Pets (Patreon)

Long before the advent and popularization of synthetic meat products, the people of FB got the bulk of their dietary protein from insects. The insects of their world can come in far larger sizes than anything we’re used to, and have been historically consumed toasted, fried, barbecued, or just plain raw (hell, sometimes even still alive). However the modern meat industry (only a couple decades old) has led an aggressive and successful advertising campaign to associate consumption of their dubious, lab-grown meats and sodium-rich meat-flavored slurries as a show of wealth and health- and of course, to associate insects, a cheap and healthy food source, with poverty and barbarity.

In modern times, the big bugs of FB have discovered newfound popularity as household pets. Bruce owns a much beloved giant moth named Pearlie. She’s a rare member of a species known as Imperial Lunella, a massive breed of moth known for requiring precise, delicate care to emerge from its cocoon with its signature glimmering wingspan. Bruce saved Pearlie from a batch of discarded eggs in the zooniversity biology lab, and he adores her with every inch of his soul. Insects are not really known for their intellect, but we’re operating on my little pony/Pokémon rules, where pets are quasi-sentient and have their own quirks and feelings. Pearlie can chirp, trill, coo, and splat-land on the faces of people she doesn’t like. As far as pets go, she’s somewhere between a housecat and a parakeet, often chill just doing her own thing, but very affectionate with Bruce (and very nosy about his personal life).

Sunny’s giant isopod is named Nancy and he found her in a dumpster. In contrast to Pearlie, Nancy is about as intelligent as a roomba, or perhaps a rock. Much like a roomba, Nancy scuttles around Sunny and Bruce’s apartment, eating Sunny’s shed fur, crumbs, nail clippings, and generally anything she can fit in her mandibles. Nancy has no interests besides this and is incapable of love or affection or mercy. Her feet make creepy clickety-click noises as she scuttles about, and she likes to hide wherever it’s dark and dank. She smells vaguely of mildew. She would eat Sunny if she could. And yet Sunny loves her, takes her on walkies everyday, dresses her up in cute dresses and bows and posts the pics on all his social media accounts and gives her kissies on her crusty lil head. Someday, Nancy shall have her revenge, but now, this all makes for a decent living arrangement.