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Little update (Patreon)

Published:
2025-01-16 20:44:59
Imported:
2026-06
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Thessair

I'm so sorry for all of the things beating down on you right now. I can't even imagine how challenging this time must be for you and your family. Take care of yourselves as well as you can. Your father sounds like an incredible man and I hope he is there for you and your family for many years to come. I wish nothing but the best for all of you and will send all the positive vibes and prayers your way for you and the baby, your Dad, and your Grandmother-in-law. ♥️ You're a light on the internet and, while I can't speak for anyone else, you take the time you need for yourself and your family. My support, at least, will still be here.

Richard Rolen

Wow, it's just all hitting you at once. Hang in there Mary. Much love to you and your family, and know that we are there for you always.

Tyler Foster

Wishing you well in these tough times, Mary. Here's hoping for the best.

David Lonewolf Wright

I am so sorry to hear how hard things have been for you and your family. I am glad you feel comfortable sharing these things with us, especially that sweet bit at the end about the secret with your grandma. We all need an outlet and I think a big chunk of your community here cares a lot and wishes the very best for you.

George Jewell

My thoughts will be with you and your family during this rough time, family is the most important thing right now, not us or YT. Please take care of yourself and the new little one coming. I will be here for as long as you need me.

Kevin Lyda

For what little it matters it's "medically induced coma." I think you watched Arrival. I read the short story as my mom was dying; I saw the movie after she passed. There's a message in that story that our time together is finite. We don't get forever; we get the journey. There are times that seems very, very unfair. But the message of the story and of your obstetrician is to embrace the journey. It's all we have. I've lost both my parents (I'm 53) and what I learned is you lose the people who know you best. You lose people who knew you before you knew you. You still have a journey with your dad. It's hard but embrace it. You're not a failure. There's nothing wrong with escaping - I read a lot when I was taking care of my mom. Film and stories help us to escape and process things. That will help you. I don't understand your business so I'll make no comment on your upload schedule. Whatever you do will be the right thing.

Chris Truex

I understand how trite the advice of "take a break" is. But if you feel like you must create content, make sure it's stuff you WANT to consume. Forget about polls or suggestions. Do things that make you feel good. In terms of grief or sadness, never worry about comparisons. Your pain is yours, and you don't need to justify it.

Nick Owens

"When sorrows come they come not as single spies but in battalions. " I hope your sorrows stop coming soon.

Mark D

Life's a piece of shit When you look at it Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true You'll see it's all a show Keep 'em laughin' as you go Just remember that the last laugh is on you And Always look on the bright side of life Always look on the right side of life

Amos T Fairchild

The last thing you need is more stress, so don't stress about us as well. I feel for what your dad is going through as I'm also a medically challenged granddad trying to hang around for the grandkids. I'm sure he doesn't want you stressing about it either but I know that is so hard.

Daryl

The relativity of your own sadness is about the hardest part, to listen to someone feel they have to say. That broke my heart, and yet reminded me of the boundless compassion we are capable of, even amidst our own hardest moments. What a fortunate group of family and friends to have you in their lives Mary. But I will say that's a tremendous amount of pressure to put on oneself. Even if I can appreciate where it comes from. Your heart is too pure Mary, and I wish I had the unrealistic power to make it feel a little lighter for you right now. 😔

RocktSurgeon

Arrival is a pretty incredible film, in part for how strongly I think it makes that message felt. In situations like this, I agree that not letting yourself feel like a failure is one of the strongest things to remember. It can be all too natural to go down that road, but it's not something you can control. And the "not a failure" includes how you deal with it emotionally. There's no guilt in looking for some escapes where you can find them to have some happiness since dwelling on what you don't know and can't control helps nothing. But also don't feel guilty about experiencing sadness just because the doctor told you to try to "be happy" in the uncertainty. The important part is to remember it's okay to try to feel better. And to remember to lean on the people in your life you trust.

Cody Steele

My heart goes out to you all. I've been right about where you are a couple of years ago. I was helping my father rebuild his house when he was complaining about some pain, so I convinced him to let me take him to the hospital: by the time we discovered his cancer, he was terminal; all of this happening while several other terrible family tragedies were persisting. I wish I could offer some advice on what helps, but what you're going through is so personal and we all process differently; just make some time to process. Focus on you first, I know, it sounds easy, but some days are going to be rougher than others, and if you need a day or a week or whatever, just take it, because there will be another one waiting for you after that. Sometimes it feels like life really punches down on the same people a lot, and I get that feeling, too. I am sorry that you're in such a rough patch. As far as following you, I'm not going anywhere for the time being, so if you need some time, I'm cool. It was very considerate of you to let us all know what you're going through. I appreciate it. I'm wishing all of you the best: you, your children, your father, your husband, Grandma, siblings, everyone. Stay strong. Go get a little rest, ok? 🙏❤️ Dang it, now I'm tearing up. See ya!

Tony Camas

Mary, I'm a recent addition to your Patreon community (joined for The Expanse, primarily), so I can't say I know you very much, but if I may just echo what everyone else here has said, I hope things get better for you and your loved ones, and I'll bet they do. While it's probably hard to believe right now, when things pile up like this, the cumulative effect can make everything seem more hopeless than it is. As cliche as it sounds, the best way to get through this, all of it, is to take it one step at a time. One thing you do not need right now is the added stress of feeling like you're letting everyone down, which you certainly are not. Your strong sense of responsibility, while certainly admirable, is probably doing you no favors here. To the extent that filming videos can distract you from the difficult things going on "IRL," you should absolutely do it. But don't let it become a chore. You can afford, for a short time, to be a little selfish here. Remember that you can't fulfill any of your responsibilities if you're not around to fulfill them, or even if you're so plagued by depression or guilt that you can't perform well. I know that sounds obvious, but it helps to remind yourself of it now and then. It's absolutely clear to me that you're a good and caring person. Although there are exceptions, in my experience, most people in the world are. Everyone here is with you. I'd put money on that. Give yourself a break and let things work themselves out. I know I'm not going anywhere, and neither, I'm sure, is anyone else.

fanofactionflicks

Sorry to hear about your family, I wish you all the best. One comment please don't take this the wrong way, it is right to feel grief for your family, there is no lvl of grief, it seemed wrong to me, when you tried to make excuses for your feelings by saying you know there are people going through a harder time than you. We're human and we're all saddened when we feel we may lose the ones we love.

Mikeebee

So very sorry Mary, wishing you and your entire family all my best. Take care of each other. We will be here.

Tom Evans

Yeah that's a lot. More than anyone should have to deal with all at once. And I know you know this, but c'mon it's so not a competition, you shouldn't feel bad in your sadness because of comparison to other people's situation. In fact those who have gone through something similar or worse just feel more sympathy to you because they know how it feels. I hope for the best possible outcomes in each of the many situations in your family, especially with the baby. ❤️ PS: I saw how messed up your screen was (proof that I watched your video to the end 😆)

Romero

You are so strong in dealing with all this Mary. Honestly, I don't know how you do it. We all know you're doing your best to stay relevant. But with this? It's not right, and I'm so sorry you're going through it. It's so undeserved. I wish I could take away this pain. Take it one day at a time Mary...I'm deeply thinking of you and your family and sending your family prayers for strength, healing, and peace. Please know that you are loved.

Nick Hillman

Im sorry to hear the news. I’m wishing you and your family all the best.

Skate Eight

Even if your children won't remember their grandfather, you can still give him beautiful memories of them before his passing, especially if he is fortunate enough to see number 2. Perhaps the best memory of all that he could depart with is the knowledge that two of his daughters both just gave birth to two precious grandchildren. (I think you said your sister recently gave birth) Our thoughts & prayers are with you, Marijke.

Kevin Lyda

That's right. You've started The Expanse. This exchange happens in book two. Sadly not on the show. I won't say who is speaking but it's a good description of grief. 'I still feel haunted,' she said. 'I thought it would go away. I thought if I faced it, it would all go away.' 'It doesn't go away. Ever. But you get better at it.' 'At what?' 'At being haunted'

Tony Williams

Awww Mary, so, so sorry you are going through such a tough time right now. Wish there was something I could do or say to ease your troubles, but just know, like so many others before me have said, that you are in my thoughts and I will be hoping for the best possible outcome for each and every one of the situations you're dealing with right now. Please don't let this channel become another point of stress. If it helps to take your mind off all the rotten stuff you're dealing with then that is a plus, but if it adds to even more BS then just take a break. I believe the VAST majority off your supporters will stand by you if you need to take some time off. I for one will definitely be here waiting regardless of how much time you may need to step away. Most everything I would say has already been said above, but I just wanted to echo all the positive comments and to thank you for being so open and doing such an amazing job on this channel. Been here for quite awhile and I sure as Hell ain't going anywhere. Much LOVE from Texas. You hang in there. Peace to you and all of your family.

David Blau

I'm sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. You are very sensitive and caring; you wouldn't hurt so much otherwise. I hope you have faith in yourself, because you are stronger than you think. My mother's father died from cancer when she was in her early 20s. I never knew him, he was always just a story that my mother and her siblings told from time to time. My own parents are now in their seventies and slowly declining, so I moved to be closer to them and spend more time with them while they are still (relatively) vital and happy. I hope to have children myself some day, and if they don't come before my parents die, I want to be able to tell them as many happy stories about their grandparents as I can. -------------------------------------------------- “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

Dave Becker

Mary, I am so sorry to hear all of this terrible news. My heart goes out to you, and I will be keeping you in my thoughts. Normally, that is all that I would say in circumstances like this, because anything more than that, either encouragement or advice, can easily come across as facile, insensitive or patronizing. But you seem so distraught that I will risk adding a word or two more. If anything that I say strikes a wrong note, please forgive me. First of all, you seem to almost feel guilty about sharing your grief. It is always true that, no matter what we are suffering, there is probably someone somewhere who is suffering more, but so what? What you are going through is still real and horrific, and you need not feel as if it you aren't entitled to your emotions. I admire your strength; I think that most people would simply be rendered almost catatonic by the circumstances that you are describing. Secondly, with regard to your own pregnancy and medical situation, as nerve wracking as it must be, perhaps one way to look at it is to remind yourself that every day that you get through, every day forward, is a victory, and brings you one step closer to safety for you and your unborn child. There apparently is a light at the end of this tunnel, and it is getting closer all the time. Thirdly, with respect to your father's situation, I obviously don't know the details, and I am sure that the quality of medical care that he is receiving is excellent, but there is something that might be worth looking into. I happen to live in New York, and in Manhattan we have one of the most renowned cancer care hospitals in the entire world (Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center). They specialize in cutting edge treatments for cases that other institutions cannot provide, and are widely known for their extensive clinical trials of new drugs and experimental protocols. They apparently have several such trials ongoing for advanced stage, metastatic prostate cancer. Moreover, they also seem to specialize in a new form of treatment known as Theranostics, which might be helpful. They accept International patients, and have a special contact desk for inquiries about such cases. Perhaps they might be worth contacting. Finally, I would urge you to try not to give in to despair. In spite of everything that is happening, you will pull through this. You have a supportive family, a loving husband, and, most importantly, a child (and hopefully another one soon) to give you meaning and purpose for a long and full life. And if, God forbid, your father succumbs to his illness, then you will also have the responsibility and privilege of being the conduit of his memory to your children. It will be through you that he is not forgotten, and become a living part of their inheritance. In my religion, we lay stones on the graves of our loved ones on the anniversaries of the deaths, to show that they are not forgotten, but live on in our memories. That will be your task, if it comes to that, and you will honor him by doing so.

Etta Eskridge

I wish I had words to make things better for you. You seem like a loving and sensitive person and I hope that things work out for you and your family. Dealing with these unplanned events is even harder when you are pregnant and dealing with the challenges there as well. I joined your patreon for The Expanse and I know it is just a TV show but it has also helped me through incredibly difficult times over the past several years, including the pandemic and the loss of both my mother and a beloved uncle who lived in a different country so it was very difficult to see him when travel was so restricted! It is both very healthy to share your grief, and to have your feelings as true and important. All of us face loss at one time or another. Reaching out to others is an important way to cope! Many of us are happy to be the receptacles of your feelings and grief. As Tony above says, take one day at a time, join us if you like, rest when you cannot and enjoy those tiny moments with your grandma. You will hold on to those for the rest of your life!