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"Remember kid, if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a bullet!"

Smoky approximately 2 seconds later

got asked about the relationship between Smokescreen and his uncle Pharynx. They're pretty okay with each other. Back when Smokescreen wanted to be a royal guard, Pharynx took him under his wing and trained him personally. Smoky was eventually recruited for espionage instead, but he never forgets his uncle's training....not for lack of trying, mind you. Pharynx's increasingly insane tests of endurance and survival are forever seared into Smoky's brain. Still, Smoky's fond of his uncle in a mostly exasperated way, while Pharynx is pretty happy to finally have a blood relative that isn't a total pacifist pushover. They still spar together sometimes.

Pharynx is definitely that one weird uncle, probably collects knives and such, probably smells like tobacco and motor oil. Outside of his royal guard armor, his wardrobe probably consists of 90% leather. He used to be a big fan of going around looking for trouble (bar fights, etc), but has chilled out as he's gotten older. He'd argue otherwise, but he's got a pretty big soft spot for his now-adult daughter Ocellus, regularly bringing her packed lunches and complaining she doesn't eat/sleep/dress warm enough.

stealth edit: tweaked pharynx's face

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Comments

Angsty Ram

Phoenix: Yo, you gotta introduce me to your uncle, Smokes. He looks like he could totally thrash it in a mosh pit ✨✨

lopoddity

Pharynx: *throwing wrenches at people in the mosh pit*

Robo87

Punk boyfriend and prissy boyfriend!! PUNK AND PRISSY! Later in their completely totally professional partnership, Blueblood will eventually coax his bodyguard into a frou-frou scented salted soothing bath straight from Pharnyx's nightmares.

Colbyr

Thorax, to this day, thinks that Smoke and Pharynx's 'boy days' were something innocent, like baseball or camping. Both boys let him think that.

Lory

Makes me think of the grandpa from Rugrats. "In my day, we kids had fun just throwing rocks at each other. Big bag o dirt clods, that's what the kids want!"

Nimbose

I’M HOWLING. LOVE IT. … Imagining this dude stood next to Bluey, even in uniform, is wonderful. What a pair.

lopoddity

Thorax plays a montage in his mind of Smoky and his uncle playing catch and grinning, under the summer sun- this is contrasted against the reality of Smoky and Pharynx playing "catch"....except the ball is a nest of murder hornets and Smoky is running for his life

lopoddity

*Blueblood is horrified as a week's worth of grime washes off Pharynx and stains his fancy bathtub*

Colbyr

Thorax: did ya catch everything, son? // Smoke, sweating and thinking about catching a wrench with his face: ....yEAH!!

cactus bastrop

appreciate the reference to dodgeball, one of the most foundational medias of our time

lopoddity

i cannot understate how much it and other early 2000s comedies my mom would rent from blockbusters shaped my current sense of humor. it's just so QUOTABLE "Allow me the pleasure of introducing you to Blade.....Lazer.......Blazer.....and Fran Stalinofskivitchdavitovichsky."

Gleeman and Artist

funny timing since I just saw dodgeball on tv the other day.

Doglover502

Realizing between this and Heather's comment that Blueblood and Vogue do have something in common they both probably don't realize; Falling in love with some hard-rock badass who almost always wears leather and has too many wrenches at their disposal

Luke

Human Pharnyx looks great in your style.

cactus bastrop

oh absolutely. dodgeball, zoolander, and talladega nights are inextricably woven into my neurons. necessary? is it NECESSARY to drink my own urine?

lopoddity

They’re both in denial about it too. Like father like daughter!

Bigsmile

Oh nooo!! Ocellus must have dodged soooo many wrenches in her lifetime 😬. I bet Smoky and Ocellus get along well considering they play straight man to Pharynx's nutty weirdo.

pookaWOODS

This makes me wonder about humanized Spike and Thorax.

lopoddity

Aw, Pharynx is incapable of throwing a wrench at Ocellus, she's delicate and bruises easily. One doesn't spend years applying bandaids and begrudgingly kissing booboos only to then nail said daughter in the face with a wrench. Smoky tho? It's open season Smoky and Ocellus get along great, she actually used to babysit him (and also Irie) sometimes when he was little. She was the first to really teach him to shapeshift, and they'd play a lot of changeling games involving disguise and trickery

Bigsmile

Glad to hear he had some restraint with his love of throwing wrenches at people 😁. As much fun as it is, there's a time and place.... Also, I like to imagine Pharynx just keeping a wrench on him at all times, just to keep Smoky on his toes 🔧☠

Bigsmile

"NO! But I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste!" God damnit I love Rip Torn!