TouchDesigner Tutorial Series End ? + What is Next (Patreon)

The TouchDesigner Super Fast Series tutorials have come to an end. It has been an intense journey. Looking back, I can finally see what really matters for an artist.

A few months ago, while sitting in my studio staring distractedly at the ceiling, I wondered: what would happen if I published one TouchDesigner tutorial every day? Long-form content for YouTube; was it even possible, or would it even make sense? Did the community actually need this? These questions looped in my mind for weeks. The days passed, and I felt a growing urgency, a calling to try it, even without knowing where it would lead or how to do it. So, one day, after finishing my cup of hot cocoa, I decided. I would attempt to upload long tutorials at least once a day, skipping only weekends. Just a few days in, the frustration hit me hard. I felt the heavy weight of trying to turn inspiration into a factory line. This tension between pure craft and daily deadlines started to stifle my initial excitement.

It was very difficult to write a script every single day, and even harder to find the right method to record each video without losing focus. However, there was something much harder than those two things: the blank canvas of TouchDesigner. Creating something from scratch every day without stopping, without thinking, putting all my energy into not failing a single day. Surrounded by two screens, my keyboard, my lamp, and the walls of my studio, I wanted to quit just one week into the project. I couldn't find the purpose or the meaning, so I had to force it.

I told myself: I don't have to make the best project possible. I have to make projects that will eventually become an encyclopedia; something like a Wikipedia of TouchDesigner videos that will stay on YouTube forever. I convinced myself that being useful was more important than being unique. This mental shift allowed me to focus on the architecture of the tutorials rather than the soul of the work. It wasn't easy, and weeks later, burnout started to set in.

One afternoon, I was looking at the tree outside my window. It was almost bare, with the wind blowing hard. I saw the leaves detach and fall one by one. The poor naked tree stood there, enduring. I asked myself again: what is the purpose of this tree? It sustains itself; it hangs on. I realized that should be my focus: to sustain, to endure. It is strange: a goal that felt like an endless chore eventually taught me the most important lesson of the last two years.

I published so often and with such frequency that I recycled every network I had until I was empty. I was out of ideas and out of creativity, but I had a volume of responses that helped me understand every idea and every movement involved in editing and creating a video. My intuition was spent, leaving only the muscle memory of the software. I was working purely on autopilot, which is a dangerous place for a creator to stay for too long. Every precise detail of what I was doing put me in the best position to understand the next step of this journey. It eventually came down to one question, which for me became the most important thing: why does art move me so much? It seems like a simple question to answer, but it is so deep that, for now, I feel that walking toward the answer is the answer itself. When I decided to embark on this personal challenge of uploading so many videos, I realized I was moving away from my actual goals. Even so, if I hadn't started this journey, I never would have discovered that. I was searching for answers in productivity when I should have been looking for them in poetry. Even so, the exhaustion of the wrong path made the right path easier to recognize.

I walked with the conviction that this was what I had to do. Months later, I discovered that making tutorials with such urgency wasn't the smartest answer, because quality began to be sacrificed for volume, and the excitement of touching a network started to fade. But only because of this did I learn that what I truly want is to learn more, to go deeper, and to understand the details in history, creative influences, and the challenge of solving problems with a creative tint. As I was finishing my last sip of hot cocoa, I knew it. It is time to explore ideas with real depth. What I did during these two years was just the warm-up.

If you have read this far, then you already know that what comes next are videos with a clear purpose and energy. I want to return to creating more freely, without following trends and avoiding distractions. To me, there is nothing more beautiful than watching a tree grow slowly while its leaves fall and others grow. Now I begin a new stage where I will seek to push not only my videos to the limit, but also my philosophy as an artist, my beliefs, and my convictions.