[Alien Priest] Shared hobbies (Patreon)

content: gender neutral reader, mildly NSFW, request

If you happen to love history or books in general, Alien Priest is your go-to buddy. He's a walking encyclopedia of ancient times, perhaps only less dusty. It's enough to express the slightest bit of interest in whatever information he just shared with you, and he will embark on a narrative journey as if he was there himself, witnessing as the events unfolding before his veiled eyes. Well, he was there, to be honest. If he foresees a great calamity or joyful change, he will travel to that spot and quietly observe from a distance.

"So, like, a journalist," you remarked once.

"A what? Don't insult me, little (Y/N). I'm a historian of the highest order," he croaked back.

The fact you're a grown adult doesn't seem to register much with the cosmic cleric. He acknowledges you're a fully matured specimen of your kind, sure, but in comparison to the thousands of years he's lived you wouldn’t even count as an infant, a concrete existence. How does that even make sense, you argued at the time, yet he just rattled his bells at you and ruffled your hair with his long, bony fingers.

Your passion for history and eagerness to learn hasn’t gone unnoticed. The Alien Priest will often probe your mind, nodding with satisfaction as he listens to your answers and musings, occasionally scribbling down his little notebook. He frequently presents you with mysterious tasks and demands your aid in handling his enormous library of forbidden tomes.

“If something ever happens to me, human,” he mumbles ahead, indifferent to your groans and struggles from the heavy stack of documents, “you must continue my legacy. I’ve trained you well, I dare say.”

“What am I,” you huff, dropping the tall pile on the table, “your disciple or something?”

“Indeed.”

“Is it part of the training to copulate with your pupil every now and then?”

“It’s more common than you’d think,” he chimes, unbothered, arranging some shelves. “Don’t act like you aren’t the one begging and salivating all over me.”

Point taken. With flushed cheeks and head hung in shame, you hand him the folders one by one. As much as you dislike admitting it, the old codger is rather skilled when it comes to lewd business. Particularly enthusiastic when you display your curiosity for ancient times; it seems that the cleric is greatly turned on by it. Who would’ve thought that being a history nerd can get you laid?