Chapter 460: Unconventional Makeover

"By the way," Keldenar said, rummaging through his storage pouch. "How good is your disguise ability? Like, right now you look like a human kid, but could you also be a dwarf or an elf? Or change your apparent age?"

"Definitely no to the last one…" Vee grumbled. "Unfortunately, I just have to wait until I'm older. As for pretending to be a dwarf or an elf… Well, I can't say I've tried. I know Syl is helping me fudge the details a bit."

"I could easily change your profile to say you're an elf or dwarf, although you'd need to be a bit more rotund for the latter disguise."

"I don't know if that's possible considering I have two dimensional stomachs," Vee sighed.

"Two dimensional stomachs…" Keldenar groaned. "What purpose could you ever need for two stomachs, let alone two dimensional ones?"

"Eating, of course," Vee giggled.

Keldenar pinched the bridge of his nose in what I could only assume was some more mental damage. "It sounds worse than a plague of locusts just waiting to happen."

"Going back to the original question… If you can make your ears a bit pointy, I don't see why we couldn't pass you off as an elf," I replied.

"The trait has leveled up a bit since I got it… I might as well try to make my ears a bit pointy. Otherwise maybe there's some kind of cosmetic magic?"

"There is, but not in the way you suspect," Keldenar answered. "It involves lots of intentional breaking, and then quickly healing over the damage to try to make it stick. I can't say I recommend it."

"I wonder if I could do that by combining [Acid Slime] and [Heal Slime]..."

Vee quickly grabbed her ears as if trying to hide them. "You want to melt my ears?"

"Hey, if it doesn't work, we could just cut them off and use a regeneration elixir."

"Ignoring how horrific that sounds, you want to use a priceless potion to regrow ears?" Keldenar asked.

"I can sort of make them," I answered, then quickly added, "Within reason, of course! I need to make adequate preparations. I just happen to have a small surplus for some experiments."

"I mean, I should have seen it coming, but hearing it out loud just makes me think of how truly absurd you are," Keldenar said, abandoning his nose to rub at his temples.

"I know exactly what you mean!" Vee agreed.

Traitor!

"I don't want to hear that from either of you two," I said in a huff. One was a legendary golemancer, and the other was a legendary Arachne of an ultra-rare species. Both of them had their own cheats, just like me.

The pair laughed and then quickly apologized. Keldenar especially seemed eager to keep our relationship a positive one, and it was probably because of the newfound knowledge that I had access to regeneration elixirs.

I'll make sure to sell him one for a fortune… Hopefully before I open my dungeon.

"I can't seem to change my ears," Vee said after a while. "So maybe your cosmetic plan might be in order… Although, I can't exactly just turn off my pain like you can."

"I might have a solution for that…" I admitted and opened [Poison Slime].

I had gathered so many random poisons, venoms, or toxins from all sorts of random places that I was sure I had something to help numb the pain. I knew I had several to induce paralysis, but from what I understood, this wasn't exactly the same as blocking pain. However, it looked like I had grabbed something called conotoxin at some point, which appeared to have come from a sea snail.

I wonder if Sylvain got this for me? If so, I'll have to thank him.

I explained my idea to Vee, and she reluctantly agreed, after which I turned my finger into a needle and stabbed both her ears with the conotoxin. After Vee confirmed she couldn't feel anything, I tried my crazy idea of combining [Acid Slime] and [Heal Slime] together. As soon as I applied it, I noticed her ears had entered an almost semi-slime state, and I rapidly began my impromptu reconstruction. It certainly helped that I had a completed profile of the elves from [Consuming Osmosis], so I had perfectly working blueprints to make it happen.

Vee was shuddering as I kept working, while Keldenar's eyes kept widening. In no time, I fully reconstructed her ear, giving it a perfect elven appearance. I then gave it a hefty dose of [Heal Slime] to make sure nothing was still damaged, before combining [Heal Slime] and [Poison Slime] to make the antidote.

"Are your ears fine? No problems hearing?" I asked.

"I can hear perfectly fine. I almost think they are better than before, to be honest," Vee admitted. "Did you somehow upgrade my hearing?"

"I just copied what the elves had. If your hearing is suddenly better, then it might be a lucky coincidence," I replied and made a silver mirror out of [Metal Slime] and showed Vee the finished job.

"I love them!" Vee said, touching them with a big smile. "Thank you, Syl!"

"You're welcome? I'm surprised you'd be so happy over what's supposed to be a disguise."

"What girl hasn't dreamed of having elf ears?" Vee asked in return, still marveling at her reflection.

"Vee's right, back in our world the media loved them so much that they got applied to even non-elves," Keldenar explained. "Vampires, lamia, fairies, demons, nymphs, dryads… I'd pretty much say that humans have a fixation on pointed ears."

I raised my melted hands to him. "Do you want elf ears?"

Keldenar chuckled and shook his head. "No, I'm good. It looks better on girls."

"Well, unless you're a sexy vampire," Vee said.

"Hard pass on being a vampire," Keldenar quickly retorted.

I thought back to that failed vampire back on Glimmerock and nodded. Being a vampire did not seem like a good idea. Anyway, with Vee's ears now modified, I used [Identity Fabrication] to modify her race to elf.

"Bloody hell, I don't know how you did that, but you've managed to trick my [Eyes of Truth] again! I literally saw you change her ears, so I know she's not an elf, but I can't tell the difference according to my own damn ability."

Vee smirked. "Sounds like you should get a refund."

"Sadly, it's well past its warranty period…" Keldenar replied, chuckling along with Vee. "Still, I'm glad this solves any potential issues with her being human."

Vee raised her eyebrow. "It's suddenly bad to be a human?"

"There was a small possibility that the current ruler might've tried to kidnap you," Keldenar admitted. "And yes, I know what a foolish idea that would be. But, as I'm sure you're well aware, having a dimension affinity is exceedingly rare, and for a human girl with seemingly no family to be taken in by a random elf, well... You can imagine some people might see an issue with that."

"Well, I'm glad to dodge that bullet. Wouldn't want to get kidnapped."

"Or poisoned... With cake," I sighed, earning a confused glance from Keldenar.

With that detour over, Keldenar handed me a map of the area and pointed to the Capital. I tried scanning it with my own [Map], but it wasn't entirely sure about the exact details, and I was worried about using my [Coordicore] to calculate the coordinates. These things needed to be very precise, or you could end up in some fragmented dimension, or worse!

"I don't suppose you could give me a quest to go to the capital?"

"I'm assuming that will help? Okay. I can easily do that. Just hold your tag quickly," Keldenar replied and tossed it to me.

I grabbed it, and in no time at all I received a quest.

<Quest accepted: Escort Lord Keldenar to The Capital. Diamond rank.>

"Really, diamond rank?"

"It should probably be higher," he chuckled. "I'm a bit of a hated man with lots of enemies, and it's a long way to be escorted."

"But I can teleport."

"Yeah? But just because you can make it over there in a few minutes doesn't diminish the task being asked. You're being hired for the expertise required to make those few minutes possible."

"Turning a screw is one gold, knowing which screw to turn is a hundred gold," Vee chimed in.

"Exactly!" Keldenar exclaimed. "Although you probably didn't need to localize it."

"Syl is really bad with analogies."

"I am not. You and your Vee-isms are just sometimes too much."

Vee shrugged as she playfully flicked her pointed ears. "So, are we going to get going?"

"I'm ready whenever, since I assume you can bring us back here just as easily," Keldenar answered.

"Yeah, yeah, just give me a minute to calculate the coordinates. Wouldn't want to end up inside of a mountain."

I opened my [Map] again and was really thankful I'd asked for a quest, since the placeholder markings from importing the drawn map were way off course. I then picked a location well on the outskirts of the Capital and ordered my [Coordicore] to start calculating.

When I get a bit more time, I need to update it; it's still running on frameworks designed around [Dimension Magic] rather than [Dimensional Praxis]. I bet it could calculate coordinates faster then.

Thankfully it didn't take too long, and it spat out a set of working coordinates. However, instead of teleporting us directly there, I wanted to try my hand at making a portal, since I now had the experience and upgraded skill to do so. I tore open an aperture, then grabbed hold of it while reactivating [Spatial Erosion] and joining forces with my [Coordicore], but it didn't seem like the right way to go, since I was having very little success.

Wait… I should do it from the opposite end.

I coughed awkwardly as I closed the aperture and synced up with Nu. I sent over the coordinates and had Nu open an aperture from within the rift, then plug in the coordinates on that side. This time the reaction was much more stable, and almost instantly I saw a portal to our destination open from Nu's side. This time, I opened another aperture, overlaying my entrance to the rift with Nu's exit and creating a seamless bridge between the apertures.

"Damn, that's cool," Keldenar said, staring through the portal, clearly excited.

"I know that does look cool… Also, are you stealing my job now? I thought I was the portal girl?" Vee asked, feigning outrage.

"Yours are more permanent, though; this is just temporary. I figured it was better than just trying to blindly teleport there without seeing where we were stepping out to."

"So are you the one I should be talking to for teleporter trade routes?" Keldenar asked Vee.

"Nope, it's still the silly slime you need to deal with. Mine only works if I'm there to activate the webs, and there's no way I'm ever studying enchanting, so you won't catch me dead with one of those engraver thingies."

"I haven't forgotten about it; it's basically next on my to-do list. Although, would you prefer teleportation or spatial compression first?"

Keldenar looked excited for a moment before he went silent, a pained look on his face as he seemed to be struggling between the two options he was presented with. "I really want both… But I suppose personally I'd prefer a compressed space."

"I still plan on doing both," I reassured. "I just wanted to see where I should focus. Anyway, it's a good thing you said compression since that's what I think I'm most likely to make a breakthrough in."

"That's wonderful. Also, shouldn't we go? Isn't this draining your Mana?" Keldenar asked, pointing at the portal.

"Because I made it with apertures, it's almost free."

Vee frowned. "Wait, what about dimensional weight?"

"I honestly haven't noticed an issue when using the rift before… I don't see why it'd be a problem now."

"That… Doesn't seem right. Shit, damnit Syl, you're really making me want to get your class!"

"I'll pretend to understand what you're saying and head on through," Keldenar said before jumping through the portal, then turning back and giving us a goofy smile.

"Wow, what if your portal was fake? Talk about no sense of self-preservation…" Vee mumbled but followed after.

Well, I bet he could use his [Castling] ability as an emergency. Plus, I wouldn't be surprised if he had some lifesaving treasures or abilities to get him out of a pinch. Besides, it would be really stupid for me to attack the guy I want to help me.

I sighed and walked through the portal, arriving almost halfway across the world in a single step. My [Map] properly updated itself, filling in the rough estimations with the actual terrain around us. Seeing that we were on the other side, I closed the two apertures so nobody could sneak into Keld or follow us.

Keldenar stretched his back before a lifelike golem appeared at his side, wearing a full set of knightly armor. From the pressure it radiated, I could tell this was one of his strongest creations, and it looked extremely lifelike.

"I'm still working on his personality, but this is Galahad," Keldenar explained.

"Greetings, Lady Syl and Vee, it's a pleasure to meet you both," Galahad said, placing his right arm across his chest. "My Lord has told me many things about you; I thank you for supporting him in these trying times."

"Really… You named him Galahad?" Vee asked, rolling her eyes. "I bet you have Gawain and Lancelot waiting in the wings."

"I will neither confirm nor deny that," Keldenar replied, avoiding Vee's gaze.

"Nice to meet you, Galahad," I said, ignoring the other two. "I hope to have a good, long partnership with Lord Keldenar."

Galahad seemed relieved as he nodded with a smile.

"Don't you start calling me Lord now… Or should I start calling you by your titles?" Keldenar threatened.

"It'll be Queen Syl soon enough," Vee whispered, giggling to herself.

I shook my head, quickly agreeing to forgo titles. I said it only because of Galahad, but he seemed fine with me not using the titles since his master requested it.

We quickly found the road and began walking toward our destination, which was extremely visible in the distance. A massive city with walls higher than I'd ever seen before loomed on the horizon, topped by what I could only assume was the largest castle or palace I'd seen to date.

Well, I finally made it to the fabled Capital. I wonder if Dewi and Whitney are still here? I hope they are… I can then borrow Keldenar for my alibi.