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Not-Lean Not-Mean Mom Jeans Machine (Patreon)

Published:
2025-04-17 03:29:03
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

Sorry for the lull these past couple days y’all. Here’s a lil concept sketch before bed~

Meet Wanda! She’s Bob’s mama, and deeeeefinitely not Linda Belcher in a coat of furry paint. She’s a porcupine with a tendency to puff up her quills whenever she’s excited, which is all the friggin’ time, so she often poses an accidental hazard to bystanders. Wanda loves food (she’s got a real weakness for cheese and carbs), spicy gossip, saucy romance novels, and embarrassing the heck out of her bitty baby 40-something year old son Bobby (who she just loves so friggin’ much!!). She’s seen every single season of 90 Day fiancé, her phone brightness and volume are always set to MAXIMOM, and any visitors to her home will be subject to lethal heapings of pasta and rugelach. Including you. No one is safe.

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Comments

RagingRiptide

OH MY GODD Bobs burgers has my heart, what I would give to see a bobs bob burgers inspired family 😭🙏 she is PERFECTION!!

SketchyBug

>mom jeans *sprints to my iPad*

Tibbles Yorkie789

Been binging bobs burgers I love her so much 😔

GanashiAshaka

As a New Englander, I can confirm you hit the nail with her...New Englanderness. Also I totally picture her voice being either John Roberts or Fran Drescher!

pookaWOODS

OOOMMMGGGG I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!!

GanashiAshaka

Also Bob totally reminds me of my Father in Law, who is also a construction New Englander, so double nailed it!

lopoddity

Ayyyyy John and Fran were two of the voices I imagined for here! Also Julie Kavner (voice of Marge Simpson + Timon's Ma in Lion King)

Jay Martinez

This is literally my mom I’m sobbing 😂

Alight

An excitable porcupine fits Linda surprisingly well.

gamigami

as someone who just ate quiche...this was scary to see. gotta love her and her clairvoyant abilities, i absolutely adore the colors you used here

WeirdAsIzzie

"When I die, I want you to cremate me and throw my ashes in Tom Selleck's face."

arcadia

love her!! is bobby her biological son? i'm just confused since she's a porcupine and he's a beaver

Doglover502

She spies all on the gossip of the raccoon family next door, led by its head patriarch Lionel Kyle “Little King” Trashmouth

Queenie

I love her with every fiber of my being

Ren

His dad was likely a beaver. In fuzzbutts hybrids are rare and usually only between animals who could produce off spring (horse a + donkey = mule) But if the animals are separate species the offspring has 50/50 chance of being the species of the parents (beaver + porcupine = either a porcupine or beaver)

arcadia

that makes sense :)

Scorp

Oh my god, I love her! I wanna give her a hug but I think that would be a bad idea…

lopoddity

Her husband, already cracking up: That's a crazy request!

lopoddity

And his husband Gary, of course

Syd D.

As a Mainer I'm imagining her with the heaviest Boston accent I can lmao

Ren

I need to see Elenore and her have a wine night. She looks so fun. I bet she loves Kathy and still treats her as a daughter to. (Or Karmen can be to her what Ginger is to Linda lmao)

lopoddity

Yup, Ren explained it perfectly. Her husband/Bob's dad, Robert "Bert" Brückenbauer Sr, is a beaver (and basically looks like an older version of Bob). Unless a mixed species couple is genetically similar enough to hybridize (eg. a dog and a wolf, or a donkey and a horse), their child will always have a 50/50 chance of being the exact same species as one of the parents. In Bob's case, a beaver + a porcupine made a baby beaver, but there was an equal chance he might’ve been born a porcupine instead. Bob's extended family contains many different rodent species, which is why he always bristles at hearing "rat" or "rodent" used as an insult. His sweet Granny Fran was a rat, those are fightin' words! >:(

lopoddity

Things get kinda rocky between Bob and Kathy before and during the divorce, particularly with Bob feeling his marriage was a farce with Kath's late-in-life revelation that she's a lesbian. He can't help but feel hurt and upset with Kath and avoids her for a while, and gets annoyed with his mom for not fully taking his side. Like "Ma you can't keep going to get fondue with my EX-WIFE", and Wanda's like "Why? 🥺". Wanda is sympathetic, of course! That mean little hussy broke her poor Bobby's heart! >:( But....Kathleen has been Wanda's daughter-in-law for like 10 years. She can't help being gay! How can Wanda possibly pick a side? And most importantly of all, why does a tiny detail like a divorce have to get in the way of their cheese dates? 🥺

Tibbles Yorkie789

It’s always their moms and pets that are the hardest to leave in a breakup 😔

owlcoholik

I love how toony she looks with those little beady eyes ehehehe. As a fellow reality tv show trash rat I need to know who else in the cast is a reality tv show lover…looking at you Mal

Corinne Stephenson

I know someone already pointed out a Wanda + Eleanor power mom duo, but I feel like she is the perfect friend for Biscuit.

lopoddity

Mal would be scoffing at the very idea that she, an reknown academic and musical prodigy, would ever pollute her mind with something as trite and vapid as reality television. All while a worn dvd box set of Say Yes to the Dress is slowly sliding out her back pocket

Scyllarus

Oooh, yeah. Given her connection to Toffee (and therefore the other Meadowsweets), I kind of wonder if she's ever met...idk, her in-laws. She seems like an interesting friend for Biscuit, but also maybe for Maple...? If nothing else, maybe she can uh. Fix. Those terrifying casseroles.

Morghann Patterson

I feel like this specific kind of eagerness and sincerity would be kind of baffling to Toffee- how’d he feel upon meeting her?

lopoddity

We'll see Toffee and Wanda together soon. :3 For now I'll say Toffee made a lot of anxious assumptions about what he thought Bob's parents (traditional-minded blue collar baby boomers) would be like, and was very, very happy to be wrong

D

I have a day of chores with no one to keep me company I NEED her with me at the ikea to cause chaos

Morghann Patterson

Oh man, I just realized, obviously Kathy and Bob are still buddies (and Kathy and Wanda are besties) does Toffee ever get to meet her? Do they get to be buddies too, or is it more ‘yeah we both love bob <3’ ?

lopoddity

She may be an herbivorous rodent but she'll still throw hands to get dem swedish meatballs

D

“HAH! All these Swedish whatzits have such funny names. Look Bobby- this chair’s called POÄNG. I bet they named it aftah the noise it makes when ya father sits in it! Hahaha! Now cmon, let’s get two big ol’ TRAYS a’ meatballs”

D

lmao I just saw your reply 😭

PD19

Would

Soltori

oh shes so fun! this really fascinates me, for animals that have "inconvenient" physical traits, are there.. "mobility aids" to make them fit in more seamlessly within the society? like, wanda could have a shirt that protects other folks from her quills. or what about a suit that a poison frog can wear so anything they touch doesnt have residue. itd be interesting if there wasnt as much accessibility for nocturnal animals as well, like an owl having to pull an "all nighter" to go to their doctor appointment because their PCP is a bearded dragon

lopoddity

Yep! Kathy and Toffee are close friends. Toffee was initially threatened by her close relationship with Bob (who stays friends with their ex-husband? They kept living together after the divorce for a year!) and maaaaaybe a little jealous. But Kathy quickly showed him he had nothing to fear (she's gay as sunshine), and was simply too over-friendly and doofy for him to resist. She's the big sister he never had (complete with friendly arm punches he has to pretend don't hurt).

WAr

Does Bobby have any siblings ?

lopoddity

Wanda could wear a thick windbreaker to contain her quills, but she grips it makes her body shape look frumpy and her quills will rip through if she gets excited/mad anyway. For the most part Wanda is harmless, her quills naturally lay flat against her body, with the sharp tips aimed down toward the ground. When she becomes agitated, the quills become erect and point up and outward. Casual contact with her quills is unpleasant (like bumping into a cactus), but not normally enough to get the quills embedded into one's skin. It takes hard contact (or Wanda angrily launching herself at someone) to get quill'd.

lopoddity

I feel like Bob's parents are the type who realistically would've had like 10 kids, buuuut I'm trying to cut back on having characters just for the sake of having em. So for now, I'll say that Bob has one older brother, Dante. He was a bit of a bully to Bob growing up, but they've grown quite close as adults, and Dante will someday take over the family business from their parents, something Bob is pretty grateful not to have to do. Bob is also grateful Dante was the one to supply their parents with grandkids. Honestly I'm tempted to do a giant messy family tree just for shits and giggles, Bob's family and Toffee's family and all that entails

Lourenzo Dasilva

Wanda: I'm not like a regular mom. I'm a cool mom! Right Bob? Bob: Please stop talking

GanashiAshaka

More New England points! (Now I REALLY want to draw Wanda!)

GanashiAshaka

All she needs is a Dunks coffee!

WAr

What is the family business? Is Dante a beaver or a porcupine ? Sorry for all the questions lol I’m obsessed with Wanda

lopoddity

No need for apologies, I love the interest! :3 Not quite sure what the family business is yet, I know it's food service though. Still deciding on whether they run a classic diner, a bakery, or a hole-in-the-wall pizza joint (featuring delectable wood-fired pizza for rodents! The toppings are also wood.) Dante is a porcupine~

lopoddity

Wanda to Toffee: I always knew he was gay! 😌 I mean bi. Half gay, whateva. A mother always knows! He had SUCH a crush on the neighbor boy growing up- remember, Bobby? You remember your first little love?❤️ On little Rudy, that bite-sized cutie? He could pop a wheelie on his big boy bike before you'd even gotten your training wheels off, oh you were SO impressed! *whispering to Toffee* Bobby told me he wanted to hold Rudy's haaaand~ Bob, turning red at Toffee's snicker: Ma, I was SIX. Wanda: Six and already ready to commit! 🤭 *taking Toffee's glass to go refill* Beavers mate for life, ya know. 😘 Us rodents are real romantics at heart! ❤️ You'd better hurry up an' put a ring on my boy's finger, mister! You might be tall an' handsome, but that Rudy's moved back home with his mother, and I wouldn't want his stained wifebeaters to cause my Bobby ta stumble~ 😏 Bob, physically herding her out the room: WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE ALREADY Toffee, with a shit-eating grin: ...Little Rudy, the bite-sized cutie, huh? Bob, bright red: I WAS SIX

Soltori

that makes sense! itd definitely get expensive, and hot too! i love porcupines, though ive rarely lived around em

JoMama1516

This is so sweet 😂 Poor Bobby. Who was the one that proposed between the two of them?

lopoddity

I'm not sure yet! I feel like Toffee would want to, because Bob proposed to Kathy the first time around, so Toffee would want to give Bob the experience of being the one being proposed to. Also, proposals are an excuse to be hella romantic and give a flowery speech, and Toffee's wordy preacher ass loooooves flowery speeches AND opportunities to sweep his little beaver man off his feet. Toffee fully has it in him to propose and make Bob tear up in front of his whole family, it's a very sweet idea to me. Buuuuut I also have this very particular scene in my mind where Bob invites Toffee on a picnic date after work, but doesn't tell him it's a very special kinda date, so Toffee's gone hungry all day and is distractedly munching away while Bob fumbles and stammers and acts very odd- before abruptly proposing when Toffee has a big mouthful of sandwich, startling him and making him choke like a pigeon on a hot dog, and he's just flailing and coughing for a bit while Bob attempts the heimlich. And then he's REALLY mad that Bob didn't tell him that it was THAT kind of date, for god's sake if Toffee had known he would've pressed his shirt, would've trimmed his coat, wouldn't have been cramming food down his gullet like an idiot, he would have at LEAST wiped the crumbs from his face- to which Bob shrugs and says he doesn't care about any of that. He loves Toffee as is, crinkly shirt and scruffy fur and crumbs in his mustache. He's seen all this before, all the parts of Toffee that are imperfect, the parts he's embarrassed of- and he doesn't love Toffee in spite of them, he simply loves Toffee even more for having them. Of course that makes Toffee burst into tears ("aw shit" says Bob, thinking he's messed up), but Toffee tackles him in a blubbery wet hug with his tail thumping and peppers kisses to Bob's red face because yes yes yes a million times YES you horrible wonderful man ❤️

Doglover502

I’m for the wood fire pizza joint. It is niche by design (since most other animals don’t eat wood, I think) but a beloved little gem in the rodent community

TheTabbyBadger

Maybe Toffee was half-way through setting up for and making reservations for his elaborate plans and Bob sneaks in with his picnic xD

AsTheJayFlies

@thetabbybadger YES i like to imagine my fav podcast blorbos also in this situation when they propose. martin being a poet and carefully planning the perfect date and writing his proposal speech and then jon being the more impulsive and romantic of them just beating him to the punch on an average tuesday afternoon jfhdhfh

PD19

Would

lopoddity

It's flattering you commented this twice, haha ❤️