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[Bonus Episode] Ep 4 - SPILL IT GIRLIES: The Girlies Giving YOU Advice (...don't sue us) (Patreon)

Published:
2024-11-28 00:49:35
Edited:
2025-08-07 12:28:56
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

In today’s bonus episode, we do our best to help you girlies out with situations you asked for advice on. Disclaimer: We have no idea what is going on in life, so like really don’t listen to us. Okay byyyyyeee!

But if you want to submit more advice question...

Submit here 👉 https://forms.gle/MupejBT82uTYs6Bh8

Files

[Bonus Episode 4] SPILL IT GIRLIES: The Girlies Giving YOU Advice (...don't sue us)

https://linktr.ee/doweknowthem In today’s bonus episode, we do our best to help you girlies out with situations in your life that you wanted our advice on. If you want our advice and want to be featured in a future episode, fill out this form and SPILL IT GIRLIE: https://forms.gle/rB16NjG6d573mmJF7 Disclaimer: For legal purposes, please note that we have no idea what is going on in life and cannot be held accountable for what happens if you do choose to take our advice. Okay byyyyyeee! We hope you enjoyed this episode! Please let us know on Twitter or Instagram if you have any topic suggestions for next Sunday! (@lily_marston & @jessismiles__) Business Inquiries: doweknowthempodcast@gmail.com

Comments

Patrick Snow Jr

Hi girlies love yas. I’m still in hospital but it won’t me from watching

Leah

Oh my god it’s nearly 1 am and I have to be up at 7 am, why are you two doing this to me

Avery 🖤

I needed this 🩷🩷 I've been having extremely bad anxiety today so I need to dissociate with my girlies!!!

Sabrina🎀

It may almost be 1am…. but I’m staying up for this🤣🫶🏻

Cristina

Thank you for uploading it on YouTube girlies!!! Makes my streaming so much easier❤️

Patricia

Love this! The honesty

Inês Almeida

Same! I don't have android tv or anything, so I wasnt able to connect patreon to the tv, had to always watch on the phone, which is horrible when in bed. Sooooo much better that I can put it on the TV and sleep listening to the girlies

Amy Ventura

Yess please do more of the spill it girlies episodes I loved this one!

peachxtaehyung

I LOOOOVE this girlies! If y'all celebrate happy Thanksgiving hope you have a good day and eat a lot of good foods!

Emmy G

This was a vibe, slay guys, and Happy Thanksgiving to the American girlies

Courtney

Oh I loved this 💜

Abby F

What if someone on the Patreon doesn’t know they aren’t in the same room still and thinks that just have an unlimited amount of neon signs

Kait • 🍉

I like this aloooot! Just chatty vids 🩷

peachxtaehyung

Yesss so many assume disabled and neurodivergent people can't do things even have sex or a relationship, people infantalize us so much smh

Zoe

Love this 🤍 thank you for posting

T

My daughter has severe ADHD and we think possibly Autism and I can totally relate to the extreme meltdowns Jessi. She's almost 9 and it's really hard sometimes. But she totally also has the attitude of the girl in the video you showed. I would show her but she is SO literal that it would probably piss her off and she'd be so mad that people thought the girl couldn't do things🤣🤣

psspsspss

are you telling me that Jessica Urban and the Other Girl aren't in the same room and they don't have unlimited neon signs and even the background is FAKE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? THE LIES

psspsspss

I hope you're okay 🩵

Mariana V.

Love the way you girlies articulate your thoughts and opinions! It’s always a treat to hear y’all yap 😄

Moni

literally just had a falling out with my best friend (I’m not sure what the future holds for us) so this will be a great distraction for crying! Edit: we made up 😅

Andrew Giglio

I'm terrified of being bullied by Meghan.

Bri

Omg 😭 I'm Bri and I just want to say, thank you, girlies for the advice💙 Even Lily's comparison of dogs communicating in their own way was helpful 🥹 I really appreciate this community 💗

Victoria🫧💕 (edited)

Comment edits

2026-09-08 07:00 I definitely agree that you’re not a horrible person for not wanting to cut off family. However, as someone who cut off my MAGA parents, I definitely think we shouldn’t de-normalize that. I felt inherently disrespected by them, and they’re unwilling to have any conversations about it so I did what I needed to for my mental health. I think we can normalize both reactions. They don’t need to disrespect you personally for you to decide you’re done.
2024-11-28 04:08

Cassie

One of the hardest thing is helping someone through addiction and being THAT person for them and when they finally turn it around they don’t even truly ever acknowledge how much you went through with them and the sacrifices you made to try and help them. Definitely hard to manage.

Micaela Jean

I love hearing your experience with Noah! I am a new SLP and I am literally going to tell all my colleagues they way you phrased his communication style! And Lily’s anecdotes!! I love it and of course love you girlies ❤️

Syd

I really appreciate the girlies perspective and I’m excited to see more of these 😊👍🏻

Mebbe81

😂😂

Mare

My daughter also has adhd and autism and the melt downs are so intense. People who haven't seen them before look horrified when they witness it. She is 11 and we are doing aba now. When she was 3 she would cry for 45+ minutes and slam her head on the ground. It was so hard.

Emma R

Is there an audio only? I listen on my phone 🥲

kristina erickson

I will say for "weaponized incompetence" and partners helping each other. I will say sometimes two people just prioritize different tasks. I know I feel like I do so much around the house and so does my hubby. But, sometimes he or I get frustrated because we think the other didn't do the most obviously important thing to do. We both prioritize different tasks. I have found asking him do something specific helps. Like if I didn't get to scrubbing the bath tub I'll ask him to do it and he will. Vice Versa if he wants me to do a task he hasn't gotten around to he will ask me to do it.

M@

I loved this episode! Definitely would like to see this as a regular bonus segment.

Kait • 🍉

There's a way to load it on Spotify. Should be in the patreon info somewhere

Emily

I’m a speech therapist for birth to three kids. People are surprised that we even work with this age bc they aren’t aware of how much these kids do. We absolutely believe that all kids are capable of so much whether it’s learning language or a different way to communicate. That TikTok is so powerful and true. As for parents, you are your child’s best advocate. It’s okay to push for what your child needs. It’s also okay for you to ask for support and help when you need it. I love my job and the kids I work with. Seeing kids succeed is the best feeling.

Marcia

For the girl with the friend.....block them. I blocked my friend.....you don't need them....it will be so hard! But in the end....it will all work out.

T

Yep. That might be the hardest part is that other people don't understand. And the "control your kid" comments. Both for us a parent - because, it's not like I'm loving that it's happening😐 and also for her because when they get too overstimulated it's just over. There's no turning back until you get them out of the situation and allow them time to calm down.

Tori Rhind

I think an episode with jessi and her dad and one of Lilly and her mom. That would be cool

Ember Q

just wanted to add to the "cutting people off for different views" discussion, because i am really feeling that confusion these days. i recently found out that my best friend of my entire life (we're almost thirty) has become so anti-abortion that she believes IVF should be criminalized because it's "killing babies." i tried have a rational discussion about it, but I just got torn down and yelled at and my feelings hurt. I tried to explain to her that as a disabled person, I'm much more likely to require IVF to have kids and she said i was "just being pessimistic." honestly at this point I'm trying to focus on other friendships and distance myself a bit, but I don't know what to do at this point and I feel devalued and ignored.

Kylie

Yay, love this segment!

Sonia Marie

I’m single, all my family is liberal and I’m not a mom, but I could listen to you talk all day

LuTheTeaWitch

Meghan would not bully anyone who didn't need some bullying (though, you could add to the form a check box of if someone is sensitive.) BUT YEEEEES PLEASE HAVE A SIG/DBM cross over. And you guys go on their pods. Please.

Ronnie Shy

I just happen to think this is great, same as Sonia here, I don't have those issues in my life and I could just listen to you talk all day, It's like sharing things from the girlies community through you and sharing opinions, honest thoughts and experiences with each other, sounds great.

shelly

i feel that when you recognize they are so far gone and their beliefs are harmful to you or others in some way or another, it is very valid to just cut them off. i’m very sorry that you’re having to hear that from someone who you consider a friend.

Kerstynn

I have a 6 year old nonverbal boy and his identical twin is verbal so it’s posed some challenges but Jessi is absolutely right about being an advocate for your child. Hes still completely nonverbal and it was hard for me (i am also autistic) but he’s in special schooling and has made so much progress. He’s almost finally potty trained! All this to say it may seem difficult or hopeless but they can be so much more than you think and have they own loves and dislikes. Thanks Jessi, I loved this so much.

Abby F

No wonder it took them so long to make money from the podcast!! They have to spend so much money on signs!!!

Valerie

I’m a SLP in Canada. I always love hearing the progress of Noah. Love you girlies 🩷

Valerie M

I love the idea of this, and I know each friendship has its own dynamic so I’m not saying anything about that, but given the dynamics of the girlies’ personalities, it honestly just feels like an advice segment in this Patreon should be called or changed to The Jessi Show. And when it comes to the pod eps, I want both of them 🙂

wale

Not you other girling Lily

Valerie M

I am perhaps poorly trying to say I feel like this whole episode other girled Lily 🙈

Chelsea

I loved am I the asshole!

Linn

Loved this!

FadedFox

Literally crying when Jessi said that she’s learned so much about herself because of her son. It’s so damn true. I have a nonverbal daughter, she’s 8. It can be so hard but it’s such a beautiful journey. ♥️ I’ll add too - start teaching sign language now, it’s so helpful!! This was great, made me feel seen and I can’t wait for the next Spill It Girlies✨

Terri Nichols

Love listening to you girlies. Thanx for the black Friday sale. Might not have joined

Jessie W

Ahh I'm trying to cast this video and it won't let me, is it because it's not on Patreon and a link from YouTube?

Tabitha Wirtz

Noooo don't replace AITA with this :( I just don't find advice giving to be that entertaining

Cecilia O

I might be in the minority here but I prefer AITA! Advice segments don't keep my attention because I don't want to hear about other people's problems lol Can we continue to get mini topics for bonus episodes?

peachystreams

Really enjoyed and appreciated this episode, especially the last question expanding on not only personal experience and advice, but also disability awareness, thank you girlies <3

Marley Ortiz

For the girlie with the alcoholic, suicidal friend… his health is his own responsibility. As someone who was that person who was hospitalized and talked off the edge constantly, he’s not going to get better if he’s just using you as a crutch. He needs to learn how to support himself and appreciate the support system he has. I would prioritize your happiness and if he doesn’t give you happiness anymore, then wish him the best but let him go

Jen

I have no children but I could listen to Jessi talk about parenting for hours lol, it makes me sad about how I was raised but hopeful for my future kids if I prep now.

Stephanie Davis

Next time can we please let Lily pick the questions?

Sammy-P

I loooovved this

Emely Arias

So sorry you are going through that, your feelings are valid and you do not have to tolerate that sort of disrespect :(

Kirsty

Non verbal 10 year old twin girls here 🥰 it’s so lovely to meet fellow girlies through things like this

Kirsty

Came to see if you’d commented - just watched, we have 2 nonverbal children (10 year old twins) and it’s all so true - our girls use Proloquo2go AAC app on iPads, but I know there are free ones just to test out with young children :) I think the free ones we used was LetMeTalk, that was over 5 years ago now though

Kristy Russell

My daughter is currently going to school for creative writing, theater etc. She works at a radio station on campus. I know it's not a "normal" path, but we want to support her and she works hard. She's been working on a book and who knows?! People just need to let others do their own thing and worry about themselves. She had a lot of classmates who had "normal" career paths lined out and half of them have switched or dropped out of college.

Ana Fox

I cannot express how much I love these moments. I, single with a dog, am best friends and godmother to a seven-year-old and his little three-year-old sister. My bestie works a lot, and we don’t get to see each other as much as we used to, but we are family and go through everything together. This podcast doesn’t just remind me of her; it feels like a window to our time together and fills that space between our reunions. It’s so comforting to watch and so relatable. I also learned a lot and understand her better by listening to Jessi’s similar retellings. And I learn from Lily too - on how to be there when you’re not physically there. Sounds like a bunch of cheesy nonsense but it's how I’ve felt on my DWKT journey. And for that (and all the laughs) I thank you ❤️

heather s

i was told by a member of my husbands family ‘whoever voted for Biden is an idiot’ as they knew for a fact i voted for Biden in 2020

Bianca

Is it too late to comment? It's not a 1 to 1 but I get what Lily was saying in the beginning. I ended up in my career by chance because I literally wanted to work at the same company an ex worked at. I took whatever job was available and then found myself liking it so I kept doing the best I could. Been in my industry for almost 9 years now.

Brooke Cole

Yeah I couldn’t even full screen it

Katie

Someone who works with addicts and loves many of my frequent flyers, you gotta cut them off when they start using you just like they use the substance. As painful as it can be, if they don’t take control of their mental health after opportunities, that is on them. While addiction is a complicated disorder that requires support sometimes you need to distance that especially with attention seeking behavior. ❤️ we need more sober living 😫

Cristle (Cris)

Voting for Trump is a hateful action so I don’t associate with those people

Loula

Whenever I hear Jessi talk about being a mum it helps heal my inner child. She's the parent I wish I had growing up and just knowing that their are people like her raising their children with true nurture is beautiful and healing 🥹

Loula

I learned this the hard way and cut off a friend who was destructive and draining me of my personal resources like my time, energy and money. I still hold love in my heart for him and stay in touch with him for when he has a handle on his addiction I will accept him back into my life. But before I allow that he will have to demonstrate that he's changed and ready to be a good friend to me rather than just a vampire sucking me dry.

Cee Smith

I think yall need to give yourselves more credit. You've been through a lot and we value your insights and worldview. That's why we're all here!

Sydney Ratliff

I have a brother with Downs and his overt happiness in life shows that it’s the people around him who may mourn what could’ve been and not him! He’s 18 and nonverbal but has a better social life than me🤣 he knows no different and is the most uplifting person I know. We tend to forget how strong and resilient kids truly are❤️ love this discussion

Jessica M.

I liked the 'am I the asshole' ☺️

UnfilteredTruths

Weaponized incompetence is unfortunately the definition for my son’s father way of living. I definitely need advice for my situation, the frustration is so real.

Autumn Baker

I like 'hello, spill it girlies!"

Lauren Suero

love all the bonus episodes so much, but i also loveee this type of content!!! i’m sad you guys pivoted away from it! great advice from my fav girlies

SasquatchRadius

Damn, wish I had subscribed much earlier and maybe could have saved a friendship of 24 years. Great advice ladies! <3

Shyan Vigil

I personally believe political beliefs should stay personal. My sister-in-law believes in different political views and religious beliefs, and we do just fine. We will talk about it sometimes, but we rather just enjoy life than worry about those headaches haha

Alexis Strother

Are yall still doing “spill it, girlies!”? Because… I honestly need some serious advice.🥺

Megan DiFatta

Hey girlies. New Patreon member and catching up on these episodes; obviously this is pretty old now but I’d like to add a little quip of advice for the third question here, in case it can help anybody in the future. I had a long, in depth comment typed out and then accidentally backed out of the screen so this is a second attempt. As somebody that’s been on both sides of the suicidal coin, it is incredibly hard to distinguish who genuinely feels like they’re at the end of their rope versus somebody who is acting out only for attention. The most important thing here to realize is that it is your responsibility to protect your own mental and physical health and wellbeing before you can even attempt to offer yourself to others. I’m sure we’ve all heard “you can’t pour from an empty cup,” but it’s true. In situations like this one, you also can’t feel guilty for being ready to let go of any responsibility you may feel. Some people genuinely feel like life has nothing left to offer them, and some will never be receptive to help until they’re ready to accept it. It’s almost parallel to addiction and abusive situations — sometimes you can’t and won’t get out of it until YOU are ready to get out of it. It’s important to recognize when that’s happening and conserve your energy, because there’s nothing to say or do at that point that can help somebody. With that being said, I agree with Jessi. Some people rely on friends and family as crutches and drop them as soon as they can walk again. It’s incredibly hurtful to feel like you helped somebody get through a darkness just to be disposed of when you get to the light. In those instances, it’s important to remember that life comes in seasons.. and that means the people in it, too. When somebody has fulfilled their purpose in YOUR life, or you’ve fulfilled your purpose in theirs, it can be a beautiful thing to part ways because that means that season is over. For example, my ex boyfriend and I live in towns right next to each other, I know for a fact that we both run errands in each others areas, and I have not once seen that man in 10 years. Our break up was detrimental to me. I was 19, he was my first boyfriend, I was so depressed, I quit my job and accepted a position working on call and made 1/4 of what I was making. Because of that, bills went to collections, my truck was up for repossession. I’m now 29 and I was still asked about those accounts when I bought my house in 2024. I barely got out of bed. I could barely hold it together at work. I’ve had to go to the back and cry it out more times than I’m proud to admit. Eventually we spoke one last time and both got a little closure. His season in my life was over after that, and that last conversation is what it took to end it and move forward. I have not ever seen or spoken to him since. In 2023 I was in another pretty bad relationship. I went to the doc for my annual pap, and they had a form to fill out that was basically a depression questionnaire. Evidently whatever I put on the form wasn’t great, and the nurse practitioner at the office offered me antidepressants. I initially declined. A couple days later I was having suicidal ideations, and I started leaving my gun on my night stand just in case I had the courage to do it one day. That’s when I called back and got help. I started meds, I started therapy, and my entire life changed. To this day I tell everybody that my therapist saved my life. My entire mindset has changed about everything — about relationships, work, home life, how I see and think about myself. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done, and I only wish I went sooner. Now that yall know my entire life story, the whole point of that is to say that I couldn’t be helped until I decided I was ready to be helped. I’m not sure why that spurt of suicidal ideations was the one that pushed me there, but in reality I needed therapy or meds YEARS before, probably even before that ex and I broke up. Nothing anybody could’ve said to me in those 10 years would’ve gotten me to go because I wasn’t ready. Now I’ve graduated therapy and feel the best I’ve ever felt. This is an incredibly long winded comment (so thanks if you’ve made it this far), and now I’m cryin, but if anything I hope this helps somebody someway somehow. I’m sure there were lots of people in that 10 years that felt like I was a bad friend, or that I didn’t have anything to offer. In that 10 years I’ve also experienced a lot more loss, heartbreak, and LOTS of seasons ending. I’ve learned a lot, I’ve grown a lot, and there’s still more to do. The seasons are always changing. 🦋 So if anyone is in a dark place, or loves somebody who’s in a dark place, have hope. Remember it’s not your responsibility to carry anybody through it, they have to want to get through it. Some people don’t make out, and it’s devastating and it’s easy to blame ourselves for not feeling like we did enough. It could take years or an entire lifetime, but you have to be able to find peace in it. If they believed this was the only way out of it or the only way to happiness and peace, we have to believe that their souls are where they need to be to reach it now. Stay strong, hold on, have hope. There is always a reason to get to tomorrow. ❤️

Lexi Estrada

Yeah ofc, everyone has their own lives.

Lexi Estrada

Yeah I think your husband should recognize they’re openly degrading you.

Lexi Estrada

That stops being the case when the “beliefs” are actively harming people.