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Real Time s24e23 - Keep the Horny Goat Weed Away From Andrew Cuomo feat Emily Faye (Patreon)

Published:
2026-08-21 22:33:08
Edited:
2026-08-21 22:35:39
Imported:
2026-08
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Comedian Emily Faye returns, and Bill Maher rewrites the Turner Diaries.

Listen to Medium LiterateSupport I Hate Bill Maher on Patreon

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William

Listening to the entire New Rules segment confirms to me that Bill Maher is a xenophobic bigot who hasn't the faintest idea how politics works—which is funny and ironic, considering he is paid literally millions of dollars to talk about it. So, Bill claims that Muslims do not want to integrate into the United States and tries to "prove" this by citing a random politician from Washington State—specifically, by pointing to the decision not to include any LGBT rights-related planks in that politician's online platform. (All this coming from someone who is, for all intents and purposes, one of the country's most ardent transphobes.) Bill knows full well that you have to be a citizen to vote, right? And he knows that the politician in question doesn't want to alienate Muslim voters (that is, Muslims who are American citizens, whether by birth or naturalization). In effect, Bill implies that it is impossible to be both Muslim and an American citizen, and that all Muslims in America are immigrants who secretly have no desire to be "American" (whatever that means; I imagine Bill has a very specific and narrow definition of the term). Anyone who understands politics knows that to win, you have to appeal to the voters in your district and state, given that not all districts and states share the same ideological views. (Again, it is ironic that Bill is the one making such a point: he loathes political "purity tests," yet insists on imposing them on Muslims.) There are many horrible homophobes and bigots in the country who are not Muslim; many of them are guests on Bill Maher's show, hold political office, or work at the White House. It is as if, in his mind, all Muslims in America come from another country and want gay people dead—despite polls showing that the majority of American Muslims support the Equality Act. Furthermore, when he speaks of Muslims, he almost certainly means Arabs and people with brown skin—but not Black people, given that a third of Muslims in America are Black. Does he think that all the immigrants in this country (who, by sheer coincidence, come from non-white-majority nations—though I am certain that has nothing to do with it) want to somehow destroy the constitutional order and replace it with something else? It is already happening, and at the hands of Donald Trump—the very man Bill Maher had dinner with. Furthermore, this attempt to rewrite history to portray support for gay rights as a quintessentially American value—but that has hardly been the case. American history is replete with examples of hostility toward gay people, such as colonial sodomy laws (the early American colonies inherited English common law, punishing same-sex acts with whipping, exile, or hanging—as in the case of Richard Cornish, executed in Virginia in 1624); the "Lavender Scare" of the 1950s, during which the federal government fired thousands of gay and lesbian employees, deeming them "security risks" and subversives vulnerable to communist blackmail; the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1952, which used clauses regarding "psychopathic personality" to officially ban gay men and lesbians from entering the United States; the frequent police raids on gay bars and nightclubs, which led to the Stonewall riots of 1969; the AIDS crisis of the 1980s and 1990s; the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy of 1993, introduced under the Bill Clinton administration, which allowed gay men and lesbians to serve in the military provided they did not disclose their sexual orientation, while mandating discharge if that orientation became known or if they engaged in same-sex sexual activity; and finally, the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) of 1996, a law that defined marriage at the federal level exclusively as a union between a man and a woman, thereby denying legally married same-sex couples federal recognition and benefits. Until the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from its manual of mental disorders in 1973, medical and psychological institutions widely labeled gay people as suffering from mental disorders, subjecting them to harmful conversion "treatments." I mean, I know Bill’s brain is completely cooked by now—to the point of having holes in it—but this new rule amounts to rewriting history through a racist, xenophobic, and Islamophobic lens, intolerant of the "strange foreigners." At this rate, he’ll end up calling for another ban on Muslims.

Betti Tristan

This podcast really goes to show that a sorrow shared between two people is half a sorrow and a joy shared between two people is double the joy

mrg

real! time! re! cap! sing it with me

Deb

Oh my god the taxes bullshit . . . I can't follow Bill's math - start with $1 billion, take out a quarter, then another half? So we're talking either 3/8 or 1/4 of a billion left over, maybe? This dweeb has NO idea how far most people could make *either* $375 mil or $250 mil stretch. Like, boo-hoo, so I don't have a private island or my own space rocket. I'm still never gonna have to work for the rest of my life.

Specks

The lip smacks were crazy!

Barry Brownstein

With the caveat that I'm only going off what I've heard on this show - Bill may be GENUINELY starting to cognitively decline. Like, this is at risk of going past being angry at his dumb bullshit and into deep pity for this old pedophile...

Jim Allenspach

New rule! The podcaster who took over a week between posting episodes has got to admit: that's weird

MammaMia

Who else so old the Over Thirties greeting makes you feel young

Kelli Rule

I can't belie e Bill admitted to being a Boomer

Specks

There was a point where I was trying to learn about stoicism and found Ryan Holiday's books and website and it was *immediately* apparent to me that he is a grifter.

Tala Hobballah

"We don't do honor killings" Men don't kill women in their family here from shame? Men don't kill women here at all apparently.

Will Weldon

Hard to think of a more normal behavior

Duncan

The Nazis weren't atheists and Bill can't pronounce Cueta.

Samantha Enders

The lip smacks were so bad this week I felt I had to bring up this bit I’ve had for awhile now Whenever I hear those smacks I picture that’s how BM actually eats out someone 💀

MammaMia

Always a good time to remember that Rudy Giuliani's first wife was his second cousin

Matt Pearson

I counted 28. Even though I know they're coming, it still makes me cry out in shocked anguish when he does it in the clips. The smackdown just makes me laugh, though. I guess it's the difference between a fireworks display and someone throwing a firecracker behind your desk.

DBC

And that Rudy Giuliani married and had sex with that woman, his cousin.

Rebecca Richards

Holy Shit, just caught up to this and it is incredible that with Andrew Cuomo in the room Bill Maher still managed to ratchet up the racism so hard that he outdid him. Say what you will about the Grinch, he doesn't hate Muslims, just the concept of happiness itself!

mrg

also, the grinch was shown to be capable of learning

Phoebe Lile

Will, I saw a comment that I thought would drive you crazy. I watched Contrapoint's new patron video about liberalism and one of the comments said something along the lines of "I was being pulled into antisemitic conspiracy theories from the left, until I started watching Bill Maher. He really pulled me back into reality." They did acknowledge that he's going off the rails now too, but I thought that was wild

trasparenti

Enjoy Emily's attitude w every appearance. Great guest! The level of exuberance really helps balance out Bill being a charisma black hole

A dunt

She is so fucking hilarious- I actually listened to this episode TWICE (yes I’m mentally ill)

Stacey Lee

Emily’s laugh is the best

Betti Tristan

Exactly! The guy that shot his daughter after a fight they had over Trump, that was an honor killing. We definitely do honor killings, and we definitely do child marriages.

Betti Tristan

Can’t be, there were 28 lip smacks and only 26 letters in the American™️ english alphabet

Desirae Cicerone

Yiiiikes. Thinking the antisemitism of BM, who conflates Jews with Israel and Judaism with Zionism, has pulled one back from antisemitic conspiracy theories... sad times.

Kimmerfest

The guy with a personal chef complaining that millennials have their burritos delivered