Tanya & Elora: Queen's Gambit (Part 1) (Patreon)

Hey folks!

Okay, can't say much about current events at the moment - if I've timed everything right and all has gone well, then I should be off on a trip at the moment! I'll be out of the office (and away from being able to post here) for a week or so... But don't worry, I've scheduled your weekly story in advance!

So, this week we return to the world of Tanya and Elora, and we're revisiting a past character who has a bit of a problem to deal with. It may take some time to resolve, but fear not! This is just the first episode in a new multi-chapter tale, so I'm sure they'll work something out eventually...

Enjoy!

The Royal Palace was, by almost all accounts, the safest building in the kingdom. Few places could compete. Dragon Lairs hidden behind the sound of a ribbiting frog on the top of the world’s tallest mountain were less secure, wards sealed with the joint union of the forces of the underworld and the heaven’s strongest powers offered less protection.

Part of the reason for that security was the fact that most people would have to be insane to attack the residence of one of the most powerful and successful heroes in the past five centuries, King Rupert Wendle the Third. Another reason would be that someone would have to be stark raving mad to attack the residence of one of the most powerful Dark Lords the continent had ever seen, Queen Alura the Enchantress.

But another reason… perhaps a less significant one than the above, but still notable! … Was the strict efficiency of the Palace’s Royal Guards.

These men and women were, after all, the elite of the elite. Powerful soldiers all, clad in armour made by artisan smiths and wrapped in the strongest enchantments sorcerers could construct. Their weapons, when unsheathed, were threats to even legendary monsters, and that was without even considering the incredible skill with which they were wielded. They were a respectable force in their own right, and people forgot them at their own folly.

At this moment, a pair of such guards were marching through the halls of the Palace, conducting one of their common patrols. They were, as must be expected of such highly placed guardians, professional and precise.

Indeed, precise was perhaps too perfect a word for them.

They moved together, walking in lockstep as they marched down the west hallway on the second floor. Reaching a door, one immediately turned to watch the corridor up and down, while the other produced a key for the lock and then twisted the handle. Vigilance and efficiency in joint package.

Upon entering the room beyond, both women looked around, moving in almost robotic patterns. They were hard to tell apart, since they were, in every way that mattered, identical. They had the same cold, yet elegant faces, their silver hair cut in the same efficient page-boy like style. Their uniforms were tight white pants and even tighter white undershirts, squeezed around identically large bosoms and wrapped in emerald green jackets bearing the insignia of the royal family. Swords rested on their hips, sheathed but clearly ready for a fight at a moment’s notice. And the intensity in their eyes was equally identical. Yes, any observer would certainly get the feeling of an intense inspection being carried out.

[Reporting From Third Floor Western Bedroom. No Issues.]

[Confirmed.] [Proceed To Next Inspection Point.]

No voice was heard at any point, the words simply carried out of their heads, and then echoing back. None the less, the pair nodded, striding back out into the hall, one of them locking the doors while once again the other kept watch. Only once they were certain that the room was secure did they continue on down the corridor.

Because that was the other thing about the Royal Guard – a fact that they tended not to advertise. The job came with a very powerful oath, non-optional to those who accepted the position. The secret of the Royal Guard’s efficiency and precision was no mere training. It was the result of a secret technique that had been used by the Palace for generations in order to produce the finest soldiers to protect the royal family.

For as it was, the Royal Guard did not have names, nor numbers, nor any kind of personal identity at all. Instead, they were joined together in a collective, a hive-mind of a sort, where each separate body acted more as an extension of the greater whole than as an individual. No, their individuality replaced by duty, their personal traits devoted to the whole. They were, to a man, fastidious and devoted to their mission – because the ability to be otherwise had been hollowed out of them.

It was a heavy burden to bear. But it came with pretty good benefits, and incredible pay, so most members didn’t complain about it whenever they came up for air, which tended to only happen every other year or so until retirement.

Thus, with but a few telepathic broadcasts, the two guards, who both bore no name and no real awareness of themselves as people, had informed the rest of the order of the safety of this part of the castle. And now that they had done so, they were headed on their way to repeat the process in the next point of their patrol.

Or at least, that was the plan, right up until they turned a corner, and found Queen Alura standing in front of them, her palm raised.

“Report nothing, and follow me,” she commanded, looking directly at each of them, before opening a door and stepping into one of the empty private studies that were so common in this wing of the Palace.

Naturally, no Royal Guard could refuse a direct order from the Queen herself, and neither had any desire to do so – nor any desires at all, in truth. With a nod, the pair walked into the study behind her, with no indication of any strangeness given to the central authority which they typically obeyed without thinking.

“Good,” Alura nodded, closing the door and sealing it with a snap of her fingers, casting a powerful enchantment over the room that would prevent anyone else from being able to listen in on them from outside, even with magic. “Let’s get this done quickly, before anyone notices that you’re missing.

The Queen was a beautiful woman, even if she was no longer as young as she had once been, back in her Dark Lord days. Long, flowing sea-green hair settled around her shoulders in neat wavy patterns, as ever bound by emerald clasps. Today’s dress was as regal as ever, this one a shade of turquoise that hugged her trim and attractive figure, with a high and slightly pointed collar. A fashion expert might have said that the look was a deliberate attempt to remind people of her sinister past, but if asked about such things, she doubtless would have just laughed the question off.

After all, if she wanted to remind people of how terrifying she was, she only had to use a little magic…

“Return… Ahem, excuse me…” She rubbed at her throat. “Ahh, it’s so easy to get out of practice, isn’t it? Harmonics, you know. They’re so important, and I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had time to do my exercises. Anyway, return to your true selves, please.”

The two guards blinked – and then the world lost focus, momentarily descending into a fluid state, where reality was soft and malleable. Concepts seemed to leak into one another, flowing like wet watercolours in a half-finished painting. And the two women in front of the queen blurred, their identities and histories peeling away from them as if some cosmic artist had just smeared them with turpentine on the canvas, wiping their current existence away to reveal what had lain hidden beneath.

A moment later, everything snapped back into focus. Reality solidified. The white and green uniforms of the Royal Guards had vanished, revealing a blonde Paladin, now clad in plate armour, and a redheaded elf in the robes of a Sorceress. The pair fell to their knees, gasping for breath, the last dregs of those other lives still flecking away from them, glittering in the air as they faded out.

It was Tanya, the Paladin, who recovered first, having always had the stronger constitution of the duo, no matter what her elven companion might have said about her drinking escapades. “Your… Your Majesty,” she muttered, putting a hand to her brow and taking a deep breath as she rose to her feet, her armour now considerably less elegant but far more practical than a Royal Guard’s. “That was…”

“Awful!” Elora spat, airing out her tongue like she’d just been forced to eat something distasteful. “Ugh, awful. Awful awful awful. Those girls had no sense of style! All ‘duty’ this and ‘reporting’ that. Bleh.”

“El.” The blonde nudged her friend in the side with her elbow. “Manners. This is the Queen, not one of your tavern friends.”

“Well if she wanted me to be polite, she should have-Mmph.”

A gauntlet wearing hand had pressed itself over her mouth, and its owner, Tanya, was giving their host a nervous smile. “Apologies for her, your Majesty.”

“No, no, it’s quite understandable,” Alura said with a shake of her head and a rueful smile. “Forgive me for asking you to endure those identities, but the task at hand requires no half-measures.”

Hm. The two Adventurers looked at one another. That did bring up a rather important question, actually.

“Actually, your Majesty,” Tanya beat her friend to the question – mainly because she was still covering her mouth. “if I might ask – what is the task at hand, exactly?”

“Oh.” The Queen blinked. “Did I not explain? Ah, of course I didn’t, silly me.” She covered a giggle with the back of her hand. “So sorry, girls, I was in a hurry. I didn’t want anyone else to suspect that I’d called in outside agents.”

Outside agents? “Didn’t really feel like that was what we were doing…”

Tanya nodded at her friend’s words. That was hard to argue. When the royal summons had found the Adventuring duo, the two of them had hurried to meet with the woman at a secret rendezvous at a stable far from the castle. It wasn’t the first time they’d been hired by Alura for missions that couldn’t be handled by her own staff, so it hadn’t seemed that out of the ordinary at the time. Indeed, El kept saying that the Queen was ‘way too fond’ of the Paladin, and that was why she kept hiring them…

When they’d met, the Queen had thanked them for their speed, and asked for their assistance dealing with ‘a threat to the heart of the kingdom’. There had been an obvious lack of detail at the time, but, given that this was a serious matter, undoubtably top secret, neither Adventurer had much minded, and they had both agreed.

Okay, actually, Elora had minded quite a lot, but she’d put up with it because she was an Alura fangirl at heart.

After thanking them, the Queen had then immediately used her enchantments to turn the pair into Royal Guardswomen, erasing their memories of their former selves completely, and set them to guard the palace. That had been three days ago. This was the first time they had been themselves since.

It had been rather… intense.

Alura herself seemed rather understanding of the fact. “I’ll explain – but first, just to avoid poisoning the well, allow me to ask you this: have either of you seen anything suspicious in your time in the palace?”

Tanya paused, thinking – so El easily beat her to the punch. “Nope. Nothing. It was boring.” The Sorceress folded her arms, grumbling. “Those guards are dull.”

“I mean… They’re dedicated to their duty,” Tay tried to put it diplomatically.

She really should have known better.

“No! They’re just dull. They’ve got nothing going on in their heads except shift rotas! This is one of the prettiest buildings in the kingdom, filled with works of art, powerful magics, riches beyond galore – and they just march around all day not paying attention to any of it. Duuullllll!”

The Paladin sighed. Fortunately, the Queen was giggling at Elora’s little rant. “Alas, they can be a little… focused,” she said. “Very old magic they’re using, I try not to tinker with it, people are very attached to those silver soldiers.”

Well at least she seemed to understand. Tanya nodded, tuning her thoughts back to the question she’d been asked. She and Elora had been together for practically all of their time as guards, so there wasn’t much that one would have seen that the other didn’t. And, just as the elf had said, nothing had stood out to her.

“I’m afraid that can’t say that I noticed anything either, your Majesty. Everything seemed normal.”

Alura nodded, frowning. “I expected as much. Very well. What we are about to discuss is a matter of complete secrecy, girls. I’ll thank you not to speak of it to anyone besides me.”

“Of course, your Majesty.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”

That earned El another glare from Tay, but the Queen nodded, a grateful smile on her face. “Thank you, dears. Though, just to be safe – You are not to talk about this with anyone other than myself, understand?”

“Yes my Queen.” Both Adventurers spoke together, their voices in monotone. Neither noticed this behaviour as strange.

“Good. Now, listen closely.” The green haired woman folded her arms behind her back, starting to pace as she explained the reasons for her conduct. “Over the past few months, I have become aware of a plot in the palace to undermine the authority of the King and myself. Small things, at first. Soldiers forgetting minor orders. Servants mislaying requested documents. Chefs cooking the wrong orders. But it soon began to escalate.”

As she spoke, El had taken a seat on top of one of the desks in the room – actual chairs were clearly beneath her – and was nodding along, her disgust at her recent transformation fading into her usual star-struck fascination with Alura. The other woman was one of the most powerful spell casters of her generation, and it was pretty obvious how much the Sorceress admired her.

Tanya’s relationship with the Queen was a different kind of animal. While she respected the woman, and of course considered her a figure of authority that she would obey (unless given good reason not to), the green haired royal’s past was never far from the Paladin’s thoughts when the two met. Alura the Enchantress had been a scourge, one of the most dangerous Dark Lords in centuries – and though she claimed to have changed her ways, did such stains ever truly wash out of a woman’s character? You couldn’t just indulge your worst self for years and then say that you’d gotten it all out of your system, surely.

It was a struggle, especially since the Queen had never been anything but graceful and kind in Tanya’s presence. There was, clearly, good in her – good that King Wendel had seen in his hero days, and managed to bring to the fore. But that evil was surely still in there too. What would it take to bring that back out instead?

But now wasn’t the time for questions like that. She could dwell on them later, after the explanations had finished.

Alura had paused in her pacing, raising a hand and counting off her fingers. “Three weeks ago, the Chancellor of Technology and Development, an old battleaxe of a gnome who could argue the entire guide of engineers into submission, was found blonde and human in her chambers, now in her early twenties and without a single brain in her head.” One finger down. “Two weeks ago, I received reports that Lady Darrowmere, one of my best negotiators, had lost all interest in negotiating a new treaty with the Beshovi in the north, and that instead she has been spending every day partying, taking a new partner in her bed each night.” Two fingers down. “Last week the court entertainer transformed from a jester into a burlesque show mid-performance. Several members of the audience were compelled to join her on stage, already growing quite exceptional chests of their own, before I could put an end to the enchantment.”

Elora blinked, her jaw dropping. “Wait, wait, someone managed an enchantment that the Enchantress herself struggled with? That’s incredi- Uh. I mean… Um.”

Tanya winced. Oh, now El felt embarrassed over something she’d said out loud? Now? Years of snubbing dignitaries, humiliating nobles, and putting her foot in her mouth to every non-elf in the kingdom, and she only noticed when she was praising an unknown enemy to the Queen, to her face.

She couldn’t take this woman anywhere.

Fortunately, as always, the Queen seemed to take it in good stride. “Incredible! Yes, isn’t it? Ah, in my younger days I would have been thrilled to take such a promising spellcaster as my apprentice. Oh, the things I could teach them. They had some very interesting ideas on how to thread a magical weave…” She smiled, then sighed. “But alas, I am not a Dark Lord anymore.”

The Paladin tried not to twitch. Alas?

“And the truth of the matter is that someone has been turning the members of my court into dumb, busty sluts!” Alura resumed her pacing, waving an arm in frustration. “Yes, I would find that cute if I wasn’t trying to get so much work done, but I am. And it’s hard to set a fair tax policy when your head economist can’t remember how to perform basic math.”

The Adventurers shared another look. Elora, Tanya was pained to see, was looking more and more interested in this brewing scandal by the second, while she herself was getting far too many mixed messages to know what to do with. Why did this have to involve them, again?

The Queen finally turned to face the pair, her hands clasped in front of her chest. “My fear is that this is all the work of another Dark Lord – one who sees me as a rival, or perhaps simply as a status symbol. I was quite a go-getter when I was younger, you know…”

El nodded eagerly. Tay tried not to groan. Yes, they were all well aware.

“And now that I’m a good girl – mostly…” She winked. “Any up-and-coming Dark Lord looking to make a name for themselves might well see me as an easy target to boost their reputations.” Her eyes darkened, and for a moment the Paladin suspected she got a glimpse of her old self. “They’re wrong about that, but young Dark Lords tend to be stupid. So obviously, this issue needs to be nipped in the bud before they do something truly reckless that endangers my family and my kingdom.”

In many respects, the Paladin was rather grateful that the kingdom was included there. Alura did tend to put her husband and her daughter above everything else. Natural for a mother, sure, but still rather blatant.

“Is that why you summoned us?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. They were Adventurers, sure, but tracking down Dark Lords usually took more than two people.

“Well, when I became aware of the problem, I assigned my spymistress to look into it. She disappeared the next day. It took me a month to track her down performing as a stripper in a brothel on the other side of the kingdom, and I still have not been able to fully restore her to her original self. Of all of my agents, she was my most cunning and wilful. To corrupt her so thoroughly and so quickly… A powerful force is clearly at work here – one with its blade to our throats. And one who knows the people that I rely on.” The Queen glanced to the side, clearly annoyed.

Ah. Yes. That was pretty bad. El, please stop looking so impressed.

“Worse, it’s clear that whoever is behind this is well connected, but I can’t find a single clue as to their identity.” Alura’s frustration was mounting, and her raised hand was gesturing with annoyance. “They seem to be able to infiltrate the Palace at will, avoid security with ease, and so far nothing has stopped their plot. Every time I think I have them, they slip away, retreating back into the shadows, seemingly completely unbothered by my attempts. They know the Palace too well. And, much though it galls me, they know me too well. I need outside help.”

The pair nodded. Okay, that made sense – called in from the outside to investigate, since whoever was doing this clearly knew enough to avoid the Palace’s internal efforts. But… “Then why did you turn us into Royal Guards?” Tanya had to ask – and Elora was nodding furiously alongside her. She had not liked that part.

Alura sighed. “I’m afraid that if two Adventurers show up out of nowhere and start hanging around the place, you’d draw suspicion. And if my enemy realises why you’re here, they’ll move to take you off the board, potentially in ways I cannot protect you from. And I certainly can’t be having that.”

She gave Tanya a fond look. The Paladin tried to ignore it, just like she was trying to ignore the death glare that she was receiving from Elora at the same time. The Queen had a passion for ‘Knights in shining armour’ which was not an image she had intentionally cultivated, and was really starting to seriously regret.

“So instead, you will be working here undercover, looking for suspicious activity that gives my opponent away.” Alura raised her pointer finger as if she was a teacher in front of a class. “As Royal Guards, you’ll have access to every area in the Palace and its grounds. Normal Guards are, unfortunately, not creative enough thinkers to notice anything amiss as long as it doesn’t interfere with their duties, but now that the two of you have had time to acclimate to the change, you should be able to keep watch.” She paused, and then shrugged. “Subconsciously, at least.”

Elora slumped. “You want to turn us back into those- those things again? But they suck!”

The Queen gave her an understanding nod. “I know, my dear, I know. It’s the best way of letting you look around, though, and thus our best chance to find our villain. If you haven’t found anything in a couple of weeks, we’ll try something else, but even then there won’t be many options.”

The elf pouted, grumbling. “So unstylish.”

Tanya’s concern was a bit less fashion based. “You’re sure this won’t have… side-effects or anything?” she asked nervously. “I wouldn’t mind inheriting a Royal Guard’s skills, but I’d hate to be stuck as one.”

“Oh, that won’t be a problem.” Alura laughed, waving a dismissive hand. “Turning you back will be easy. You’re very receptive to my magic.”

… Receptive? What was that supposed to… No, maybe it was best not to ask about that. The Paladin sighed. “I suppose I should be glad that won’t be a problem then.”

“Exactly! Don’t worry, darling, I’m an old hand at turning you two back!” The Queen chuckled, patting her on the shoulder. “My, but you get yourselves into trouble. To be expected from a dashing hero and her wise counsel.”

That got a blush. The two of them hadn’t gotten transformed into that many things, had they? Wait, had they…?

Elora was giving her a look as she shook her head. “She never listens to her wise counsel, you know.”

“They never do, do they?” Annnnd the Enchantress was right there to commiserate with her.

Tch. Spellcasters.

“Maybe we should get started,” she grumbled, forcefully changing the topic away from the possibility of those two actually teaming up. “What do you need us to do, your Majesty?”

The Queen smiled and nodded. “Yes, you’re right. The longer this takes, the more chance there is of our opponent noticing. Very well. Stand, both of you, please.”

Tanya sighed, realising a little too late what she’d just invited back onto herself. Elora was glaring again, but still hopping off her desk to stand beside her. “Anything you want us to do this time to help?”

Alura shook her head. “All you need to do is keep an eye out. As Royal Guards like yourselves should.”

Even when prepared for it, there was nothing quite like the feeling of everything around you distorting into nonsense in the brief millisecond before you joined it. Reality became a canvas, and Alura’s brush was already running over them, painting over their existence with the white gleam of their uniforms – paying perhaps a little too much attention to their chests, because some bad habits died hard.

Their looks changed first, their forms melting and reshaping into the mould the Queen had provided for them, and then their identities followed, their minds unspooling, unravelling into little more than base instincts as they ceased to make sense in the world they were now in.

The words ‘Tanya’ and ‘Elora’ were effortlessly scrubbed out, adjusted and then discarded by an ethereal artist who decided they were unnecessary. The concept of the Royal Guard imposed itself upon them, painted over their existences as their pasts were ripped from the history books. The noble Paladin and the haughty Sorceress vanished from the world, and in their place, two silver haired soldiers stepped into place, identical to all of the rest.

And as they did so, reality steadied itself, whole and right once more. The Queen stroked her chin, inspecting her handiwork for a moment, before nodding.

“Good. That will be all. Resume your patrol and forget about this interruption.”

The guards saluted, and stepped out, resuming their patrol. Neither one would think any further on this strange delay. Life continued on in the castle, exactly as it had before.

… Then, three days later, as the nameless duo were inspecting the kitchen pantry, a whispered conversation reached their ears. An apprentice chef and a page, speaking in a hush over a table at the back of the room.

“What do you mean?”

“Just… Just cover my shift, okay? I’m supposed to be taking supplies down to the guards in the dungeons and I really don’t want to go down there right now.”

“What? Why not? You’ve never minded before.”

“Something’s been weird down there lately. The prisoners are behaving.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Listen, when the kind of people who end up in the dungeons start smiling, something’s wrong. They’re up to something down there.”

“You’re paranoid.”

“I’m the most rational person in this castle. And y’know what? I heard a rumour that there’s a new power player down there, someone who’s taken over. Maybe that’s why they’re acting weird.”

“Someone keeping that lot in line isn’t a bad thing.”

“I’d hate to meet the person who could do it, though.”

The Royal Guard paid the talk no mind – there had been nothing seditious or threatening about it. But deep in the back of their brains, quiet instincts caught hold of the conversation, and held it tight.

It wasn’t much of a start – but it was the start of something. A trail that could maybe lead to answers.

At the very least, hopefully it meant they wouldn’t have to spend any longer like this!