the front. 

He recognized her, sure, and he had brought it up as he tended to her knee. It wasn’t anything like love at first sight -- he had long since stopped believing that after everything that happened with Maisie -- but there had been a small twitch in his heart. He thought she was cute, a soft spot developed when he realized how much Teddy was enamoured by both her and her dog who shared the same gentle temperament. And when she limped off, he thought what a small world it must be to see her around here, but he didn’t expect to see her again. It wasn’t often he was home during the day anyway, and if he was then he and Teddy would play in the backyard if they were playing outside at all.

Then he saw her again. 

And again. 

And again, and again, and again. 

Her name was Y/N, she was too precious for him to comprehend, and she not only helped him when he needed it, but took care of Teddy seamlessly and left him macaroni and cheese. Then she started babysitting for him, he saw her more often, he got to know the inner workings of her brain, what was important to her, her thought processes, how much she cared about having the right cheese and substituting it for something else might as well be throwing “garbage in the recipe” because she was learning how to cook for them and wanted it to be perfect. 

It was the night of the small gathering she’d attended with him, in her beautiful red gown with Teddy on her hip. How she handled Maisie’s boyfriend, took Teddy home, got him in his night clothes and sat with him until Harry got home. How she remembered at the perfect moment that she had their presents in the car, gave Teddy a track for his adored race cars, and Harry a shirt that he adored, which he had only mentioned once to her and she somehow kept onto it.  . .it was then that Harry had decided. 

He was absolutely in love with her. 

When he would come home after a work stressed and weighed down by the day, instead of a still house with a slumbering Teddy and a Nanny who was ready to leave -- he would be met with two scenarios, both ideal: 

Y/N and Teddy would be awake if he was home earlier enough, usually after dinner and after Teddy’s bath so he was in his soft pajamas, his hair was washed, he was significantly less sticky and smelled like baby lotion. She would also look a little sleepy but she and Teddy would be playing, or Teddy would be snuggled with Eeyore watching a show while Y/N was taking notes. Then he was greeted with hugs by Teddy and Y/N excitedly taking him to the kitchen so he could try the dish she made. 

Or he would stroll in later, Teddy would be asleep in his bed, and Y/N might be taking notes in the living room, or she was amidst cleaning (no matter how many times he assured her it wasn’t necessary), or she herself had fallen asleep some on the couch, eyes fluttered shut and Eeyore snuggled at her feet. Harry hated waking her up and would let her stay all night if she wanted to, but sometimes she had school, and this was before it was acceptable to pick her up and carry her to his bed. So he would place his hand on her shoulder, give her a small little shake and coax her awake. It would take everything in his power not to coo at her when she stared at him with puffy, bleary eyes, and a small sleepy smile, “Hi Mr. Styles. How was your day?” 

He didn’t feel as heavy with loneliness as he once had and now. . .now, when they are more to each other than what it started out with, when Harry came home he was greeted with hugs and kisses. Y/N still loves cooking new things for them and takes great pleasure in watching Harry bite into them for the first time. If he knows he’ll be late, Y/N packs a bag to stay the night, so sometimes he’ll come and she’s showered and dressed for bed herself. 

Even when Teddy is down for bed and Y/N is tiptoeing around, the halls were still filled with such life and ebullience that had been missing for so long. Hell, he isn’t even sure it’d been there when he and Maisie were together. After Teddy, she’d grown stiffer, more detached, and the further into their careers they went the more so she strayed from him. When he purchased this house, they might as well had already been split apart.  

But if felt like Y/N belonged there, with him and Teddy. The puzzle piece that had been missing from the center. 

Which is why snow days were so amazing. 

It took a lot for a college to call a snow day, Harry remembered as much. It could be -18 degrees with blizzard like snow and icy roads and even then the possibility is still slim -- plenty of times Harry had to pull on his thick snow boots and mentally prepare to leave his dorm, knowing that his first step outside with icicle the snot in his nose and make it difficult to blink.

So when Y/N is babysitting Teddy for him (though she dislikes when he calls it babysitting because she insists she, Eeyore and Teddy are just hanging out) and the roads are already bad when Harry is driving home from work, he is worried. Thinks that maybe her lectures won’t be called off and she’ll feel pressured by the need to be there -- which of course, Harry wouldn’t want to let her drive in alone but he couldn’t necessarily bring Teddy out in weather like this because the poor little bugger was already prone to colds and -18 was just a little too frigid for his tender skin to be out in. Which left Harry’s only option of letting her drive but giving her a brief reminder on how to navigate in the weather, or beg her to stay in so he didn’t have to worry. Hell, if he didn’t feel safe enough to put a ton of men and women he barely knew on the roads (he had called a snow day for his company), then how was he going to comfortably put her on one? 

Harry was so worried about it he barely slept, waking up every hour on the hour with his arms snuggled around her waist, eying the white numbering on the clock. Her university would send out a message and a call around 5:30AM that would say whether or not they would go on as planned. When he wakes up for the sixth time at 5:15AM, he decides to stay up and wait for it. He shuffled, allowing himself to face the clock and her phone beside it more comfortably, carefully maneuvering her where she laid on his chest. Her ear was pressed close to his heartbeat and her arm flopped across his waist like she might be keeping him still, soft little snores would be abrupt from her every so often, and he just thought they were so cute he could kiss her awake. She went to bed late, probably a few hours after he had actually fallen asleep, he could still hear her clicking at her keyboard every so often he roused to turn, or whine about her giving him a cuddle. It must have been around 1AM that she finally put her computer away and Harry felt her raise his arm to fit herself beneath it, pushing a kiss to his collarbone, murmuring a soft, “Love you. Sweet dreams.” 

If this poor thing had to go to lecture today he would be livid. 

The phone vibrated on the nightstand and Harry had to stretch over her to reach it, which disrupted her some, a little whine slithering from her as he grabbed for the phone. There’s one new message from her school, in big bold letters, all Harry has to see is CLOSED DUE TO INCLIMATE WEATHER and he rejoices. Y/N was looking up at him, eyes barely open, and lips pouting, “Stop movin’ me.” 

“Sorry,,” he smiles down at her, “But your classes got cancelled today.” 

A small smile cracks over her dry mouth, eyes closing completely once more, “Yay,” she responds, a stretch accompanied with a little groan, “Le’s sleep more, kay?” 

Harry chuckles, repositioning her so he held her close again, “Okay, baby.” 

It blew his mind how easily she could evoke such feelings of love and warmth into his body, and how she barely had to be awake to do so. 

So Harry indulged in a few more hours of sleep, and when he stirred the second time it was to two whispered voices. 

“Do you wanna sleep more, Teds?” Harry couldn’t make out a response before she continued, “You wanna cuddle?” 

“Daddy won’t be mad?” 

“Course not, bug, c’mon,” there’s some shuffling, Harry feels her shift from his arms and he frowns some, “If you ask Eeyore nicely, I bet he’ll cuddle with us.” 

Harry gives them a moment to settle before he follows her body warmth, sliding his arm back around her and Teddy both in his half awake state. He felt them tense for a moment before a round of giggles leaves the both of them, before Y/N pulls the blanket more secure around all of them, “Go to sleep, Teds, when we wake up I’ll make us waffles.” 

“Tanks, I wove you.” 

His heart could have popped from his chest with how adorable he found the moment and how happy he was. So he holds them tighter, snuggles his face into Y/N’s throat, and slowly falls back asleep. 

Harry had never felt so complete.