Seeking Strays - Chapter 89 - Fog and Aftermath (Patreon)

I knelt there, surrounded by bloody heaps as my skin slowly started to mend. Even after the last of the Fog Crawlers died, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the woman in front of me. Her corpse was horribly desecrated not only by my own actions, but by the monsters that’d been parasitizing her. 

Killing her was a mercy. Logically, I knew that. She’d corrupted at some point, and been too far gone to save. Leaving her alive would’ve been just another cruelty inflicted on the poor woman, not to mention she was too dangerous to leave alone. I did the right thing. For once, I’d actually managed to do the right thing.

So why—? I brushed my face with the black of my hand, wiping away a streak of red. My clothes were ruined. Small dots and holes covered them, and my sleeves were torn apart by the hungry moth monstrosities. Thin strands of fabric dangled from my shoulders, with most of them blood soaked. 

My hands trembled. The worst part? It felt good. It felt disgustingly good to drink down her heart and absorb the Vitae from her still warm corpse. That rushing high of warmth was like the sweetest drug I’d ever taken, and I’d taken quite a few of them back in the kennel. It made my stomach rumble just thinking about getting more of it.

Rend had done it on its own. Heh, right. I didn’t want to devour her heart. I hadn’t even realized what was happening until it was too late to stop. Till it was so late I didn’t want to stop… until the Anarch lay dead below me, her body rapidly losing heat as her heart was stolen away.

A weak laugh escaped me, and I ground my palms up into my eyes. How very typical. It seemed the world was destined to turn me into something unrecognizable. “Vigil?”

“I’m here, Operator Reyna.” Vigil floated down beside me. The soft plushy had somehow managed to dodge the blood sprays. 

I wanted to reach out and hug him close to my chest. I wanted to bury my face into his fluffy little body and pretend the last half hour hadn’t happened. Instead, I just clenched my fists at my side and grit my teeth. I didn’t want to contaminate him with the mixture of mine and her blood.

When I spoke, my voice came out flat and emotionless. It was almost mechanical in nature. “Was that the last of them?”

”Affirmative.” Vigil’s light swept across the diner. Even his voice had more emotion than mine. “This unit detects no other movement.”

”Heh… right.” I scratched at my ears roughly. Even if there were other Fog Crawlers, they probably wouldn’t last for long in the city. The radiance emitted from the pylon would get them before too long. 

I wasn’t sure how that Anarch had been corrupted to emit Mire fog, but without her they had no chance of surviving. Then… then that was a good thing, wasn’t it? I’d saved people. It was already too late for the people who’d been in the diner, but everyone else…

My gaze drifted back to the woman’s body. My eyes locked onto the slits my claws had cut through her exposed flesh into the empty cavity of missing heat. She’d probably saved people too, once. No, no, maybe she was an Anarch from the start. Not everyone was a corrupted Guardian.

”But they’ll all taste just as good as hers.” A warm, soft voice echoed in the back of my mind. My ears flattened at the voice that was so eerily similar to my mother. For one horrible moment, I almost found it comforting. “Trust me. I’ve had plenty.” 

I blankly rubbed at my arms, tearing open the fresh wounds that just started to heal. I could still feel my claws digging into her chest. I could feel the disgusting warmth flowing up into me as Rend drank down her heart. She was a villain. She was evil. There was no other answer I could accept.

My nails dug into my arms, and my head dropped forward. Vigil, the ever vigilant, noticed. “Are you… okay, Operator?”

“Fine. I’m fine.” I tried to force a smile. It felt closer to baring my teeth at him like a wounded animal.

”Your heart rate remains elevated.” His light turned red and flicked over me. “This unit also detects signs of psychological distress.”

”I’m covered in blood, Vigil.” My smile slipped, and I blankly met the plushy’s eyes. “There’d be a bigger issue if I wasn’t distressed.” 

“Affirmative… There there, Operator, it wasn’t your fault.” The word came out slow and awkward like he didn’t quite know what to say. The light he’d been putting off flickered out. “You’ve killed plenty of people people before, so—“

”Please stop trying to comfort me.” I bit out as my eyes squeezed shut. He was actively making it worse. The stupid clanker’s intentions were pure, but he needed to hit the textbooks harder.

For a moment, neither of us said anything. Vigil’s eyes turned downcast, and he dropped into a hover just beside me. His little red eyes glowed in the dim diner. The bot was probably waiting for me to say something and tell him what he said wrong. To tell him what was wrong with me.

What was I supposed to say? That I’d just eaten someone’s heart? That some horrible, hungry part of me wanted to do it again if I got the chance? It wasn’t like I didn’t even get anything out of it. That was 25 Vitae for just one heart. 25 Vitae closer to becoming immune…

I rubbed at my face roughly. “Just… just give me a minute, Vigil.”

“Of course, Operator.”

I sat there for a long time. By the time I got my breathing back under control and shoved all my thoughts and feelings back into their little box, the fog around me was already starting to fade. It couldn’t last much longer without the Anarch to sustain it. I had a few minutes tops before someone noticed something was off and reported it. 

I shook my head and forced myself back up to my feet. My knees wobbled slightly thanks to the chunks that’d been bitten out of them, but I managed to stay upright. “Come on. We should get going.”

Vigil’s eyes flashed like he was happy I was talking once more. “If you wish to rest—“

”I said I’m fine,” I snapped at the robot. The word held a sharp edge as they came out. 

My ears flatted against my head once more, and my tail curled between my legs. My sharp canines pressed into my lips hard enough for me to taste copper. Great. Just great. Now I was taking out my anger on Vigil, too. He hadn’t done anything wrong except try to worry about a monster like me.   

“Sorry,” I muttered softly.

”There is no need to apologize, Operator. This unit is incapable of feeling, and therefore was not harmed by your words.” Of course he’d say that. And he could feel things. It wasn’t in the same way that I could with messy hormones and chemicals, but I’d seen it myself over the months we’d been together. Somehow, that just made me feel even worse.

I looked away, and picked up the crowbar that the Anarch had been using. My eyes caught on her face as I bent over. Aside from the path my claws had ripped through her skull, it was the most untouched part of her body. And in her last moments, she had a smile spread across her lips.

What had she been thinking about in the end as Rend devoured her heart. Was she just happy to finally be free? Had she been thinking of someone she loved, like a sister? Or had she been so far gone into corruption and drugs that she couldn’t even understand what was happening anymore? My claws had already sliced into her brain by that point, so…

I—I hoped it was the first. A soft whisper leaked out of me, “sorry.”

No one replied to my whisper. ‘Course. Who else was in the diner to hear it aside from Vigil? It was just him and the voices taunting me in my head. I couldn’t even have a proper breakdown without them interrupting. “If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done it… it’s not too late. You could atone.”

My hands tightened around the crowbar. Atonement? Could someone like me ever atone for the things I’d done? Yesterday it was murder, today it’s eating a human heart, then what about tomorrow? Would I complete my transformation into the thing I feared I’d become? Was it even possible for a monster like me to atone?

I… I didn’t deserve to atone. Sure, Rend had forced me to do it this time around. I didn’t have a choice in the matter, just like I hadn’t had a choice in so many other things in my life. Once my claws touched a heart, there was no pulling back. I didn’t have to use my claws, though. I could’ve used anything else. Some small part of me knew this was going to happen, and hadn’t resisted.

My foot crushed the white bodies of moths underfoot. I was no different than the Fog Crawlers feasting on her flesh and blood. At least they didn’t pretend to be anything else. They were monsters through and through. They killed and ate because that was just what monsters did… So what did that make me?

“Reyna.” A strong voice called my name. “Reyna Vargriev.”

I blinked slowly. Vigil hovered just in front of my face. His cute little eyes stared straight into my own blood-hungry red ones. “Y-yeah?”

”Are you certain you are well enough to continue?” He asked. “I can call Quinn or Sister Neriyov to come help.”

I stared at him blankly for a long moment. Quinn? Neriyov? So what—so they could see me? See what I’d done? They’d come if I called. They’d pat me, and make sure I was okay even as my mind was being actively destroyed by my own nature. Afterward though, afterward they’d start asking questions. Questions I’d rather die than answer. 

My tail hung limply behind me as I smiled at the adorable plushy. It was a good thing he was cute. “Of course I can continue. I’m a big girl, remember?”

I forced myself to look away, and busied my mind by focusing on the crowbar held tightly in my hand. Just as I suspected, the Biosystems popped up. 

| Rustbite

Type: Equipment 

Anomalous Property: Corrosion

Effect: Hits have a small chance to spread Rustbite’s corrosion onto the target. Bonus chance for anything armored. |

Rustbite, huh? I took a practice swing with the anomalous crowbar and felt my muscles scream from where my own claws had dug too deep in an attempt to ward off the Fog Crawlers. If I had my Barghest armor when she struck me, what would’ve happened? Would it have rusted right off my body?

It wasn’t a bound anomaly, so I could make it vanish into the void until I needed it again. Instead, I tucked it under one arm and followed Seek back into the warehouse. My nose curled up at the heavy stench of drugs filling the air. White mounds lay scattered everywhere from where the Anarch had dug into them. 

Seek led me around the warehouse to a hidden panel along the back corner of the warehouse. My claws… stayed right where they belonged where they couldn’t hurt anyone else. Instead, I rammed Rustbite into the small lip and pried it open. The top panel popped off its hinges, revealing a hidden storage spot. It wasn’t very big, but it was full of no doubt ill-gotten loot.

There was a stack of cred chips that I stuffed into my pants pocket before I even had time to think about it. Heh… I’d just eaten a person’s heart, and here I was robbing a gang right after. At least this monster was getting paid for being such a disaster.

My eyes were locked onto the lantern to the side. It was the item that Vesper had requested I found. Just like the crowbar, it was an anomalous item that made my Biosystems react.

| Wisp’s Lantern

Type: Equipment 

Anomalous Property: Guiding Light

Effect: Absorb sunlight to create a small wisp that will light your way. |

It was a basic effect. One that I didn’t even need since I could see in the dark fairly well. Not that it mattered. I wouldn’t have taken it anyway, or I’d have to worry about a bunch of paladins from the church tracking me down. I’d return it to Vesper when I found the chance. 

Aside from that, there were three things left in the storage spot. Gecho scales, Virail rust, and a vial of Totren blood. All three were items from Calamities, and made me hesitate instead of swiping them. I wasn’t sure about the other two, but Gecho scales were definitely used to turn into a Reaver. 

“This unit is picking up a Peace Keeper patrol heading our way.” Vigil spoke up from beside me. At some point during his upgrade, he’d apparently unlocked the ability to act as a PK scanner. 

“Right.” I pulled out a key, and turned it midair. Redline pixelated to life in the middle of the warehouse. I could figure out what to do with the Reaver supplies later. For now, I shoved everything onto my back and tore out of the warehouse with what I’d come for.