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Okay, so I'm not particularly good at drama or climaxes, (or at least i don't feel like it)So The entire ballroom is a powder keg, just waiting to explode.Can you guys think of what might be the climax of the ball might be? Perferably something that isn't Perry's fault, and doesn't ruin Natalie's experience.I was thinking some kind of climactic battle that follows Perry back to the motel, where Nat's mom is waiting to be a bitch to them.the climactic battle falls out of the air, along with Perry's team, and they're like 'shut up and cower inside, Nat's bitchy mom!'Just not exactly sure what, where, how. Any ideas?I like the duel idea, or the arranged marriage confusion, but it's so cringy I struggle to bring myself to write it. It's hard to even keep it in mind, it's so corny.I mean, would you guys like a duel between Perry and George because Natalie stole Rodney's first dance and is therefore engaged, and canceling it is an insult?I just don't know how to do proper corny drama, since I recoil from it both in person and in writing, and I feel like that's a weakness that needs to be addressed.Anyway, any comments you have about how to handle a dramatic climax of the ball would be welcomed. Soemtimes listening to a bunch of ideas helps me define my ideas more accurately.

Comments

Moatdog

Definitely not the marriage stuff that is kinda cringy, it probably should be with his cousins tho since they were brought up before

Moatdog

Are Mox feathers fair game at these events or is it “cheating”

Daedalus

Not sure I'd buy the 'first dance = engaged' idea, as when Rodney was directed to do it, it was just a 'minor annoyance with no cause for offense,' and anything binding wouldn't fit with that. It could be funny if there's an unrelated Super fight that crashes in/through the building. That sort of thing has to happen a lot, so nobody is *really* fazed by that, but it does give a few people a chance to try and pull... something.

Michael S.

Grandma announces Perry's engagement to the girls. This is news to Perry and the girls.

Mehdude

There are a lot of magical creatures at the ball. What if some group of poachers staked it. Now Perry's gramma announced it also it's hella dangerous because there are a lot of powerfull creatures there. But maybe the idea of different factions working together or something.

Daedalus

Eh, Perry specifically said marriage was off-limits as a favor.

Macronomicon

oh interesting, an attack by magical poachers. Could go a long way towards establish a strong Anti-Manitian faction in Franklin City. good idea!

rwn

A swarm of fairy godmothers appears, fighting to bless Nat

Macronomicon

It's not cheating as long as you get away with it.

Michael S.

And that's why it isn't the favor. It's just grandma being pushy, and bringing up an old tradition that hasn't been followed for hundreds of years, and no reasonable person would expect it to be followed.

mhaj58

I recommend Marigold nominating Heather and Natalie as his first and second wife while the other parasites try to steal their positions so they can get Perry’s power through his genetic material. Nats mom should make an appearance attempting to bully her back home and Perry’s cousins attempt to kill her to hurt Perry. Heather Perry and Nat fight their way out of the ball guests using Breakers power and flee with Nats mother, who apologizes for her behavior and accepts Perry and Heather. The trio then make their way to Nats new home to have a fancy dance and then the dance of teenagers in bed. Maybe include the POVs of Marigold and John as they realize they have underestimated Paradox and his team.

Daedalus

Natalie would be first wife, not Heather.

Moatdog

Maybe those can get revealed and the cousins use it as an excuse to call him out on it? Or maybe since he’s only got one spell they say he’s unfit

Earnest

I'd be somewhat against the full marriage drama, because marrying Rodney to a nonmagical person seems like a really hard commit on Rodney/George's part just to mess with paradox.

mhaj58

Marigold wouldn’t miss the chance to bully her grandson and daughters in law. She knows who would be the first wife but giving Heather the first would be more entertaining for her

Macronomicon

Ah, you have given me an idea. Her mom crashing the actual party was not originally an idea that I had, but it COULD work. I may ditch a lot of the marriage stuff (for now) since it's a bit too early and a bit too campy, but i can probably keep a bit of the end. I think i'll probably steal a bit of the party crashers from a comment above yours and mix it with a bit of this comment.

Michael S.

Oh now I'm just picturing Nat's mom, sloshed because she she just lost her meal ticket, drunkenly hitting on Dave the unicorn, and causing a scene.

Drew

You could have Perry's grandma go full Cinderella mode and transform someone/something. ie. The pumpkin turning into a carriage. Maybe there's a time distortion and the ballroom turns into an abandoned parking lot where there's a rumble with a gang of anti-manitian forces... or super villains. Maybe Perry's dad makes an appearance to screw with his mother in law / son's girlfriends.

ciaran mullen

I suggest asking on royalroad as well for a larger pool of ideas loving the story.

Daedalus

Eh, I doubt Nat's parents would be that badly off. They managed fine before Nat Triggered, after all.

Kabir Kumar

For good drama, that doesn't feel cheap, there should be mistakes, choices made that have consequences- the most impactful one would be for Perry to have seriously messed up in some way, maybe misjudged something and maybe Nat fixes it somehow and it doesn't ruin her experience because she likes being able to help Perry as he's helped her. Or it's not ruined because she doesn't blame Perry for being imperfect and still appreciates the effort he went to for her.

Cyrus McEnnis

Ok. So it's a debutante ball, which means it's about introducing people to society and forming alliances &, arguably more importantly, rivalries. I'd build off that, probably with something like Perry defending John given that he's TECHNICALLY a temporary vassal given the mind control. We've got people fired up about going back home - there's got to be a group for whom that would be a Real Bad Idea(tm) possibly including Gramma herself. So that could be a potential friction point Politics is, at the heart if it all, around resource control:. He Who Controls The Spice, Controls The Universe. So maaaaaaybe you could run with something you've already touched on - Perry's magical supply chain issues.

Macronomicon

interesting. I'll let my brain chew on that for a minute.

Earnest

It seems to make most sense if the conflict is caused by the George/Rodney family doing something that clearly seems to advance their interests. If they tried to engage one of the sisters to Paradox now that he is a rising power that fits the bill better though not sure how they would manage that.

Earnest

Maybe some Frepon's could try to impersonate Heather or Nat with the magical shape-changing spell?

Cyrus McEnnis

Also, an easy and slightly foreshadowed source of conflict is Perry spraying his dance partners tits with Jizz In A Can. Gotta be someone who'd be a peer of his that'd take exception to a Faux Pearl Necklace.

SquiddlyWinks

Solaris shows up. “You’re going to ‘take,’ Earth’s industry, prince Zauberer?’ Using prince instead of paradox to show that Solaris is treating Paradox as a foreign threat to earth now. Slam cut to perry in jail, and then you can work off how he got there. Maybe the ball went perfectly but he comes home to see Mass Driver has leveled his place and then has to get revenge, obviously. So Perry’s sitting in jail for whatever revenge he did, and then Solaris walks in again and repeats his questioning from the ball.

Michael Telford

With how carefully Perry's been managing the ball so far, the final climax should be one of his own making. Heather and Perry preempt everything for a duel for Nat's hand, and Hardcase brings down the house. Alternate, the silly happens in the background, Nat and Heather dueling pink elephants summoned by the Unicorn Liberation Front, and Perry and grandma have a non-snarky heart to heart. Ending with Chemo (who Grandma brought in obviously for her finale) asking for Perry's opinion "since your Father is also a villain"

SunderGoldmane

The foreign power thing is a new dynamic… sort of. We have not really seen how manitians handle earth politics.

Crownfall

Someone insults Natalie/Heather/Perry and Natalie is the one to escalate, culminating in her arc of standing up for herself (and her friends) and realizing her self worth (also as a super hero). All of Heathers and Perry's and Grandma's prevention efforts fail in a domino of explosions as Natalie acts as an unforseen powder keg

Crownfall

Heather got a big moment in confronting her dad, perry seems to be aimed at an iconic/flat arc. Nat got a sideline big moment in confronting her parents but one on stage of her kicking off can't hurt?

SunderGoldmane

He did just commit to leading the people back to Manita. And he’s got a blood contracted sycophant hanging around him, who’s also aware that he’s being controlled. What if this sychophant starts really ingratiating the idea into the people and makes it even more of a concrete idea in citizens heads.

Scott

Rodney and Nat become friends, Nat adopts him as honorary little brother. It's his first real friend and treats him with respect that's not intentionally political. Also, behind the scenes of all of Perry's hired people working to head off problems for Nat's sake (unseen by her of course). The fixers are run absolutely ragged. (In addition to the drama that comes)

Ungrave

I was thinking some kind of external attack that has to be fended off with only magic and tech remotely while Perry finally gets a dance with Nat.

Josh Cothran

Could easily have a conflict with whoever’s there with the woman on whose chest he just put his creamy liquid

Scott

Like, actual brawling, yes.

PlasmaticPi

What about Perry's parents? Where are they during all this and how do people react to his Dull father? Would Mechanaut "happen" to show up to knock some skulls together after insulting him? And what about the grandpa? Would he possibly show up and try to woo Marigold and cause even more of a scene for being dull? Finally what if someone calls Perry out on finally solving the magic tech hybrid issue and some of the more powerful magic users get greedy for such groundbreaking stuff. Or call him out for not being a real magic user because of it, claiming thats how he used the light spell?

Jackson Andrews

I think you should write from the perspective of a team hired to ruin the ball. running into all of Perry's preplanned defenses. cumulating in Nat sneaking away to kick some ass on her big night. She knows how important this night going well for her is to perry and heather, and her putting some work in for that would make her more of an active character rather than just a damsel.

arnumart

I say go intrigue with a meeting of people at the ball planning to stop Paradox from ever getting the Manitians home because of a dark secret.

Trathnonen

Well first you're going to have to build up a climax. We're not there yet. Right now we've got some plotting cousins and a dracul that's been contracted to play nice. In order to plot a climax we gotta know what the point of this little gala was. Show off Paradox the not dull and gramma's heir apparent for the throne? What is Paradox's goal? Show Nat and Heather a good time?

LordDark

Someone pisses of grandma. She literally blows the place up and Perry has to clean it up.

Da Worst John

Would be amazing for a big fight to start up between Perry's Dad and grandma. He only sees the tale end of it as they are both throwing randomness at each other.

Darren Deloach

While "fighting" Hexen, so that they see Perry and the girls all dressed up/bother Grandma

Pierre laplant

Someone overheard that perry has abun'zaul and tries to nab a piece and does a magic Akira?

Macronomicon

that's a cool thought for something that could happen later! Will keep in mind.

A disgruntled nondescript squirrel

heh, climax. Human protesters get attacked by a very Japanized tentacle monster that recognizes heather as her daughter "mom!?!"

Alex Nimmer

If you want a more comedic scene, you could have the unicorn (forget his name) show up and “smell” the difference start proselytizing the importance of abstinence, implying that heather/Natalie/perry just fooled around and didn’t go all the way, then have the grandmother comes over, and start getting in their face about it because of her own agenda in grand babies, then the parents get involved and are just wackadoodle. This leaves room for the conclusion to be after the party a more serious discussion of their relationship, and what they want. Not sure if you want to dig into that though. Otherwise, doing something with Natalie getting a little lime light, and progressing her character more.

Zerith

Far too soon to blow George and Co's load, their in damage control mode and all they know so far is that "Crowd Controlling" Perry is Literally as hard as doing the same to a literal ballroom full of supernatural entities and have no other actionable information: Acting outside of politics is suicidal right now. Likewise, Nat read the damned book, she would know something as blatant as a (first) dance being a marriage proposal. I do like(LOVE!) the idea of nate sneaking out for a moment then doing the anti-party crashing bit while her cohorts are wondering were the big bad of the night is. As for something to crash/try to crash the party, we got a good number of super/magic factions, but no rep from Normies aside from Brandon. A (Para)Military faction trying to decapitate a 'insurgent force' that has Just declared the intent to conquer, if not Franklin city, the world, in order to assault Another world. Far too dangerous to let live eh? Even with some Tinker Tech to give them teeth, They are something Nat could Bully, even by remote while powdering her nose ;3

David Burchfield

I like the idea of him getting challenged to a duel by one of his cousins, then John asking to act as a stand in (so he gets a chance to actually beat a Zaubaner). It all acts as a catalyst for thawed relations between them and the Noctuls in general, and Perry is on better terms with John at the end of the night rather than worse. I also like the idea of the climax freeing up a bunch of causal energy (because it opens new options for Perry in the future) leading to another level up. Seeing a system quest that kind of guides him in the direction to go and the consequences for failure would be fun (since we haven't seen that in awhile). This could be related to the above request or completely independent.

Zerith

A duel can still work, but the Frepon know Perry is excessively resistant to magic, and that is ALL they KNOW. They know he can cast light, so what? is that all he can do? they don't know. Another party challenging him? sure, But not the Frepon brats who are, again, in damage control mode. They scheme, schemers don't go off half clacked jus because they can, they let Others take the risks for Them then sweep in to take the rewards that they are owed. If they go off on Perry now they risk Much. They win: the beat someone who was a known dull until recently, a weak caster most likely, it knocks Perry down but dos nothing for Them in and of itself. But if Anyone one else dos it for them? Perry looks weaker then someone Outside the family line and if they then Batter that 'upstart' down they look even stronger then someone who beat perry. This lets them gain More prestige with Less risk. But if they Loose to Perry? it raises a question, Is Perry that strong or are they THAT weak? No, Let other test the waters of such a wild card as this Paradox. They loose nothing to wait as of yet. That said, they may sick a hanger on at Perry.

LucasTheLost

I'd like to see a side-plot where Chemistro was there the whole time, observing, listening: undetected... Because OF COURSE Grammy sent him an invite. >:)

LucasTheLost

I think you mean Tetsuo. Akira in the anime only existed as samples kept as close to absolute zero as possible... until rhe other psychics broke the sample containers open and brought them together, while Tetsuo was going all vile flesh eruption baby.

LucasTheLost

Which would happen in a few minutes because of course he already set up a new LLC. He's already used it for the demon contract dart[s].

OldschoolDOS

Blue fairy fistfight, maybe leads to a botched spell that causes wacky hijinks e.g. mind swap spell, accidentally open a portal to the homeland and now fight magic murder creatures, his internal mimic gets triggered or exposed.

Pastor Joubert

marrying your rivals favorite concubines as a political move its a total train wreak.

Pastor Joubert

Thank the lord this aint some JP slice of life nonsense.

Deinos

Oh I know I know! The climax should be a game of chess! No, a Tournament of chess so everyone can participate!

Zerith

Not chess, Dragon Chess, ;3

Novel_Rabbit

Oops my totally-not-mind-controlled Friend™ wandered off and started “helping” seems like a fun plot point

Novel_Rabbit

This mixes really well with the ‘magical poachers’ idea, because of course they’re prepared to counter magic, can a super powered Nat

STORRM

was preys rival going to show up? just make every ones clothing fall off nat should like that lol but idk something completely outside anyone's control, like a super battle smashing thru or the cops showing up asking if they have a permit for the new street.

Gavriel

Someone casts a mass aphrodisiac spell, causing much political mess, and actually enhancing the night for Nat

SunderGoldmane

The problem with the ideas of some kind of power interruption is that it has to be by someone on the guest list, or someone that grandma planned on crashing the party. The idea that grandma can’t deal with someone who is there not as part of her plan so far seems absurd. The hints we have been given at her power level suggests that if there’s a fight that’s going to break out under her roof then it has to be something specifically planned to challenge Perry and she gave her blessing (implied or or not).

SunderGoldmane

Maybe chemestro steals something off every person Perry dances with and Perry has to deal with a new angle of bad PR. “Heir to the throne promises the world but stoops to stealing dance partners jewelry?”

Pastor Joubert

Cute ideas but why would you turn the His Royal Highness’s debutant ball into a public chess tournament?

Paratus

Lol. I was just thinking "What's a magical party without an orgy?" and saw this. =P

STORRM

true true i wonder if perry taking back there home planet was a part of her plan as well and hes just playing to her tune

Railsrains

Nice job on the Ballroom Climax. Very nice!