Maggie 6-10 (Patreon)

While his plane arrived in Albany at 11 A.M., he had to wait until 1:30 before the Greyhound departed. It arrived in Farmingham at ten after three, dumping him in a park and ride lot behind the Mt. Victor’s Masonic Lodge, where he cut across the curb that separated the lot from a Fast Lube, turned left onto Main Street and at the sight of Altieri’s he felt at home.

He went straight to his dorm, looking to change then run over and surprise Maggie (even if she was with Cole, he didn’t mind, wanted to see him, too).

Sure last night he’d had difficulty accepting the picture she’d sent him. Her chin turned up, a close-up of her mouth, Cole’s semen pooling in her philtrum, blocking a nostril and streaming her pretty skin. He ate the steak. Not right away, it took some getting adjusted to the revelation of that lubricious image. Then he pushed it out of his mind, watched TV, lay in bed but couldn’t get to sleep. He tossed and turned a bit and a little after one, despite how disgusted he was by the picture, he masturbated under the covers while looking at it and then finally he got to sleep.

He’d focused on the moment before the picture was taken; how did it come to this, who suggested it? He wouldn't be surprised if it was something his fiancée would ask for. Though it was something a guy might try to coerce a girl to accept he didn’t think, given the breakfast at Denny’s and Cole’s demeanor, that he would ask that of their Maggie. It led him to think that his sweet but surprisingly dirty girlfriend requested it. That uncomfortable thought, while thrilling, came with the imagining of them together without him, laughing and enjoying each other’s company without the third member of the troika. It was jealousy, sexual arousal, isolation, and abandonment, all together for a pointed and magnificent pang that he hated to enjoy.

When he arrived at his dorm room, 312 Samuelson, he found his roommate Steve alone, studying at his desk. Max entered, and though he’d only been gone a day and a half it felt much longer. Steve half-turned, back hunched at his laptop, his eyes blinking behind his glasses, his face expressionless.

“Hey man,” Max said.

“You’re back early,” Steve said.

“Yeah, I booked an earlier flight. I like my parents and all, but you know…”

“I heard that,” he said in a low, careful and even tone.

Max threw his bag on the bed, knew he would unpack later—right now he just wanted to get comfortable clothes on and get his way to Keegan as quickly as he could. He rifled through his closet, pulled off his shirt and put on a sweater. A lot colder in Vermont than in San Diego. When he turned, headed to the dresser to retrieve pants, he found Steve still staring at him. He sat with his elbows on the arms of his swivel chair, a cursor blinking behind him, halfway through a term paper, and he regarded Max with that strange expressionless face, eyes still blinking behind glasses.

“What’s up?” he said, sensing there was something.

Steve slowly inhaled, eyes rolling to the ceiling a bit, he swiveled in the chair. Resolve gathered, he leaned forward again, put his elbows on his knees now and clasped his hands.Max took out a pair of pants from his dresser, let them unfold and drape over and arm as he sat on the bed across from Steve. He waited.

Steve still said nothing, and it was obvious something needed to be broached. Max prompted him again: “What’s going on?”

Steve’s eyes came up to regard him and Max saw that they were troubled. He went to speak, paused, chewed briefly on the corner of his lip then said: “You were away, right?”

“Yeah, you know that …”

“No, I know that, I just mean … You were out of town.”

“Right …”

“Well, my brother hangs out with this guy at Keegan ...”

“Yeah, I know. I see him hanging out there.”

“Yeah, well he hangs out there, and …” He paused, scratched the back of his neck, winced at what he had to say, then continued. “Yeah, my brother was there, and he was on the second floor. You know, where Maggie is ...”

“I know.”

“Yeah, well he was there, hanging out on the couches there, you know where they are,” and he paused again, then said, “and you know your friend Cole ...”

“I know,” he said and now he knew where this was going.

“Well,” he said, “he was in there with Maggie.”

“They’re studying for her LSAT,” he said quietly.

“Okay,” he said. “But my brother said he was in there all day. Now, maybe he shouldn’t have done this, but he thought it was weird and I guess he likes you or whatever because he knows you’re my roommate, and well, he went closer, you know, to the door …”

“And …?”

“You know …”He felt the heaviness now, knew what had happened in that room, had seen photographic evidence, and knew that his roommate and his brother had been talking about it. He said, “He heard something?”

“He did. He heard them …”

“What did he hear?”

Steve shrugged and gave him a pained expression, indicating it should be obvious and he needn’t say.

Max said, “He heard sounds?”

“He did. He heard them doing things in there.”

He debated just admitting it. Thought maybe it was time to just say Yeah, he probably heard that. I know what they do and I’m okay with it. But maybe he wasn’t ready for the next step. The next step for him right now, his nerve building up on the hour-and-a-half Greyhound, was getting to Maggie and sitting with her and being truthful for once.

“Okay, I hear you. Thanks for telling me.”

“Is that okay?”

“That you told me? Yeah, you did the right thing. But you should know, it’s okay.”

“It’s okay?”

“No, I just mean that I’m glad you told me, and everything about it is going to be cool. You know what I mean?”

“No.”

“That I’m not upset. My feelings aren’t hurt. It’s not necessarily bad news.”

“It’s not?”

He shrugged, not wanting to be truthful with Steve, and not knowing how best to phrase this nor necessarily wanting to put the effort into it.

He stood up again, and squeezed Steve’s shoulder, said, “Thanks for telling me. I mean it. That must’ve been hard.”

“Yeah, it was.”

Max undid his pants and slipped on his jeans, discarded his loafers in exchange for sneakers. He threw on his peacoat while Steve watched him.

He said, “I’m going to see her right now. Would you believe me if I told you nothing’s changed? ... between her and I ...”

Steve shrugged, his face still expressionless but his eyes wider, trying to understand.

He said, “Thanks again. I’ll see you.”

* * *

This was way bigger than him, bigger than he could handle. How did he think he could control his Maggie like this? How did he think he had the power over her to manage her heart? He’d been so manipulative, shaping her into his fantasies, using the natural will of her own sexual curiosity to help her shape his perfect vagary. Only now it was ruined, the armature of their relationship exposed, the love and friendship and sanctity denuded, leaving bare jagged branches. Hopefully strong enough to survive a harsh winter, hopefully strong enough to bloom in spring.

Roommate Steve’s little brother was nowhere to be seen out front of Keegan. Probably for the better, Max was unsure how their eyes would meet. He trotted up the steps into the old hall, dashed the stairwell to the second floor, hesitated at the door to 204. Listened for a moment, hoping to hear a sonata, Boccherini, cello and bass. Heard nothing but a steady rasping whisper. He knocked on the door and waited. The sound stopped and a girl’s voice, not Maggie’s, said, “Come in.”

He twisted the lever and stepped into Maggie’s room and saw only Jessie. She was on her side of the room, amid the clutter of her found objects wearing overalls with a red T-shirt underneath and welding without a mask.

He said, “You supposed to do that in here?”

She said, “It’s just a touch up. Hi, Max.” She shut off the torch and set it on the floor. Maggie’s bed was unmade, littered with paper. Some of her drawers were open, and he saw that they were empty.

He said to Jessie, “Is Maggie around?”

Her posture was weak and her head hung low, she set herself on her bed and clasped her hands together between her knees. “No,” she said, “I don’t know where she is.”

“When did you see her last?”

She shrugged, said, “Yesterday. In the afternoon.”

He stepped in the room, stood at the side of Maggie’s bed, looking out the window hoping he would see her walking one of the trails toward Keegan. He’d hoped to surprise her and didn’t want to do it by text.

He put a knee on her bed, picked up a scrap of torn paper and saw pastel on one side. Like it was a drawing that had been ripped up. It made him feel a little cold inside. Something about the room, something about the energy in here. When he lifted his head, he saw it.

“What happened here?” he asked Jessie.

She shrugged her shoulders as he crossed back to the door. Just to the left of it someone had punched the wall, putting a fist-sized hole in the drywall.

“What was she doing yesterday?” he asked her.

Jessie breathed a moment, lifted her face toward him but her eyes darted to the right, afraid to meet his. “I don’t know. She was here with Cole.”

“Were they getting along?” he asked, turning, brow lowered with puzzlement as his finger traced around the jagged, chalky hole.

“They were getting along,” she said.

“And you don’t know how this happened?” he asked, tapping under the hole in the wall.

“No, I don’t.”

“You okay?”

Jessie said, “Me? Yeah, I’m okay. You’re home early.”

He murmured, “Yeah, I love my parents and all but, you know …”

She nodded, and her gaze lowered to the floor.

In that simple movement of her head he saw a measurement of shame and it hit him that she could be the one who took the picture. He wanted to squirm right out of his skin. All that thought about how he was okay with this just spurting out of his grip. He wasn’t okay with it. Didn’t want others to know Maggie was shared. Didn’t want Jessie to know Maggie slept with Cole. He wanted sanctity again, he wanted Maggie. Of course it was all too late for that. From her face he could tell she knew. She’d seen them together, hadn’t she? Fuck, his heart sunk at the thought that she was the one who took the picture of her roommate fucking her fiance’s best friend.

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you around. I’ll track her down, maybe she’s at Altieri’s …”

He left Jessie sitting on the bed, her hands still between her knees, and went into the hall. He fished his phone from his pocket and texted Maggie:

Max: Hey where are you?

It wasn’t until he made it out to the path again that his phone binged.

Maggie: Hey man, it’s Cole when u back?

Max: I’m home now. I was just in Maggie’s room

Maggie: You better get here. Come to the Twilight Motel. in town - you know it?

He stood in the gray breeze, cold and chilly now, all that early October warmth leached from it and his skin missed the warmth of California. He felt a chill deep inside, too. A motel?

Max: Why what happened?