Christmas walk (Patreon)

I wanted to share this short walk through our neighbourhood when we still had a bit of snow, which completely melted in the meantime. I also wanted to take the opportunity to wish everyone a merry Christmas, and a great peaceful time together with your family or your beloved, something I cannot claim about myself unfortunately.

I am so sorry to bother you with my own private life issues especially during this wonderful period and I wanted to avoid getting too personal with my life problems, but as all of you are supporting me allowing me to do what I do, I feel obliged to share some details about my current crisis.

Like already mentioned before, I have had some family grudge which is already lasting for longer. Every relationship has some up and downs, but this time it became really serious and it would seem as if me and my partner will have to separate with all consequences regarding our child, home, finances etc. The decision is from my partner's side, she hates me, hates what I am doing, thinks I am the biggest loser and retard in life. She claims to have wasted 20 years of her life with me with the biggest error being getting a child from me. At some certain point, there is no return anymore. I was beaten by her today trying to calm her down. She has always been very impulsive, throwing things at me, or destroying things in the house, but I always managed to find some balance with her again. Unfortunately this time I simply have no power anymore to handle this, she seems way more convinced and sure about her decision than usual. This will of course mean a lot of changes for me. Right now I am completely devastated because of this, despite some dispute here and there I always believed I could save our relationship, not only due to our son. I have spent nearly 20 years of my life with this woman being always loyal, thus I see her as part of my life even as part of myself, we had a very intense relationship and spent and shared nearly every day together, never being separated longer than a couple of days. Therefore I cannot believe and don't want to accept this fact it could be over.

All this will of course mean that we would have to sell our house. I have no plans for future, what to do, where to go. I have no idea how long this entire period will last, what to do next etc I am in a heavy depression right now because of this, aside from the story which just happened with Earfun recently, completely let me down and brought me to the edge of despair. I still have a video to finish putting the A28, A38 and A48 side by side. I already shot all footage but need to edit and finish the video. This all happened some days ago, just like the Christmas walk which I did earlier but right now I am not in a constitution to be able to shoot much else.

Despite all the support from you which I am really thankful for, I am still fighting with my finances every day, as I have to pay mostly all bills regarding our cars, home, shopping etc. Because of this I cannot buy any products for reviews right now. I don't know how long I will need to recover from everything, right now I cannot even think properly and am crying half the day. The only thing which helped me a bit to get through this crisis was to start with sports again. I want to keep this activity for longer as it definitely helps me to forget about the problems and also make me feel better. I am trying to get at least 1:30h of workout every day. Maybe this will also allow me to get more in shape again like I looked 23 years ago (together with my back then partner):

I will keep you updated of course as you are my only "real friends" right now. But please apologise if I don’t manage to react properly to your comments or inquiries. Losing your support will bury myself completely 🙏

Yours, O.