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Nyx Fears: Apologies, Clarities, and Endings (Patreon)

Published:
2018-08-30 04:34:18
Imported:
2026-06

Content

 

The first apology I would like to make is that this has taken longer than I wanted since my announcement on Twitter Sunday night. I was not home and travel back took a lot of time, so getting into a position to properly write things out and do this correctly was not possible until now.

I have to answer for a lot of pain I’ve caused and hurt I’ve created. My behavior as a community leader and a friend has been contradictory to everything I’ve claimed to be in those roles and it’s time to take responsibility for all my wrongdoing and failings.

Before last week, I would have expressed that the truth is that Nyx Fears and I have not been friends since March of this year. Since May’s post last week, (https://nyxfears.tumblr.com/post/177380951130/a-very-bad-post) I’ve seen the reality: we have not been friends since I went to visit her in June of 2017, and it is absolutely my fault.

I know that Tumblr posts that are excruciatingly long can be very annoying, so I’ve set up my full writing on Medium for ease. Everything I have to say can be found here, and I want it seen. I have a lot to make up for and a lot of wounds to mend.

I’m sorry, and thank you: https://medium.com/@nicknocturne/nyx-fears-apologies-clarities-and-endings-1dce05db5ddb

Comments

Gray

I'm gonna tell you the same time I told you on Twitter, you've been nothing but warm and encouraging from where I'm sitting, and I'm sure plenty of your other fans and patreons feel the same way.

Gwendywook

I am proud of you for this post. Whether or not this stops the drama is not up to us anymore; you've said your piece, you were transparent, and you were sincere. We can only hope this entire debacle calms down quickly and efficiently. Love you sweetheart. ❤️

Lynette Ai

It takes a lot to not only apologize, but to understand why it was warranted. From what I've seen, I trust you to do better from now on :)

Tyrian

I appreciate your making this post, even if it doesn't affect me directly. It can be difficult and humbling to make an apology, especially in public. I've noticed how your demeanor has changed since day 1 of this Patreon, so this doesn't come as a huge surprise. But as someone who's been there before (albeit without the internet pseudo-stardom) I would really encourage you to see someone who can help you figure out *why* you've behaved this way, if you're not doing so already. It was the best thing I ever did for myself, because it enabled me to recognize either A) when I was about to make those mistakes, and to stop myself, or B) realize very quickly that I had misstepped, and C) how to truly apologize when that happened. As a long time fan who is thankful for all the content you've created over the years, I want to see you flourish, and I hope you can move on and grow from this.

Antonio Contreras

You're a responsible person Nick and hope things go well from here on out for all of you.