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I hate hate reading (Patreon)

Published:
2025-03-01 13:53:18
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

This month I talk about snobbery, hate reading, and what Mona Lisa Smile has to do with it. Also! A silly goofy St. Patrick’s Day anecdote, a fanfic publishing postmortem, and a quick update on my current reads.

Links to my stuff

Klara and the Sun: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT2uGYgh3/

Diss tracks: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT2uGhD2J/

Links to stuff I mention

ContraPoints on cringe: https://youtu.be/vRBsaJPkt2Q?si=o_Psm7ZMUv_VwHyF

Dan Olson (Folding Ideas) on Doug Walker’s “The Wall”: https://youtu.be/rokAtlFGa7Y?si=iUgrtnewOBeSFdxR

Big Joel on Click: https://youtu.be/ckmiO50anfg?si=j8DdxwfWa9B44_Di

Jenny Nicholson on The Vampire Diaries: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4AdFD3E2ok&t=6024s

Big Joel reviews every DCOM ever made: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otG7TGii2Xw&t=8504s

Shaun’s CinemaSins sins playlist: https://youtu.be/4ti3chBx2Pc?si=UR8rAwcy46Z5d5jN

Comments

Bailey

Being the first to comment (at least from what I can currently see) runs the risk of exposing how quickly I ran to this video when I saw you posted it. Regardless, good stuff as always! Thinking about what you have to say about the “classics girl” here - I’ve also given a lot of thought more recently about how I respond publicly to discourse, which is why I don’t do it much anymore. I understand the tension between wanting to publicly comment on a situation not for the algorithmic reward but out of good faith, because you hope to convince someone, and knowing that might still make it worse. It’s disturbing that videos like that serve a dual purpose even if that’s not our intent.

Bailey
>>166352385

Also, I’m always going to cheer for the raven cycle (fellow bluesy truther, sorry Ronan and Adam), but I also would trust your handling of the realm of the elderlings

Ella

After reading the fic where Alex gets shot that you recommend and being destroyed by it I don't know if I could survive one where Henry dies 😭 Absolutely still going to read it. One of the smallest fandoms I read fic in is the Temeraire series. It's small but has enough passionate writers that there's so much good quality fic. Have to say that I love a Laurence/Napoleon fic, they're either hilarious or super angsty. Also love rare pairs in the witcher fandom. Noviks Gertalt/Emhyr fics are some of the best I've read, especially when Emhyr is being a sneaky political master mind. If you ever wrote fics for these fandoms my dreams would come true. Would also love any captive prince work but God yeah I do not envy people trying to write Laurent 😂

Gardenofevils

Even thinking about my LJ makes me cringe! However, I did meet my partner on LJ (we were social media friends for 12 years and then met IRL and it was all over), and some of my closest friends are from LJ. While my journal is on full lock down, I still think about some of the larger things I wrote. Like my deep dive into voice acting and the hard pivot from trained voice actors to a stacked cast of big name actors, my silly fanfic crossing Harry Potter, X-Men. The essence of everything else makes me feel GRATEFUL that Al Gore's internet was so small back then. My takes when I was 19-25 don't and didn't deserve to be heard by anyone because I was a snob for no reason. My brain wasn't done developing yet and I was at the start of figuring out what my taste was. How on earth could I judge others for their taste when I didn't even know what I liked? All of this to say, your points on giving younger folks grace is so spot on. I see those TikToks and just see younger me in them. I can't be mad. We all thought what we had to say in our teens and 20's was the most important thing. The only difference between us is I had 30 friends on LJ and they just went viral on the wrong side of TikTok.

ali_cat

I wrote off the Captive Prince books initially because of some content like this but read them recently so I could go into your video essay fully- informed. They really hit for me and I'm so mad I didn't read them years ago. So thanks for that! Now I'm wondering what else I've missed over the years.

Jilly Panilly

-I luv Dilla 4ever -the yung livejournaler snob experience was so real, I went through it with folk punk because I’m from southern Indiana -I’m on my third pass of the Captive Prince books! Thank you for the video - it ruled -Come to the Locked Tomb fandom dog, it’s not even finished yet, you’ll go insane -I work at a comic shop & see a lot of people being VERY INTO what they’re into — how can you not want to dip your toe into everything or figure out why ppl like a thing that may be totally off putting to you? Do folks just not want to read everything ever? -I “hate read” ACOTAR & while I still don’t really like it overall I was sooo entertained by the experience & actually the 5th book rules somehow? A great journey through grief & trauma & recovery (Nesta hive stand up)

Rhys Tunley

One of my favorite fanfic scenes is the eagle of the ninth by rosemary sutcliff, its a surprisingly progressive children's novel from the 50s and also a kinda bad movie from 2010 starring Channing Tatum and Jamie Bell which has kinda given it one of those weird little like. Broadly sketched central dynamics that just breeds wonderful fic. One of my favorite fics from it is Chosen Man by sineala, its got such interesting things to say about Roman masculinity and the way the characters lie to themselves about what they want and is also just a really fun little adventure story in its own right

layla🎀

ohmg….another bluesy lover!!! if anyone has any good fics of them pls throw em my way!!! it’s hard for me to find cuz when i look for the ship on ao3 they’re always tagged as the second pair😭

layla🎀
>>166376970

also, have u ever read the all for the game series?? its a beautiful problematic self published m/m fake sports romance series….. and its got some amazing fics as well lol

Lauren
>>166358588

Omg, those Geralt/Emhyr fics are diabolical—one made me laugh so hard I cried

Michelle Lippold

I love Mona Lisa Smile!! Glad to see another person enjoys this movie—I feel like it was formative for my brain development as a teen and it made me love art more

Ella
>>166358588

My fav is the love potion one, Emhyr is so diabolically clever and now when I play the game I cheer for Nilfgaard 😂

KrustyFrank27

As a proud Pittsburgher, honestly, not having a huge Irish population in a city is fine. You’re truly not missing much. Also, it was warming up this week, and then immediately back to cold and snowing today! I’ve struggled a lot with my relationship to hate watching media. It’s like, I’ve built an audience based on hate-watching media; the name of my show literally starts with the word “Bad.” But I’ve learned over the course of doing the show how to approach things that I don’t like with care, grace, and nuance. I think it’s important to go into criticism of any piece of media with “what is this trying to do, and how well does it do it?” Because that will weed out a lot of “well, it’s just bad because I personally didn’t enjoy it.” Like, I love the movie Xanadu, and objectively I know that nothing in there adds up to a good movie. But damn do I enjoy it. There’s a bit of schafenfreude in critiquing art by someone who you don’t like, but it’s not fulfilling. I made two “trend-chasing” videos last year, and they did decently okay, but I didn’t enjoy the process, and I wouldn’t do it again. I got nothing out of it, and by gd, why would I put myself through that again? And yes, absolutely to the curation! I went from curating my own Spotify to the regular basic version where you can only use Shuffle, and it’s miles worse in every way! Back to my vinyl collection!

BitKingDT

This was a tweet format but ive changed it up kind of about my journey with snobbery 2008 at 15: my favorite movie is speed racer 2016 at 23: the last temptation of christ or eraserhead and im rehashing talking points from a podcaster 2025 at 32: my favorite movie is speed racer and i can explain why without shame I've done the same thing with comic books, video games, and everything under the sun and i think part of getting out of the snob phase is just getting older, touching grass and consuming more of the media. the last one is where i think people get stuck on because they get older and work and life stop them from consuming as much. Ironically my snobbery phase is why Filterworld kinda fell flat for me, at least in the second half because it reached a point where like "okay ive come to this conclusion on my own". but it got me back into Fantano to find some new music so that's something

alliwag

I just finished a reread of the Folk of the Air (still brilliant) and there's something about the "YA"-ness of the writing and the intensity of Jude's emotions that I both love and cringe at. My young teenage self feels seen and my adult self is embarrassed to have had those feelings. The Locked Tomb dragged me kicking and screaming back into fandom, so that's gotta be my vote. It's ripe for fic. I've done three reads and I'm already thinking about a fourth.

h

Excellent as always. I feel like this really captures what i love so much about those youtubers you mentioned. They are so so thorough and they probably make content about someone when they have something to say. Not find something to say cuz they want to make content. Also. Hear me out. I think you should consider GhostSoap fanfic. Yes, it’s Call of Duty. Yeaah lots of it is way too forgiving of military and modern imperialism and all of the shit that comes with popular war content. However. Some of the best fics I’ve ever read have been for this pairing. It is basically a vehicle for hurt/comfort and discussions of masculinity, gender, and sometimes ableism. My friend who’s into firstprince really liked some of the ones i sent her. ALSO, you don’t need to watch a tv show or even a movie. I’ve never played the video game or seen more than clips of game footage and you really don’t have to. I got into it from tiktok edits lol. Also also a surprising amount of it is trans and the fandom is full of freaks. (I can give always give some recs 😌)

Ella
>>166376970

Love that series to death. Only just found out about the new book and had to drop everything to binge read it. Love Jean so much 😭

Evie

I just want someone to write about Christopher and Barabas from the Kate Daniels universe...

emma

brilliant!! I think I started watching your content when I was around 21, and can I just say, you significantly expedited my journey across that shame gulf. I'd never come across a creator who handled such a wide range of content with the same careful analysis, who didn't separate works of art by worthiness of genuine consideration. it made me more bold in my conversations about the art I enjoyed in my real life, and continues to make me quicker to let go of any reticence i may have when I come across something that intrigues me (which is why I laughed out loud when you mentioned the check please -> hockey rpf pipeline, because if I'd clung to my shame a little harder, maybe I wouldn't be spending my money on hockey games now🤪)

layla🎀
>>166376970

yess omg!! i’m reading it rn it’s an emotional rollercoaster fr 😫love jean & jeremy sm

breigh

loved the fanfiction! was on vacation in nyc in january and a chapter posted when me and my friend were in an empty subway car headed to coney island so we got to celebrate and read it together while in transit my only recommendation for fanfiction communities is unfortunately television’s 9-1-1 on abc. my love of the show itself is definitely impacted by my fondness for american network procedurals BUT some of the best fiction i have ever read has been for that show ((also… what is ur controversial game of thrones ship))

pagemelt
>>166477715

(jon/sansa lol. but like... in a post-canon sense, so they're both solidly adults. during the gap between seasons 5 and 6 i saw a fan edit of them on tumblr set to hozier's "work song" and i fear it rotted my brain irrevocably)

pagemelt
>>166421668

interesting!! i know literally nothing about this video game or video games generally, and i mean literally NOTHING, BUT i do like war story-type stuff (in a critical way i guess??) and i love everything else you said sooooo

pagemelt
>>166410519

absolutely, there's something SO beautiful about how TFotA is so unapologetically written for young people—I was thinking about that when i reread the first book last year. and so many people have mentioned The Locked Tomb in here that i think i might have to finally read it

pagemelt
>>166409526

YESSS that is exactly the timeline for me too, i'm so glad this is a (relatively?) common experience. and i'm with you on filterworld's second half for SURE

pagemelt
>>166389475

fwiw i ABSOLUTELY lump your in the category of treating things with care, and your stuff never feels mean-spirited! like someone looking at the thumbnail might lump it in with "hate-watching", i guess, but there's clearly a lot of joy to be found in basking in the silliness of stuff that is OBJECTIVELY silly. like Grease 2 lmao

pagemelt
>>166376970

i have not read aftg, but i am familiar with the dedicated fandom!!! it's one of those series i'm a little scared to have an opinion on because everyone prefaces it with "i know it's not great BUTTTT". but knowing me that means i'll probably love it lol

BitKingDT
>>166409526

also if youre savvy with sailing the high seas, Severance is having a GREAT moment right now and i think is a great show that dovetails with your video about work. I can't remember if you had talked about it or not but also play the Stanley parable since its an inspiration for the show and only a 2 hour walking simulator. And if you do decide, DO NOT look up the director of the first episode if you havent heard and wait until the credits to see

pagemelt
>>166373425

The Locked Tomb is by far the most popular answer i'm getting! i've been putting off reading it because i can be kinda contrarian about universally beloved things, BUT i think the fervor's died down enough for me to enjoy it in peace now

pagemelt
>>166361755

LJ was truly SUCH a special place—you could make real friends there and at the same time just kinda shoot half-brained thoughts into the ether without having to worry about every possible bad faith interpretation. now you've really gotta pick one or the other

pagemelt
>>166358588

oooooh i read the first four Temeraire books but haven't really thought to check out the fic—I'll do that! and Novik is just such a great fic writer specifically—I'll have to check out that fic, even tho i know literally nothing about The Witcher

pagemelt
>>166352385

no risk!! only reward!! i love that you're here!! and yeah with discourse there are a million ways to slice it. i'm not totally convinced that everything would be better if everyone behaved like i did and just ignored it—maybe then the dingdongs would totally take over, like they have on threads. idk! i think at the end of the day you've gotta do what energizes you. maybe for some creators that truly is discourse stuff, assuming it's done in good faith. but for me it totally sapped by ability to think about anything else

pagemelt
>>166409526

Yessss this is absolutely on my list, happy to have your endorsement!! (And noted re: the director)

layla🎀
>>166376970

lol yah everyone does say that about the series but i think the reason we all still read it anyways is cuz we can’t deny how much passion and love the author has put into these books tbh, and they r very addictive 😌

alliwag
>>166410519

yesss, it's genuinely so good and full of mind-bending pepe silvia style insanity. tamsyn muir's craft is miles ahead of everything in sff recently.

Rome Parker

so happy to hear you got the fic writing bug!! posting fic is truly so cathartic and uniquely addictive in its sneaky way--it makes you want to do more so immediately and so aggressively! i havent read your fic yet, i only read half of RW&RB a few years ago so i wanna reread/finish it before i dive in. i'm sure it's excellent! i will say i've found writing for the raven cycle fandom to be so rewarding and the readers to be so attentive and kind and OMG i am also not a pyncher and find it so infinitely frustrating and isolating ahhhh its so nice to hear someone else express this opinion!! i am such an adam/gansey guy and i'll say people don't seem particularly averse to it! something unique i've noticed about capri fic is that i think the only way to go about it and be successful is to truly like. just commandeer pacat's entire style and writing habits which is definitely not everyone's cup of tea, but the best fics i've read there are pieces that could slot seamlessly into the original books. anything else throws the characters into strange light that makes them look different /neg, to your point about the impossibility of writing laurent. anyway thanks for the vid and happy march! that st. patrick's day story was so insane jfkndk it's always so surreal slipping into a group of people that lives in a different way than you. like. cult dysphoria or something. hope you're well! <3

pagemelt
>>166500038

omg I didn't even realize adam/gansey was an option because I haven't gotten deep enough to explore the rare pairs, but I kind of love that. and HARD agree about the best capri fic taking place in-universe and emulating Pacat's style. I'm not sure I could do it, but when it hits it HITS

Maia Kobabe
>>166410519

I am also a Locked Tomb enjoyer (the books and the fandom!) They are weird and dense and do NOT make things easy for a first time reader but boy do they reward a reread and a close textual analysis. I am eagerly awaiting the fourth book of the series and really really hope the author manages to stick the landing.

Sam
>>166410519

Seconding the Locked Tomb rec, even if you don’t end up writing fic for it, the fandom is one of the most engaged I’ve ever encountered, it is truly such a rich text and so fun to talk about!

Sam

Seeing the Bluesey hive come out of the woodwork in this comment section is so validating… there are dozens of us!

Sam

For me, deciding what media to write fic for comes down to finding that sweet spot where I love something as much as I feel betrayed by it in some way. The seed of a fic is always that combination of love and let down— not always in a “fix it” sense, but more in the way that some hostility toward the canon frees me from being beholden to it, and both the love and the disappointment reveal things to me that I am interested in enough to write about. And to your point about hate reads— this doesn’t work without the love!! I need to admit that I love something in order to write fic for it, and understand what I like about it, and often I must free myself from the shackles of cringe to do that. I’m not sure if this same metric works for everyone, but I know you have complicated feelings about RWRB so maybe that is what is drawing you to that fandom more than others.

Melvyn

Skramz is the new name for the type of screamo you describe

h
>>166421668

Ok quick (sorta, sorry) n dirty synopsis of GhostSoap. TLDR; Soap is big but Ghost is bigger and they are both traumatized babygirls Sergeant John “Soap” MacTavish is Scottish and a demolitions expert and sniper in SAS Taskforce 141. He has a mohawk and Ghost is the only person who calls him Johnny. He is outgoing, chatty, and usually likeable, often traumatized. Lieutenant Simon “Ghost” Riley is from Manchester and also a sniper for the 141 and just in general really good at everything/mega killing machine whatever. He went through some Real Bad Things and now is legally dead, has no family, and is super traumatized. He wears a skull mask/balaclava so basically no one ever sees his face, and barely anyone knows his name. The two meet in this campaign in the game where, in Mexico, they’re betrayed by their American allies (led by Graves and Shepherd), stuff happens, and then the gameplay section is Ghost instructing Soap over the radio while Soap goes to meet him. It’s very very flirty. A lot of fics use tons of dialogue from this campaign. This next bit is not really relevant but i do think it’s funny how I (and i think a lot of people) got into this ship. It’s 2022 and either the trailer or the first part of the new game comes out and, like, a couple women saw giant, skull-masked Ghost and called him sexy on twitter. Some men were butthurt, saying the women were objectifying this deeply traumatized man, they don’t understand him, etc. All they did though, was Barbara Streisand the whole thing until tons of people were making and enjoying cutesy, BabyGirl edits of Ghost. Then the game fully came out and the campaign with Ghost and Soap flirting at each other over near death experiences was on all those same people’s feeds. Also, a very popular fan artist was into them early on. However, i feel pretty confident in saying that the flirty dialogue in the game wouldve had very little impact if people weren’t already more aware than normal of some random CoD game. I know i would’t’ve. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMBJkmVp4/

h
>>166421668

Here are some mostly shorter classics as options: Thrown for a Loop - enter_fand0m_reference00 - Call of Duty (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own] https://archiveofourown.org/works/43616437 24k. M. I feel weird suggesting a time loop fic as a starter pack option, but imo it kinda fits perfectly as an adaptation of a video game. Also, you’ll learn every piece of dialogue referenced in all the fics and gives a good overview of the boys and some of the other characters. Second part is entirely the author’s own thing. Something to live for - Epifauna - Call of Duty (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own] https://archiveofourown.org/works/44670931 4.2k. T. Fluffy one-shot. There was only one bed. Gives a sense for the boys. Paths of Righteousness - MGCraig - Call of Duty (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own] https://archiveofourown.org/works/44604142 5.4k. E. I’m telling on myself here cuz I’m a sucker for bottom Ghost. But i think it’s also good character work. whispers of the damned - eggtimelads - Call of Duty (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own] https://archiveofourown.org/works/44414734 8.6k. M. Soap has self-esteem issues and nearly dies. No one is happy about it. A Hero's Death, for sure. - Sinbirdy - Call of Duty (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own] https://archiveofourown.org/works/45731167 2.3k. E. Soap eats middle-aged, non-op, trans Ghost out. That’s the fic. Forget My Words - thirteenbullets - Call of Duty (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own] https://archiveofourown.org/works/43418428 10k. M. This is the best work in the fandom, hands down. It’s just two broken men relying on each other with some serious nonsexual-intimacy. It’s a long series and not technically finished but each part is its own thing. I think this fic is worth reading in general, even if you don’t get into ghostsoap (though I’d suggest reading one or two different ones first and getting a sense for the vibe and characters and then reading this one, so you can fully appreciate it 😌)

pagemelt
>>166525338

YES, I'd never thought to put it quite this way, but this is my exact relationship to fic writing, you absolutely nailed it

J

fitz/fool

KC B
>>166465194

Another thinker I have come across who manages analysis without separating by worthiness is Hanif Abdurraqib, specifically in They Can’t Kill Us Until They Kill Us. Idk if you have read it, but it’s a great exploration of pop culture, music, and the way he ties everything together is just brilliant

pagemelt
>>166465194

Love love LOVE Hanif, and They Can't Kill Us is probably my absolute favorite of his

Arti

if you ever do dare to try 911 (proceed with caution), i can guarantee there’s an insane amount of what-if’s that lead to some amazing fic. i started watching and primarily shipped buddie, but am now a multishipper and write for various ships. also if you’re into witcher at all i highly recommend inexplicific’s Accidental Warlord AU, and her au of that au, Must Brave the Thorns. That’s a fic I constantly have open in my tabs no matter what else I have going on!

Lara

I can’t wait to rewatch this with my partner! I love video essays like HBomberguy’s Sherlock video and Contrapoints twilight video but my partner thinks this format is overly mean so I think your video will create great conversation for us! Although to give her credit she enjoyed the twilight one too, I think she thought sufficient care was given by Natalie

Ella
>>166358588

tbh I don't think you need to know much about the Witcher since it's set after the events of the game. The main thing is that Emhyr is Ciri's father but Geralt raised her as a Witcher and is basically her adoptive dad. Lots of fun co-parenting going on

anne c

I listened to your recommendation/directive to read RWRB before your fanfic and checked out from the library for explicitly that purpose! Your videos are so smart and I’m so excited to read your fiction! Also, for your fic ship recs, Inception Dream Husbands—I’ve only read smart, well-written fics in the ship and I feel like you’d enjoy writing it!

anne c
>>166746177

OK wait I’m seeing a lot of TLT in the comments and YES! it’s a fantastic series. I’ve never felt stupider reading something but the payoff is so. good. Have not read fic for it yet though so cannot weigh in there!

JJ

I'm a couple of days late, but I have an earnest pitch for the Good Omens fandom: - Lots of canon material to pull from between the book and the TV show, and I haven't run into any book and/or show "purists" - The characters have canonically been around since basically the beginning of time. We're talking centuries of queer longing. Millenia of mischief. Canonical friendships and/or beef with Oscar Wilde and also virtually every other historically important figure. So much to explore and build on! - The fandom is big enough that you can easily find a niche within it that works for you and in my experience it skews a little older - Great way to process religious trauma if you have it - Selfishly, I would love to read whatever your brain comes up with in the Good Omens universe (but also I'd probably read anything you wrote!)

pagemelt
>>166751146

I didn't super gel with the book when I tried it several years ago, BUT that was before the TV show, so I'd be down to give it a shot!! Thanks for the pitch 😀

Ella
>>166358588

It's called Misethere, had to give it a reread today

Kit

I'm so happy to hear that Dilla Time is affecting you as profoundly as it did me! I have such strong sensory memories of the time that I spent listening to that book, in large part because of how vivid and doting the writing is, but also because I experienced it at a time in my life where I seemed to be especially receptive to its subject matter. I remember starting it while riding on the light rail from the Seattle airport to the train station to catch a bus back to grad school in Vancouver and marveling at how much there is that I don't know about music and rhythm. I remember listening to the sections about Dilla's remarkable ability to root out beats where nobody else was looking while I wandered around an empty campus and admired the mountains on a brutally cold but bright winter's day, a rarity in Vancouver. And I especially remember listening while cleaning my apartment and having to drop everything I was doing and furiously rewind because Dan Charnas casually noted the name of Dilla's doctor in the early days of his illness--the father of one of my close high school friends. I used to go over to her house with a big group of friends to watch Game of Thrones in high school and her dad would watch with us. When my friend spent the summer working at a summer camp far away, we all still went over to watch with her dad because he was a part of our group. We delayed watching the Battle of the Bastards episode because he was away for an oncology conference. And here he was, somebody who I know and respect featured ever so briefly in a work of such beauty and profound importance. It's a special thing when the right books find us at the right times.

pagemelt
>>166864393

Oh my gosh what a beautiful connection! And I think it was actually your comment on Goodreads that made me want to read it immediately, so thank YOU for the wonderful rec.

LG

I love what you had to say about snobbery and developing your taste here! The cycle/interplay between the taste/snobbery discussion and the anti-intellectualism discussion is interesting - maybe that’s where this topic came from lol - and you’ve hit the nail on the head about treating source material with care and, is respect the right word? Just giving it a fair shot. I’m not sure I have enough brain juice left to make a more coherent comment than that 😂 Miscellaneous section is my jam, it’s fun to have a few minutes of your brain on shuffle! I too endorse TLT as rife with potential for you to engage. Off to go watch all the linked things now!

Claire

as always this felt like I ran into a very smart friend and we had a quick coffee together before parting ways to have our own adventures. acquiring Dilla Time ASAP, also Bluesey absolutely yes

Kit
>>166864393

I’m honored! Thanks for keeping criticism both generous and serious Mel.

Muireann McGlynn

I grew up in an extended family of major snobs, former head masters, matrons and the like. The kind of people that would pull over in the street if they saw incorrect grammar on a shop sign to complain. They would come out of every performance or movie dissecting everything from the singing to unironed clothes. The childhood joy I had in creating and engaging with art was very fleeting. I very quickly became hyper critical of my own artistic, writing or musical outputs. I found myself unable to progress any of them as I'd have liked to because I couldn't stand practicing my jumbled notes. I was very jealous of people I thought were naturally talented and oddly even more jealous of people I thought were untalented but uninhibited in their creative hobbies. Reading teen romance novels like Twilight was indulged in with a dose of shame. Everything that was supposed to entertain me was filtered through a very critical lens that made sincere connection with art quite difficult. I would happily write book reviews or debate stances but found short stories or poetry extremely cringy to work on. I'm trying to unlearn the deeply seated habit of bringing shame into my consumption and production of art. I think there's something so beautiful about people sharing creativity when they're still learning and "unskilled." Its so vulnerable, sincere and honest. I'm learning to make art out of a genuine love of creating and sharing with others, rather than something you share to improve other people's perception of you (or your parents). The worst written romance novel will have more value than the most popular YouTube video cynically bashing that novel for likes. Colleen Hoovers books have deeply moved people even if they're not to my taste.

Muireann McGlynn
>>167247391

The Jenny Nicholson Vampire Diaries video is a comfort rematch of mine, probably my favourite of hers. It inspired me to watch a season or two of the actual show. I think she really treats it with care and it reminds me of a similar phase of my life growing up watching Buffy with my friend

pagemelt
>>167247391

Oh gosh this is a lovely, LOVELY way to put it. "Colleen Hoover's books have deeply moved people even if they're not to my taste" is EXACTLY how I feel, and I'm so concerned by the moralizing aimed at people who DO enjoy her work, but that's a topic for another day (read: never, lol)

stummyhort

I have to recommend the Penumbra Podcast, specifically their Juno Steel series. It's a fiction audiodrama split across five seasons that's about 55hrs in its entirety. The format feels something like a tv limited series, just with no visuals. It's a sci-fi noir that follows a private eye as he grapples with the corruption in his world, his own demons, and a slippery homme fatale. It's got a lot in common with the Will Darling series, except it's in 💫space🪐. I have a soft spot for the show because it was the first unabashedly queer fiction I really got into. The whole production team is gay and/or trans, so nearly every character is queer, but it's so deeply normalized in the canon that the queerness is the least interesting thing about the show. It also just ended this past August after almost ten years, so it's finally fully bingeable! I really cannot recommend it enough.

pagemelt
>>167390118

Ooh I've never heard of this, but it sounds delightful! I'll look into it, thank you for the rec!! (I hear "Will Darling" and I go running)

Rachel Wigginton

Fwiw most of my very favorite fics have been rare pairs. For me personally, there is just more room there for a a skilled author to explore/expand. But, if folks are super into the lore of the fandom, that might not be as much their speed.