TGIS: My Beige Flags (Patreon)

Hello and happy SATURDAY, patrons! How is everyone doing? Well, I hope! And if you're not well, well that's okay too. The sun has finally poked it's hot face out after what feels like weeks of hiding and I squealed this morning like a twenty year old covered in conservative sequins in the audience of the Eras tour. There she is! That sun of a bitch!

I'm currently writing this post from bed and whenever I bring my laptop into bed I feel like that woman from Sex in the City. Which, after Googling, is  apparently called Sex AND the City?? What?! Did I know that??! I've never seen a single episode of that show but for some reason I have it burned in my brain that it's about a pleasantly whiney mop-haired woman typing on her laptop from bed while wearing some sort of outrageous raincoat dress that looks like it was made from the unconventional items challenge on DragRace. That's what Sex AND the City is about, right?

Anyway, speaking of learning things from the internet, I learned a new thing this week. "Beige flags". Have we heard of these things? I'm sure you've heard of beige flags, if I'm just learning about it you've probably known about them for months lol. Apparently it's been floating around TikTok for over a year and according to the Google it was meant "to help single people identify signs on dating apps that someone might be really boring." Now it's been used "to describe romantic partners’ weird habits that are less than a deal breaker, but not exactly a plus, either." It's the stuff that makes you go hmmm .... and then keep going. The image alone of a beige flag reminds me of dirty laundry so it's almost like airing out slightly stained laundry. It's not fully dirty, just soiled. Or, they almost seem like unoffensive "couldjas". Either way, it's got me thinking about my own beige flags. So I've started to make a list of what comes to mind. I'm unsure as to whether this is a healthy activity to do, but let's give it a try. I'm unclear if exposing your own beige flags goes against their essence, but maybe this will be cleansing! An airing out of some soiled flags. (I'm sure you know a lot of these already)

-I always make a note for food delivery to "please leave the order in my driveway" but even as I see they're about to drop off I scurry away from the front door so they don't see me sprawled out in my living room in only a Comfy

-I often wear my Comfy oversized blanket sweatshirt like an actual shirt

-When Elliott is telling a story sometimes I get too excited and blurt out the end before he has a chance to finish (this is something I'm working on! 🙃)

-I've stopped biting my nails but when I'm nervous I pick, click, and flick the tops of my newly grown nails until Elliott gently puts a hand on my hands like a priest after offering communion (the Catholics will get it) silently indicating for me to stop

-I confidently use "behoove" incorrectly in sentences (I fucking love that word but 2 out of 3 times, turns out, I use it completely wrong - still fucking love that word)

-I'm never in the mood to spend an hour and a half watching a movie but I am ALWAYS down to spend (at least) 6 hours watching an entire season of a reality show

-If I start a docu-series or reality show I have to finish it in that same sitting, or at least finish it the next night or two...I can't switch to a different program when the narrative of that series hasn't been wrapped up yet! It's also because I want to Google everyone involved but I don't want to get spoilers before the program's over

-Apparently, I drop prepositions. About a year or two ago Elliott pointed out, in a laughy loving way, that I drop prepositions when I talk or text. Which I didn't understand AT ALL. Until he showed me that I say/text things like "I'm done school" instead of "I'm done with school" or “are you done your sandwich?” instead of “are you done with your sandwich?”. I mostly leave out the word 'with'. Maybe it's a south Jersey/Philly thing? Which would be funny to me since I've worked hard to pronounce "wAHter" instead of "wUDDer" in my adult life and now suddenly here's this other unknown regionalism that's been here the whole time

-I never eat cereal in a bowl with milk in the morning, I eat it at night on the couch straight out of the box with my hands like a lil raccoon while I'm high and on my 4th straight hour of Selling Sunset

-I have probably 30-40 different types/pairs of shoes in my closet but only wear maybe 3-4 in rotation

-I have to write/work in silence. Occasionally I'll throw on some lo-fi beats, but even they can be too distracting. If Elliott turns on his video game quietly in the living room I have to ask him to put headphones in or I'll put on my own noise cancelling headphones without any sound. Alternatively, if there's absolutely no sound, no street noise or an AC unit or a fan, I can't work either. I need some sort of gentle, non distracting hum. My sensory sensitivity has definitely grown in the last few years, anyone else?

-My house is riddled with incomplete projects. I have peel n stick wallpaper and new bathroom fixtures that have been sitting in boxes for over 7 months because I think I need someone else to install them but I haven't made a call. I'm partially holding off because I think one day I'll magically wake up with the confidence to do it all myself so I won't need to interact with a new, more capable stranger. It's the classic creative/adhd brain that loves new ideas and walks away from the follow through

-Y'all already know this but I'm obsessed with my princess monster of a dog being comfortable at all times and have beds and blankets for her in every room of our house. Even if we have people working on something in our home and she has to be sequestered I sit in the room with her so she doesn't have to be alone - the bitch is 💁🏼‍♀️SPOILED 💁🏼‍♀️

Whew okay those are just a few beige flags that come to mind and honestly that was kinda fun and also a little challenging. And I'm not entirely sure these are beige flags or just my anxiety avoidances and hyper fixations, sprinkled with some lack of education about the english language. It makes you question what's 'green' and what's 'red' what's 'beige'? And maybe that's the big philosophical take away from this tiktok meme. It's a conversation starter on what even is nOrMaL? Cute! Well now I'm obviously curious about your beige flags. Or your partner's or your family member's tainted fabrics. What are people up to that's a little 🤔 or 🤣 but not 😱 or 🤯? Let me know (but only if you feel so inclined)! Alright, y'all, this whiney mop-haired bed blogger has to get her day started! I hope you have nice weekends! And thanks, as always, for being here! 💚G