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[Spill it Girlies] How do you know when you're in love? (Patreon)

Published:
2025-01-31 14:00:08
Imported:
2026-06
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Hey girlies!! Poppin’ in from my closet (don’t mind the background chaos) to answer a Spill it Girlies question from Krista!

Who else has some good advice about knowing when you're in love? Drop it in the comments.

Question: I was wondering when ya'll believe you are truly in love with someone. Is it different than simply loving someone? How do you tell someone you are dating that you love them. How do you not make it all weird and awkward? What is too early (like 3 months or)? I'm spiraling

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Sara Curtin

it feels like a heart condition 🫶🫶

Sara Curtin

also jessi!!! the nails!?!! 😍

Emma Thomson

I accidentally shouted out ‘I love you’ during sexy time with my current partner… tried to play it cool and pretend I didn’t let that slip but we’ve been together 8 years and the man still won’t let me live it down 😂

Ashley

Love was the craziest feeling ever. I knew my husband since I was 10 and I always said like I'm gonna marry this man. I had a kid and we got in contact because he had an extra tv and my toddler at the time broke mine. He came over and it knocked me on my ass. Like I knew my life would just never be the same and I knew it was my chance. Now we're together 10 years and married 8 this year.

Emma Thomson

Also love is deff when your partner lets you use them as an excuse to get out of things. I.e. “just tell them I’m sick and you can’t make it”

Elizabeth Melanson

I haaaated when people would say to me “when you know you know” until it was actually true and immediately i KNEW I was in love when I met my now husband. But thisssss is such a better explanation! Jessi - spot on! I feel this exact same way. I still think to myself wow I love my husband so freaking much, it hurts.

Marweenie

personally for me it has always just felt effortless. Meaning I dont have to try. I am genuinely always having a good time and I constantly crave being around them. Conversations are easy, they make my life much happier and i myself am much happier around them

Lisha

Agreed! I worked with him and I started going to the office early in the morning just to see him more. I am NOT a morning person so I was like “who am I?” 😂 married now so no need to get up early to go see him anymore.

Faith Bryant

I was married for 10 years and thought I was in love, we eventually divorced because he decided he didn’t want to have kids and I did. I met my boyfriend 6 months later, the way my heart felt so connected to him on our first date was insane. When we had to go to our own houses I was so sad because he lived so far away and we would only see each other a couple times a week. I never felt the tingling in my chest before with anyone else, when I see or him or just think about him. He’s the sweetest man ever, and I hate that I waited so long to find him because it feels like I’ve known him forever. We are now expecting our baby girl in a couple months! 💖🥰

Ruby McDonnell

When I met my husband I felt like I was dreaming. Every date, every little moment we shared, every laugh, every tear felt like it was straight out of my dreams. To this day, life feels like a dream with him. I'd never had this feeling before I met my husband. Not to mention, I was going through a tough time when we first met and every day was waiting for an escape from that chapter of my life - he came in and turned the page for me. Sometimes I still can't believe we met each other, and every day I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. ❤️ That, to me, is what true love feels like.

Sade

As Jessi said, like we knew eachother before. Feeling more comfortable with them than I ever had with another partner or potential partner. The longer I held my feelings in, the more it hurt not to say "I love you." When the way they treat you is a breath of fresh air. I finallt understood the saying "when you know, you know." Doesn't mean there's never been rough patches, but I can't imagine a better life with anyone else.

Victoria

We were friends for 3 years (teenage years). He was genuinely my best friend and we just enjoyed being together. When I was about 19 years old, he told me how he felt and suddenly everything clicked for me and I realized how much I loved him. I didn't want to go through life without him by my side. Now we've been together for 11 years and married for 8, have a son together and a baby on the way. <3

Kciri

I've been in a 7-yr LDR... I remember feeling like no matter what happens throughout my day - good, bad and ugly - the first thing I thought about was telling him about it. That was how I knew I was in love. I've never had that with anyone.

Jess_Fae22

I had a long distance relationship for a while, we met over Facebook and once we started talking, we never stopped. He was a friend of a friend so he wasn’t a total stranger, the friend came when I went out to meet him for the first time in person and I just felt a click. I’d turned down guys for a lot of reasons and my husband showed up in my life with an extra large box of Fudge Rounds and never left lol. I told him I loved him 6 months into us knowing each other and bam. We’ve been together almost 9 years now.

Andrea Fowler

Me and my husband have been together for 10 years this year. We are 23 and have been together since we were 13 (math, it's great lol) I completely and totally agree with you. It physically hurts. It's like a missing piece to the puzzle has been found. Someone who you're excited to be around and could sit in complete silence with 24/7 365 and it wouldn't be awkward.

amelia

It felt the exact same way! Missing someone you’ve never met before and it hurts when they are gone, it hurts when they’re there because you have so much love for them. . One time after we hung out, I started crying and literally thought I was crazy, I had zero clue why I felt the way I did. But also we had to grow together to truly know. I feel like the falling in love you never really know what it is or if it’s lasting until you grow together into a really great team. I also feel like women know before the men lol. I knew we were meant to be before he did lol and I see a lot of other women saying the same.

amelia

congratulations!!! 💕💕💕

angie guinn

Ok I haven’t been on here in a good minute. But I agree with you Jessi. That’s how it felt for me. I meet my husband when I was 13. I know a baby. lol. But that’s how it was. We dated, broke up and got back together right before I turned 15. We have been together ever since. Yesterday was our 15 year marriage and 24 years together. We have 2 beautiful kids. I just say go with your gut. Anywho hope everyone is having a wonderful day.

angie guinn

Congratulations. So happy for you.

angie guinn

Congratulations. It’s so beautiful when you have your someone.

Mollie

True love takes time to grow, but the seeds are planted early. If you feel like you need to tell them and say it, do it. Too soon is always better than too late. Just say it, girlie 🩷

Amber

I think it’s love when you genuinely can’t even imagine your life without your person. My husband is my absolute best friend in the world. We truly are two pieces of each other we never knew we were missing. We met on a blog about poetry and he’s Canadian and I’m American. We were together a year before Covid shut down the borders. During that time we called and FaceTimed and texted as much as possible. 16 months later when the borders opened, he hopped on a plane and met me with a ring. It was messy and hard but all through the worst times, there was never a doubt that we were supposed to be together. He makes life easier, not harder. He is home to me. I think that’s when you know. Also, I was itching to say I love him first but I felt so strongly that he needed to be the first to say it. Idk why but I just felt like he needed that. So I was itching to say it for about a week before he said it. When it’s real, you both feel it and it wants to make itself known.

Marcia

I had the exact same experience. Like we "fit". Like our souls were connected in a way. We were both DONE. I had had a talk with my friends about taking a break from dating bc it was just sooooo bad. Turns out he worked 5 minutes from where I worked and we hung out in the same spots for our breaks .... invisible string theory vibes. We met, and pretty much jumped in 😂 (I don't recommend this for everyone) but we moved in 3 months later, got engaged 3 months after that. Had a baby 7 months later 😂 I had no clue I was pregnant when he proposed 😂 I genuinely love this man with every fiber of my beein 😭 now I'm crying 😂

T

I feel like this is very accurate

Kathi

This is such an accurate description of what true, deep love feels like. It literally hurts your heart to some degree, even after years together, because the realization is there that you have found your person, but also the knowledge that you will lose them one day. One of you is going to have to learn to live without the other when death comes. That realization, for me, can feel so scary, but it also helps fuel my desire to be mindful and appreciative of the time we have together in this life. Remembering our time is finite somehow makes the love richer, deeper, yes ... but also, painful.

jill

Her extensions eat down

Michelle Spencer

My husband and I always say we better die at the same time! 😂

Emmy G

The feeling that you knew them before!! That part is so real. It felt like I had known them forever when we had only been friends for several months! We always say we must have known each other is a past life, our 4 year anniversary is this year 🥹

Kathi

My partner and I say this, too! I used to think I wanted to die first so that I wouldn't have to experience the loss of him, but I've changed on this. The thought of him, heartbroken and trying to make it through life without his best friend is just too heartbreaking. I feel as much as it would suck, my outside support system is much stronger than his.

Andrew Giglio

That's a perfect description Jessi. I used to think all the cliches were empty poetry until it happened. It really is distinct.

caroline

JESSI YOU LOOK SO GOOD OMG

Lynn

That was beautiful 🥹💘

kristina erickson

With my hubby it was just that I knew we were going to be together. I missed him in a way I've never missed anyone. I'm vulnerable in a way I've never been. I trust in a way I've never before. It's just this weird certainty in a person I've never had.

Krista Kamcheff

Thank you Jessi for answering my question! I loved hearing what love feels like for you. My girlfriend and I just said I love you and it feels just like how you described it.

annamaezingmeow

Well for starters, it was the first time I'd actually believed I wouldn't be cheated on 😅 our love feels both wild and calm. We act like little kids together 😄

Carrera Kriewald

This is accurate and yes I have felt it multiple times. “I love you so much it hurts” is how it generally feels!

withcharmtospare

CONGRATS ON THE TRIUMPH IN COPYRIGHT COURT GIRLIES!!!

Leaona Oxley

I LOVE the glasses! They suit you so well 💜

Krys P.

Falling in love with my husband snuck up on me. We moved very quickly and everything just felt right (we moved in with each other after 1 month). It was like my heart just knew. It was the best decision I've ever made.

Alexis Levasseur

YOU GUYS WON THE COPY RIGHT CASE?! FUCKKKKK YESS!!!!!!!!!!

Rebecca S

Not this making me cry because it resonates so much with how I feel love 🥲🥲🥲

Krystle

Well let’s see…for me, it was hard smack on the face(tho if you ask him, more like the ass) it was like I didn’t mind sharing my space with him and I wanted to be around him. Where normally I could go a whole week without talking to a single soul and I would be happy. And same for him expect for him, it was cause of his work(graveyard shift). But we just loved spending time together and making stupid jokes. Lol next thing I knew, moved up north to Washington state after like 3 months of dating. Now, we are going to celebrate 10 years together and 7 years married. You just know the feeling with the person is right and almost feels like home..

Charlotte the Nail Tech

I don’t think there is ever a too early, if you know, you know. I met my husband of 6+ years online. We had only been together for 3 months when we got married but my feelings were so intense, I knew he was my soulmate. We are currently expecting baby number 3, also our last. I won’t say it’s always been easy or effortless, love takes work and commitment and relationships go through ups and downs but working through these things and coming out the other side has done nothing but make my relationship stronger. Don’t let others opinions sway your feelings. If you feel like you are in love whether it’s been 1 month or 1 year let yourself feel it, don’t be afraid to say it. As far as being able to tell when I was in love it was similar to what Jessi said, like I had been missing a piece of me my entire life and didn’t know it until I met my love. Once we met it was almost painful to be separated, like my soul was missing my other half. Even after more than 6 years I still get butterflies when he kisses me or touches me. Sex is different when you are in love too. It’s not just sex and it truly is making love. I hope this helps ❤️

Alena Rael

For me it wasn’t like super romantic at all, I was single for a very long time so I very much enjoy my space still 😂 but I know I love him when I want alone time but I still want him to be there next to me.

Narissa Shaul

love those glasses on you Jessie!

Sammy-P

Not to be cringe but the saying, "when you know, you know" rings true to me! It's just a strong pull you feel (thats not just infatuation) that I can't fully describe

Vanessa

My husband made me feel safe. I never used to cry because I didn’t want to be appear weak. My husband held space for every emotion. I never had that with anyone else I was always over explaining myself and I felt like I was trying to convince the men before him why I was deserving of love. But never with him. He’s my person, and I am his 🤍

Cassie K 💖

When I fell in love with my boyfriend, I didn't feel like I had to fight for it. He was just there and ready. He wanted me and made sure I knew it. I didn't feel scared to lose him or that he didn't care. It's been a year and although that's not forever, it feels right. He's the guy who does my laundry when I have a 70 hour work week and I make his lunches. We both listen to each other and he isn't defensive when I have an issue to work out with him. Meeting him completely redefined love for me. All that said, he still is a dude and sometimes he's annoying as fuck and smacks my butt whenever I bend over in his presence.

Cailin Dineen

See i have wondered if maybe my ex and I had different love languages or something but genuinely it just felt like i was always trying to force it and it was so much work. I am so glad you guys are happy and I am so glad he treats you well! Gives me hope that good guys are still out there lol!

Aubrey Papinchock

My experience with love was feeling like I couldn’t spend one night away from them or I would fall apart. And then we had kids and they betrayed me and now I have to just live with that so

Laugh Tale

I used to laugh at my mom saying ”you will just know”…and then it happened. First date, the way his eyes smiled at me. I just knew. I went from needing breaks even from loved ones to recharge to feeling ill if I go even for a day without him.