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Sex tip: Schedule Sex (Patreon)

Published:
2026-02-17 13:07:01
Imported:
2026-10
Tags:

Content

Some people worry that putting sex on the calendar takes away spontaneity. In real life, it often does the opposite. When time is protected, your brain and body get a heads-up that connection is coming. Desire has room to warm up instead of being expected to appear on demand.

Scheduling sex is not about obligation. It is about creating space for touch, curiosity, and pleasure to unfold on purpose. Spontaneity can still happen inside the container you set.

Do you find scheduling sex helps if you and partner have mismatched working or desire schedules?

Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Files

Comments

Mark Y.

My wife and I struggled with initiating and communication around sex for a long time, which led to arguments and resentment. Something we started doing that has been a game changer: I bought her a necklace that has a hidden key inside it. She shopped and bought me some sexy men's underwear. When we get up in the morning now, either one of us can set them out for each other. So when I want sex later in the day, I'll grab her necklace and put it on her and tell her to go pick me out some underwear. When she wants to initiate, she'll set a pair of said underwear out for me to put on and let me know she's wearing the necklace. It's simple, but it's become our little nonverbal, easy way to initiate and plan sex without it being boring. Now when I see those underwear waiting for me, I know whats coming later that evening. It's awesome. And my wife loves it because she says every time she feels the key against her skin it makes her think about me, and gets her going throughout the day. Highly recommend coming up with something fun like this. It's worked wonders for us.

Crenshaw

At our age (mid 70s), after my prostate cancer side effects and her age related women's issues, as well as my need for Cialis and her need for lubricants, scheduling and preparation is a given. But the lack of spontaneity is far outweighed by the fact that sex is still possible, desired and enjoyed by both of us 50 years after our first time together.

Steve J

Scheduling sex, especially as an older couple helps us keep the spark alive and can even be a form of foreplay. As others have said, bodily changes can affect libido and other things that can hamper spontaneous sex.

Dr. Susie Gronski - Doctor of Physical Therapy

Ah yes. Resentment tends to run deeper than a brief wave of anger or frustration. Anger can pass. Resentment sticks around. When we hold onto it, replay the story, and feed the grudge, it can start to color how we see the whole relationship. We begin interpreting things through that lens. It creates distance. It can make us defensive or even divisive. I’m so happy that you and your wife worked through those challenges and found a bonding activity that works for both of you. You leaned into the discomfort instead of avoiding it and turned it around. That’s not easy. Awesome work.