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[Spill it Girlies] How do I get over my ex if he didn’t do anything wrong? (Patreon)

Published:
2025-08-13 13:07:01
Imported:
2026-06
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Hey girlies! Reporting for Spill it Girlies advice duty. This question comes from Sarah. Stay strong Queen...you're a bad bitch and gonna get through it! ❤️❤️

If any of the girlies have some good advice for Sarah... drop it in the comments!

Question: I was madly in love with my last boyfriend and I thought I would marry him. Our relationship had no actual problems, but he started to pull away and ultimately ended things. How do I get over him if there's not a reason to hate him?

Need advice? We’re still not qualified 🤣 … but feel free to submit using the form https://forms.gle/gUfABeFUqmeoyL767

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Shell

❤️❤️

Alyssa

Honestly they do you a favor regardless if you have a solid reason for the break up or not. Them pulling away is the sign you need. Unfortunately the what ifs will never stop but once you have the right person you will see what was meant for you will be for you.

Mae

It’s so hard because after a break up if it was quite amicable and no one was obviously in the wrong, you still go through the same pain and upset but with no where to point it. As much as it’s not nice when someone does you dirty at least in that case you have someone to point the pain towards and to channel the anger towards, but when there is no clear villain you’re left with the pain and no where to point it. It can be very hard to come to a place of acceptance knowing that that person wasn’t meant to be

Elsa Marina

Honestly, just focus on yourself. I know that’s lame and what everyone says after every break up, but it’s so true. If you are still in contact, break it off. Believe me I stayed in contact with my ex fiancé for three years post break up “staying friends” all it really did was delay my healing. I’m with you queen! We got this!

Christina Pace

Thank you for this advice, Jessi! As someone going through something similar it heartens me to hear this. Best of luck, Sara!

Choley Chole

“Do me dirtier” is so real. I had this problem when I was younger too. I would 100% stop speaking to this person. It doesn’t have to be out of hostility, but the only way to get over someone you still want is to eliminate any reminders. In years you can be friends again. It sounds drastic now, but the time goes by fast and usually by that time you’ve even moved past the idea of being friends.

Michelle Spencer

This is such great advice! Absolutely true--the one for you will always do their best for you and show up. Sending you healing, girly, and an open heart when the time is right. ❤️❤️❤️

Ruby McDonnell

You don't. Stay toxic, girlies ✌🏻😂 jk there's definitely an art to it that I never mastered. lol I always had this feeling of "okay, so it's gotta be a me problem" even if it had nothing to do with me. Us Leos be hella butthurt sometimes and it can be such a bad look 😅 I wish I could reframe my mindset from my past sometimes cause I think the mental gymnastics were a little extreme, but we made it out alive regardless. lol

Shelby

So true! There is nothing you can do to make someone love and commit to you if they’re not ready and willing. You deserve to be chosen! My current partner has shown me that the most important (though obviously not only) characteristic you can look for in a partner is someone who shows up for you, prioritizes your needs and feelings, and is committed to your relationship through thick and thin!!! You will find him girlie!

TanyaElisabeth

All of this advice is amazing. The thing I would add is him pulling away and then ending it, to me it sounds like he’s afraid of his feelings, something he has to work through on his own. You will meet someone worthy of your beautiful heart.

Riley Lynn

His loss, girlie. HIS loss. 💜

Kayla Wolfe

As someone who dated my ex for three years and we had a very amicable breakup this is great advice. I think that was one of the hardest things I went through, and I was the one that broke up with him. It’s so so important but please stay no contact. That’s how you will heal the quickest. It’s okay for things to not be okay in this moment. It’s okay for you to cry to your friends, your mom, and like Jessie said to hold on to hope. You feel like there is no one else out there for you, there is and i promise that. Do things that make you happy, find a journal, a distraction whatever it is. I think it’s important to reflect and heal but don’t let it consume you.

Saruse

I 💯 agree with all of this. As a person also on the other side, I am glad that I didn’t end up with someone who didn’t prioritize me like I prioritize them or vice versa

Melanie Burgess

Yeah I was always the person that was like “if I do all this, I’ll know I did everything to save this relationship”. Why am I the only one saving this relationship! Only saw this in hindsight after also being with someone who choses me in ways I chose him!

Maggie Miller

Omg need more of these lol can we just have some general affirmation sound bytes of the girlies, bc the last 10 seconds of this gave me some much needed warm fuzzies

Brent S

Off topic but I Wish I Hated You by Ariana Grande talks about this topic