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Reacting to 'Looking' S2:E9 - "Looking for Sanctuary" (Patreon)

Published:
2026-06-05 05:22:51
Imported:
2026-06
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  • 675844652.mp4

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Adam and Bradley are taking it to sunny San Francisco to watch Patrick "Patty" (Jonathan Groff), Dom (Murray Bartlett), and Agustín (Frankie J. Alvarez) as they navigate the ooh's and ahh's of 30-something gayhood. A real Sex and the City bunch of modern gay men navigate love, career, and friendship while exploring the complexities of gay life with raw, realistic humor and drama, focusing on dating, connection, commitment, masculinity and finding happiness. 👀

HBO's "Looking" saw a quick, but packed 2 seasons and a movie! So get ready to join Bradam on their speedy watch-through.

Stay tuned for the next episode! 👨‍❤️‍👨

We're so grateful to have you all here on the Patreon 💕 your support is so special to us.

Edit: Bradley Mickelson

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Comments

wren

“with your douching and your drag brunches” STOOOOP

DFROMDAQ

I disagree with your take on the Dom situation. The money needed can’t wait a few months. He’s losing money by waiting to open. Yes 80 grand is a lot but you have to weigh how much he’s losing by waiting. Those maxed out credit cards have to be paid. So where do the payments come from without a working restaurant?

wren

based on your closing thoughts, i really can’t wait to see what you think of the movie

Lin

I read Megan's comments more as her feeling the family pressure to have a perfect family, give parents grandchildren and her feeling that Patrick didn't have to do it and could live a messy life and do what he wanted whilst she felt she couldn't. It's more about sibling dynamic rather than him being gay. In her mind it just allowed Patrick to live his life without the pressure of parent's expectations.

Julia F

I have thoughts on the intensity of Dom's reaction, because I understand it. When you are someone who doesn't like to take money from friends/family, often what underlies that is previous experiences of being burnt. He loves and trusts Doris so much that it didn't even really occur to him that it could go wrong this time, because she doesn't let him down. Add to that the fact that this restaurant has been a dream of his for a long time. He had to put himself out there in multiple ways, and deal with the vulnerability of telling people you really want this thing that you don't think you will actually get. He's been rejected so many times that in his head he was already accepting that it probably wouldn't happen. Then Doris comes in like a fairy godmother and makes his dream possible, and he allows himself to jump headfirst into the belief that he WILL actually get it. He allows himself to trust that it will work out SO much, that he goes into massive financial debt because he is not letting that "things never work out, when is the other shoe going to drop" voice win. And then all his belief and optimism get utterly decimated and he feels like a fucking idiot for thinking it would work out this time, and he is also in deep financial shit on top of that. So whether it is fair or not, his reaction is just straight up trauma, especially since it had been triggered by someone totally unexpected. And when you have that kind of 'it always goes wrong so I should just expect it to go wrong' trauma, when you do let yourself have hope that something could go right for you this time, and then it still turns to shit, you end up feeling foolish and naive that you thought it might work. So the anger is also at yourself for allowing that sliver of optimism to hurt you again. I don't think his reaction was fair, I think it was kind of 50/50 in terms of why that interaction went wrong (they both should/could have been more conscientious with researching the process of inheriting money). But his reaction still makes a lot of sense to me, and it doesn't feel like it's coming from an ungrateful place at all. The real issue was the codependency stuff, and if that hadn't been there I think he and Doris could have made up much more easily about this specific fight.

Geo

I think that Kevin is what Patrick is supposed to want according to an old playbook (it always interests me how much more some people were willing to forgive the flaws in this relationship than they were in Patrick's other relationship).

Geo

I (without giving shit away) wish the events of the movie could have been thinned out among a few seasons, but you get what you get.

wren

yeah considering they weren’t renewed for another season, i think it’s the best we could hope for

Sebastian

I agreee yeah he came off the wrong way saying it the way he did . Hr dad just died and she offered the money in this big emotional moment, but that’s friendship, and then money for the shop is work, he did go out on a limb and put all his money into the place just to be left hanging, not that it was her fault, but money does ruin a lot of friendships. Telling him to hold back the things he ordered. Cmon

Sebastian

I think so too the codependency aspect of their relationship got in the way of researching about how the trust money worked, cause he jut accepted it and took her word for it cause theyre friends and he has been waiting for this dream yo happen. knowing that emotional and rational thinking are two different things specifically when it comes to work/ opening a business. Because your friends doesn’t mean you’ll make good business partners

Sebastian

I think patrick was just looking for the morally gray line , wanting someone to love him so much that they would leave their partner for him, not thinking what would come after when they were actually together, kevins habits and ways of thinking from his last relationship would surface in his relationship with him. He thought he was the exception

Sebastian

Funny while patrick felt the whole time during season 1 that he was the one not fulfilling expectations for his parents ,cause he didn’t have the things his sister had and could give their parents.

Geo

I also think Patrick thought Kevin would be the one Mom approved off. Checked the boxes

Rebekah

loved the reaction and y'all are in for a RIDE in the next one 😭

Matt Walker

I feel like you guys don't really understand the Dom/money thing... like if he was mad about not getting the money in general that would be weird, because he isn't owed it - but he went into debt based on something she told him and then she just came in like "oopsie I might not have the money", after she told him to spend all this money he didn't have, he's the one on the hook if the money never comes, not her. Idk it's meant to be complex and they both have points, but I think her not understanding why he would be horrified in that moment was kind of immature, especially when he immediately went to apologize and she just ran away.

Matt Walker

I mean that was her point, but it ignored that part where Patrick already had to deal with his families expectation of him being straight, having kids and marrying a woman.... it was kind of a stupid point. I don't think you can say it doesn't have anything to do with him being gay when she was making weird veiled-homophobic comments and explicitly saying his life is easier because he's gay... which again is just a stupid point to make, especially since when this show was airing gay marriage wasn't even fully legal in the USA yet.

xX_MadMix_Xx

In the previous episode, Dom said that he knows he rushed into it, by not waiting for the money to come through before getting the place, and Doris responds that she had told him not to rush it. If he had listened to her, instead of quitting his job and maxing out his cards, then he wouldn't be in this precarious situation. We aren't always at our best in stressful situations, but I think he was way out of line in shifting the blame onto her, when the crux of the matter was that he had been kind of irresponsible. Without that context, she comes off a bit dismissive, but even that was only after he started spiraling and directing his frustration towards her. Also, to me, his initial try at an apology looked more like an attempt at smoothing things over, than it did him taking real accountability for exactly how he'd hurt her.