LinieBaru: ObsessionIF (Patreon)

When Subaru had submitted herself to the fate, she was blessed with an evolved Erfassen. However, in this If, Subaru never explores that. Instead, she slowly begins to understand Stark... In the worst possible way.

Subaru stood there in the quiet forest once more. The trees looked the same as they always did. The air carried the same damp smell of moss and old leaves. She had lost track of how many times this scene had played out. The number of loops had grown so large that counting them felt pointless. Days might have passed or weeks. Time lost its meaning when every reset brought her back to the exact same moment. Her legs felt heavy. Her arms hung at her sides. The axe rested on the ground near her feet where she had dropped it some loops ago. There was no point in holding it anymore.

The red haired boy stirred on the ground. He pushed himself up slowly. Blood still marked his face and jacket. His movements followed the same path they always took. His eyes opened and fixed on her. 

His voice came out rough and tired. “Demons. Must die.”

The words hung in the air between them. Subaru did not flinch this time. She had heard them too many times to count. The sound no longer sent her running. It simply existed like the wind or the rustle of branches overhead.

She had given up trying to change what came next. In the early loops she had fought with everything she had. She ran through the trees until her lungs burned. She swung her axe and shouted explanations until her throat hurt. Each effort only made the end worse. One time he caught her from behind and the pain lasted longer. Another time she tripped and the axe took her in a way that left her aware of every second. The more she struggled the more her body remembered the hurt. Now she stood still and waited. Fighting only brought more suffering. Accepting the pattern brought a strange kind of rest.

She hated him. The feeling sat deep inside her chest like a stone that would not move. He had ended her life hundreds of times. Each death carved another mark on her mind. She pictured his face in the moments before the axe fell and the anger rose fresh again. Yet even the hate had grown tired. It required energy to keep burning and she had none left to give. There was no one else in this forest to direct the feeling toward. The trees did not care. The stars above stayed distant and cold. Only this boy existed in her world and he would kill her no matter what she said or did. She could not make him understand that she was not what he thought. The words never reached him before the blade did its work.

Subaru waited. She kept her hands open and visible. The boy stepped closer. His boots made soft sounds on the damp ground. He raised the axe. The metal caught a bit of moonlight and flashed once. She looked straight at him. Their eyes met for a brief moment. His gaze held pain and confusion and something else she could not name. In that second a strange thought slipped through her mind. He looked kind of cute. The idea felt so out of place that it almost made her laugh. Then the axe came down. Her head fell and darkness took her.

She blinked and found herself back in the same spot. The forest air touched her skin again. She lifted her hands and slapped her cheeks hard enough to sting. What was that. She could not possibly think he looked cute. This was the boy who had killed her without pause. 

She watched him stir on the ground once more. His red hair caught the light as he pushed up. His jacket hung torn and bloody. He had ended her life mindlessly in every loop. She hated him. The thought felt solid and familiar. Yet when he stood fully and faced her the earlier impression lingered at the edge of her mind. That slightly rounded shape of his face. The small scar above one eyebrow that she had never noticed before. He did look cute in a rough sort of way.

The loop continued. He moved toward her. She stood still. The axe rose and fell. Darkness came and went. She returned again. 

This time she shook her head firmly. No. She was a man inside. She had grown up as Natsuki Subaru. These thoughts about his face had no place here. The body she wore might be different but her mind stayed hers. She repeated the fact to herself while he rose once more. He killed her again. The reset brought her back and the cycle repeated.

Another loop started. Subaru kept her eyes on him as he stood. She noticed the way his shoulders moved under the red jacket. The fabric stretched across his back and arms. She could almost sense the strength it took for him to lift that heavy axe each time. The muscles worked in a steady rhythm. He came at her fast. Her gaze followed the line of his face. His eyes held a particular shade of color. They reminded her of her mother Naoko in certain lights. They also carried something of her own eyes from back when she lived as a boy in her original world. The similarity sat there quietly in her thoughts. Huh. The word formed softly inside her. Then the axe struck and the loop ended.

Time reset. Subaru felt no sharp pain this time. The death had become so familiar that her body barely registered it. She noticed instead how the air moved across the place where her neck had been. It brushed the grass afterward in a gentle way. The sensation felt oddly comforting. She stood in the new loop and touched her throat with careful fingers. The skin was whole again. Still the memory of that cool touch remained. 

‘Am I going insane. Maybe I am.’ The question turned over in her mind without urgency. It simply existed alongside everything else.

She spent the next several loops testing small changes. She did not run. She did not shout. Instead she watched him more closely. When he rose she studied the set of his jaw and the way his hands gripped the axe handle. There was a tiredness in his movements that matched her own exhaustion. He had been fighting something before she found him. The wounds on his body spoke of battles she knew nothing about.

In one loop she spoke quietly just before he reached her. “I am not here to hurt you.” The words changed nothing but saying them felt different this time. They carried less anger and more curiosity.

Loop after loop passed in the same slow rhythm. Subaru began to notice details she had missed when fear controlled her. The boy kept a small pouch on his belt that looked worn from travel. His boots showed signs of long walking. His hair fell across his forehead in a particular way when he tilted his head. 

She wondered what his voice might sound like if it was not filled with rage. The hate she carried had not disappeared but it had grown quieter. It no longer filled every corner of her thoughts. In its place sat questions. Why did he hate demons so much. What had happened to leave him bleeding alone in this forest. Each reset gave her another chance to look for answers in his face and posture.

She started to wait for the moment their eyes met. That brief second before the axe fell had become something she anticipated. His gaze held a kind of raw honesty. He was not pretending or hiding. He acted on what he believed and that belief came from real pain. Subaru understood pain. She had carried enough of it through these loops to recognize the shape of it in another person. In her old world she had faced his kind of determination before. People who kept going despite everything. The thought brought a small twist in her chest that was not entirely unpleasant.

More loops went by. Subaru found herself standing a little closer each time. She no longer dropped her axe far away. She kept it near but pointed down. The weight of it felt familiar now. Her body had learned the balance of this form even if her mind still fought it sometimes. When he charged she kept her eyes open. She watched the way his muscles tensed and released. The power in his swing carried a kind of grace. It was the movement of someone who had trained hard. She could respect that even as the blade met her. The reset came and she examined the memory without panic. The air on her neck felt cool again. Comforting in its predictability.

She spoke to herself in the quiet moments after each return. This is still hate. It has to be. Yet the word felt less certain. Hate required distance and she had none left. He was the only constant in her existence. Every tree and rock had become background to his presence. She knew the exact number of steps he took before he raised the axe. She knew the sound his boots made on the moss. These details had filled her mind so completely that thinking about anything else required effort. Her old life felt farther away than ever. The memories of her family and room and normal days existed behind a thick fog. Only this forest and this boy remained clear.

In one loop she tried something new. She sat down on the ground before he fully rose. Her dress spread around her and the stockings pulled tight against her knees. The position felt vulnerable but she stayed there. He stood and looked at her. The usual words came out. Demons. Must die. Yet he paused for half a second longer than normal. Subaru kept her hands open on her lap. She did not speak. She simply looked at him and waited. The axe came down eventually but the delay stayed with her. That small hesitation felt important. It suggested something beneath the rage. A crack where understanding might grow.

The loops continued. Subaru noticed changes in her own reactions. The fear had dulled into something closer to acceptance. She still tensed when he approached but the tension carried curiosity now. She wondered what he saw when he looked at her. Did the horns and dress mark her completely as enemy. Or did some part of him sense that she was different. She touched one of her horns lightly while waiting for the next reset. The bone felt smooth and real. This body had become hers through sheer repetition. She moved in it without thinking now. The twin tails brushed her shoulders in a way that no longer startled her.

Another loop began. She watched him stand. The red jacket shifted with his breathing. She imagined the weight of it on his shoulders. The blood stains had their own pattern that she had memorized. His face turned toward her and their eyes met again. That same quiet thought returned.

He looked cute. 

The chubby cheeks beneath the dirt. The scar that cut across his brow like a story she wanted to hear. His eyes held the same familiar depth. She let the thought sit there without slapping it away this time. It did not change what he would do but it changed how she felt while waiting. 

The axe fell. Darkness took her. She returned and the thought remained.

She started talking in low tones during the loops. Not to convince him anymore. Simply to fill the space between them. “My name is Subaru. I came from another world.” 

These words did not stop the attack but they helped her stay connected to her own mind. She described small things from her past life. The taste of her mother's cooking. The sound of traffic outside her window. The feeling of normal clothes on normal skin. Speaking them out loud made the memories sharper for a moment. Then he would strike and she would return and try again.

The hate had transformed. It no longer burned hot. It sat like an old companion that had lost its teeth. She could acknowledge it without letting it control her. In its place grew a different feeling. A kind of reluctant interest. She wanted to know why he fought so hard. What demons had taken from him. Whether he had friends waiting somewhere. These questions turned over in her mind between deaths. Each reset gave her time to refine them. She no longer saw him as only the boy who killed her. He had become the center of her world in a way no one else ever had.

Time kept passing in its strange loop way. Subaru lost more of her old self with each cycle. The girl in the dress felt less foreign. The horns on her head felt like part of her balance. She moved with them naturally now. When she waited for him she sometimes adjusted her posture to make the twin tails fall a certain way. The small actions grounded her. They reminded her that she was still here. Still thinking. Still observing.

In the next loop she stood closer than before. Only a few feet separated them when he rose. She could see the details of his face clearly. The sweat mixed with blood. The way his lips pressed together in determination. His eyes met hers and held. The moment stretched. She wondered what he thought in that instant. Did any part of him hesitate. Did he see her as more than a demon. The axe rose. She kept watching. The blade came down and the familiar darkness followed. She returned with the image of his eyes still fresh in her mind.

She slapped her cheeks again but lighter this time. The sting felt less necessary. The thoughts about his appearance no longer shocked her as much. They simply existed. She was a man originally. That fact remained true. Yet this body had its own reality and the boy in front of her had become part of it. She watched him stand once more. His muscles shifted under the jacket. The strength there no longer seemed only threatening. It looked like something that had kept him alive through hard times. She could respect survival. She had been surviving too in her own way.

The loops went on. Subaru found herself breathing easier in the moments before each end. The air on her neck after the strike felt like a return to something known. The grass against her skin in those final seconds carried a soft touch. These sensations had become anchors. They told her the pattern still held. She could count on it even if she hated the pain. The comfort scared her a little but she let it stay. Fighting every feeling only brought more exhaustion.

She spoke to him again in a later loop. Not explanations this time. Just simple words.

“You look tired.” 

The sentence hung there. He paused almost noticeably. Then he moved forward. The axe did its work. She returned and repeated the words in her mind. 

‘You look tired.’

They felt true. He carried his own heavy load. She wondered if anyone had ever told him that. The thought brought a quiet ache in her chest. Not hate. Something gentler and more complicated.

More loops passed in their steady rhythm. Subaru no longer counted them. She simply lived inside each one. She observed the boy. She noticed new details. The way his fingers wrapped around the axe handle. The small sounds he made when he breathed through pain. The determination that never left his face. These pieces built a picture of him that felt real. He was not a monster. He was a person acting on what he knew. That knowledge changed how she waited for the end each time.

She stood quietly as he approached again. Their eyes met. She held the gaze without looking away. The thought came softly. He really does look cute. The words no longer felt impossible. They simply described something she saw. The reset came and she examined the feeling. It mixed with the old hate and the new curiosity. Everything sat together inside her. She did not try to separate them anymore. The forest held only them and the pattern they followed. In that small world the lines between enemy and something else had started to blur.

Subaru touched the fabric of her dress while waiting for the next rise. The material felt familiar against her skin. Her body had settled into this shape through all the deaths and returns. She lifted her gaze as he stood. The red hair. The jacket. The axe. The eyes that reminded her of home. She breathed in the forest air and let it out slowly. The loop would continue. She would watch and wait and wonder. The hate remained but it no longer stood alone. Other feelings had grown beside it in the long quiet spaces between one death and the next. She did not know what they meant yet. She only knew they were there and they changed how the axe felt when it finally fell. The darkness came again and she returned to watch him once more. The cycle held her and she moved with it now instead of against it.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ 🫀 ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Subaru had stopped counting the loops long ago. The forest remained unchanged around her with its steady trees and damp ground. About five hundred loops or more had passed since she first gave up on running. She no longer kept her distance from the boy. Instead she moved close as soon as the reset placed her there. She sat down on the moss near where he lay. Her dress settled around her legs and the stockings pressed against the cool earth. She waited for him to stir. The position felt natural now. It allowed her to watch every small movement he made from the beginning.

She studied the way his eyelids fluttered before they opened. The exact moment when awareness returned to his face. The slight shift in his breathing as pain reminded him of his wounds. Then came the look he gave her. His eyes focused and the hatred filled them. He pushed himself up with steady effort. His body rose in the same sequence each time. Shoulders first then the rest followed. He gripped the axe. The wood handle fit into his palm with practiced ease. He swung it in that familiar arc. Subaru kept her gaze on him through it all. She noticed how the muscles in his arm tightened. How his stance adjusted for balance. How the blade caught the light just before it fell. These details had become part of her world. She knew them better than she knew the lines on her own new hands.

In her old life back in her original world she had never been special to anyone in a deep way. Her parents loved her without conditions. That was true. Yet their attention spread across daily things and other worries. People at school saw her as ordinary. No one focused on her alone with such intensity. This boy was different. Every loop brought his complete attention straight to her. His eyes locked on and stayed there. The hatred burned strong and clear. It was painful of course. Still it made her feel seen in a way nothing else ever had. Success filled her each time he looked. He chose her as the center of his world even if that choice meant ending her life. The thought turned over in her mind while she sat there. She had become important to him through no effort of her own. That fact brought a quiet satisfaction she did not fully examine.

He was a great warrior. She could see it in how he moved despite his injuries. Blood still marked his jacket and face yet he stood without hesitation. The strength required to lift that heavy axe again and again showed in the strain of his shoulders. He had survived whatever battle left him here. That alone marked him as extraordinary. Subaru thought about it often during the waits. A person who kept fighting through pain like that deserved respect. His focus stayed entirely on her. No distractions pulled him away. In this small forest he existed only for their encounters. The idea settled deep inside her. It made the hatred feel almost like a bond. He cared enough to act every single time. That kind of dedication was rare.

She spoke to him in a calm voice as he rose. "What is your name."  The words came out steady. She had asked them many times before. 

He answered the same way he always did. "Demon. Die."

The axe swung and the loop ended. Darkness took her for that familiar moment. She returned to the same spot and sat down again. The moss felt cool beneath her. She watched him stir once more. Determination rose in her chest. She would not give up on this question. It had become her goal in these loops. Knowing his name felt like the next step toward understanding him.

Another loop began. 

She sat closer this time. Her hands rested on her knees. "Tell me your name. I am Subaru." 

He stood and gripped the axe. "Die." 

The blade came down. She returned without frustration. The repetition only strengthened her resolve. Each death reminded her that she could try again. The pain had lost its sharp edge through familiarity. It felt more like a door closing so another could open. She prepared her next words while waiting for him to wake.

The loops continued in their steady pattern. 

Subaru asked every time. "Please tell me your name." 

He killed her again. 

She came back and asked once more. 

The persistence did not tire her. Instead it motivated her further. She wanted to know him. The hatred she once carried had changed shape. It mixed with curiosity and a growing sense of connection. He was the only person who existed in her repeated days. His reactions shaped her thoughts. She studied his face for any sign that her words reached him. Sometimes his eyes flickered before the swing. That small change kept her going.

She tried holding down his axe in one loop. Her fingers wrapped around the handle as he lifted it. She looked straight at him. "What is your name." 

He tore her arm away with raw force. The pain flared hot and sudden. He killed her with the next swing. She returned and touched her arm. It was whole again. The memory of his strength stayed with her. He had overpowered her so easily yet she admired the effort. He was creative in his determination. Even injured he found ways to act. That impressed her more with each loop.

In the following attempt she held his hands down against the axe. Her grip was firm but not aggressive. "Tell me your name." 

He headbutted her hard. The impact sent her back. He swung the axe and ended the loop. Subaru came back with a faint smile on her face. The creativity in his response showed his spirit. He did not give in easily. That quality made him stand out in her mind. She wanted to match that persistence. She wanted to know the person behind the rage.

Hundreds more loops passed. Subaru learned every move he made. She knew when he would shift his weight. She knew the angle of his swing. When he tried to headbutt she moved her head aside at the last moment. When he tried to brute force his way free she released her grip and dodged the axe. She stepped around his punches while keeping her eyes on his face. 

All the while she asked the same question. "What is your name." 

The words became a steady part of their pattern. She maintained eye contact through every exchange. His reactions fed her thoughts. Each small resistance from him felt like progress. He was fully engaged with her. That fact brought a deep sense of success.

She wondered about her own mind during the quiet moments after resets. The old Subaru would have fought harder against this situation. He would have searched for escape or clever tricks. Now she sat beside the boy and waited for his attention. The gender change had altered more than her body. It had shifted how she saw connection. In this form she felt smaller and more aware of his presence. His strength contrasted with her own in ways that stayed in her thoughts. She did not hate the contrast anymore. It made their encounters feel meaningful. He saw her as a demon yet he could not look away. That intensity filled a space inside her that had been empty in her old life.

Another loop started

“Tell me your name?” She sat near him and watched him wake. 

He attacked, she leaped away. And asked again. Agai

"Why do you keep asking me that." He yelled the words. His voice carried real frustration for the first time. 

The different set of words hit her like a wave. Her heart lifted. She felt as if she had achieved something great. A bright smile spread across her face. She leaned forward slightly. "Tell me your name." The request came soft but clear. 

He answered with force. "It is Stark. My name is Stark. Now die." The axe fell and the loop ended.

Subaru returned to the forest floor. She whispered the name to herself. "Stark." 

The sound felt right on her tongue. It matched the boy in front of her. She said it again in her mind while he stirred. Stark. The knowledge settled deep. She had learned something true about him through pure persistence. The hatred that once dominated her thoughts had opened room for this new fact. She knew his name. That single piece of information felt like a bridge between them. He had given it to her even in his anger. The act carried weight in her thoughts.

She sat there and observed him as he rose. Stark. The name repeated quietly inside her. She watched the way he gripped the axe. She noted the tension in his jaw. Everything about him felt more real now that she could attach a word to it. In her old life names came easily. People introduced themselves without struggle. Here the name had required hundreds of loops and many deaths. That made it valuable. She turned the knowledge over in her mind. Stark had survived wounds that would have stopped others. He lifted the axe with consistent power. His focus stayed on her completely. These qualities described a person worth knowing. She wanted to learn more about him. The loops gave her endless chances to do so.

The reset had brought her back but her thoughts stayed with the previous moment. Stark had spoken more than his usual words. He had responded directly to her question. That change marked progress in her eyes. She considered what to say next time. Perhaps she could ask about his wounds or where he came from. The ideas formed slowly. She did not rush them. Each loop allowed her to build on what she knew. Sitting beside him had become her way of staying present. The moss under her felt familiar. The air carried the same damp scent. These constants grounded her while she waited for Stark to wake.

She thought about her old self again. The boy she used to be would have seen this situation as pure suffering. He would have complained loudly and searched for a way out. Now she found purpose in the repetition. The attention Stark gave her filled a need she had not recognized before. His hatred was strong and personal. It made her feel real in this new body. The horns and dress no longer seemed like a complete barrier. They were part of what drew his gaze. She touched one horn lightly while thinking. The smooth surface reminded her of her current reality. She lived in this form now. Stark saw it and reacted. That reaction shaped her days.

Another loop began. Subaru sat in her usual spot. She watched Stark open his eyes. The name echoed in her thoughts. Stark. She spoke it softly to herself before he fully rose. The word brought a small sense of closeness. She prepared her next question. The persistence that had won his name would win more details. She felt motivated in a way that went beyond simple survival. Understanding him had become central to her existence in the forest. The loops stretched on and she moved with them. Her eyes stayed on him as he stood. The axe lifted in that familiar motion. She kept watching even as the blade approached. The encounter held her complete focus just as she held his. 

The forest continued its quiet watch around them. Subaru sat beside Stark's form and let the thoughts flow. She considered how his name changed the way she saw his face. The scar above his eyebrow belonged to Stark. The red hair and determined expression belonged to Stark. These details gained new meaning. She recalled the strength in his hands when he had torn her arm away. That memory no longer brought only anger. It showed his power and his will. She admired both qualities. A person who fought so hard deserved study. She wanted to know what drove him. What experiences had shaped his hatred of demons. The questions waited patiently in her mind for the right loop to ask them.

She returned her attention to the present moment. Stark stirred on the ground. His eyelids moved in the way she had memorized. Subaru leaned forward slightly. The name sat ready on her tongue. She would use it soon. For now she observed and waited. The pattern held her and she held it in return. The connection between them grew with each reset even if he did not remember. She remembered for both of them. That responsibility felt important. It gave structure to the endless cycles. Stark had become the center of her focus. His name marked the beginning of deeper understanding. She whispered it once more as he began to rise. The sound carried through her thoughts like a steady anchor in the changing sea of loops.

Her mind turned to the body she inhabited. The girl form had forced her to adapt in ways she never expected. Sitting here in the dress felt less strange now. The horns balanced her head in a way that had become normal. Stark saw all of it and still directed his energy toward her. That fact brought a complex satisfaction. She was no longer invisible or ordinary. She occupied his attention completely. The psychological weight of that attention pressed on her in quiet moments. It filled spaces left empty by her old life. She did not question the change too deeply. Instead she accepted it as part of this new existence. The loops had taught her that resistance brought only more pain. Acceptance allowed her to notice details like the name he had finally spoken.

Stark pushed himself up. Subaru kept her position steady. She studied the lines of his face with fresh interest. The name gave her permission to look closer. She saw the weariness mixed with resolve. He had endured much. She wanted to know the story behind his wounds. The axe rose in his hands. She maintained eye contact as she always did. The swing came and the loop closed. She returned with the name echoing louder in her thoughts. Stark. The word shaped her next actions. She would build on it slowly. Each loop offered another chance to draw out more of him. The forest held them in its pattern and she moved within it with growing purpose. Her monologues continued in the silence between resets. They explored the growing connection and the way his hatred had carved a place for her in this world. 

She sat there again as the next cycle started. The moss felt cool. The air carried its familiar dampness. Stark lay before her and she waited for him to wake. The name stayed with her like a key she had earned through effort. She planned her words carefully. The persistence that revealed his name would reveal the rest of him in time. She felt no hurry. The loops provided all the time she needed. Her attention remained fixed on the boy who had become the center of her repeated days. Stark. The whisper of it moved through her as he began to stir once more. 

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ 🫀 ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Subaru had come to understand the truth many loops earlier. Stark had become her entire world. He filled every part of her thoughts and every moment of her repeated days. No one else existed in this forest. No other voices reached her. Only Stark gave her attention and only she held his focus so completely. The hatred he carried for her was strong and constant. It proved that she mattered to him in a way no one had before. 

Subaru realized that she loved him. 

She loved the way he kept fighting despite his wounds. She loved the creativity he showed when he found new ways to end her life. She loved the motion of his axe as it swung toward her. She loved the sound of his voice when he said the same words again and again. Demons must die. The phrase had become dear to her through repetition. It marked the rhythm of their shared existence.

She sat near him in loop after loop and let the feeling grow. The love did not feel warm or gentle. It pressed on her mind like a heavy weight that she welcomed. Stark was hers in this small world. His eyes found her every time. His body moved for her. His determination centered on her alone. In her old life she had been one person among many. Here she was the only one who existed for him. That knowledge brought a deep satisfaction mixed with something darker. She needed him to keep looking at her. She needed him to keep trying to kill her. Without that attention the loops would lose their meaning. The forest would become empty. She whispered these thoughts to herself while she waited for him to wake. The love she felt had twisted around the pain until the two could not separate. She accepted it because it was all she had.

In one loop she decided to test the boundaries. She ran around him in wide circles instead of standing still. Her feet moved quickly over the moss and her dress brushed against low branches. She called out to him as she moved. 

She told him that she would not let him kill her unless he said her name. The words came out fast and repeated. The running frustrated him. She could see it in the way his face tightened and his movements grew sharper. He chased her with more force than usual. His axe cut through the air closer than before. She kept talking through it all.

“What is your name?!”

The demand echoed between the trees. He swung and missed. She laughed then. The sound poured out of her without control. It was loud and wild and it filled the forest.

Stark stopped for a moment. Her laughter seemed to unnerve him. He stood there with the axe lowered slightly and his eyes wide. The reaction sent a thrill through her. She had affected him in a new way. She laughed harder because of it. The sound disturbed the quiet around them. Stark looked almost lost for that brief time. Then he raised the axe again. 

Subaru kept moving. She shouted her name at him. “Natsuki Subaru. Say my name.” 

He repeated it back in broken pieces. “Nut suck sue bar you.”

The mispronunciation made her laugh even more. The joy felt sharp and overwhelming. It mixed with the love she carried and made her chest tight. 

Stark came at her again. This time he hesitated just before the strike. The axe paused in the air. Subaru snapped her head toward him. Shock ran through her. He had never paused like that before. 

“You care for me. You do actually care for me.” The words burst from her. She stepped forward with her arms open. She tried to hug him in that moment. The need to feel him close pushed everything else aside.

Stark watched her approach with clear horror in his eyes. His body tensed. He swung the axe in a sudden motion. The blade cut through and her head fell with the smile still on her face. The expression stayed even as darkness took her. She returned in the next loop with the memory fresh and bright. The hesitation from him lingered in her thoughts. It proved that something had changed between them. She must make him say her name properly. She must hear it from him again. The love she felt demanded it. She prepared herself for the new loop. 

“I love you Stark. You are an amazing person.” The words felt true as she spoke them. She said them while he rose. He paid no attention and moved to kill her as always.

By now she knew his every motion. She had studied him across thousands of encounters. She was not stronger than him. She was not faster. Yet she had learned to use the advantages of this demon body. She moved behind him in a quick step. Stark leaped to avoid an expected attack from the front. Subaru struck his legs instead. Her hand found his elbow and poked hard at a spot that made his grip loosen. The axe dropped. She hit his head with all the force she could gather. The blow landed solidly. Stark fell. The forest grew quiet around them. Subaru stood over him and stared. She had defeated him after three thousand loops. The victory should have brought joy. Instead a wave of fear washed over her.

She dropped to her knees beside him. 

“Oh no no no no. Please do not die. I am so sorry. I am an idiot. Stark cannot die. YOU CANNOT LEAVE ME!”

The words tumbled out while she bent over him. She pressed her mouth to his and blew air into him. It did not matter if the action was necessary. She kept doing it again and again. Her hands shook as she worked. She needed to feel his breath return. She needed him alive. The love she carried would not allow him to slip away. Not after all the loops. Not after he had become her only world. She continued the breaths until she sensed movement in his chest. His breathing started again on its own. Yes. 

“You are alive.” Relief flooded through her so strongly that it left her dizzy. She sat back and watched him. Stark belonged to her now. The thought settled deep and stayed there.

Yet Subaru knew  of their situation. They could not remain in this forest. Other dangers waited beyond the trees. She remembered the silver haired elf who had killed her in one loop with a powerful beam. That person could return. Other threats might appear too. If she stayed here someone would take Stark from her. The idea sent a cold feeling through her chest. She could not let that happen. Stark was hers. She had earned him through all the deaths and all the waiting. She would take him to a safe place where no one could find them. The decision felt right and necessary. It grew from the love that now controlled much of her thinking.

She lifted him carefully onto her back. His weight pressed against her in a solid way. She adjusted her grip to hold him steady. 

“One free flight coming right up—”  She spoke the words softly to herself. Then she remembered the axe. She turned and picked it up with her free hand. “You love your axe.” She held it tight. The weapon felt important because it belonged to him. 

With Stark secure on her back and the axe in her grasp she moved toward the north. The forest opened up ahead of her as she started to fly in that direction. The trees passed below while she carried him away from the place that had defined their time together. She kept her eyes forward and her hold firm. The love she felt guided every motion. Stark was hers and she would keep him safe no matter what came next.

I wrote it on a whim this evening.

I'm not sure whether you like it or not, this doesn’t bother my usual writing since I will write it like once a few weeks and each chapter will be like 7K words.

That is IF you like it. Otherwise, discarded.