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Haha, so, this is extremely cringey stuff, but it's also my first serious drafting attempt. I guess this could be seen as a gestural sketch in that focuses on emotional impact and direction over draftsmanship or accuracy. Also: it's fucking horrible.

Some editing notes:

  • Bex has always been a character that represented hesitant sacrifice, but I didn't settle on exactly what that was until 2016 (this document is from 2013). In this early version she literally sacrificed her life (aging) but in this version, she was also pretty much a voice-only character, which I decided was a horrible idea after traveling down this story route a bit more. I didn't want the entire story to be about a dude saving a girl with a mystical black lady voice giving advice over the radio, which is where it was going. As a sort of internal nod to myself and my shitty ideas, I kept the radio voice elements in the final draft for Chapters 1 and 2, which culminates with Mike sending a distress call that is heard but unanswered. Sort of a little slap in the face to myself (and Mike, haha) as punishment for lazy writing in the first place. 
  • There used to be a Nigerian base, which I'd planned to be a brick-domed colony. Using Martian soil as a building material while excavating a crater to use as the base of the dome was a cool hab idea I read about and I thought it'd be a nice visual to drive up and over the edge of a crater to see the dome being constructed and portions of it covered with some temporary clear element, like looking in an ant-hive. But I didn't really have a great reason why the two communities would be separated, especially after doing more research into African space programs; right now the most viable option for countries that don't have access to a lot of capital or tech would be to rent a seat on a flight from a country like the US, China or India or whatever, which led to Bex having a slightly older and different model suit in the comic to acknowledge that she's really working hard to make it happen, compared to Mike who's got a lot more resources and is on his home team's base, so to speak. 
  • Kalla in this doc is not the same as Kalla in the comic, the character here was completely scrapped. She was turning more and more into an Angora-like main character, which is nice for The Meek but in a story like this I required something more somber. I like shark-friend Kalla much better.
  • Gobero is and has been a big influence on this story, which I will lay here as a dogwhistle for you to pick up on later if you like. I don't think I'll be literally expounding or explaining it in the comic but, there it is I guess.


I feel odd because we're in a semi-humorous bubble in the story right now (thanks Levi) but we're headed outside soon, once I get my mental shit together. I have another post about the organic robots but I'll keep the spam level down for now and save that for tomorrow~

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Comments

dzefs

Ahhh I love this it's so cool to see what you started with and where you are! Are you pretty confident that you know how MI is going to unfold from here on out, or do you think it's going to continue to evolve?

Der-shing Helmer

Yeah, most of the major plot points are already in place, though there's a blank spot in chapter... 4... lol that I am still trying to decide on. A lot of the visuals are fixed or are floating randomly in the ether waiting to be pulled in. Chapter 4 is sort of pivotal and has a lot going on so tbh a lot of the time I'm not posting comics I'm trying to jam all my puzzle pieces together in a nicer orientation than the one I'm currently working with... that's the same method I've been using with Chapters 1-3 though so, lol, hopefully it works out one more time.

dzefs

Good luck! I hope everything works out well for the Terrible Bad Day On Mars Club (with special guest star Threvi). I, uh, meant to also ask if the "quotes" section of your document was character quotes, or just like theme quotes for them or something. Like theme songs to keep in mind when writing for them, but quotes. I'm curious! I;m sorry.

Rengin Tumer

I'm in this process right now, describing my characters and story and throwing away characters because they don't work for the story I want to tell. It's so nice to see how you write this down for yourself, since it seems very clear even though you weren't happy with the story at this point! (Especially since I've gotten a lot of confused looks and questions on my drafts from people who read it - I'm either too concise or too elaborate.) Great to read your approach :)

Joie Foster

Oh thanks for sharing this! I really enjoy seeing what other creators think of as "cringey" because more often than not I'm still impressed and can learn something from it!

Lilian Stoltzfus

Writing is hard work. It can be difficult to parse useful tropes from stupid cliches. Thanks for sharing some of your early process with us!