Patreon Bonus - Audiobook Notes (Patreon)

So early last month I was asked to create a series of notes to help with the recording of the Book One Audiobook. I kinda overdid it, just a little, but I think the end result turned out very well and my audiobook guy (who I don't think I'm allowed to name yet) seemed pleased with the results.

On my walk today I realized the notes might be of interest to people, and so I spent ~5 minutes redacting the hell out of them so I could post them here. For anyone curious about how the sausage is made, these give you some insight into my process, detailing my thoughts on some of the characters, their general 'voices' and characters who inspired them. I've also included the book one 'summary' I gave him which is pretty funny imho.

Anything that is [redacted] would have been obvious spoilers, so don't feel like you're missing too much.

Anyway, this is just a bonus, I'm off to write and edit, so expect somewhere between 1-3 chapters throughout the day depending on how things progress on that front.

Ciaotown.

General Notes

1. Characters in story tend to speak a couple of different languages. The most common being Ashadi and Vitrian. As the latter is what the cast speaks for the majority of the story, it is rarely remarked upon past the opening chapters. When other languages are used it is typically called out and noted with <Dialogue that looks like this.> rather than quotations marks. If I were reading the story I don’t think I’d really add an accent to these parts, but I’m also not a voice actor for a reason so you do you in this regard and I’m sure it’ll turn out great.

2. The major players in the first book (and throughout much of the subsequent books, though it lessens) are culturally Vitrian. While most of the cast speak Vitrian as their primary language, people from Vitria tend to speak it differently. The main way this comes across in text is a lack of contractions. This stems from a cultural taboo against explicit lies which causes them to be very precise in their language. For cadence I would suggest that they tend to pause a touch more than others, taking their time to make sure that they are saying what they intend to say rather than the first thing their brain manages to get to their lips.

You’ll see a lot of “I am” instead of “I’m” as you read through their parts, and this is an intentional choice. I’ve gone back and forth in my head over whether this would be a full on accent, so again I’m happy to leave that up to you. I’ve marked these characters with a (V) next to their names and will do so for future books as well, though for most it is obvious.

3. I tend to enunciate a lot with italics and I’m not sure if this is something that is going to drive you nuts. That said, I write for text and you read for ears. If you feel a sentence doesn’t flow well with the way I’ve written the emphasis please feel free to take liberties to make a better audio product rather than trying to stick to my intent.

4. Regarding ‘System’ messages in story, I think you sort of nailed the vibe I was going for in ‘[Redacted]’ so... roughly that. I wouldn’t have even made a note for it since you seem to have it cased, but I figured if I did not then you might end up asking, so lets just cut out the middle man to be sure.

Cast List

Kaphle - {Kah-full}(Prologue)[Late teens. Upbeat and headstrong] - Viewpoint character for the first chapter and somewhat of a fake out protagonist. Appears in four chapters, one of which is a flashback to his appearance in the prologue. He is an apprentice thief/scavenger and an all round fairly decent human being.

Val - (Prologue)[Late teens/early twenties, Reserved] - Another relatively minor character, he is largely a foil urging caution compared to Kaphle’s excitement. He dies in the prologue and only appears in the aforementioned flashback.

Baylan - {Bay-lann}(Prologue)[Late 30’s/Early 40’s. Gruff and direct.] - One more one and done, Baylan is the thief/scavenger/leader of a small group. He’s experienced and pragmatic, more than willing to engage in violence or other negative behavior to get ahead in life. When Val dies, for example, his anger is less about the death and more about all of the time wasted training him that will no longer pay off.

Alarion - {Ah-lair-e-on}(Prologue)[Fourteen/Fifteen. Traumatized Child] - Our main protagonist and viewpoint character for the majority of the novel. Alarion is a war orphan who has been left to his own devices for over a year at the start of the story. He is extremely reserved, mostly speaking when spoken to and tends to be coded as somewhat of a savant. If a topic does not interest him, he is not shy about expressing his lack of interest, but can be coaxed out of his shell by things that interest or anger him. Owing to his background, he is (at least in voice) willing to defer to others such as Elena and ZEKE, first out of a practical desire to keep his benefactors happy and later out of a need for approval and acknowledgement.

He reacts extremely negatively to being hurt by anyone he trusts (even minority) and has several outbursts throughout the first novel when this happens. He dislikes the idea of being ‘used’ and is bitter about the idea that everyone cares about his potential more than his humanity.

For the majority of the novel (well past the halfway point) he tends to go with the flow and is characterized as such, not meek but passive. Very much a ‘oh, we’re doing this, okay’ sort of attitude. This begins to break off when he refuses an order in the last third of the book, setting the stage for a more proactive (and somewhat sassier) evolution in the second novel. Lastly, he has difficulty showing affection, or most real emotion, due to his background.

There are two main quirks with his dialogue worth mentioning. The first is that he starts out the story only speaking Ashadi, and though he picks up Vitrian he does not speak it like a native. This begins to change after the first major adventure (chapter 50), with Alarion adopting a more formal tone.

His second major quick, which you’ll likely notice, is his tendency to respond “Mm.” He does it a lot, and it is intentional. If you imagine it as him sort of grunting in the affirmative and nodding his head sharply, you’ll be on track for 90% of the times it is used in the story.

A primary inspiration for Alarion’s general demeanor and method of speech would be Mikazuki Augus of Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans, in case you are familiar or which to check.

Elena(V) - (Chapter 1)[Early 30’s. Refined.] - Functionally Alarion’s foster mother, Elena acts as a viewpoint character for the first two chapters, then fades into a secondary character for most of the story. She is around for most of the first 20 chapters, returns for roughly 50-60 and then for the finale shortly before her death.

Elena is best described as a socialite and a ladder climber. I imagine her as a bit posh and full of herself/her own moral superiority, more exasperated than annoyed at Alarion’s antics. She is politically savvy and tends to try and find an angle in almost everything, such as taking Alarion in the first place. Her initial attitude toward him is paternal, but fairly distant as she is not the type to love bomb, even if it would be to her benefit to try and sway him in that direction. She develops affection for him over the course of the story, and is as good a person as her occupation allows her to be.

ZEKE/Ezekial - {Zee-eek}(Chapter 3)[Several centuries. Witty, condescending, a bit of a nerd] - ZEKE is Alarion’s primary instructor throughout the first book. The follows roughly the same trajectory as Elena, showing up in the first 20 chapters, coming back in 50-60 and then disappearing to the finale. Unlike Elena, he survives (sort of) to go into the next book.

He is what is known in story as a Steelborn (basically a robot) who works for Elena’s extended family/house. Despite his mechanical origin, he does not sound mechanical and instead has a deep, pleasant sounding human voice. Because of his age and experience, ZEKE tends to talk down to almost everyone, with the primary exception being Dar Elzmir. He is capable of being serious, shown most notably in his late novel confrontation with Dar and his early warning to Alarion but usually comes along as very happy-go-lucky.

One exception to all of the above is that ZEKE is a complete nerd when it comes to the System. Any skills, flaws or other abilities that he has never seen before are of real interest to him and he tends to get a bit excited when they come up.

When ZEKE appears in chapter 95 he is heavily damaged. He stutters his words and they are intended to come out more mechanical as his voice box fails. This returns to normal after he is put into his new housing.

His attitude and speaking cadence is extremely loosely based on HK-47 of Knights of the Old Republic fame.

Dar Elzmir(V) - {Elz-meer}(Chapter 10)[Early 40’s. Gregarious/Domineering] - Dar is Elena’s husband, the governor of Ashad and a right bastard. He appears sporadically throughout the book, usually at the beginning and end of arcs. Dar dies at the end of the book alongside Elena.

He comes across as good-natured and kind to Alarion on his first meeting, but that facade does not stick. He is an abusive husband, a racist and a coward. The strongest of the main cast, he relies on his political position and physical strength to make demands, but is also led around by the nose when it comes to his wife’s scheming, more or less always going along with what she eventually decides. He palpably dislikes ZEKE due to his status as a Steelborn and after their initial positive interaction quickly grows to dislike Alarion as the orphan continues to bring him trouble that he does not want to deal with.

His general demeanor is loosely based on Tadanobu Asano’s role as Kashigi Yabushige from Shogun, though as he never has anyone stronger than him you never see the sniveling worm side of him in story.

Sierra Feln(V) - {Fell-/n/}(Chapter 10)[Sixteen. A young woman trying to act older than she is] - Sierra is Dar’s equerry and daughter of a prominent Vitrian political figure. She joins the main cast in chapter 10 and serves as Alarion’s ally through the first two thirds of the book (Chapters 10-65ish), appearing periodically through chapters 65-90 before being a focus for the final few chapters. She is written as a possible love interest, though given the circumstances it never evolves beyond intimate a handful of intimate conversations about their lives. Sierra dies at the end of Book one, but [Redacted].

Sierra is initially very standoffish with Alarion, disliking the idea of being assigned to him and then from a misunderstanding. She comes around on him over the first ten chapters, and their relationship normalizes by the time she’s assigned to assist him in a hunt. Her upbringing was designed to make her the idea Vitrian, capable, dedicated and focused and she feels the weight of all of that obligation in almost everything she does. Her main outlet and the main time she lets her hair down in story is playing music which she does on a few occasions. Overall my suggestion would be that she comes across professional for the most part, with glimpses of the girl underneath when in action, with a more relaxed attitude when not on mission.

A big focus for her is Chapters 92 and 93. For chapter 92, I envision her as being subtly ‘off’, dealing with the inner turmoil of what she’s being asked to do. Chapter 93, meanwhile, is the emotional gut punch of the story, with Sierra desperate to get Alarion to listen to her. She firmly believes that what she is doing is ‘right’, even if the underlying massacre is very wrong, and wants to save his life. She does not believe until almost the very end that she is in any danger, and by then it is too late for either of them.

Leopold Tempes(V) - {Tem-pez}(Interlude 1)[An older man in good physical condition. Lovecraftian] - Leo is a Vitrian professor who lived a few centuries before the main events of the story. He appears only in the three interlude chapters, and will continue to appear in interlude chapters throughout books two, three and four. His primary role in the story is to give me a way to hint at things related to [redacted] without having the main cast be introduced to those facts too quickly. His memoir is [diagetic]

Leo’s memoir (in book one) tells the story of a Vitrian researcher who went to the continent and became embroiled in the mystery surrounding a cult devoted to [redacted], Kol Daua. The memoir takes a more anachronistic tone (as it is centuries old by the time of the story), intended to evoke a lovecraftian feeling of unease. Leo himself is charming, has a decent sense of humor and is writing toward the end of his life about the conspiracy he spent his life [redacted]

My inspiration for these chapter is (amusingly) the 2010 Splatterhouse videogame, in specific the ‘Journals of Dr. Henry West’. I’ve linked one here to give you an idea of the tone I was going for:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUF-C84HdRs&ab_channel=MadSand

Lamesh - {Lah-Mesh}(Chapter 33)[Late 20’s. Refined researcher/Bloodcrazed monster] - Lamesh is a former Ashadi researcher who [redacted]. He appears in chapters 33 and 49, book-ending the ‘hidden city’ part of the story. He does not appear further in the novel, but [redacted]

Lamesh… [redacted]

Like all revenants, humans who have been reanimated by the infestation, Lamesh is compelled to kill living things and feed them to his master, but during that course of the story he is able to stave off that impulse in order to strike a bargain. His dialogue is that of a scientist turned feral, constantly fighting to keep himself under control,moving from almost normal speech to words that are barely one step removed from guttural growls. Anytime he says something violent or offensive, he is typically saying it with his body tense, his jaw tight as he tries to restrain himself.

As you can see for a character with very few lines of dialogue I love him and he is my special boy. Feel free to ask if you have questions and I can try and give more guidance. Haha.

#67102-5 - (Chapter 39)[Age no longer has meaning, Desperately suicidal] - A one and done character for Chapter 39, 67102-5 is a human mind that was put into a security bot and left staring at a wall for [redacted] years. His chapter is meant to be emotionally dead, a person who has extended beyond insanity to a sort of mute living death, followed by delirous excitement at the prospect that someone is there to finally kill him.

The Computer - (Chapter 41/42)[Its Microsoft Sam baybeee] - Not really a character, Alarion is interrogated by a text to speech device in these chapters. This isn’t ‘the system’ or any of the normal LitRPG prompts but a full on ‘Hell-o, I am your automated voice messaging system’ style of actual robot. It is meant to be jarring, stilted and off.

Alex - (Chapter 42-49)[Mid 20’s, Traumatized modern man] - Alex is a copy of a human consciousness that has been left running idle for decades. He appears from chapters 42-49 and then exits the story, though [redacted]

Alex is written as a ‘in the distant future of 2035’ style of human, someone close enough to us that we relate but far enough that there have been some neat tech advances. He is traumatized by being left active so long, but has the mental fortitude to keep going and ultimately rejoin the world. He is incredulous at what has changed (magic is a thing now) and is sort of an iseaki protagonist in his own right.

The Duke - (Chapter 46/47)[Ageless Robot] - Almost more of a monster than a person, the Duke shows up for two chapters and gets wrecked.

His dialogue is minimal and mostly communicated through Alex, but he does have a few lines that I’ve transcribed pronunciations for below. He (like the steelborn/soulless in earlier chapters) has a fully mechanical voice as opposed to the human voice of ZEKE. He is a former military man and speaks with authority whenever he does.

Valentina Lyons - {Lee-ons}(Chapter 62)[~400 years, physically in her mid 30’s. Playful, maternal and instructive] - Valentina is an Incarnate, one of the former hosts for the series prime known deities (The four mothers), specifically Lal Viren. She first appears in chapter 62 and appears in most chapters through to chapter 90 at which point she exits the novel. [Redacted]

Valentina served as the host for Lal Viren until her death roughly 400 years before the start of the series. Lal Viren provided her (and others like her) a sort of afterlife by placing her in charge of one of her challenge dungeons. Inside this pocket dimension Valentina has almost limitless power, but very little in the way of companionship. She is profoundly lonely and laments many of the things she lost [redacted] as a result of hosting Lal Viren.

A teacher in life, she warms to Alarion immediately for both his potential and as a young man in need of guidance. She constantly pushes his boundaries but always does so in a positive fashion. She is genuinely delighted to have company that isn’t the 89th snobby Vitrian noble and by the end considers him a surrogate child in the same way that he feels a strong connection to her.

Valentina hates [redacted]

The Butcher - (Chapter 81)[30’sish, violent thug] - A simple character, The Butcher appears in Chapter 81 where he violently murders several people Alarion was close to. I think he has like... three lines of dialogue.

Mira, Hana and Erda - (Chapter 81)[Teens/Middle age. Terrified refugees] - Lumping them in to avoid repeating myself. They’re three women who fostered Alarion. All three are dead before the story begins and only appear in the flashback chapter. Like the Butcher they’re on here for the sake of completeness.

Nessa Feln(V) - {ness-uh}(Chapter 82-84)[Late 20s. Maternal and kind.] - Nessa is Alarion’s mother and appears throughout the three chapter flashback arc. [Redacted]

Nessa is Alarion’s mom and wife to Bas-Rhin. She is a loving mother and dutiful spouse. She is skeptical of her husbands claims and of Eloim, but does not realize the extent of what either are planning before it is too late. Most of her dialogue is directed at the kids and is caring and lighthearted, along with some minor scolding. Her conversations with her husband are darker and more serious, though only a bit of that comes through in the text.

Nessa is also, [redacted].

Atra and Aina - {At-rah and eye-na}(Chapter 83-84)[11/10 respectively. Bratty older sisters] - Alarion’s sisters, they play a relatively minimal role in book one with only a few lines of dialogue in the three chapters they are involved in. Atra survives the story and will be an important character later on, Aina does not.

Both are light hearted, innocent girls. Aina is distressed in her main dialogue in chapter 84, but they’re largely here just so I can make sure to let you know that [redacted].

Bas-Rhin - {Bah-s Rin}(Chapter 83-84)[Early 30s. Tormented and trying to hide it] Bas-Rhin is Alarion’s father and appears through two chapters, dying at the end of the second.

He is a conscripted soldier who believes he has been given an ‘out’ from going back to war by assisting Eloim in forcing [redacted]. He puts on an extremely brave face, acting as though the war was nothing special, but he is deeply traumatized and desperate to avoid returning. So desperate, in fact, that he is willing to force his children into the bargain if it gets him what he wants.

Bas-Rhin is meant to come across as an ideal father on first blush, and a profoundly weak man groveling in the mud before his death.

Eloim - {El-o-eem}(Chapter 83-84)[~200, appears and sounds early 30s. Unsettling monster] – Eloim is [redacted].

Eloim is a [redacted]

He has two lines of particular note, both [redacted].

Ruin - (Chapter 94)[Early 30s, but talks and acts less mature. Informal and irreverent] - Ruin is our final character for book one. He is the man who kills most of the supporting cast and becomes Alarion’s benefactor. He appears only in Chapter 94, but will appear in later novels.

Ruin is a Vitrian who does not act like one. One of the strongest people on earth, he believes himself to be above lesser concerns like tact in his word choice. Whatever you’re doing to make Vitrians sound different from regular folk, do not do it with him.

Beyond that he finds Alarion interesting, the way someone might think a particular bug is sort of neat. He is casual in his speech, considering the brutal massacre he’d just conducted to be just another day at work. His tone only softens somewhat once he realizes that Alarion cared for Sierra, and he keeps that more somber tone through the remainder of their discussion. I don’t know if you do effects or anything (I know nothing about audiobooks, so don’t judge me) but he is wearing a covered helmet for much of his early dialogue for whatever that is worth.

And that is a wrap!

Glossary

Vitrian - Vit-Tree-an

Tuluus - To-loose

Nusume - New-sue-me

Imuria - E-mur-e-a

Ashad - Ash-ahd

Ashad-Mundi - Ash-ahd Mun-dee

Celes - Sell-es. Celesian - Sell-ees-e-an

Nostrum - Nose-truh-um

Gartite - Gar-Tight

Kol Daua - Not sure how to even write this one. I suppose Kol (Coal, but with a hard K and no a sound) Dow-Ah (as in Dow Jones)

Lal Viren - Vee-Ren.

Lal Kales - Cal-Ez.

Lal Tia - Tee-uh.

Lal Sera - Ser-ah

Kol Ilun - Ill-un.

Kol Nian - Knee-an.

Kol Lian - Lee-an

Kol Seras/L`Seras/ - Ser-ass, Le-ser-ass

Kol Tiras - Tear(as in to cry)-ass

Iik Ko No - Eek Ko No

To nial, ver Ashadi? - Toe knee-al vair Ash-ad-ee

To lira, ver Ashadi tai granven - Toe Lee-rah, vair Ash-ad-ee

Iik ko no. Lias loe nia ta karavasti. Verisal tei la ver, Kol Daua. - Eek ko no. Lee-ass, Low-eh, knee-ah tah kah-rah-vah-s-tee. Vair-ee-sah-l tay la vair, Kol Daua.

Series Summary

Book One (Orphan) - Alarion is picked up by some ethno-imperialist weirdos because of his innate potential for growth and trained to become a living weapon. He is surprisingly good at it and is sent to a nearby island full of monsters to get even better at it. Him and his gal pal kill some mooks and fall in a hole. The hole is a trap and they are forced to undergo a task for a more civilized monster in order to escape. They succeed in doing so (shocking, right) and are freed.

Alarion continues his training, this time on the magical side of things. He is surprisingly bad at it, but they eventually find a work around along with a touching scene between him and a love interest that is his cousin (Insert Sweet Home Alabama here). He begins to get upset at his slow progress and this prompts Elena to give him the choice to enter a challenge dungeons to get stronger, on a strict time limit. He enters the dungeon and is met by a former god who gives him pointers throughout his training because he’s really bad at some of this. Eventually he overshoots his time limit, everyone gets mad at him but against the odd he succeeds in clearing the dungeon.

Alarion is set to be sent to the military, but the night before he is lured out of the keep and forced into a life or death battle with his gal pal. He comes out victorious, though everyone but ZEKE is now dead. My readers are annoyed because while this ending is emotionally brutal it is also emotionally brutal.

Book Two (Soldier) - Alarion has spent eighteen months being a dog of the army and he’s not very good at it. He keeps doing stupid things like ‘trying to keep his fellow soldiers alive’ and ‘not putting down a riot’ and getting thrown in the brig. The new boss offers to let him join a dangerous mission (rather than be hanged for punching an officer) and he goes with it. Though a series of hijinks they find one [redacted]. They discover the Ashadi terrorists plans which boil down to ‘make a bunch of friends, throw them at the nearest urban center) and manage to stop the worst of it through quick action and the incredible power of violence.

After recovering from his injuries, Alarion is promoted and given charge of a new unit named after him (speciically called the 238th after his high Aptitude, which pisses him off) and used as a publicity tool. [Everything from here on is redacted].