Chapter 34 (Patreon)

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"The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion."

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Chapter 34

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The path into the Earnst Region was dry, flat, and blanketed in the kind of cold that wasn't quite snow-worthy, but just bitter enough to make you miss the sun. Unlike the gentle warmth of the Weise Region, where grass had shimmered and gold literally lined the streets, this place felt… quieter. Less magical. Less alive.

Naruto kicked a rock out of his way and sighed dramatically. "We're officially out of the land of golden roads and into the realm of cracked lips and crunchy bread."

"Golden roads weren't edible," Fern muttered.

"Yeah, but at least they didn't try to break my teeth!" he said, pulling out a pathetic hunk of the dry travel bread they'd been gnawing on for days. He held it up like it had personally wronged him. "Seriously, this is bread-shaped betrayal. Even the rats wouldn't touch it!"

Stark, trudging alongside him with his usual unbothered expression, shrugged. "It's edible."

"So is dirt if you try hard enough," Naruto fired back.

As they rounded a curve in the road, a village appeared at the base of a low hill. Modest, quiet, maybe two dozen homes and some fields stretched behind them—fields that, even from a distance, looked like they had been recently… torn up?

"Oh thank gods," Fern said under her breath. "A village. Maybe they have soup. Real soup."

Naruto's eyes sparkled with hope. "Maybe… meat?"

"No way," Stark said. "Not up here."

"Let me dream!"

As they neared the entrance, an elderly woman stepped out from behind the outer fence. She looked old, yes—gray hair tied back in a tight bun, face wrinkled like a dried apple—but there was nothing frail about her. Her back was straight, and her eyes were sharp like broken glass.

"Adventurers," she called out, her voice crisp, "are you confident in your abilities?"

Frieren answered casually, as if they were discussing the weather. "More or less."

"Then," the old woman said, approaching with a solemn nod, "may I dare to ask your mission?"

"We're headed north," Frieren said, stepping forward. "But we're open to work if there's something troubling you."

The woman's lined face tightened. "Then allow me to be honest. At night, something—or someone—comes into our fields. Not every night, but enough that the crops have been ruined. Shredded. Trampled. Sometimes clawed. We're simple farmers. If this keeps up, we'll have no harvest, and the village won't survive the winter."

Stark scratched his cheek. "Monster problem?"

"We don't know," she admitted. "We've set traps. Lit fires. Even posted men with spears. It doesn't stop. Always happens between the second and third bell. Always vanishes before dawn."

Fern nodded. "Sounds like it's intelligent. Or careful."

Naruto cracked his knuckles. "Sounds like a problem we can solve."

But Frieren, of course, had one thing on her mind. "Do you have any grimoires?"

Naruto let out a long, tired groan. "You would ask that."

The old woman looked confused. "We have a small library. Mostly old spellbooks, dusty things we've collected over time. Most of the spells inside are… well, perhaps completely useless."

Frieren's eyes glinted like a cat staring at a mouse caught in a glass jar. "Perfect," she whispered, her voice slightly unhinged.

Naruto stared at her. "You're more excited about some moldy book on magically softening hay than helping people, aren't you?"

"Soft hay is very comfortable to sleep on," she replied, completely serious.

Naruto facepalmed. "Of course it is."

"Well," the old woman said, clearly unsure whether to be encouraged or alarmed by this crew, "you're welcome to stay at the inn for the night. If you can stop whatever's destroying our crops, you may take anything from our library. Freely."

Frieren smiled. "Then we'll get to work."

Naruto sighed as he adjusted his staff on his back. "Guess I'll have to wait a little longer for that meat…"

Stark patted him on the shoulder. "Think of it this way. If we solve this, we'll probably be offered a real meal."

Naruto's stomach growled. Loudly.

"…Let's go catch us a crop-destroying freak," he said, eyes suddenly burning with determination.

And just like that, Team Elven Chaos was back in business.

Õ—T—Õ

They crouched behind a thicket of bushes, the dried stalks scratching against their arms as they lay in wait, eyes scanning the shadowed field. The moon was a thin sliver above, barely enough light to see by, and the only sounds were the chirp of insects and the occasional croak of a frog… and, of course—

"Ugh," Naruto swatted at his neck, "why are these mosquitoes everywhere? I swear one just flew into my mouth."

"You're welcome," Frieren said casually, not even looking up from her grimoire. "I cast a repellent spell. Otherwise, they'd be twice as annoying."

Naruto scowled. "Hag, I always say your spells are useless. This mosquito one's not impressive—it's just barely helpful."

Frieren turned to him with a smug grin. "And yet you're using it."

"Shut up, hag."

She smirked and went back to pretending she wasn't quietly pleased.

Time passed slowly, the field mostly still. They sat in the dry weeds, breath shallow, barely whispering. Until—

Squish.

The faint but distinct sound of mud shifting caught their attention. It came from the far side of the field—something pushing the wet earth aside, moving awkwardly, sluggishly, like it didn't fully know how to walk.

Naruto and Fern immediately tensed. They scanned with their mana perception—but... nothing.

"Not demonic," Fern whispered, confused.

"I don't sense any bloodlust," Naruto added, frowning. "It's not a monster, either."

The thing emerged into view moments later, and what they saw made everyone blink in unison.

It was a creature—tall, serpentine in shape, with a long, sinuous body that glided against the ground. It had two oddly long arms, stiff and clunky, moving like sticks held by a child playing pretend. Strapped to its back was a basket—an old, rotting one with a gaping hole in the bottom. The creature would gently reach out, pick up a stalk of wheat… and place it in the basket, where it promptly fell right back out behind it.

Then it repeated the process.

Again. And again.

"…That's not even destroying the crops," Fern said. "It's just... picking them and wasting them."

"It's trying to harvest," Naruto said slowly. "But it's not working."

"That," Frieren said, already standing and walking forward, "is a golem. A really old one."

Naruto blinked. "Wait—you're just walking out there?!"

"It's harmless," she waved a hand lazily. "Come on."

The others scrambled to their feet and followed. As they got closer, Stark tilted his head, watching the golem repeat its pitiful little loop.

"…What even is this thing?" he asked.

Õ—T—Õ

Frieren stepped a bit closer to the odd, serpentine creature as it continued its confused cycle of "harvesting" crops with absolute futility. She observed its cracked frame, rusting joints, and weathered basket as if examining an old friend who had aged far too quickly.

"This type of golem was used during the time of the Unified Kingdom," she explained, brushing her hand against its metallic side. "They were designed for one purpose: cooking."

"Cooking?" Naruto asked, squinting like she'd just told him the thing was made for interpretive dance. "This thing?"

"They were efficient in their time. People were too busy with matters of statecraft, war, magic research… you name it. Cooking was considered a luxury some couldn't afford."

Stark looked between her and the robot. "Wait—Unified Kingdom? You mean the Great Kingdom that fell over a thousand years ago? That one?"

"Exactly," Frieren nodded.

Just then, the golem stopped its pathetic attempts at harvest, turned its creaky head toward them, and in a static-laced monotone said:

"Your request?"

Naruto flinched. "It talks?!"

"It's asking for a food order," Frieren said simply, like this was just a vending machine from ancient times. "It must've been stuck in the harvesting phase due to the hole in the basket. It can't collect ingredients, so it's been repeating the task endlessly, never able to move to the next command."

There was something almost tragic about that—like an actor repeating a line forever because no one said "cut."

"When I was apprenticed under Master Flamme, we used these all the time," she continued, her voice softer now. "We were obsessed with studying magic. Cooking by hand was out of the question. But Master once told me... that she dreamed of a time when people would cook for those they love. That such an era would mean peace had arrived."

She smiled faintly.

"Well, this era did arrive. People do cook now. But if someone saw this thing today, they'd just scream 'monster' and burn it down."

Frieren raised her hand, mana sparking gently at her fingertips. "We should shut it down before the villagers see it and panic."

But before she could cast, Naruto stepped forward.

"Wait," he said.

The golem turned to him. He stared back into its dim, unfocused mechanical eyes.

He didn't know why he did it. He couldn't even explain the words that slipped from his mouth.

"Release vault."

CLICK.

With a sound that felt like a century of dust being broken, the golem's torso suddenly split open… and a metallic compartment slid forward like a drawer.

Everyone froze.

"Wh—What the hell?" Stark said, jumping back.

Even Frieren paused, her spell dissipating mid-cast. "That... shouldn't have worked."

Fern blinked. "Mr. Naruto, how did you do that?"

"I… I dunno," Naruto muttered, staring at his own hand like it had just done something without asking. "I just… felt like I'd seen it before. Like I knew that command."

"Could it be…" Frieren murmured, narrowing her eyes at him. "No. That'd be too convenient…"

Stark, curiosity outweighing caution, stepped forward and looked inside the open drawer. He reached in—and pulled out a steaming, fragrant bowl of thick golden soup.

"A soup? A thousand-year-old soup?" he blinked. "That's... that's impossible."

Frieren leaned in, inspecting the golem's internal chamber. "The golem has a miniature preservation field. It must've been pre-programmed to cook and store a ready dish. Fascinating."

"Mr. Naruto," Fern asked again, a bit more urgently, "what was that just now? That command?"

Naruto shook his head, still visibly thrown off. "I swear I've never seen this golem before. But the moment I stood in front of it, my body just... remembered. It's like a dream I forgot but still feel."

Frieren stared at him thoughtfully. There was something more to this boy than even she could predict. Something reaching further back—deep into lost ages. But now wasn't the time to ask.

Instead, she simply raised her hand once again and softly said:

"Terminate."

The golem's eyes flickered once. Then it slumped forward. Its metallic frame dissolved into fine silver dust and evaporated into the breeze, leaving no trace of its existence, save the warm bowl of soup still in Stark's hands.

"Well," Frieren dusted off her hands, turning toward the others with a satisfied smirk. "On the bright side—we solved the mystery. And we've got thousand-year-old soup."

Naruto looked at the bowl skeptically. "Do you think it's safe to eat?"

Stark had already taken a slurp.

"...Delicious."

Õ—T—Õ

The so-called library was more of a sad, creaky room that smelled like dust and dead spiders—its shelves stacked with decaying tomes, many of which had titles like "The Art of Goose Whispering" or "Spells for Impressing Bored Nobles". Old scrolls were half-eaten by silverfish, and the light filtering through the grimy window gave the whole place a tragic little glow.

Frieren, of course, looked absolutely in her element.

She sifted through the stacks like a kid at a toy store, eyes sharp, fingers quick, expression utterly unreadable. Meanwhile, Naruto stood leaning against a pillar, arms crossed, looking more like he was waiting for someone to finish using the bathroom than for someone to pick out magical literature.

Fern and Stark, already yawning and shuffling their feet five minutes in, bailed after a quiet "We'll go for a walk." Naruto didn't even blink.

That left just him and the elf.

She kept flipping through pages until, out of nowhere, she asked in that calm, always-too-casual voice of hers, "Naruto?"

He glanced her way. "What?"

"When Serie interviewed you for the Mage Exams… what did she say?"

"Huh? You mean besides looking like I just broke her brain in two?" he smirked, remembering it fondly. "She was kinda dumbfounded by my mana."

Frieren didn't laugh. Her fingers paused on a page, but her face gave nothing away. "Other than that, did she ask anything… odd?"

"Hmm…" Naruto furrowed his brows, trying to remember. "She did ask if I could sense fluctuations in her mana. You know, like a test. Hehe, I even pointed out their shape and color. You shoulda seen her face."

"And?" Frieren's voice was quieter now, not quite tense, but far from relaxed.

He tilted his head. "Oh yeah… she asked if either of my parents had red hair. Weird, right?"

"I see." That was all she said as she plucked a book from the shelf.

Naruto squinted. "That it? You're not gonna comment on that totally strange question?"

Frieren stood and dusted off the cover. "No need. Just confirming something."

"Something like what?" he pressed, stepping forward.

"Nothing important."

"Liar," he muttered under his breath, but let it go.

He eyed the book she was holding, a brow raised. "So? What spell did you pick this time? Let me guess—another spell to change the taste of mud into cheesecake? Or maybe a jutsu to make your enemies feel mildly annoyed?"

Frieren smiled ever so slightly, holding the tome like a trophy. "A spell that makes paper airplanes fly high and far."

Naruto stared at her, completely deadpan.

"...I'm not even surprised anymore. Honestly, I was expecting worse. Like a spell to summon a single sneeze at will."

"I already have that one," she said, stone-faced.

"You're joking."

"I'm not."

Naruto groaned, dragging a hand down his face. "You ancient weirdos really just hoard the most bizarre stuff like it's gold."

Frieren walked past him, not looking back. "Let's go."

"Yeah, yeah…" Naruto followed her out, muttering under his breath, "Bet next time you'll find a spell to make grass whisper secrets to you or something."

"That one's in the next town's library," she replied without missing a beat.

He choked. "You are joking that time, right?"

A smug silence.

"…Right?!"

Õ—T—Õ

The Wissen Mountain Pass was sharp and serene, with the kind of biting chill that kissed your cheeks and made every exhale visible in little white puffs. The wind wasn't howling, but it was persistent, whispering through the crags and over the narrow path like a song only the mountains knew. The party moved carefully—Stark muttering about how high up they were, Fern bundled in her scarf, Naruto trying not to trip over every stone, and Frieren… well, Frieren looked like she was walking through her backyard.

As they crested another bend, the pass began to slope downward, revealing a misty horizon beyond the jagged edge.

"There should be a village on the other side of this ridge," Frieren informed them, gaze ahead. "Small. Barely a dot on the map. But it exists."

"Bet it's another weird little place where they worship potatoes or think sneezing drives off demons," Naruto mumbled.

Stark chuckled. "Honestly? Wouldn't be surprised."

That was when a voice called out.

"Adventurers?"

An older man—late sixties, perhaps—was approaching from the path ahead. He looked sturdy despite his age, with a grey beard that reached his collar and calloused hands that spoke of years working with soil and plants.

"Yes," Frieren replied evenly.

The man gave a polite bow. "I'm a local herbalist. I have a request. A strange one, if you'll hear it."

"What kind of task?" Frieren asked, already looking mildly curious.

"Come with me," the old man said, motioning them to follow.

They did, walking a few short minutes toward a humble cabin nestled on the village's outskirts. It was the kind of place that smelled like dried herbs and old wood. Shelves of neatly labeled jars lined the walls, and bundles of lavender hung from the rafters.

He knelt near a low drawer, rummaging through some cloth before pulling out a small, delicate wooden box.

He opened it reverently. Inside was a single fruit—small, round, and glossy purple-red, with a few speckles across its skin.

It looked… perfectly ordinary.

"A berry?" Naruto asked, blinking.

"This," the herbalist said, holding it up gently, "was found by a traveler three days ago. It fell from the sky."

"From the sky?" Fern echoed.

"I thought so too," the man said. "Nonsense. At first. But then I examined it more closely."

He placed it on the table. "This fruit is indigenous to the deep South. Grows in hot, humid regions. Certainly not here in the freezing northern plateau. And definitely not in the middle of the sky."

Naruto frowned. "Maybe a bird dropped it?"

"That was my first thought. But no signs of pecking, no scratches or damage. And no birds in this area that migrate from that far south."

Frieren stared at the berry, eyes narrowing. "So, this is a mystery of unnatural origin."

The herbalist nodded solemnly. "Exactly. It sounds silly to many. But to me, as someone who has studied flora all his life… this is an enigma. It shouldn't be here. I don't just want to know how it got here—I want to know why."

Stark tilted his head. "What if it's just some magic trick? Like someone teleported fruit as a prank?"

"Still a mystery," Frieren said quietly. "Magic always leaves behind traces."

Naruto crossed his arms. "So you're saying someone chucked a southern fruit into the sky over some frozen mountains and it landed like a gift from the heavens?"

The herbalist nodded seriously. "And I want you to uncover its story."

"We accept," Frieren said without hesitation, her fingers already drifting toward her satchel.

Naruto groaned. "Let me guess. You're hoping the answer is written in some weird old spellbook hidden in a dead wizard's bathroom closet."

"Maybe," she said with a little smile.

Fern rolled her eyes. "Here we go again."

And so, with one mysterious berry and a whole new curiosity in their pocket, the party prepared to unravel yet another strange tale of the plateau.

Õ—T—Õ

The chapel was quiet, the kind of quiet only found in old wooden buildings where even the wind respects the stillness. Shafts of light beamed down through dusty windows as the party sat on worn benches, thinking. The mysterious southern fruit weighed on their minds like a riddle with no punchline.

Stark was half-asleep, Fern was cross-referencing climate patterns in her grimoire, and Frieren… was flipping through a book on migratory birds written four hundred years ago like it was a light novel.

Naruto, however, was staring blankly at the ceiling—then blinked. Squinted. Tilted his head. "...Yo. Do you guys see that?"

Fern didn't look up. "See what?"

"That." Naruto pointed directly up through the open skylight of the chapel dome.

They all turned their eyes skyward.

At first, there was nothing. Just sky. Empty, pale blue, and too still.

But slowly… something began to take shape.

A dot.

No, not just a dot. A shadow.

Fern frowned. "It's so high… I can't sense any mana from it. It's beyond my detection range."

Frieren narrowed her eyes, unbothered by the height. "That's not surprising."

"What is it?" Stark asked.

"That," Frieren said calmly as she stood and summoned her staff with a spark of light, "is a Sky Range Dragon."

Everyone blinked.

"A what now?" Naruto asked.

"They're peaceful giants," Frieren said. "They fly endlessly above the clouds. Don't attack people, don't meddle in wars. They only descend when they die."

"You've seen one before?" Fern asked, rising to her feet too.

"I've read about them before. But I've never seen one."

"So why could I see it?" Naruto asked, confused.

"You see mana differently," Frieren replied. "That, or your vision is just stupidly good."

Naruto looked half-proud, half-worried.

"Are we seriously going that high?" Stark asked, eyeing the shrinking dot in the sky.

"It's fine," Frieren said casually, already floating.

"Totally fine," Naruto echoed nervously before grabbing Stark like a bag of groceries. "Let's go, human backpack."

"Oi—wait—hold—!"

With Fern and Frieren leading the way, the party soared higher and higher, up through the frigid air. The wind grew sharper. The clouds passed beneath them. Their ears popped. Fern cast a temperature shield spell just in time.

And then—

They broke through a ceiling of clouds.

What they saw made Stark nearly drop his sword.

"No. Freaking. Way."

The creature ahead of them glided silently through the sky, majestic and massive beyond comprehension. A dragon—yes, but unlike any they had ever seen.

Its wings were so broad they cast shadows over the clouds. Its scales shimmered like starlight, and along its back… was an entire forest. Ancient trees, rivers, moss-covered boulders. And beyond that—mountains. Real ones. Jagged and snow-capped, sloping gently along its spine as if nature itself had claimed this dragon for its own.

"I-Is that an actual ecosystem?" Fern gasped.

"It's beautiful," Naruto said, floating beside the dragon in awe. "Back in my world, there were stories about a giant turtle in Lightning Country with an island on its back. I never saw it, but... it was supposed to be just as huge."

"Legend says Sky Range Dragons live for thousands of years," Frieren explained. "Some theories claim they're the remnants of the world's first mana beasts. They gather plants and seeds in their travels, unknowingly growing whole forests on their backs."

Stark just blinked. "That thing could fit a city up there…"

Frieren gave a faint smile. "And yet it lives alone. So far above everything else."

Naruto floated closer, his eyes scanning the trees. "Hey, do you think there's any fruit or herbs up here?"

"There definitely are," Frieren said, already adjusting her trajectory. "Let's gather some for the herbalist. He'll be happy to know his mystery fruit came from the back of a mythical dragon."

"I bet he'll faint," Fern muttered.

"Do we tell him the full truth?" Stark asked.

"I mean, would you believe it if someone said your breakfast berry came from the back of a flying sky dragon?" Naruto grinned.

"…Fair."

They landed gently on the dragon's back, the air thin but the silence peaceful. Birds chirped, leaves rustled, a gentle breeze moved through the forest. It was like a hidden paradise, floating forever above the world.

"Let's be quick," Frieren said, walking into the green. "We don't want to stay too long. These creatures can shift direction without warning."

"And also," Fern added, "I'd rather not be midair if it decides to sneeze."

With laughter and awe lingering between them, the party vanished into the mountaintop forest on the dragon's back—an impossible journey born from one falling berry.

Õ—T—Õ

The sun shone softly over the quiet village they were staying in—perfect weather for a bit of chaos.

Out front of the inn, Frieren stood with narrowed eyes and furrowed brows, arms stiff, utterly focused on the small wooden toy in her hands.

Naruto stood beside her like a coach at a sports festival. "Okay, hag, the trick is in the wrist—don't just swing the ball, guide it. Be gentle."

Frieren, of course, completely ignored his advice and yanked the kendama like she was summoning a comet. Whap!

"—What are you two up to—?"

CRACK!

The ball smacked Stark square in the face with the precision of a guided missile. He dropped like a sack of potatoes, landing flat on his butt, blinking at the sky in betrayal.

Neither of them noticed.

"See?" Naruto said, demonstrating with one hand behind his back. "Like this. Smooth. Focused. Clean. Perfect." The ball landed on the spike, again and again, with ridiculous ease.

Frieren's eyes sparkled like she'd just discovered a new grimoire. "Fascinating."

She tried again. Whoosh—

SMASH!

The ball ricocheted off-course, crashed through the nearby window of the inn with a spectacular crunch.

"MR. NARUTO!" came Fern's voice, absolutely fuming from inside.

"It wasn't me! It was the hag!" Naruto pointed instantly, the traitor.

"Don't blame Mistress for your own faults!" Fern snapped back.

Unbothered, Frieren tried once more, gripping the kendama with newfound resolve.

THUMP!

This time, she misjudged the swing and knocked a literal dent into the wooden wall. A perfect ball-sized hole appeared. Fern, mid-page in her book, glanced up—and now had a direct line of sight to the culprits.

They spent the next ten minutes fixing the window and the wall, under Fern's strict supervision. Naruto, bless his soul, learned two repair spells in the process. "You're welcome," Frieren said dryly, casting one with a flick of her hand.

Despite the collateral damage, Frieren wasn't giving up.

"I remember once," she began, tying her sleeves back like a monk about to ascend a mountain, "when the Immortal Böse—one of the Seven Sages of Destruction—trapped me, Himmel, Heiter, and Eisen inside an indestructible space. I gave up. I was ready to live there forever."

Stark, still nursing his bruised face nearby, squinted. "Sounds about right…"

"But Himmel didn't give up. Neither did Heiter or Eisen. They inspired me. We broke through the impossible and escaped. So."

She turned her glowing eyes to the kendama. "This too... I shall master."

She activated a mana-focused spell—Attraction Manipulation: Gentle Orbit. The wooden ball began to levitate gently toward the spike.

"Don't give up, hag!" Naruto called out with a grin.

"You can do it, Mistress Frieren!" Fern cheered, peeking out from behind a now fully-repaired window.

And then—

BUMP!

Frieren leaned too far. She tipped forward, her chin kissing the earth with a dull thud. But—

The ball was perched perfectly on the spike.

She raised her head slowly, a strand of grass stuck to her cheek. "…I did it."

Cheers erupted from Naruto and Fern.

Meanwhile, Stark sat off to the side, holding a cold cloth to his face. "…Isn't that cheating? She literally used magic. That's the same as using your hand."

No one was listening to him.

Frieren stood proud, brushing dirt from her robes. "I see now why humans enjoy this. It's… challenging. Personal. Strange. Yet… rewarding."

She turned, clicked open a rather mysterious-looking briefcase, and from within pulled out an arsenal of human leisure:

A pair of badminton rackets.

A Rubik's cube.

A jigsaw puzzle.

Pick-up sticks.

A shiny yo-yo.

A strategy board game titled Kingdoms of Fluff (Naruto swore he saw that in a toy shop).

And most terrifying of all—

A Monopoly board.

Naruto's eyes lit up. "Oooh, is that the cube puzzle? I heard only geniuses can finish it without ripping off the stickers."

Fern peeked over his shoulder, curious. "Mistress, what are you planning…?"

Frieren's eyes glinted like a scientist on the brink of invention. "I will master the human experience."

Naruto leaned closer to Fern. "...We're gonna need more windows, huh."

"Definitely," Fern whispered back.

Stark, still on the ground, muttered to himself, "I miss when the worst I had to deal with was just getting punched in the face by demons…"

Õ—T—Õ

Author Note:

Drop your thoughts in the review section. Your words inspire me to write faster, better and with more depth.

Till next time!

~Phoenix.