[Alien Priest] Fortune Telling (Patreon)

Strange.

The ancient creature mumbles to himself, reaching for a large book from the impressively tall shelves. His glance never leaves the cards, shuffling through pages with worried distraction.

Has his gift of fortune telling become faulty? No, it can't be. He's been reading the future for thousands of years, always with impeccable precision. Yet, he cannot explain the nonsensical result he's presently staring at.

While thinking about his all-powerful, all-knowledgeable God - Toby, in your pitiful human understanding - a handful of cards scattered from the deck. A glimpse into the immediate future, he could immediately guess. His charcoal claws picked up the first card, and the bells rang in shock and outrage: the Lovers.

Rubbish! The Cosmic God would never be involved in such pathetic affairs that other living organisms deal with. Toby is a perfectly rational, purely logical existence. This can't be anything other than a mistake, something the Alien Priest has never dealt with before. Perhaps the cards hold a different meaning, one he's soon to uncover in the scriptures.

Meanwhile, somewhere within the Hotel grounds, you approach your enormous gardener friend with a cheeky smile. Toby interrupts his watering schedule and turns to face you, awaiting your request. Though he's already read your intentions: you are about to ask him if he can fuck you again.