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William Oh Campfire Tales! (Patreon)

Published:
2025-07-23 17:39:57
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

Context: I just finished talking to Soundbooth theater about making the audiobook, and they were very excited about the legends at the beginning of the chapters.I told them the campfire tall tales, paul bunyan/Chuck Norris vibe I was going for, and they were 100% on board, suggesting making them happen between chapters with different voices, campfire sound-effects, and making an end-of-book cluster of 6-8 formatted like a group of Climbers sitting around a campfire, bullshitting about William Oh.It's freakin' perfect.And it would be even better if the stories came from the audience themselves.That's right, I'm asking you guys for William Oh stories in the comments. I'm going to use them to fill dead space in the book, and to give Soundbooth their audible-exclusive endcap.The Rules/Things you should know.Jason Salazar is the only one whose stories can be prophetic, so tailor your stories to either be completely made-up, OR... a hyperbolic retelling of one of your favorite scenes from book 1. Nothing from beyond Ch.38. If it is referencing a specific event from beyond ch. 38, I can't use it, unless I use Jason's name, but the chances are very slim that I will do that.Be aware, If your suggestion makes it in, it's likely to be edited for punchiness, and to cover my ass legally, I must make it clear that this is all volunteer, and nobody is getting paid for the suggestions.Whether you're suggesting or just lurking, regularly check and upvote the ones you like the most, it makes it easier for me to know which ones are popular.TLDR: Suggest William Oh Legends for the Audiobook special ending.P.S. today's chapter has been delayed by other worky-work, such as talking to Soundbooth, and this. I'll get more done immediately after this, but I don't expect to get the entire chapter finished today.

Comments

David Weller

"William Oh gave Lord Bakton so many rights, he was begging for a left. Too bad William Oh didn't have a left to give. So he just kept giving him rights til Lord Bakton begged for mercy."

Baines

this is gonna be so dumb, I’m so here for it

Cj

You know, I once heard William Oh could raise the dead, his severed hand dwells within the abyss waiting to bring back the souls who wronged him in life, just so he can kill them again, saw him do it once too, apparently the guy owed him a lot of money.

Treeman4

"They say William Oh found the last remnants of an ancient civilization and he took their greatest artifact and made it into his favorite smoking pipe"

AarronConLeche

"Heard of him? Yeah, I've heard of him. My wife's uncle's Barber on the Second Floor said that William Oh is missin' an arm 'cuz he got tired of having to constantly tie one behind his back to make fights more fair." -Aaron M, Level 31 Machinistician

Gibby

Time to do a reread...

Dan N

A drunken climber once challenged William Oh to a fight by insulting his mother. After being effortlessly outclassed and thoroughly embarrassed, he fled the battle thinking he'd narrowly escaped death through luck and William Oh's benevolence. When he returned to town he immediately went back to the bar and regaled everyone with his harrowing tale of survival only for his head to fall off his shoulders the moment his story ended.

Scott Crawford

William Oh? Let me tell you about William Oh. He's a 10 foot tall bastard who can drink you under the table and will steal your wife right out of your arms. He robbed my family's museum just by walking in and telling the paintings to follow him out.

Deloach50

You should also do some of them as like a bard telling them to a tavern or a group of adventures bullshitting whilst playing cards or dice

Scott Crawford

You ever hear about William Oh? Born on the 10th floor with an Advanced class and a silver relic in his mouth. They say he only bothered coming down to get a taste of "this salt that everyone's always raving about."

Thomas

I heard a baker girl once asked William Oh for a hand freeing her from her apprenticeship contract because the Master's son kept lusting after her. William Oh chopped off his left hand then and there handing it off to her. Then he proceeded to trick the Master Baker's lustful son into killing his father freeing the baker girl, who ran right into his arms attaching his hand once more, making both of them whole.

Icuras

They say that William Oh never learned how to read. He just glares at the book and it will tell him everything he wants to know.

Michael Berube

Person 1: William Oh knows all, and he is as virtuous as he is wise. In his charity, he sought to give the people of this world all his knowledge. The gods, ever jealous, did not like this, and so William Oh gave the gods a choice: be destroyed or allow his knowledge to be shared. The gods agreed, but they were tricky. They shared his knowledge but made mortals forget... however there are still signs his knowledge is still with us.... Person 2: like what? Person 3: "Oh! I remember this time..."

ReadingObsessed

Why would I buy your bag of salt, old man? "Holdna tells that William Oh's Greatest Regret is not buying my salt. Is that not enough for you?" -Overheard conversation between a merchant, a guard and a nodding priestess

Not You

William Oh’s first relic came from the first sonova bitch that ever crossed him.

Not You

With a possible addendum: The guy’s corpse was found on his daddy’s doorstep the next day.

Macronomicon

How about something like 'William oh doesn't need salt to preserve food, he subsists off the tears of his enemies' or something like that?

Antface

"William Oh can kill two stones with one bird."

Trathnonen

William Oh cuts off his hand because it keeps forgetting to salute when he sees his reflection.

E

William Oh actually has 2 hands, but he was tired of climbing the tower on easy mode

E

William Oh can make pigs fly.

E

The god of death once called Willam Oh, Willie.... Once.

E

Spilled milk cries over William Oh

Deshauwn

You could give the chosen ones free feet pics or some similarly meme thing.

Antface

"William Oh can't breathe underwater, the ocean is just too scared to try and drown him."

Aloysius

William Oh once laid a trap to catch the embodiment of hope. Sadly half of it escaped but he used what he had to make his last name.

Aloysius

William Oh once fell head-first against the floor and knocked the earth unconscious

Jk

It’s said that William Oh isn’t even a Climber- he simply wishes to go up and the entire Floor moves follows him

Benjamin Rodgers

William Oh didn't escape death, death escaped William Oh.

Roeland

William Oh doesnt jump the world drops at his command

RedInkQuill

I heard William Oh ate his own hand in the tower room until his shit turned into a sacrifice. The sacrifice was the bullshit of William Oh.

Gardor

A lot of the...headers, or whatever you call them, also seemed to take place in bars. Is it much more difficult to put bar background noise in, vs a campfire? Seems a lot more difficult, now that i write it out. Making the speaker obviously drunk works in both settings tho. Or high conspiracy theories

SunderGoldmane

Losing and arm because hea constantly tying it behind is back is enjoyable reframing of his lost arm. I like it.

Treeman4

William Oh doesn't walk anywhere, the world moves to meet him.

Enzo Elacqua

Someone tried to shorten William Oh to Bill Oh, but the sheer weight of the dropped off letters crushed their brain to paste

SunderGoldmane

“My uncle runs a shop, said he once tried to sell a bag of salt to william oh and he turned em down. He tells every customer now about that, says “listen ‘ere, youre no william to milk the tears of your enemies to flavor your food. If youre lucky maybe youve got like 5 enemies that will chase you up? Tells em its just not feasible, you cant get enough salt outa five peoples. Says no one makes enemies like william oh and to just buy the salt.” (Something like a cautionary tale/viral marketing from that one merchant to by salt) (I made this as a reply because i like the salt merchant angle, and wanted to add an alt)

SunderGoldmane

Oh, for the roc chapter? Accidentally flying into two mountains?

SunderGoldmane

“My uncle runs a shop, said he once tried to sell a bag of salt to william oh and he turned em down. He tells every customer now about that, says “listen ‘ere, youre no william to milk the tears of your enemies to flavor your food. If youre lucky maybe youve got like 5 enemies that will chase you up? Tells em its just not feasible, you cant get enough salt outa five peoples. Says no one makes enemies like william oh and to just buy the salt.” (Something like a cautionary tale/viral marketing from that one merchant to by salt)

Antface

Nah, he said we can't "predict" stuff, so nothing that actually happens in the story.

vetro 26

William oh once used a toothpick, we call it the tower now

Moon Winchester

“ you know, I heard that the Oh in his last name is not his original last name. But it was put there from the amount of times people‘s mouths hit the floor whenever he would appear.” Or “ but it’s the final sound you’ll ever make once you meet him.”

Moon Winchester

I feel like it would actually be very easy. Just wait for next year go to California go to the Renaissance fair. Find a possible bar. Then ask if you could set up recording equipment and then just start talking about William O.

Jackson Andrews

william oh is actually an orphan, it’s said he shot fully formed from his fathers balls, and killed his mother on impact. They say he was picked up and raised by Holdna herself and some level 100 climber. unfortunately he was to much trouble for both of them so they left him in a random orphanage at the bottom of the tower.

Gardor

I think its harder than that when they capture professional quality audio. For example, when they film in a bar, the extras are actually miming conversation, and then the background noise is added in later.

Ethan B.

I once heard that William Oh doesn't even have to walk through a portal to get to the next floor. (Gravity does it for him)

Sam

We can as long is it happened before chapter 38 and it is coming from Jason

Cyrus McEnnis

There are three inevitablities in the Tower. Death, Taxes, and William Oh.

Nate

At the end of time you can find William Oh because time knows better than to move on without his permission

Nate

It is said that when William Oh picked a staring contest with the void the first stars formed out of the stress caused through his perception of space.

Nate

William Oh once caught THE apocalypse in an awkward position. They agreed to meet again later when it had a chance to recover some of its gravitas.

Nate

William Oh thought, therefore, We were.

Nate

Women to William Oh are scents to Roses

Nate

The chicken or the egg, turns out cause and effect had to ask William Oh what happened.

Nate

William Oh can count to infinity.

Antface

"William Oh once spat on the ground, now it's a raid boss on the twenty-second floor."

ioajfidsnmfomds77

When William Oh comes to town every woman learns to bake

Macronomicon

I think stock background noise is a thing that can be done. I’ll ask em if they wanna do bar scenes too.

Josh Cothran

I’d give my left nut to hear a William Oh story from a stranger in a random bar 😂😂😂😂

Raivshard

Give the relevant actors each a clip-mic. Point a wide angle mic at the bar in general. Run the audio from the actor mics through a denoiser after.

Gardor

Will do! Cant wait for the next bar scene i film!

RepossessedSoul

'Every woman gets a bun in the oven'? As a modification idea

RepossessedSoul

I think this calls for a different series of odd or short stories called "The Legends of William Oh."

Macronomicon

omg, that's awful and it got a hell of a chuckle.

Animephoto

“William Oh once made a deal with the tower: his hand in marriage for a pet dragon that could match his wit and his might. When he cut off that hand, the tower flew into such a rage it sent an army of level 100 demons to drag him back. They almost succeeded, but they were the first to make the most fatal mistake when fighting William Oh - they forgot about the dragon.”

Macronomicon

Who knows, maybe if we get a movie or TV show.

Josh Cothran

I’m gonna retract this if that happens. Imagine me being a single man hearing a good looking lady telling her uninterested friends about William Oh in a bar lol. It’d be sweet af

AarronConLeche

"I don't know much about William Oh, but what I do know is that I've sold more single, right gloves that are missing a matching pair than ever before." -Mike Jackson, Glove Seller on the Third Floor *** The idea being that William Oh is starting a fashion trend, or people are imitating him. Idk, it might not come across from the quote, but I thought it would be funny that maybe Will is unintentionally making the Michael Jackson glove cool again.

AarronConLeche

"William Oh once fooled around with Mother Nature behind Father Time's back. That's why we have five seasons instead of four: Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, and Sarah." -Unknown Climber at an Open Mic on the First Floor

HorizonEyes

William Oh one' bargained with tha tower fer power an traded his left han' fer it, the tower has yet to pay 'im back due to the interest, is' why Mr. Oh is THE Lord of the tower.

Korrasis

I heard William oh was told the tower was too strong for him so he lifted it with only one hand.

Korrasis

William oh now I get it.