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Clark Nova

I demand lots of sweater meat!

The Producer

An evil domineering scientist defends her business model in court "Oh sure, when colleges saddle young women with debt they are fine but when I imprison them temporarily and pump them full of hormones to increase milk production I'm the bad guy."

Jumper9

Cthulhu comes to devour the earth Surprise, Cthulhu is in truth a super-sexy succubus-like love-demon, quite the opposite of the tentacle-mouth monster (a monster outsells romance)

Gen-Awesome

Bill Cipher gives all the Gravity Falls characters big boobs. All of them.

Jagnir

Orborbos, The Perfect Sphere, has awakened from its aeon-long slumber to name its new High Spheress. The time of prophecy has finally come; roundness be upon you.

GrantZeebs

I can only think of bow ties

Mason Dunne

Mr. Waddles finnaly is able to enjoy some cheese and popcorn in peace.

DA

The cult that worships Big Round Things discovers that triangles can make some things bigger. And... rounder? Is that possible?

Serp

Now that's all I can think of so I second bow ties.