Ailana’s Journal — 2026-01-19 (Patreon)

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GOOD MORNING

Happy Monday, everyone. I hope your weekend gave you rest, some peace, and at least one moment that reminded you that life is still good. I’m wishing you a steady, productive week, with just enough joy sprinkled in to keep you smiling.

Today is starting off like a pretty typical week for us. I’ve got work to do, and Jason and Josh are doing final edits on a couple of St. Croix articles. That kind of work sounds simple until you’re on your fourth pass and still debating if one line feels too stiff. If you’ve ever rewritten the same sentence ten different ways, just know…I see you.

Speaking of Josh, he asked everyone to meet this afternoon to go over something. Of course, he didn’t say what it’s about. Only that it’s important. Jasmine immediately said she’d make snacks, because she’s basically everyone’s comfort person in human form, and Clay said he’d help, which is sweet and also very Clay.

Other than that, there isn’t a lot going on today. I’m going to go over my “ideas for Korea” list one more time and send it to Sasha—good plans don’t happen by accident. They happen because someone cared enough to review it one more time.

All right. Coffee first, then work.

I hope you have a good day, and I’ll check back in later.

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ROUTINE WORK

Honestly, I almost didn’t make this post. Nothing really to see, and not much to say. I think this post would be more interesting if YOU shared what YOU’RE doing right now!

I’m doing magic. I have ideas in my brain. I am converting those ideas into words. Then I’m converting those words into letters. Then I’m pushing buttons that cause those letters to become ones and zeros strung together in a computer file—which, by means of wizardry and mystery, are reconstructed into carefully positioned black pixels on a field of white pixels on the screen of my laptop.

Magic, like I said. How does that even work?

Edits are going well. The sci-fi writer says he’s got a scene for me to work on coming—maybe later this week. So, basically, if you’ve read any of my workday routine posts before, this is sort of a version of that.

But I am very, very happy you checked in. Honestly–and seriously—what ARE YOU DOING today? Let me know… I’d love to hear what you’ve got going on.

Thanks for reading this. I’ll be back later with news about Josh’s meeting, so see you then!

MIXED AGENDA by Jasmine Banks

This chapter contains only text by design.

It is EXCLUSIVE to Patreon.

Happy Monday, y’all. If you’re reading this at work, I hope your coffee is still warm and your boss is not asking for miracles before lunch.

So… I’m still thinking about Saturday.

When Josh first said we were going out on a boat, I thought… okay. Cute. Fun. A little sunshine. I was picturing something like a speedboat. Something you get on for an hour, take pictures, then go eat tacos.

What I did not picture was Savannah’s Charm.

I mean… when Josh said it was like a floating condo, I assumed he was exaggerating. Like people do. Like when somebody tells you their apartment is “small,” and then you show up and it’s basically a closet with a sink.

But he wasn’t exaggerating.

That thing is huge. It’s not a boat, it’s a lifestyle.

I don’t know what kind of mistake I would’ve had to make for me to fall overboard. I had to get up and go to a window just to see the ocean! You can stand inside and forget you’re on water. That is wild to me. It’s like… somebody built a house and then said, “Okay. Now let’s drive it into the sea.”

I had moments where I felt totally fine, and then moments where my brain snapped back into reality and went, Wait. This is the ocean.

I love the ocean. I do. I love the sound and the smell and the way it makes everything else feel small. But I still don’t play about it. I have too much respect for it to pretend I’m not scared.

Which brings me to something I don’t say out loud a lot: I really want to learn to swim.

I’ve been “learning to swim” in a slow-motion kind of way for years now—mostly meaning I can do enough not to embarrass myself in shallow water and I can float long enough to stop panicking.

Before I got hired with AGI, Micah took me to the beach one time and tried to help me practice a little. He was patient, too. That man is patient with me in ways I don’t even know I deserve. He didn’t make me feel dumb or behind. He just treated it like… okay, we’re doing this. No pressure.

And in St. Croix, Sasha and I spent some time working on it, too. She didn’t judge me. Not even once. She just kept giving me little tips like it was the most normal thing in the world.

I think I could get out of a pool if I fell in.

But the ocean is different.

In a pool, if you panic, the pool still stays the same size.

The ocean does not care about your panic.

So that’s on my goal list. Swim lessons. Real ones. Not the “hold onto the edge and hope” kind. The kind where you can relax and move your body and trust yourself.

Anyway, here I am now. It’s Monday.

Earlier this morning I did some work on my online nursing program. I’m proud of myself for staying consistent. Some days it’s easy because I’m motivated. Some days it’s hard because I’m tired. But I’m showing up, and that matters.

Now I’m putting snacks together for Josh’s meeting later.

Because yes…I am that person.

If there is a meeting, there will be snacks. If there are snacks, people will feel safe. And if people feel safe, they will talk. That is just facts.

And the truth is, I like the work. But to be fully honest, I like the people even more.

It’s funny how that happens. Some jobs pay okay, and the work is fine, but you dread going because of the energy in the room. It drains you.

AGI isn’t like that.

Even when things are stressful, I still feel… held. Seen. Like I’m not disposable.

And it makes me hopeful. Not the fake, motivational-poster kind. The real kind.

I do want to finish nursing school. I want to be the kind of nurse who knows what she’s doing, but also knows how to talk to people when they’re scared.

And yes—if I’m honest—I want to do more modeling, too.

I’m not saying that because I think I’m better than everybody else. I’m saying it because it feels like something I’m good at. Something that gives me confidence. Something that gives me money and freedom.

And I like the idea that I can build a life with more than one thing.

I don’t want to only survive. I want to live.

Micah supports all of it—AGI/SwimFit, nursing, modeling… he supports all of it.

He’s the kind of man who doesn’t get threatened when your dream gets bigger. He gets excited. Like he wants to see how far I can go, just because it makes him happy that I’m happy.

Sometimes I think about how different this is from what I grew up with.

I grew up in foster care. And I’ll be straight with y’all: the system works… and it doesn’t.

It works because kids don’t belong in dangerous homes. It doesn’t because it teaches you early that love is temporary. It teaches you that you might get moved because someone else got tired.

That you should keep your important stuff in one place because you never know when you’ll be packed up again.

It’s not all bad. Some homes were good to me. Some people really tried. But the overall vibe was always the same: Don’t get too comfortable.

So now… being comfortable feels like something I still have to learn.

But I’m learning.

I’m learning what it feels like to wake up and not feel afraid. I’m learning what it feels like to be surrounded by people who want you to win.

And honestly? I’m excited.

I don’t know what Josh is going to say at this meeting later, but it feels like something’s coming. Something important. Something that means more change.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned lately, it’s this: change is not always danger. Sometimes it's a blessing.

So… I’m going to keep showing up. Keep studying. Keep modeling when the opportunities come. Keep loving Micah the way he deserves. Keep saying yes… to the future.

Because for the first time in my life, I actually believe I have one.

Happy Monday.

PLANNING SOMETHING

’m sitting here in the AGI meeting area as Josh requested. Like I said, he wanted us all to meet for a few minutes.

Josh smiled and looked around calmly. “So, something has been in the works for a while. Geoni and I… Sasha and Clay, too… We’re coming up on our one-year wedding anniversary. I guess you know a lot of people start thinking about starting a family about now…”

Sasha broke in. “Geoni! Are you pregnant?”

Geoni shook her head. “No… are you?”

Sasha looked at Clay. “Not yet… Maybe we’ll try soon, though…”

Josh went on. “We’ve been working through something, and found out Friday we’ve cleared the first hurdle. Tell them, Geoni…”

“We’re approved to adopt.”

Josh smiled. “We can start interviewing and trying to match.”

“You’re getting a baby?” Jasmine asked.

Geoni shook her head. “We’re looking for a teen—not an infant—because babies get chosen. Teens don’t.”

Jasmine’s head dropped. “I know that’s right. You just move around until you age out at 18 with nothing.”

Geoni nodded. “Older kids aren’t difficult as people think. They’re really just hurt and overlooked. Well, Josh and I can’t ignore that. We want the kid nobody fights over—the one who needs a permanent place to land. Not a perfect kid. A real one. A home that won’t disappear.”

“Some kid’s about to get lucky,” Jasmine replied. “You can count on me to help out. I promise.”

“When does this happen?” Jason asked.

Josh answered. “As soon as we can get a match. Someone that fits, you know…”

They backtracked to the process they’d been working through, and then talked about their hopes. I watched Sasha’s face light up and relax. Like she knew how it would all work out and was at peace. I suppose we all felt like that.

I also felt a shift in the air, of sorts. The AGI group is changing. Jason and I are on our way to the altar. Sasha and Clay thinking about a baby. Josh and Geoni adopting.

Houses. Offices. A studio.

A lot has changed since I made my first post back in 2024. And the changes continue!

Be your best you!

GOOD NIGHT

I’m home, wrapped up for my post, and ready for bed. It has been a good day for me—and I hope it has also been good for you.

|| Read this and more on Patreon (link in bio). ||

If you missed the afternoon post, that was a big one! Josh and Geoni announced that they have been working on getting approved to adopt a child—and that it all went through. Now they will start looking for a child who matches well with them.

And they are looking for an older child, even a teen—a child generally passed over in favor of infants. It’s a brave and meaningful decision, all around.

In the midst of that, Sasha confirmed that she and Clay were thinking of starting a family. She said they might start trying soon.

I should add that, once things had circled through the discussion a few times, Clay asked Jasmine if she and Micah were thinking of having a child. As of now, definitely not!

After the meeting, I worked a bit more, then went down to Jason’s condo for dinner. He grilled some chicken breasts and steamed some veggies and rice.

There was a moment when I thought maybe that random Tuesday had arrived. There was a vibe—that’s all I can say. I think he pulled back a little, but he did touch on the two of us being married with a practical question.

“So… Us married…which condo do we live in?”

I teased. “You think we’ll live together? I was thinking of keeping separate homes.”

He rolled his eyes. “Well, I don’t have to climb two flights of stairs to get to mine.”

I smiled. “I don’t have to worry as much about storm surge if there’s a hurricane in mine.”

I don’t think he’d thought of that! We left the discussion open and cleaned up his kitchen.

So, now my day has ended and I’ll close this journal entry.

May you see clearly what course best meets your needs, and may following it bring you great joy.

Good night.

Be your best you!

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