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CLUB LANG SYNE - JANUARY 4, 2026 (Patreon)

Published:
2026-01-04 19:46:19
Imported:
2026-06

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  • CLUB ELLEN 4 JAN 2026.mp3

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Content

Hello. It's saturday somewhere. Well, being in a podcast is what we do here. 100% professional podcast. And that means topics and segments. And here you will find both ha ha ha ha ha, no question about it! Fan favorite segment FIRESIDE CONFESSIONS, retooled slightly for the special occasion: New Year's. What are your "resolutions"? Ha ha ha! And then of course there are some calls — homophobia at work, things that have been lost and are missed, and the state of gay pornography today. Everybody will be loving it, there is no question about it...and much more. Happy New Year, or "lang syne" as they call it in Scotland.

Files

Comments

Jo

Happy New Year divas!!!!

vic

Am I too early to get my cock out?

Russalka

Happy new year, It's your year happy Not the new

Ian (age withheld)

Hello from Scotland, where indeed the locals linked hands with me on Hogmanay and sang Auld Lang Syne

Jo

Please please let this be covered

Jo

New year, new cock

Isak

Enigma popstar is fun, she play podcast in eardrum

Derek

Should uncle Johnny be forgot and never brought to mind?

Christian Farley

Horror really relaxes it freaks all my friends out

Javi

Pituitary J Blige. Are your hormones balanced?

Jo

🩷

John

I was raised in the back of a cab

Gwen Stefani

Get your dune pussy buckets out!!! And keep making those smoothies!

river

my canvas is out and i’m ready to smear

Javi

Seancé Knowles. Do you believe in ghosts?

Caitlin C.

should old acquaintance be forCOCK

David

On the topic of sand movies; I think you ladies would like Sirât which came out in the past year, if you haven't seen it already

Pe er

I actually celebrate New Years differently from everyone else, I celebrate on January 4th

Jo

Old L-androgyne

Jo

By divas I mean hosts and listeners alike, obviously

Cara

Get your cups of kindness out

Jo

January 6?

Serena

Get those hockey sticks out

M

Get your smoothie-istas out and add an extra banana to the blueberries!!! 🏒🏒

BigGayJack

Get your crabs out. It’s time to scuttle.

Joe B

Home Alone 2 🐀

Christopher Biscoe

FUCK I remember XL. Went there once with a friend, ordered a white russian, and danced too much. Then I went home alone

Pete Sweenis

crab meat has me trembling with fear omg

BigGayJack

Also for family dramas: August Osage County.

BigGayJack

On Golden Pond is the Fonda’s one!

Joe B

Re: filthy animals

Grady

Home alone 2 is called “Mommy I missed the plane again” in French. IMMM SO STUPIIIID.

Storm

That Jonah guy is the first porno gay gay I've ever come to truly hate

Nils

Glad you two had the same reaction to this Jonah guy as me 😭

Storm

Greased up freak vs slicked up front

Isak

Pretty sure that b*g d*ck cl*rk guy has a podcast where he brings guests on to talk about goon and fuck fleshlights. Lemmekillmyself

Storm

Spit smelling mormons is the craziest thing to drop right at the end

Christ

ashley jugg's homemade down on the farm sasparilla

Go-Go “Juice”

He does, it’s called “gooniversity” and it’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen

Isak

Sinister

Pat

MORMON SPIT 🤣 oh my god it’s going to be a good year fuck me in my ear Jesus

Drew

Get your crab meat out…it’s time to worry

Theo

In my mind Tootsie and Reba are one and the same

Jo

‘Thank god’

Jo

Did you do short skit in college?

,

Macys blue crab🩵

Master Stroke

“Aw” is a classic popper gooning sound

Theo

Am I the only one who pictures every gay guy caller as a slightly paunchy but cute 30-something bear type

Luke

i took my cock out as soon as theda started “since time immemorial…”

Josh H.

Juicy toot!

EJ

Brb gotta make egg salad in my blender

Lou

my baby’s got an our little seacrest

Henry

My morbid curiosity got the better of me….OMG

Henry

Show off Jonah (crab)

reagan

Theda “Old Scout” Hammel

Alex G

No no im right there with you mama

Oni

Macy, no game is lost forever. You can always emulate the game on a pc. Fmhy

Kurt Fraser

Theda do you want to guest and do the neuroanatomy lecture in the course I teach

Gooner

Ignore my username lol.. I just listened to some of that and omg it feels like satire its incredible please review it or put some on the soundboard

Jordyfish

RETURN OF MUHAHAHA SOUND!

Javi

I'll fall asleep to Theda just lovingly saying "Look at that pie"😩 if only a suitor would say that to me😛

Javi

I'm erect, why aren't you?

Henry

The crackling fire and sound editing of this one really let me escape to the theatre of the mind ❤️

John

Right

Globcast

just hearing the Jonah twitter gay made my blood run cold

John

Bug like an angel in the bottom of my smoothie blender

Xander

I’m so happie jonah wheeler finally made it here

Bricky Lake

A hermit crab in the neovagina is one of the 4 pillars of womanhood, your surgeon is being transphobic

Bricky Lake

primary industry in northern bc is likely mining or forestry

Josh H.

Millie Bobby Flay Brown Bon Jovi

David B

Omg touch me RIGHT there x

DMT Cart

You’ve popularized the noun-usage of ‘faggot pussy’ — like, ‘Where’s the faggot pussy at?’ — and you deploy it like a wink and a dare. So be real: is this you reclaiming something as a queer provocation, or are you just throwing gasoline on a slur and calling it camp because you know people will talk?

M

Actors today need more stick

Caitlin C.

i saw someone mad about a “homophobic” joke one of the heated rivalry actors made on insta before he was famous and it was like… completely average thing you hear from straight guys and gay guys 30 times a day.

nick

i love that video…

gay sully

Dang I can’t remember who Frank is …. can someone recall? We need to start a Nymphowars wiki

Tati Beauty Puff

they dont really try to approximate to a vagina with srs, they just print out a picture of crab salad

Bonnie Blue

I love Sarah Jessica Parker playing a Cunt in the Family Stone @gaycaller

Violet Monroe

Lana and Lilly Wachowski spotted going full matrix in the macrobiotic restaurant.

Lloyd

If you look up her skirt, you Macy Crabmeat

roboboy

wasn't focusing and listened to the whole bit thinking it was Ryan Cummings

whit

Beth and Marlenes pies with help from Grandpa Dick

Elizabeth Highschool

If your pussy starts to look fuckable and suckable, call me immediately

Spooky Spain

Hate to admit that I’ve seen this Jonah guy before! It’s undeniably cringe, but I feel like that’s part of what makes it appealing. Talking about sex so matter of fact-ly while doing it just feels so alien that it’s almost a kink in itself. I think Theda is on to something though about cringe replacing the shame people no longer feel. Maybe I’m brain-rotted but I kind of get it…

Nathan

They would literally kill you if you did that.

Antoni

slicked up fronts to the front of the line, crabs to the back

Gwen Stefani

It’s looking like Crab Meat!

sop

Google searching “porn jonah twitter” and getting a virus on my computer!!!! Worth it!!!!

Bricka Tuna

I had to poop at the gym restroom and I hate it because before the poop there’s sometimes a fart, like this time, and as I farted I heard someone go ’let it all out’ and they sounded exactly like Macy’s southern accent, so this ep gave me ptsd.

Debbie Rossclot

kani maki horny, baby? 🇬🇧 🦀 🍣

Craig

forgive those who trespass forgainst you as you trespass against us and never forgive showoffjonah 💙

jesusluvsyouuu

I was almost certain Ryan Seacrest would be Vecna!!!

covered in scoop

did theda draw another tarot card for the year? i want to see death's 3 year reign

Noah

Macy I love the family stone omg

Noah

oh my god. my friend and i hate showoff jonah so fucking much. i saw him at bam once and almost left but then he went into a different theater

Gina

You cowards don’t want to admit you know the “merry Christmas ya filthy animal” reference! I’ll say it! Home alone and home alone 2!!

Josh H.

See this is why you should never hear porn stars talk. Pops the fantasy bubble.

Josh H.

The conversations you two have are my Eywa, and it shoots right up my vegas (vagus?) nerve hair braid.

Benji

On Golden Pond!!!

Benji

“Murder She Wrote”. The entire series. It’s really good. Leaving this here for all you millennials and genz-ers….☮️❤️

Terry Gross

Has anyone heard from Raspberry lately? I’m getting worried

Hayley

After suffering through Anthony Fantano’s review of Marty Supreme I am BEGGING for a pig pen round up. Theda I know you have thoughts and opinions I need to hear

nymphowarsxxx

This is what i meant to say but instead said “Bridges of Madison County”!!!!

nymphowarsxxx

There is NOTHING matter of fact about show off jonah

nymphowarsxxx

We’ve never said “faggot pussy” thats disgusting

Tati Westbrook

he really does have a dark demonic energy

Fikir Derese

This random ass briefcase story is so funny theda

LS

The best way to be gay

Sydney Austin

Still broken up about the closing of Pat and Oscar’s in San Diego :(

Troy

Omg no one lives forever mentioned! Deeply formative pc gaming experience

Troy

Omg sorry ice storm mentioned!! For some reason have been ranting and raving abt this movie all festive season

roboboy

I HATE SHOW OFF JONAH TOO

Dave

Sucking dick and clark

DMT Cart

Malicious gay faggotry

BigGayJack

It’s so good! Got Cathy Hepburn too! Ya old poop

BigGayJack

It’s my mom and i’s favorite Christmas movie xoxo

Hunty

faggot faggot

Hunty

my favorite

Roople

The way Show off Jonah talks reminds me of that AI tiktok voice. Weirdly upbeat but with no actual human emotion behind it. Maybe he’s not even a real person…

Jo

Omg yes

Jo

Is this phishing (crabbing)

Jo

Ordering crab?

Hadrien

Hernia repair is bottom surgery when you think about it. Why, it's all about a "front hole" if you want to get granular!

Quinn

The girl in the last clip is smiling so big because she’s listening to Club Ellen :)

Terry Gross

The words “show off Jonah” sent the most primal, ancient evil chill down my spine. Never do that to me again please

Kev

god i love the family stone

Benji

I was Screaming into my phone………🤣☮️❤️🐷🐷🐷

Russalka

Theda's fabulous cover of Losing You by Solange... This song brings IT!

Russalka

"OH, ALL THE TRUTH, BOY, ARE YOU GIVING ME YOUR WOOD!?"

M

Totally reminded me of Gwyneth saying “I’m not familiar with that, no…”

Sean

Bottom surgery post-op instructions in a post-Stranger Things culture: please do not be concerned if it looks like Vecna

Calamity Jack

It was less distressing listening to the foley work and picturing Dick Clark fucking a pie than it was picturing him eating one. Five stars.

Go-Go “Juice”

Speaking of the disgustingness of the descriptor “crab meat” it’s always grossed me out that they call it “lump” crab meat

Megan M. Metzger

I remember watching Dick Clark’s last rockin nye when i lived in Astoria and I could hear Train playing hey soul sister from my apartment and Dick frenched his wife so hard. Whatta country

Jacob

Can we keep having Walter Benjamin minute please? Wish I was joking

Nickerbockers

Anyone know what that sting is at 1:10:50 when theda says it's a fool's game

goooooooooob

I've totally pirated and played all three no one lives forever games macy I can help you Edit: The third game is pretty bad though

Freyja

“Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal” is a line from the action movie he watches in home alone 2 :)

Dave

Arcades project for February BBL !!!!!!!

Trey C

i love this skit and bit heavy ep🥰

Marsi

I Guess i didnt really listen to this one first time around because I don’t remember you guys eating Dick Clark’s marshmallow out of a pie

Carl

Off topic but where's the "he sounds like a faggot" clip from?

Pat

I think a knot released in my back only a revenge driven masseuse could get out when I heard the analysis of SHOW OFF JONAH. I remember why I chose to drink now, wow well thank you for that rush of joy. I will hit a meeting and hold on to this episode harder than I do my little cock. ♥️

Pat

This is a compliment btw lol just to be clear and I do indeed have a little penis ♥️

Chris Miller

To Live (1994) is a great Chinese Civll war family drama. Very unrelenting but has a hopefulness to it

Julia

Yes the club needs more Frankfurt School philosophy. I think Theda was talking about reading Adorno a few months back

Henry

Oh, my, god

Jake

Millie Bobbie Flayer

Luke

Jonah wheeler is wretched and rotten and I’m so glad you are talking about it 😭

Nick

i ALSO think of those alien twins any time i think of Souen!!! i thought they were a hallucination omg

Javi

You have a beautiful mind