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Chapter 67 of Shrouded Destiny (SD) is out for Squires! (Patreon)

Published:
2024-06-10 02:10:06
Edited:
2024-06-10 02:39:01
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

Normal sized chapter for once-I did say I won't be able to keep up the pace of writing thicc chapters indefinitely. Worse, this weekend felt like the world conspired against my attempts to write-I managed to get a wisdom tooth growing out and annoying constant pain with no dentist working in weekends nearby, technical difficulties with google docs that just decided that it wont let me or my editors access the chapter I just finished writing, and many more, if smaller and no less annoying rl things.That being said, my frustration might have leaked into the chapter itself-if you think it came out poor or shitty, gimme some feedback, I might do a full edit/soft rewrite by Tuesday.You can read the previous chapters in the collection.

Files

67.docx

Obligatory disclaimer: I don't own ASOIAF; that honour goes to GRRM. Edited by: Himura, and R. Yorkshireman; B. Reader: Bub3loka I also want to thank everyone for their support and encouragement. 7th Day of the 5th Moon, 299 AC Ser Davos Seaworth, King's Landing Davos stared as the Fury approac...

Comments

Bertram K Reese

Truth be told I really like how you have written the story so far as I have no idea how this is going to end and I love that. Too many ASOIAF stories are pretty predictable, and yours has me on the edge of my seat each week. If you want to eliminate some pov's like Tyrion's and Dany's I would understand. With Ned in Essos their stories are kinda a moot point. Especially Dany's she feels like she is no longer needed unless you plan on doing the Blackfire thing. Other than. That keep up the great work.

Dhruv Bhatt

All of a sudden, I’m starting to see Shireen as a viable candidate for the Iron Throne…

Rick Malone

This story is so refreshing because of how much it changes around the beats of canon. The Starks and Lannisters as allies, Tommen as a competent squire, the white walker threat going out with a whimper, etc. The first half was rather exposition heavy, but I think it was necessary to show how Renly’s actions may be a case of short term win/long term lose. The scene with Tywin was funny, and would fit his character, but it just felt a little rushed. And even with Tywin not even entertaining the thought of Shireen actually being in charge, he does come off as a bit obtuse. That’s a minor quibble though, the rest was excellent

ND518

Love Shireen. Im hoping her and Ned meet up to sack Tyrosh.

Roguewave1737

Honestly, I think the story is still going great. I agree with a previous comment that the chat with Tywin perhaps felt a little off, but the thing that really would concern me would be evening plotlines and cutting POV's prematurely. ASOIAF fans like to see the bigger picture via different perspectives, and the minor POV's always bring something refreshing and interesting. Definitely don't do anything you feel is pointless or filler, but becoming a slave to just finishing the plot when things drag a bit is a real danger.

Cams797

I love almost everything about this story. The way you turned canon on its head instead of following the standard beats that so many fanfic writers do. I love Ned’s mentoring of Tommen, Shireen’s heroic rise, Renly’s absolute villain turn, and the grasping of the Tyrells. All of it is fantastic. The only thing I really haven’t cared for was Jon’s removal from the events of the South lol. I haven’t ever cared much about the Others and that whole plot line (canon or otherwise) because as a reader I find them to be empty antagonists. They aren’t human and don’t abide by human desires or motivations, so they are less interesting to me by default. I absolutely want to see Shireen crushing Tyrosh at the same time Ned is doing the same next door in Myr. 😂. Keep up the fantastic work!

LordApathy

I would love to see jon get involved in the south. We started the story with him but it seem the white walker plot is over and he really hasn't done much in a long time. Ned is currently the most interesting thread going along with the tommen subplot. I'm excited to see ned and shireen link up and come home to screw renly and the tyrells up.