Monster HOEtel and Cuddles (Patreon)

content: gender neutral reader, fluff, from most to least cuddly

1. Puppy!Hybrid is perhaps the neediest of your monstrous partners. It’s not enough for you to be in his presence, he needs to feel it: the warmth of your skin, the weight of your arms around him, the sound of your heartbeat as he nuzzles deeper into your chest. When he’s not mounting you, he will cuddle you relentlessly, constantly trying to find new ways to close the gap between your bodies. “I physically cannot come any closer,” you say as your ribs groan under the pressure. The hybrid lets out a theatrical whine, then kicks his feet slightly in protest. He’s curled up entirely around you, like vines on a tree. Is it a crime to love you?

2. Cursed Child loves cuddles. You wouldn’t think so, especially given the terrifying screeches that she releases whenever someone accidentally touches her, yet here’s the secret: it has to be you. Whenever you’re around, she’ll find plenty of excuses to borrow some of your mortal warmth. She might get lost, so you should hold her hand. Her legs are tired, so maybe you could pick her up and give her a piggy ride. What do you mean she’s been hovering above ground until now? It’s still tiring! Thankfully her current vessel is light enough that you can fulfill these tasks without a lot of effort, though you wish she’d show her delight in different ways. These arteries are throbbing with life, she’ll whisper darkly, her many eyes observing the jolts of your neck.

3. Rock Star Demon is beyond greedy, but cuddles aren’t necessarily at the top of his list. They are more of a compromise in order to keep you close whenever someone else is around. He wouldn’t care as much if it wasn’t for your anxiety; so what if his manager finds him with his head between your legs? Alas, if this is what you wish…he will try to behave. Consequently, he keeps the public interactions with you child-friendly. Cuddles, snuggles, kisses, whatever you consider to be appropriate for the masses. Even with all these regulations, however, he will find a way to keep you on your toes. Is this needed, Sir, a fellow demon asks, eyeing your embarrassed self perched on top of the singer’s lap. Obviously. Can’t do interviews without my emotional support human, he declares with a bold laugh.

4. Toby doesn’t really do cuddles. Oh, he’d love to try out these little human customs you have, but his size is in the way, you see. Picking you up and spinning you around isn’t as romantic when a cosmic-sized God does it instead; your entrails would probably be scattered across the Galaxy. There is place for compromise, though. He’ll often give you head pats using the tip of his finger, or allow you to nestle into the crook of his gargantuan neck. Is that a faint blush forming on his empty features whenever you offer him a symbolic smooch? Moreover, you’ve noticed a faint buzz rumbling within his mechanical insides whenever you’re being affectionate, almost like a cat purring.

5. Alien Priest does not care for cuddles. He didn’t even know about your bizarre customs until you’ve introduced them to him. He is a creature of thought, a monster of wise words. Why would he confess his feelings by doing comical gestures such as pressing his body into yours? He’s literally just explained his fondness to you; nothing can be clearer than that. You don’t mind his purely intellectual affections, especially not after the incident. He’s tried - once - to entertain your puerile habits. His long, slender limbs hovered above you, and he stood stiff, mere inches from you. You could hear his awkward heaving underneath the mask. This should suffice, you reassured him. He does his best.