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SECRET BASE BULLETIN BOARD /// SEPTEMBER 2024 UPDATE (Patreon)
Content
Hello hello! It's your friendly, Top Secret Base human resources team.
Sign-ups are OFFICIALLY live for three training sessions focused on how to kill time in a stuck elevator. We beginning the process of looking into when a good time to evaluate potential fixes in our efforts to find a solution that would allow for our elevators to be possibly inspected. From there a planning committee will be formed to mock up seven avenues for exploring an evaluation of future elevators. We've heard you and understand what we currently provide is unsustainable. We just got a really good deal from the decommissioned acid mine our current offerings came from. More to come in Q3 2026!
GHOST STORY TIME
As we approach October, please be on the lookout for spooks. This is their season to shine, may the treats outweigh the tricks in your life. But, I would like to discuss a very unique ghost story.
On September 28th, 1749, Arthur Davis was murdered in Scotland. Originally, suspects were imprisoned for the murder and life moved on. However, five years later new evidence popped up and a new trial was had for the suspects Duncan Terig and Alexander Bain Macdonald. Now, it's fair to ask what sort of evidence could pop up in five years and how well would it stack up given the fact that in 1749, forensic abilities were slightly lacking compared to today. Well, today we're so focused on fingerprints and blood spatter that we never consider taking into account the firsthand testimony from the actual murdered individuals.
This new trial happened thanks to a goddamn ghost.
The ghost of Arthur Davis showed up at the bedside of Alexander McPherson. I have no clue who McPherson is but he must have been pretty important and/or charming because his retelling of this visit served as important evidence in the case. Davis' ghost asked McPherson to follow him to a nearby hill. At that place, McPherson would find the ghost's bones which the ghost really wished would receive a proper burial.
McPherson, along with an acquaintance, followed the ghost's instructions and did in fact find a human body - one that had been mostly consumed. They elected not to bury it, probably didn't bring shovels/realized that's pretty gross to do so late at night with only the moon light. A few nights later, Davis' ghost returned and said "hey man, you promised you'd bury my bones! I don't want to be a ghost AND a skeleton! Please deposit my bones in the earth when you have a minute."
This is when McPherson realized he should be asking questions and not just following a ghost's command. "Who killed you?" he asked. Great question. The ghost told him it was Duncan Terig and Alex Macdonald. Satisfied with the answer, McPherson and his buddy now found the time to bury the bones.
When the court heard this account, the original prisoners were acquitted. The information that came from the ghost "threw an air of discredit" on the original proof that imprisoned these unnamed souls.
Unfotunately, those who were originally convicted were already dead, so the judge was like "eh, they were still totally guilty but we'll acquit them nonetheless."
I will assume the Scottish court systems have come a long way since then, but I also hope they have not. Ok, now let's talk about what we've been up to/are getting up to.
WHAT’S COMING UP AT TOP SECRET BASE???
NBA is coming back for another year. Congrats, NBA! We're getting in an NBA mood, plus World Series action and NFL as always. Here's what paid members of Patreon will get this month.
An episode of Pretty Good where Jon attempts to finally fix the New York Knicks
A Dorktown column all about Manny Ramirez. Get ready for juuuuust a couple of charts
A new episode of the Annex, focused on "Zero"
A Patreon exclusive video extension for Alex's new show "Scattered" (more on that below)
WHAT’S NEW ON PATREON (SEPTEMBER RELEASES)
Pretty Good, Episode 16: The Kadarius Toney Fan Club, Pt. 2
The pilot to a new series we're developing called "Reframe" (thank you all so much for the feedback, we're returning to the drawing board for the opening run. More on that below).
The Annex, Episode 5: HIGH. We discuss some things very on the nose for this theme, and some stuff that are much more out of left field.
WHAT’S NEW ON YOUTUBE
We've been pretty busy over there, so just in case you missed something...
Jon premiered parts two and three of REFORM! on YouTube, so carve out some time to catch up or rewatch if you missed that
Alex debuted his new series, "Scattered," where the first four episodes take on the lie that is NFL passer ratings. That's the link to episode 1, here's the link to episode 2, three and four will come out the next couple weeks!
Candace looked at the battle of the bigs, A'ja Wilson vs. Brittney Griner. One hell of a Rewinder
The other new YouTube thing that isn't out yet but will be at the very end of October is "Reframe." We're using the NBA season to launch the new series, so please keep an eye out for that on October 29th and let us know what you think. It's a show with plenty of room for evolution so want to get it feeling right.
That's all for today/this month. Hope you are doing well and if you're reading this from an elevator - we've notified your family! Or, we've put in the internal request for family notification to be enabled in the system and should have messaging authorized to begin scripting by EOW.
