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World's Unbound - Discussion (Patreon)

Published:
2018-10-17 17:00:16
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

So, what did you think? Were there any major inconsistencies? Pacing issues?

Was there a scene / series of scenes that you think need to be added? 

Was there a character you really enjoyed seeing introduced? Did you want more screen time for someone else? Or less? Did any the relationships // character developments surprise you? 

Any other comments? Questions?

My own thoughts - I struggled a bit with the plot. This was / is a hugely political book, with numerous people trying to and failing to get their way. I had the 'bad' guys planned out for the most part, until the Chinese in the end decided to suddenly decide to backstab. I think my subconscious mind had added them as potential bad guys even in the earliest first draft, but their additional betrayal required me to go back and edit more foreshadowing. It kind of surprised me, but my characters and stories do that to me quite often. 

Comments

Cameron C

I feel like I wanted more Ingrid. I miss her already. I think that this could be resolved in like another boon (5.5 or w/e) but she’s such a cool char. This book really reminded me of redeemer of the dead- it went smooth to where it ended up, on a shake up. Pacing wise I think that it might be worth adding some more Ali / John dialogue, because I felt like there was less of that this book (and love me some Ali). Maybe some more foreshadowing with the Fist. I’ll have to go back and reread to know if that was adequate foreshadowing. Maybe even adding the introduction of the “chosen one” char sooner?

Eric mats

I also like the book and the pacing but I feel it was really litrpg lite. I liked seeing loot and system options to buy cool stuff from the first couple books. After all the gaming elements and loot is what attracts us to Litrpg and I just feel like the story is getting more and more light on those aspects.

Han Pol

Well also missed a bit on the systems notes, and genrelly I think that you pace it a tad to fast. But then we would get nowhere if you flesh every little detail out. a few more details on the class or on the champion class would be nice. maybe seeing what Mikito or Lana got as extra skills, I'm not sure we got the same of her griffin. Even if I can understand that she doesn't want to introduce her friend to John. still would have liked a a few more dungeon dives or some action in Europa, or a bit more of a worldtour I mean when the boarder wall is still used, as a dungeon than the Berlin wall or some of the way more prominent European sites should have been made into dungeons or other notable points in the system. be it the Colosseum in Rome, The Neuschwanstein Castle in Germany the Chinese wall, some of the big museums or stadiums bit more about those would have been interesting. As well of a few more details about the champions of other regions.

Cameron C

I would agree it has gotten lighter. I greatly enjoy the time exploring his master class skill tree - and in the notes it indicates the final draft should have more of that information added.

Jon Svenson

I thought Lana and Mikito were diminished in book 6, almost like a setup for their disappearance in a future book. I understand this makes it for easier setup in book 7, but Lana as his love interest really softened John’s anger and gave us a slightly different perspective on his actions through her eyes. It doesn’t seem likely that Lana would follow John off planet in book 7 but it would have been nice to have a team with him as he explores the galaxy to discover the meaning of the system. If it is just John and Ali who leave isn’t that just a repeat of when John and Ali left for the Erethran challenge, only with a different goal? I still love the series just wanted to give some feedback

Tao Wong

Thank you for the comments. Lana is staying behind. Mikito is coming along (thought I mentioned her presence, but I'll double-check). Mikito was diminished for sure in this, partly because she has a lot more things to do and the entire 'politics' side isn't her thing. She and John and Ali will be exploring the GS together. :)

Tao Wong

Yeah, I do need to foreshadow the Chinese a bit more. That is in my notes. Interesting about John / Ali. I'll see what I can add to just have random conversations, maybe to expand the world a bit. And I will have to see if I can add a bit about Ingrid. I know I went back and added a little more in one scene, but I might need to see about one entirely for her. I do agree - she needs a little more screen time in this book.

Tao Wong

Interesting. I'll have to see about the Loot side, there really wasn't much for John to get this time around from what I recall, except a few big fight scenes. He spent most of his time talking. But thanks for the feedback for sure.

Tao Wong

Oh side question. Outside of loot, what else made you think it was 'light?" in terms of LitRPG? Just the lack of exposure to other people's options?

Tao Wong

Fair enough. The Champion will get more screen time in other books as will Mikito. But fair point about her griffin. Europe is mostly owned by the Movanna who aren't going to like John and the champions coming in, but I'll certainly consider the others. I do think I left the Champions in a weird 'let's introduce them, then drop them' stage. Might be fitting to add them to another scene with Ingrid and Mikito too....

Gio Dude

So I enjoyed it, but I'd describe the book as really abrupt. Given that it's a transition book (and four years have passed since we saw the crew last), it's understandable but still made a lot of plot points feel like they came out of nowhere. As an example, Lana transitioning out felt really odd given the nature of her/John's relationship and seemingly how much it had grown in importance in the previous books, and she came across as a more and more central character and now it feels like she's suddenly fading out of the main plot-line. I'd agree on adding more John/Ali dialogue, especially if it can help to provide more context on what happened over the last four years and give more context for the election and Galactic senate. last point (and may be more editing focused), but there were times where the scene transitioned and there hadn't really been any indication that the current one had ended. Now, I'm excited to see where they go on the galactic stage!

Tao Wong

Thanks for the comments. What you said certainly makes sense, especially for Lana. I'll need to play with that a bit, but I think a little more emphasis to give a feel for the amount of time that has passed would help.

Call0013

One thing that sticks out to me is that you have become a bit predictable when it comes to killing off a named character that is close to John at the end of what feels like every book.

Tao Wong

Really? Interesting. I can't recall who I killed in books 4 & 5 actually, at least in terms of 'main' characters.

Call0013

That why I said feels like, maybe its because of how Much Richards death stands out and effect the books that come after it. Just be careful to make sure that your readers don't start cutting themselves off emotionally from your character, because if readers feel like its pointless to get emotionally attached to your characters apart from the MC there deaths lose impact.