AJ and Cadence (Incomplete Draft) (Patreon)

Ayo, publishing this here for feedback and critique! Please share your honest thoughts! It's a shortish drabble but I wanna make sure the emotions are right. To my patrons that are trans, please don't hesitate to tell me if the writing is too hokey or patronizing. 

Trigger warning for characters making typical transphobic assumptions and also some misgendering! Sorry Applejack doesn't know how to talk about these things just yet

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 "How do we know this ain't a phase?"

Applejack chewed stubbornly on a stalk of wheat. Her question hung in the air. 

Cadence smiled politely. "I suppose there's a chance. " She offered,  "....Still, it couldn't hurt to indulge your child for a week or so. Call her by whatever pronouns she requests, let her dress however she likes.  See where it goes." She laid a hand across Applejack's shoulders,  feeling muscles rigid with tension. "....Maybe it is just a phase."

Secretly,  Cadence very much doubted it was. She'd sensed the yearning in the  young Apple foal's heart, a feeling as pure as it was familiar.

Applejack  worked her jaw, avoiding the gaze of the princess. "......And if it ain't?"  With a frustrated snort, she stood and began to pace, her heavy hooves  trampling the orchard grass. "Landsakes, how would he even know? He's six, for Celestia's sake!"

Cadence  was careful to keep her voice calm, as soft and soothing as a lullaby.  "Children typically have a very strong sense of self." She said, folding  her hands, "I'm sure Twilight can recommend some excellent reading on  the subject. I was around the same age myself when I knew."

"A'course."  Applejack scoffed. "And I reckon yer folks rolled over like dogs an'  letcha wear all the pretty princess ballgowns ya wanted, right? No wonder Equestria's goin' to hell in a handbasket." She rolled her eyes.  "Swear to Faust they're buildin' parents without backbones these days-"

"......Funny  you mention that." Cadence gave a rueful smile. "I can't actually remember my parents very much at all, Applejack. I'm told they died in  an accident, back when I was still very small."

Applejack's eyes  went wide, at the same time she sucked down a breath, nearly stumbling  over herself to apologize. ".....Oh. Oh, horseapples, princess, I had no idea-" She  leapt to lay her hands down on Cadence's shoulders, nearly engulfing  them in her palms. "I'm so, so sorry sugarcube. I-I shouldn't have- I'm sorry-"

Cadence covered one of the mare's hands with her own. "Applejack, it's alright-"

"It's not!"  Applejack argued. She snatched off her stetson hat, and began to wring  it in her hands. "I've been....I'm bein' an awful ass, princess. I  don't....I just don't know what's wrong with me lately."

Cadence smiled, soft and patient. "...I do."

Princess Mi Amore Cadenza knew that she was often seen as redundant. An unnecessary addition to a perfect trio of alicorn princesses. Celestia herded the sun across the sky, Luna bathed the land in moonlight, and  Twilight preserved the harmony between the Sisters, between all ponies.  What use was a pretty pink princess of love?

Ha. If only they knew her true power.

Cadence could see through Applejack as easily as peering into glass. She could sense all the turbulent emotions whirling through the draft pony- doubt,  embarrassment, hurt, humility, confusion. But Cadence reached deeper, until she  found what she was looking for- a warm, golden, beautiful feeling, as  rich and filling as honey.

Storge. Love of a mother for her child.

Cadence could sense it, fierce and maternal, as hard and unwavering as an oak  tree......yet polluted by another feeling Cadence knew all too well.

"You're afraid." The crystal princess said simply. Applejack flinched.

Cadence  couldn't create love where there wasn't any, but she could amplify  existing love. And Applejack had such a deep reserve to draw from.  Lighting her horn almost imperceptibly, Cadence fanned the flames of  this love. There was an image in Applejack's mind- a tiny golden foal  with lavender curls. Applejack had built a wall in her heart to protect her child. With soft blue wisps of magic, Cadence chipped away at the  wall, coaxing out the release that was too long coming-

Applejack was silent for a long time. Then she drew a deep, shuddering breath, and began to cry.

Cadence was upon her at once, wrapping the earth pony in enormous lavender wings. "Shh," She soothed, "Shh, shh, Applejack, sweetheart, it's going to be okay-"

But the dam had broken, and Applejack wept like a child, knuckles against her eyes, choking on sorrow and shame and fear. "I c-can't-!" She cried out between sobs, "I can't- I-I....I-I hafta put on a brave face all the time....f-for the family's sake....but I've lost so much, princess."  She finally looked up at Cadence, her green eyes wide and streaming. "And I don't  know how much more I can bear! I lost my Ma and Pa, and G-Granny just last season.....I just can't.....I don't wanna lose my little boy too-" 

”Oh, Applejack.”  Cadence surged forward, looping her thin arms around Applejack in the  tightest hug she could manage. “You love so hard and so honestly, even  in the face of terrible loss. It's a quality I really admire about you.”  She squeezed the draft pony’s hand with her tiny one. “But I’m sure  you’ll find there’s nothing to be scared of. Your feelings are normal,  but I promise your child isn't going anywhere." 

”.....I  just don't know, Cadence." Applejack had produced a diesel-stained  handkerchief from somewhere, and was dabbing clumsily at her eyes, still  looking too lost for Cadence’s liking. "I.....I wish I could believe you, but I just don't know."

"Well, just think about it." Cadence tried. "Has she changed really? Besides just asking to be called a she?"

".....I  guess not." Applejack mumbled. "He's still my lil' sprout. Feisty and  fulla' trouble, with frogs in his pockets and dirt in his hair. He likes  to leaf through Rarity's dress catalogs and play with Apple Bloom's old  dollies, but he's always done that." She glanced at Cadence nervously.  "....Maybe I shoulda known. Do you think there's anything I could've  done to....." She trailed off, unwilling to finish. The words felt  wrong.

"To prevent your child being transgender?" Cadence finished gently. Applejack hung her head, ashamed of herself. 

Cadence continued.  "No more than you could prevent an apple seed from becoming an apple  tree. No matter how sure you were that it was a peach tree, or a pear,  or an oak....it can only be what it is."

".....Landsakes." Applejack sighed, rubbing at her neck. "I reckon I've been pretty small-minded, huh?"

"You're here, Applejack." Cadence reminded kindly. "You're willing to learn. That's the most important thing."

Applejack sat down with an oof, the ground quaking at the impact. She tugged a stalk of grass loose, then placed it between her teeth, chewing thoughtfully.

 "Was it.....hard for you, princess? Bein' the way ya are." She wavered. "Uh, if'n that's alright to ask, that is."

"I  don't mind, Applejack. I consider you a friend, after all." The  ever-present warmth in Cadence's voice faded, and she mulled over her  answer. ".....Yes." She said finally. "Yes, it was difficult. At least  in the beginning. I was an orphan. I had no friends, no family to turn  to. I had a name, but I didn't like it. It never felt like me. I was......lost, in more ways than one."

Applejack instinctively slid closer, bumping shoulders with the crystal princess.

"By some miracle, I was discovered by Celestia. And she became my family.  She was so warm and encouraging....and when I told her I was a girl, she  believed me." Cadence toyed with her hair, winding a curl around her  fingers. ".....She was the first. I can't tell you what that mean to me,  Applejack."

"Celestia's wisest in Equestria." Applejack nodded. "That's what Granny always said."

"I  think you'd change your tune if you saw what Tia's like after a couple  glasses of red wine." Cadence snickered, "But yes. Between her care and  guidance, and befriending Shining Armor, caring for Twilight, for little Spike.....building the first family I'd ever known- I came to understand  love." With a fond grin, Cadence hugged herself. "Including self-love."

"And ya became an alicorn." Applejack mused.

"More than that." Cadence beamed. "I became complete.  And as long as I'm confident in who I am, it doesn't matter what other  ponies think. I'm a trans mare, Applejack, and I'm proud. I'm a queen to my people, and  a mother to two beautiful fillies, and a wife to the handsomest,  goofiest stallion on the planet."

"Sounds like a hell of a happy ending." Applejack dared to smile now, nervous, hopeful.

"And your daughter  will have a happier one still." Cadence clasped both Applejack's hands,  nearly glowing with joy. "Because she'll have a mom like you."

"I....." Applejack's eyes welled up, at the same time she flushed red, embarrassed to be getting emotional twice. "Of course."

But  Cadence caught uncertainty in her tone, a lingering question.  Applejack's brow knit. "Will he...." Here she paused, grasping for the  right words. "She.....Will she want to get surgeries and spells an' such? In the future, I mean.” 

”That’s very possible.” Cadence nodded. “Ponies sometimes undergo medical  procedures so their outside appearance can better reflect how they feel  inside. There are a few specialists right here in Ponyville that can  discuss plans with you, if and when your daughter is ready."

”And...”  Applejack chewed her lip worriedly. “...Ponies might make fun of her,  right? School foals and the like. They might tease, or....”

”That’s also a possibility.” Cadence frowned. “That’s why it’s going to be so,  so important for you and Rarity to be supportive. Be willing to talk, listen, and grow with her. Be the rock she can stand on. Our world is full of kindness, Applejack, but sometimes ponies fear what they don’t  understand. Fear turns to hate, and they try to hurt those that are  different, be it through words, or.....through violence.”

”Try, huh?” Applejack’s jaw set, a thunderous scowl clouding her face. “I’ll snap em like a twig first.”

”I'm sure you would." Cadence chuckled. "I can't say I wouldn't do the same."

"Heh. Oh, would you,  your majesty?" Applejack turned to tease, "Here I thought a pretty pink  thing like you'd be too delicate to sully her royal hooves clobberin'  bullies."

"Who're you calling delicate?" Cadence huffed,  feigning great offense. "Haven't you heard of a little tyrant by the  name of Sombra? The Shadow King, Master of Fear? No? Maybe that's  because I blew him up."

"That you did, yer highness." Applejack snorted a laugh- a real laugh,  for the first time that afternoon. The tension finally bled out of her  shoulders, and she flopped back into the grass, sprawling out. "...Too  bad it didn't stick."

Cadence humphed, but it was betrayed by  her smile. ".....Did I answer all your questions? How do you feel?" She  scooched closer. "Nervous? Worried? Scared?"

"All of the above."  Applejack laughed, mighty shoulders shaking. "But underneath that....I  feel pretty good. For the first time since all this started, I feel  like maybe.....everything'll be okay. Know how I know?"