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That time I played farmer… and ended up at the eye doctor 👩‍🌾😂 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-04-11 14:37:01
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Tried to impress my husband on a John Deere… ended up at the eye doctor. 🤦‍♀️ At least the ride was nice.

Happy Friday, Friends!

Ever try to impress your partner and totally fall on your ass? Well, here’s a little gem for you.

A few weeks ago, I decided to embrace my inner tractor babe and hopped on our John Deere 1445 like I knew what I was doing. You know—showing off for my husband, wind in my hair, thighs hugging horsepower, thinking “Damn, Susie, you might be cut out for the rugged farm life.”

But then—BAM. Debris straight to the eyeball. (Can you spot the moment?). One moment I’m feelin’ all farmer badass, and the next thing you know, I’m at the optometrist with, luckily, only eyedrops in hand... a lesson in humility. 😂

So now I’m asking you…

What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve done to impress someone—partner, crush, friend, whatever—that totally did not go as planned?

Drop your stories in the comments—bonus points for artistic reenactments.

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That Time I Played Farmer... and Ended Up at the Eye Doctor

That Time I Played Farmer... and Ended Up at the Eye Doctor

Comments

Eric Hegeman

Probably the one with the worst results for me was doing a hand stand on a diving board at a pool party. Probably was, I was completely wasted and my hand slipped, my shoulder got the diving board and dislocated my shoulder

Guy (works)

I've not been into trying to impress others. Pretty nerdy. However, I think I've posted the two times I decided to get a reaction out of the woman who became my wife when we were getting to know each other. At the time I did not know how to move out of a platonic relationship. I twice sort of tested the water by making pretty outrageous comments and got shot down.

Joe

Just last summer I was in my shop and kept having a weird sensation on my scrotum. I dropped trou and discovered a tick embedded behind the scrotum. I grabbed a small flashlight and a pair of needlenosed pliers. Pants down, flashlight in my mouth, and balls in hand I went to work on removing the little bugger. Despite the "restricted area" sign my wife walked in. She was shocked at first until I showed her the problem. She was however impressed that I was using pliers. That Christmas I had a pair of tweezers in my stocking which are now readily available in the shop.

Ron Gaskins

Times that efforts to impress went terribly sideways. My cousin and I were very close growing up. She was the daughter of a fundamental Pentecostal Holiness minister and I was the son of a senior Baptist deacon. She and I both were pushing the boundaries of our upbringings when we were about 16 or 17. Since my uncle had a full-time job in addition to being a pastor, my parents would lend me out to help around my cousin's house during the summer which was an hour away. On one of the visits I had been to the beach the previous week and was boosting about my tan to my cousin. She dared me to show my tan. One day she was at her job at a restaurant and I had finished the yard work early and showered. When I stayed over at their home she and I shared a room...with separate beds of course. Given that it was about the time she would be getting home, I decided to surprise her by being nude and showing off my tan giving a comparison of untanned areas. So I got prepared lying on the bed. Unbeknownst to me the person I thought was my cousin coming home was my Aunt. I waited and after a bit the door opened and in came my Aunt with laundry. Needless to say, we were both speechless. I am not sure which of us moved the quickest. It goes without saying that it did not go over well. There were definitely some ground rules laid out for my future visits. But, my cousin and I continued to push the boundaries. And we did compare tans.

Raymond G. Cornell

I had a wardrobe malfunction during a tri-meet when I ran track in HS circa 1988 that was an embarrassing hurt but was truly hilarious when I think about it Those "uni-sex" shorts didn't hold up too well going commando during the 4 x 100 - I was 2nd leg (back in the day the fastest ran 4th) and was running in front of a packed home crowded when my penis fell out and had me ringing heels bells As I went to give the 3rd leg ( the baton and not my dick) he grabbed the correct stick - wr had these bushes along the outside lane - I ran straight for them and thought no one saw that - welp, I was wrong lol- when I walked back out from bleachers being "coy" i.e calm cool & collected - the entire stadium was echoing with laughter- all the spectators, competitors, faculty & staff with my coaches and teammates saw my baby maker makes it's track debut with an ode to ancient Roman track times of a bygone centuries old era My ex GF whom also ran wasn't happy with her man's junk slapping against his leg (she should have been proud and not thinking other people would want me for my attitudes lol) and one of my teammates, Greg from football chilling by the discus ring made mention of "it must be huge" I because he saw it slapping from across the field to aforementioned discus ring from the lane I was running in lol Another teammate for both track and football's mom, said she never eyewitness anything like this malfunction while laughing her ass off Anyhooters, I still get shit for "winning a race by a head" and I am glad social media didn't exist back in '88 - it def would have gone viral For the rest of my track career I wore spandex for every race after that incident and made sure it was in compliance with rules and regulations lol

DVM-David

Dr Susie!!! That was some pretty thick field grass/straw you were cutting there - maybe raise the mowing deck a notch or two - ALWAYS wear eye protection/glasses when you are cutting that kind of field just to be safe (with grass or straw that thick, that kind of debris can really do a number on your eyes) and watch the direction of the discharge chute so you don't inadvertently throw debris and hit someone or something with what is being cut - that is a serious mower with a really large mowing deck!!! You go GIRL!!! You got this!!!! As for stories I really don't have any other than a photo from back in HS - I was the starting pitcher for our baseball team and lettered all four years - I got into basketball during that time and probably should have played on the team earlier but I wanted to make sure I had my studies in check and to not overextend myself since baseball was really my sport - my senior year I went out for the basketball team - since I attended an all-boys HS we didn't really worry too much about our uniforms, how we looked or anything but when my wife saw one of the few photos they got of me on the basketball court she immediately commented on the "tight" basketball shorts - I had no idea what she was talking about until she said she could clearly make out my "package" visible through the shorts. Again, being a guy, we never looked at each other and never gave a second thought about what we were wearing but she will never let me live down THAT photo!!!

Dr. Susie Gronski - Doctor of Physical Therapy
>>170908107

Thanks, David! I quickly realized this after my first attempt to play farmer. 😂 Safety first! I went to an "all girls" HS too! It's funny how your wife's eyes took notice of your "package" in your photo. As you said, it's normal for body parts to poke out a bit with tighter fitting clothing—just like breasts. 😜

Robert C.

Nice form. You looked happy and it seemed everyone else was. The dog definitely seemed most concerned 😅

Anita Ram

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