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Girlfriend Roasts You (Patreon)

Published:
2025-12-08 23:00:06
Edited:
2026-04-03 14:01:14
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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this is a joke lol love you! <3

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Comments

Iman Afshari

Roasts me? I better hope she's making me roast! 🥰

AmishAndy

Okay, but the Godzilla one was really good ngl

AmishAndy

NOT THE BOOM SOUNDS! LMAO 🤣🤣🤣

Itspsycho697

As long as it’s Miss Sweetness roasting me then I’m ok with it 🌝😊😂

Aaron

Roast? I’ve been roasted since I was born lol😆

Justin Matijssen

This sounds like compliments compared to the guys groupchat

M Montoya

Jokes on you I don’t have lights. I only wear black, brown, and gray. This is so coot. I love it. Thank you YJG!

Ren

((This audio was hilarious, and painfully true in many ways)) He clears his throat theatrically. “—Count 1: Crimes against skincare. Count 2: First-degree Godzilla snoring. Count 3: Laundry negligence. Count 4: Questionable music taste in the first degree. Count 5: Vegetable avoidance and pickle-based self-delusion. Count 6: Fashion manslaughter—‘ragamuffin while in possession of a perfectly good face.’” She’s already giggling, forehead resting against his shoulder. He gently tips her chin up so he can look her in the eyes, still wearing his mock-serious expression. “To all charges,” he says, “the defendant pleads: totally guilty… and extremely grateful.” “Grateful isn’t a legal term,” she snorts. “It is in our court,” he says. “I throw myself on the mercy of the girlfriend-chan.” He continues: “Because,” he goes on, “yes, before you: – I thought body wash was a universal solvent. – I thought snoring was just… a fact of nature, not a kaiju event. – My laundry system was ‘is it mostly clean and within reach.’ – My playlists used to be wall-to-wall melancholic dudes and boss themes; now I’m that guy who says, “Oh, this singer? Yeah, that’s my girlfriend.” (YJG has her own music, sings, has her own Spotify, and has musical acumen) – And my idea of vegetables was the garnish they put on ramen.” He continues... "– Now I have skin that doesn’t peel like old wallpaper. – I am sleeping better because my girlfriend cared enough to fix my Godzilla problem, better pillow, and other things. – Girlfriend-chan mercifully guided my choices, clothes so theyt match and make people say ‘you look nice’ instead of ‘are you okay.’ – And it's your fault, girlfriend-chan, that I am now eating things that are green on purpose. – I am grateful for your music enlightenment - with soul-satisfying music that doesn't make my friends unfollow my Spotify playlist en masse. “And most importantly,” he says, expression softening, “I walk around every day looking like a guy who is obviously, ridiculously loved by an actual human girl who is way out of his league. He finishes -- "Sweetie, May I give you a foot massage for the first instance of appreciation to you?"

KG Tramp

I use laundry detergent for a bubble bath so I can wash my clothes at the same time

KG Tramp

Them final shots sounds like home…life in Georgia

Roland in Dreamland

Yes, it's true that I've started eating vegetables... but only leeks. I eat them as soon as you buy them. I somehow feel safer when there aren't any in the kitchen.😅

KG Tramp

Used to dry my skin out…but I started using fabric softener

Sorano

most of them are correct but what are vegetables???????????????? (drops the mic and sit in the corner to think about what he did wrong to upset my beautiful tenshi)

CloverGirl

OMGGGG IM IN LOVE WITH THISSSS THANK YOU FOR BLESSING USS AND KEEPING THE BOYS HUMBLE MISS YJG 😂😂😂😂

Your Japanese Girlfriend♡

😂😂😂 you are welcome clover girl!!! It’s hard work but someone’s gotta do it!!!😮‍💨🤣🤣💖💖