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Chapter 12 of No Joy in Command is out for Squires! (Patreon)

Published:
2025-03-23 22:41:46
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

Oh look. People are wildlin'! Stuff is happening. Plot, crack, murder, magic and stuff! (I warned y'all since the start!)Do let me know what you think.Previous chapters in the collection.

Files

12.docx

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on the ASOIAF universe. All recognisable characters, plots, and settings are the exclusive property of GRRM; I make no claim to ownership. Edited by: Bub3loka Year 129 After Aegon's Conquest Jon Stark Returning without any fish, all solemn and broodin...

Comments

ModNsparksPhilo22

Oh I can imagine their faces when they reach the lair and find Jon eating

MehOhWell

Jon when under the gaze of nobility: Lmao, I don’t give a fuck about your opinions… politely Jon when losing his feathery friends: Imma end this bastards whole career Jon when under the gaze of his Scaly Boi: LET ME SOLO HIM

Pau khan sing Tombing

ayaya.... now we have to wait for week again ayayaya.... my heart cant go like this....XD

Aelila

I love every chapter, but every Sunday, my love grows for this story, with this chapter being one is my absolute favorites. It's definitely earning that crackfic! feature for sure! How many dragons are left, there's Silverwing and Sheepstealer I think, whom else am I missing? Let's hope that the rest of the Targaryens aren't quick on the uptake as Rhaena is, once all the other dragons are claimed expect for supposedly Vermithor. Although Jon now has a pass on verbally claiming Vermithor, he definitely has very valid reasons to not want to have to side with the Blacks or the Greens! It'll be interesting to see how the residents of Dragonstone react to Jon's killing of the Cannibal, I think they would try to keep it on the down low, as they seem to have no love for Rhaenyra and her family (for valid reasons). Thanks for sharing, I've been really enjoying this story, and I'm looking forward to next Sunday's installment!

Kurotanbo

It can't end here, I demand more pages!

SPJaymo117

Great chapter! Look forward to seeing the developments from here on out

Nicholas Fiend

Here lies Cannibal He was a lil bitch who killed and ate his own kin. Then came the good Ser Dragonwolf who killed him with a pencil and a bobby pin (size relative). Grey Ghost shared the name of Jon Stark’s pet at some point, and everyone knows you don’t fuck with Baba Yaga’s dog.

Jared Francis

really leaned on the legend of Sigurd eh? bathed in the dragon's blood, drank the dragon's blood and ate the dragon's heart

Jason

So uh does he conveniently have a linden leaf stuck to his back too?

Rick Malone

Crowd of small folk: “let’s go slay Cannibal! Only a huge group of people even have a chance against the scaly beast!” Jon Stark: “Hold my mead”

Omar Syed

Noice!!! In Western mythology, dragon blood, if it doesn't kill you, heals you and/or gives you wisdom. Dragon heart gives you super human abilities akin to a dragon's "strengths"(?) and the ability to speak to birds. Following this story, Jon drank the still living blood, ie still flowing, and literally bathed in it, so...immunity to dragon fire and/or other dragons able to smell that he is an apex predator maybe...🤔 Jon can already "speak" to birds, so...to other dragons maybe...🤔 Effin' cliffhanger though! Bloody writers and their hankering for the dramatic!

Bishop7053

Man need to rename the sword balmung. So she's obviously going the small folk to chase after Jon. And when she sees him covered in blood at the corpse of cannibal she's gonna give the small folk a show when she shoves her tongue as far down Jon's throat as she can go

Brewt

Jon goes full Siegfried. Edit: also if Silver Denys has Seasmoke then possibly the Hull boys are never going to be noticed if they weren't picked up earlier.

ShiroHige92

Nice chapter. I am glad that the plot is picking up the pace. What kind of magic abilities will Jon receive from his slaying of the cannibal?

Patrick Perrault

This has gotten completely out of control. Love it.

Myrdin

It will be interesting to see the effects of eating dragon’s heart, drinking its blood and bathing in it. Can’t wait to see reactions to Jon flying to the castle on Vermithor with Cannibal’s head. Interesting that Silver Denys managed to tame a dragon this time. Originally he was killed by the Cannibal. When Nettles tames the Sheepstealer, Jon is going to have a nice entourage of dragon riders, especially that Rhaena is clearly going to bond with Silverwing

Kage

Jon for Dragonstone lordship, he actually gives a shit.

Chelley

The whole of the Dragonmount starts to shake as Vermithor laughs his scaly butt off.

stevem1

Jon half starving himself while killing Cannibal seems to have triggered a ‘cannibalistic’ hunger. He’s the Blood of the Dragon after all. And it is somewhat poetic that the Cannibal is himself cannibalized. Recollecting back to my memories of Celtic and Norse myths, bathing in dragon blood should imbue a certain level of invulnerability. Eating a dragon’s heart should allow him to speak with birds or wild creatures (I forget which). Rhaena, Ser Broome, and the villagers coming upon Jon soaked in blood with a dead dragon at his feet will only add to his legend. Jon Stark, Dragonslayer. The Greens and the Blacks will be desperate to get him onboard, and more than a little afraid of him. Otto on hearing the news. “Jon Stark killed a dragon single handed? A small one, right? No? The Cannibal? And he ate Cannibal after? And he’s bonded to Vermithor?” Otto rubbed his eyes. Fuck. Turning to his grandson - really would it have killed Alicent to pay more attention to the boy? - he sighed. “Your Grace, have you considered abdication?”

Grimgoth

Dragon Slayer...I love it! The not-so-subtle allusion to Siegfried/Sigurd...which, according to many historians, is probably based on the legend of the Cheruscan Arminius (Battle of the Teutoburg Forest/Varusschlacht). Incidentally, "Arminius's" real name is unknown, but his father's is recorded as Siegfried. The naming convention at the time suggests that he probably also had something related to "Sieg" as his name. The "tarnkape" (cloak) he uses in the Nibelungenlied is supposed to be a poetic euphemism for the fact that Arminius lived among the Romans for years. This is just a theory, of course, but I find it quite interesting. Lord of the Rings also has many overlaps with the Nibelungenlied (the Edda and the songs on which they are based). Curse the author for the cliffhanger...when will he get tired of it?...probably never. ;)

Eric Lachance

The last sentence of your author's note is pretty hilarious.

Luxanna Aeterna

Nice seeing Jon getting that 'magical instinct'! Some girls jump into pyres, but Jon prefers some boiling blood shower.

thevolunteer

I wonder at what point Jon’s actions win him enough renown that Cregan is like “No, no, man is definitely a Stark. Totally related to me. Actually, he’s my kid. Yeah I was 6 when he was born, so what?”

michelle m

6 days till Sunday is gonna feel like a hundred years. ❤️

thevolunteer

It’s curious that so many people of Ashcove would be at Jon’s place. I wonder if Silver Denys claiming a dragon has him waving his newfound authority around and causing problems so the small folk were hoping for Lord Jon to help, only to find he’d gone out for a stroll. I could easily see Silver Denys planning on big dicking Jon with Seasmoke after Jon told him off last time, only for him to show up covered in dragons blood with a cape made from Cannibals wings.

Ryan

Just so good

Yanni

Please please let Rhaena claim silverwing. After all the crap she’s gone through, I need this win for her 🙏🙏🙏

VishihaHitachi

Wait so no Addam and Alyn , Silver Deny is the guy who claim he a descendant of Maegor right , bad feeling about that and he have some grudge with Jon , When our boy come back show up with Vermithor is best Rheana dear just claim Silverwing for god’s sake

khalid musadak

Is he also stupid now ? The ptsd + I’m going to kill a dragon on foot (when I can use vermithor)… dude first time I think it’s not you who wrote this.

deinekes9

"Gondor calls for aid!"..... wait, wrong franchise. Jon has failed himself into having a small.... not army, but at least the beginning of a militia. Perhaps the Triarchy fleet will find not a poorly defended garrison but a sizable angry mob fanaticaly loyal to Jon and officered by Ser Alfred and the clawmen with draconic air support.

Bukhari

The worst part is now I have to wait for next week 😭

Maniac000

Hopefully Jon brings back some dragon heart and blood for Rhaena to partake in. Their children will be the stuff of legends! They’d be the anti-Jaehaerys and Alysanne when it comes to their children :D Silver Denys keeps up his bragging about being descended from Maegor he’s not gonna live long as a dragon rider. As a smallfolk with no power it’s no big deal. But now you got a guy with a dragon talking about basically being royalty to the actual royals. I’m guessing no Hugh Hammer or Ulf as dragon riders, which is good. Alyn and Addam neither unless one of them flames Sheepstealer instead of Nettles.

Jared Francis

And now I'm curious on what Jon's title will be... Devourer of Dragons? Cannibal Eater? and most likely the halve starved smallfolk will soon be well fed...

Lotus92

Dunno why but I half expected a red star burning through the sky when Jon started his cannibalistic ritual

Pearl of the Orient

This is the story of Sigurd retold. By eating the heart Jon took the Cannibal's mana as his own. Jon's a Polynesian, Malay headhunter in this scene

sumanth jain

Waiting for one week is going to be tough , man

sumanth jain

Oh I forgot thank you for the chapter. Great entertainment

Folof312

John's meeting with Roddy "We Came to Die" Dustin and Cregan "That's How It's Done, Ned" Stark is what we really need. I'm pretty sure it would be a child's delight for John. Dudes are definitely legendary characters in the north

RalyDee

Just discovered your fic on AO3 and was impressed enough to follow you here a d read all available chapters. BRAVA!

Rhett Sellers

Fantastic chapter. Simply a marvellous read.