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I love audience participation because it takes a lot of the burden off of me to be perfect, because you guys have got my back and will point out stuff that doesn't jive right. so, without further ado:1: I'm getting comments to the effect that the captivity we glossed over was too long. Do you think it would be better if it were closer to a couple months or half a year? 2:As for the reason he didn't spend his points, I got a reason for that, but I'd like to try to use it as a punch line at the end of a chapter.  SEMI SPOILER ( He's got the sneaking suspicion that somebody arranged this to put him on the defensive and force a sub-optimal pick, and is refraining out of sheer spite.)3: I'm not entirely sure if I want Perry to be able to go back immediately or not.If he goes back immediately, it'll be back to Tyrannus, research, and babies. We'll be able to find out their names (i don't even know that) A lot of people upvoted that question requesting more detail on how they were conceived, which one was the boy which was the girl, etc. we will get into that if he's able to return home. And maybe a time skip to pass a couple years so they can at least talk.If something is magically blocking the portal, stranding both him and his uncle on Manita, expect maybe a kaijuu fight or three, a bit of monster harvesting for resources, and some good, old-fashioned uncle-nephew bonding (ass kicking)should i take a poll on it? How do you guys feel? Wanna get right back to domestic life, or adventure around a little bit? which plotline do you wanna pursue?4: Was there some other nagging thing I'm forgetting?

Comments

Thomas Issa

I would say Tyranus should definitely block the way back

Eden

Id love to see Perry make an outpost off world, as a fallback for if he or the kids (maybe dip into a bit of dad paranoia here?) Get kidnapped or whatever again? I don't know if it should be that simple for him to return 🤷‍♀️

Daedalus

I definitely think months is better than years, because among other things the sort of time dilation which can compress years into hours is…. Crazy powerful, and should be a priority for Perry to obtain so he can be a full-time dad, researcher, and superhero all at the same time. I am curious what’s going on in Chicago as well, but am definitely more interested in seeing Perry do proper research on Earth, maybe with forays into Manitia because something caught his interest. And Perry not wanting to spend his points should probably be brought up in the SCPerry chapter, along with a possible “this won’t really help the situation all that much”

Kurt A

So I think Perry shouldnt have been captive quite so long. You can chalk the rapid laxness of the guards to them not expecting to exist for more than a month(they can’t sleep, so their minds might degrade faster than you said even if they don’t need to). I think he should be present for at least a bit of the initial baby stuff, like at least a month or two, but maybe you could say that the portal to Manita, now that it was used, is degrading and he needs to go back within a month? And then he can’t leave until he activates the old gateway,

Aupsie

Slightly off-topic, but the jump from 202 to 203 was really jarring and a bit too confusing imo. Took me a bit of time to understand what was happening, at first I thought I missed a chapter Love your work, love the story !

Berks

The Manita stuff I think is a really solid pivot here. It opens the doors to the future plan of taking back Manita and honestly with the way it plays out it could give Perry a nice way of getting on equal footing with his new dragon rival. Plus like said before I loved the arc when Calvin was in the filter with all the power ups and such. I think it could be fantastic to have that for Perry too here.

Joshua Gunty

I think it's gonna be a real problem potentially leaving faux-perry in place for any real length of time, eventually Gramma is going to notice he's been replaced though maybe she knows that and let's it happen anyways trusting Perry will get back on his own, take the opportunity to teach the kids some bad habits. Though I refuse to believe Nat and Heather would miss him being replaced for more than a few hours at most.

Joshua Gunty

That said, realizing he's been replaced and actually being able to do anything about it are two different things. And all the responsible parties are stuck on Manita with Perry.

Kurt A

I’d like to point out another issue. It was mentioned earlier in the story that only someone on the level of Solaris could survive in Manita for any significant length of time, so how exactly did this facility get built/survive in the depths of the ocean on Manita, where Magical Kraken could get superpowers from the Tide?

Domy

Captive is too long especially with his atunement(?)/stability so high for 2 years, he would have gone a bit loopy,. maybe imply that he gets stuck off world so tyranus tries to be the fun uncle, trying (and failing) to bond with Perry’s children. We also haven’t heard from Perry’s best ( male) friend in a while (been so long I can’t remember his name)

Kurt A

I mean we know an Eder Dragon straight up Died from some Post-Tide madness

Dlandis

Straight savage mode is always good for a short stint. I don't see Tyranus holding him back because of the contractual agreements and his need for furthering that science of magical essences. If not for the children being born I'd have thought Grannie set up the kidnapping or at least allowed it through some convoluted means of making him into more of a macho monarch. Just my thoughts. Building the maintain empire was a quest option before so I don't see why Perry would need to hurry back aside from the pull of new-daddy-syndrome.

Bunny Waffles

Honestly? I REALLY want him to get back to his kids immediately. I don't want him to have missed the first months/year of their lives. I want him to be able to be the goofy, worried, but truly loving father we know he can be and to bond with them.

Ryan Naquin

Im all for adventure as long as the perry clone doesnt destroy his relationship with Heather. Things had finally progressed with them being willing to talk and now he's gone. If the clone is a dick to Heather, even if she figures out it is a fake, i doubt she would let herself be vulnerable again. Then we have this sitcom trope of two main characters orbiting around each other never making a move.

Macronomicon

I think it was mentioned that sweepers could visit for a time, like mom, dad and gramma can visit if they want, but they're not comfortable. Solaris could probably be fine there indefinitely. This would be like a graduation test.

Heedless

I'll agree that two years is too long. More from a narrative perspective than anything else: that long a period being imprisoned and experimented on would have a huge psychological effect, even on Perry. Brushing it away in a sentence or two of time skip feels exceptionally jarring. Maybe three weeks? That's long enough for the guards to start to get complacent (They still think of Perry as a null.) and for Perry to map out the contours of the restraining spell without feeling quite so much like Xianxia numbers.

Kurt A

Sure, but this would mean that the facility has Solaris level durability or cloaking, which seems really difficult to establish, especially for a refugee from Manita(even if he was a powerful and wealthy one).

Da Worst John

Honestly, I love the idea of Perry. Spending a couple months to get some seeds planted to secure some things from himself in the future. It makes sense for him at least have an escape plan if things go sideways with emperor scales

Atoms88

I could see him speed conquest the planet, if that got him the xp needed to power level and get home past a dragon's magic. If he had 2 years to digest all that magic research and do some tinker driven mind experimenting. he could probably do some crazy stuff.

Ori Shifrin

Perhaps some exploration of Manita? Rare resource gathering,stuff that Granny doesn't have/is embarassed at being short of. Sounds like a chance for some primo world building..

RainbowCatTopHat

One big question I had about throwing out that the captivity had lasted for YEARS was the logistics of it. Like the puppets don't need food, but Perry probably does. Is there an outhouse in the time dilation facility? With a time period that long I was even wondering about like Perry's hair and finger/toe nail growth. You don't need to cover literally all of these, but I feel like a throw-away line might help add a bit of weight to the time period they had him for. (Also I'm just curious what Perry's current haircut is like.)

Atoms88

I was kinda against the 2 year imprisonment, but he did need the time to go though all the research he read through, to catch up and advance past the dragon.

Atoms88

Also, Nat is going to 100% know thr clone is fake immedietly due to its soul. So his absence is going to be already known.

Leeland

Good point. I love the idea of him settling in for the long haul and a slug-fest and suddenly his girlfriends show up and are like "nope, you are not getting out of diaper duty this easy!"

Dax

Why is Manita still so, for lack of a better term, habitable? Whole civilizations fled to earth. Even those as powerful as the queen. Why was it still viable enough for Perry's uncle to build and equip this special lab?

Kurt A

Violation of the contract in all likelihood

LucasTheLost

I think the baby question really boils down to the following question: Will you be able to write it well because you've been through it? OTOH, Macro has clearly never been superhuman, or a dungeon core, or or or. OTOOH Nobody else has had those experiences either, so there isn't anyone to call you out when you get things wrong. Being a Dad? I'm guessing at least a quarter of your audience has been through (or is currently experiencing) a newborn baby. Swaddling and merconium and supporting their head because they cant... and stuff. The pure, unadulterated joy of a baby's laugh. Anyway. That's my take. If you can pull it off, then do so. If not, 1 2 skip a few 99 100

Khent Mercer

Getting back to earth should take work. It should be epic and we should get a chance to at least glimpse what drove his people from their home. But I don't think it should take more than a couple of months so we don't miss out on that goofy time. I too think the notion of Nat instantly noticing the clone and showing up to save is glorious.

Red Viking

I think it'd be fun if the time Perry stayed captured only amounted to a few months, he got delayed for a bit more, and he got home at about christmas time, so that could fulfill the quest. Plus the babies will be at about maximum cuteness around then.

Kurt A

Totally agree. Maybe the lab was built entirely on earth and then installed in Manita? Once it was placed it might have powerful enough enchantments to survive long term

worldly bee

Rather than just a Kaijuu fight, use it as a worldbuilding opportunity by having them explore some ruin Indiana John's style

Brent

I'm of two minds. A relatively short adventure on Manita could be fun, but given he just had 2 kids it doesn't feel right for it to take him too long. A bit of slower paced domestic stuff does also seem fun though. Maybe best of both worlds? He can't physically get back, but he finds a way to remote pilot his suit from Manita?

DBuck

I think the time gone is too long. It seems like nat would have noticed with her soul- smithing ability since she so frequently uses connected experiences with Perry. It would be cool to see Perry form a beachhead on Manita so he can start harvesting his own magical ingredients and plan future extinction events on the planet

Chris_T

Maybe use this as an opportunity to expand on Heather an Nat, how the function without Perry around. Let them come save Perry after he strands himself on Manita b/c of his hubris

Fervent Fiend

If the time gone from Heather and Nat isn’t too bad then I’m ambivalent on it, but on the other hand, the two year captivity is interesting. It has always been foreshadowed that Perry’s propensity for truly heinous violence was simmering under the surface, and only held back by societal pressure. Two years captivity, and stuck on another planet… he threw off more than magical shackles when he escaped, and now we can see what Marigold’s true heir is like when no one’s watching.

Carl Mason

Also probably stupid, how long were they working together on their research? A few weeks? They can't have gotten very far, that goose still has more golden eggs to give.

Thomas Issa

Tyranus has the stuff Perry gave him already, and is a talented researcher himself, and a ton of scientists, plus it would take Perry off the board politically and militarily, prevent and sabotage on his part, and stop Perry from catching up in understanding all of Tyranus’s prior research, and keep Perry’s extremely dangerous symbiote away whether Perry or his evil uncle has it

Jonathan Grant

1. The length of captivity seems fine to me. 2. I like that he stuck to his guns. He has a plan, having it tossed out so soon after he thought of it without exhausting all his options would be tedious. 3. You should write what you think you have the best material for. I don’t know how you choose what you write but you do a pretty good job of choosing something interesting.

Carl Mason

As many have said, maybe two years in time dilated captivity and regular torture is too long. It felt right to me given your description of events. Maybe send him through fewer rounds? Getting back to his babies (and his research) should be a HUGE priority, but with little infrastructure to work with it ought to take him some time to get back once freed. What is he doing on-world in the meantime? What are the girls doing without him, how long DID it take to figure out Perry was fake (not long)? What kind of captivity is Perry II facing with the girls? Does Gramma know about this yet, what is she doing about it? What, if any, is the time difference between Earth and Manita, plus dilation? How long is Perry gone versus time passing at home? Just how habitable is Manita, was the planet itself unstable, was it overrun with Tide Beasts, was their magical infrastructure failing due to unknown forces? The faster way out is probably just to wait on Uncle's investigation team and use their portal, starting the main portal is obviously going to take a great deal of time. How many people know about his points, how many know how many he has? Which of those few people would want to force the points' use? Is Perry just being Perry-noid? Can we reach any of the non-negotiable plot points without Perry having to go back? Maybe the girls figure out Perry II is fake and tell Gramma who sets up a watch on Uncle Dummy and they all breach behind him when he opens the portal, slice of family life adventure on another world... nah, that's too much. I think I have done enough damage here, thank you, good day.

Darune Albane

I can see him at least the island turning it into his "fortress of solitude"

Enzo Elacqua

I was under the impression that time actually passed, that’s why I’d don’t really like the years flying by. If it’s time dilation that seems better

Enzo Elacqua

I feel exploring the capital would be sick, could be a wya for Perry to send his grandmother a message that something went wrong and she goes to save him. Could also be his family already realized something is up but blamed on Tyrannus and so there’s been some conflict there, but since he can’t fight back it’s all been him akwardly trying diplomacy with these crazy angry women/dad robot

CMA27

He also had exposure to time dialation when dealing with the robot doctor(I think stacy watts now) so deff a tie in to getting that power.

Hayden Leech

Speaking of ism in post… when is that happening? Amazon? Audible? Emphasis on the audible.

Macronomicon

should be sometime 'round mid-october. I'll probs do an announcement round then.

Buzz1089

Too long? I think that might only be the case depending on how the time dilation worked. How long has he been gone from earth? Time skips are a wonderful thing that authors need to do more often.

Buzz1089

How long has it been for Nat? And her noticing makes it better. Gives her and Heather a chance to do things on their own to unravel the mystery.

Michael

This could be where he starts to 1. Make good on his purpose to retake Manita. Starting by making a forward base and enhancing it for the future; and 2. Maybe level-up on Minata and to use his points all at once, in an area where he is less-likely to cause catastrophic consequences.

Heedless

A dedicated secret undersea base (under the seafloor, even) is much more likely to survive an apocalypse of raging megafauna than a city. No traffic, no noise, no people to attract the monsters' attention. Plus, I think that the earlier chapter mentioned that the base had been built originally for Perry's grandmother, so pre-exodus.

SunderGoldmane

I want to see him adventure in manita for a bit but Perry would race back home immediately if it were possible. Every day he spends away from Berkeley is a day of the empires brainpower being spent on his research while he falls behind. He would also need something that can stop him from going back or make it worth his time to stay that outweighs his newly embraced titled of “dad” and the research arms race.

mhaj58

A time skip regarding Perry’s kingdom building in Manitia along with an established council regarding the various countries could be worth considering. Perry Solaris Stacy Watt-Powers Marigold and Tyrannus would be a good starting place. At the least I want to see the battle royale between them in the future.

SunderGoldmane

This is a good point. Maybe right now he literally CANT retake manita and uncle Charles showing up is more scared about being held captive here long term than he is of Perry. If going back to manita was just a matter of portal resources then they would have at least a subsidiary kingdom and trade relation going on with manita right now. There has to be some other reason why they can’t survive here. Now would be a good opportunity to figure that “why” out. Maybe the tide is qualitatively different and more powerful? Maybe there’s an invasive intelligent civilization? I vote no on that but maybe. As of now he’s only spent roughly a week of real time on manita and most of it has been on a secluded island that most likely has had regular private upkeep. But the wider world could be so much more dangerous. Maybe islands are more stable?

Cory C.

Also does his doppelganger know he isn't the original, or does it believe it is the original Perry? What's the double like power wise? If the double doesn't realize he's a replacement how would he react to finding out? It would only take about 100 times dilation for one week, the time Charles mentions, to be the two years Perry experienced (it would actually be closer to 1 year 11 months and change, but being too specific wouldn't help). Because of soul stuff I can't see it going much longer than that before people on earth start noticing things are wrong. If he's not able to come back immediately an earth perspective chapter of people at least figuring out what was going on and potentially working to figure out a solution from their end could be good. I'm not sure of the details of the contract between Tyranus and Perry so not sure if he could have been involved or aware of the deception. If he was aware beforehand he wouldn't have any reason to act on the knowledge until he confirms Perry's death, at which point he would likely fulfill his end of the contract. If he wasn't aware then how he reacts to finding out would likely depend on weather having the original Perry for any advances he makes would be more or less beneficial than having one of the few beings he may see as a potential threat removed. Either way I can't see him acting against Perry's family since that would go against the contract.

Daedalus

That’s dilated in the other direction though, not the “get more hours out of your day” way

David Burchfield

First off I think it is fine as is. My personal wishlist would looks sort of like this. 1: I like the length of the captivity. I would prefer less glossing over. Perhaps a blurb every few months, going over Perry's escape attempts and gradually shifting mindset. I see him sinking deeper into the Attunement in order to deal with the stress and isolation perhaps even spending a few points here. Also his mind isn't bound I can see him doing a lot of planning, a lot of designing, and a lot of research while his escape plan/opportunity comes together. 2: Well he was planning on picking some points up in attunement anyway and it would make his current situation easier to bear, I would love to see him slide a little on this. In addition I would love him to make some choices (like a research tinker subtype that would let him run mental simulations and help with research and design (including his spells and spell theory stuff) ) that would help him do work and escape while imprisoned. Then having to level again before going back because of his suspicions about being forced into the choice. 3: I don't want him to go back immediately either because of the above causing him to need to level or Charles attempting to strand both of them there (so his contingency with his own children could go into effect), or some other contrivance. I would also like to see a bit more of Manita. 4: He needs power and has all sorts of potential to harvest, I want to see him devour Charles right before going back through the gate just for the power boost(level) so he can be sure he is ready. Not out a grudge or some deep hatred for what he has been through (though that is present of course) but because Charles created this mess so he gets to fix it.

Cory C.

Had the basics of this in a reply to another comment but thought about it some more so here's my thoughts and questions regarding the immediate situation. It ended up longer than intended. Dilation His uncle mentions that it's only been a week, I can't see it going much longer than that before people started realizing that something was wrong on earth. The dilation to make that two years would be about 104.28 times if he was under it the entire time. He's been out of the lab for at least a day though probably two or three so it would have to be a stronger dilation. If he's not coming back immediately for any reason an earth perspective chapter could be helpful, either way there are some questions to consider from that end. Doppelganger Is the doppelganger an automata or does it have consciousness? Does the doppelganger realize he's fake? If he doesn't then how does he react when he finds out? It can't have Perry's full power set, so what can it do? Family How long before Nat realizes something is off? She has her intimacy soul stuff with spirit smith so she's likely the first person close to him to realize something is wrong. Heather has been shown getting closer as well so it wouldn't be implausible for her to notice quickly and could be used to show some advance to their relationship. Tyrannus Would the contract allow Tyrannus to have been involved or know about this? Would he be ok with this due to the removal of a rival, or would he rather the original Perry for any more advances he would make first? I can't see him acting against Perry's family due to the contract, but he'd want to confirm Perry's death before fulfilling his end of things.

SaltyC

Honestly, I still want to know what’s up with Brandon

Jeanean

Personally, I think leaving Perry stranded on Manita would be interesting. Sure, the Kaiju fights would be interesting, as would be some starting-over-from-zero-crafting. However, I think it would actually be more interesting if that time period focused more on Nats and Heathers perspective, how they notice Perry's replacement, and how they end up saving him. Cuase it makes a lot more sense for them to do the saving, considering they have all the resources, while Perry can only get equipment through his powertool-perk or Gretchen's manifestation. And Gretchens manifestation should be limited in usefulness since he should not be able to access his mental computer from an entirely different World. However, to make the whole thing worth it, if Perry ends up staying on Manita for any time above 1 month, I think it would be necessary for Perry to make some kind of discovery that gives him an advantage onn Tyrannus, otherwise he will just be lagging a month behind in research.

SunderGoldmane

I’d like to see Tyrannus try and fuck with Branden b/c perry forgot about him in The contract and then have all the shit he tries just fall apart. Branden is technically still an employee of Perry’s.

SunderGoldmane

If the doppelgänger is based on some kind of soul clone of Perry then once he finds out he’s a doppelgänger he should have slit his own throat in public at the hospital.

Kirvin

If you want a timeskip and Manita adventures I don't see why it would require Perry to be stranded. Presumably after he gets back he'll have access to Manita anyways, and there can just not be any major threats on Earth for some time. I guess 2 years is no Garth timeskip though lol.

0xFFF1

And it would be a giant miscalculation on the part of Charles. Who in their right mind would truly be able to kill themselves if they find out they 'aren't real'? Charles gets out of it in the immediate because he thought ahead an warded against postcognition in the area so he couldn't be pinpointed, but that it was a doppelganger should be obvious upon magical inspection of the corpse. (barring magical spoofing, I suppose, to appear like a real corpse to magical means)

Danielle Sanchez

the hell. Don't leave him stuck on Manita. Perry isn't that interesting all on his own. There's only so much literal and then a wizard did it I can take without other characters around.

Chad Burnett

If you do leave perry there for an extended amount of time it would give him a chance to make that beach head to retake his home planet like he said he would do, that said I do hope the uncle dies xD

Gaunt

Im aware this is probably the wrong place to post this; however, is there any plans for your Single Dad, Teen Necromancer work to be published? Patreon isnt fantastic for reading through it on mobile. I went to recommend it to some folks the other day and realised its still patreon only. If i asked this before and got a response, i apologize but my memory is rather poor at times.

kfir with a כ

I would like an adventure, I'm interested in seeing manita for a bit of a teaser before they conquer it. I think a poll would be the best option though.

Jeff Wells

That's on Royal Road, under "SoulMonger". Definitely a great read, I think that might be the one that convinced me to join Patreon, because I couldn't wait for the next release.

Stephen E Wilson Jr.

Hmmm, I'm on the Manita adventures™ Team. But not that Perry is stranded it's that Solaris needs him to work on it as Dangers from Manita are bleeding into the earth. Archdemons, Trolls and Whatnot. Solaris is a long term thinker and getting Paradox and his kids out of the line of fire for bit is probably smart but Professor replica is also only pacified because he thinks Perry is key to dealing with the tide. If he doesn't get enough info on Perry Stacy Watt-powers will be a concern. Threads on threads on threads a moving in this story. good stuff

STORRM

i was really expecting a more fucked up escape, like one of the baby's was a Perry clone from blood skip, and when the body melting worked his soul would be free from his body and then travel the long way thru space time until the baby body matched his currant age, or as the blood skip spell would finally trigger and his soul would end up in one of the babies it would explode in gore and Perry would pop out. then you could do the Futurama joke, he would then be protected from the dragon as his own offspring removing the need to keep pace with the dragon and skipping raising a kid.

Crownfall

Cardboard armor rebuilding industry with manita ingredients

Carl Mason

Banana leaf and coconut rind power armor. Weapons made of hermit crab shell. The Swiss Family Robinson is strong with this one!

Roeland

Fucked up idea indeed

Alex

So I think the captivity was quite long, particularly for those left on Earth. The whole Heather/Perry/Nat thing makes him being replaced quite uncomfortable. Did they not notice? Has it been business as usual? Did they notice but not manage to do anything to do anything to help him out? Obviously this is just my personal squick, but I really don't enjoy the thought of them being _intimate_ with doppelganger for over a year and never noticing. I definitely feel like some retooling there is needed.

Carl Mason

High ratio time dilation is good for preventing the squick. We also don't yet have any idea of what has been happening on Earth or for how long. The odds of them having been doing stuff and not noticing that something is very off with Perry are low. I remain ever hopeful.

Gaunt

Thanks man!

Ben Roberts

The one thing I don’t think you should leave hanging in the air is the doppelgänger situation. Flashback to nat/heather figuring it out within minutes of it happening but they play along because funny reason.

Phsteven

I’m almost certain that the dragon will immediately notice the doppelgänger as soon as he is no longer paying attention to grandma. No need to worry about nobody noticing because he is supposed to be helping advance magic theory, and I don’t think some random guy is gonna be able to work with even a 10th of the proficiency that Perry does. The time dilation will help him not miss too much…..

Phsteven

I’m fine with the length of captivity, though you can easily get away with long term stents on Manita by saying that time moves slower on earth, so the dilation’s effects were increased dramatically. Like to the point that the years he spent imprisoned could be just a couple of minutes on earth. I would absolutely love to see Perry start to tame the homeland while he is stranded there for a while. Maybe he makes a few revolutionary discoveries that he can keep from Tyrannus…