Hogwarts’ Holy Grail War - 205/206 (Patreon)

Chapter 205: There’s No Wizard More Compassionate Than Me

“Then I won’t waste any more words. Let’s get started.” Ethan snapped his fingers with a vicious grin. “Mordy, strip off his pants.”

“Got it, Master,” Mordy answered readily.

Several flashes of blade light swept past, and Tsai’s pants fell to the floor in tatters, revealing the black-and-white patterned boxer briefs underneath.

“Hmph. Hm-hahahaha. Hmhmhmhahahahahahaha.” Ethan’s smile grew more and more unhinged as he reached out to peel away Tsai’s final line of defense.

“Wait! I-I-I have something to say! Stop, please!”

With his chastity under threat, Tsai’s mental defenses collapsed without much resistance. The defiance he had shown earlier vanished completely, and he began begging in a low, servile voice. “I’ll tell you everything I know! Please, show me mercy. Don’t subject me to that kind of inhuman humiliation!”

“…All right. Since you’re willing to cooperate, we can have a proper talk.”

Ethan lowered the “big treasure” in his hand, looking somewhat disappointed.

It was a good thing that the other side had confessed without him needing to do anything, but why were these people always like this? Acting so tough at first, then turning into spineless cowards after only a few words.

It happened every single time. It ended before it even began. He never got to complete the full process, and it was no fun at all.

Ethan sighed almost imperceptibly, took a notebook and gel pen from the drawer of the bedside table, then looked up and threatened Tsai.

“I ask, you answer. Don’t think you can lie your way through this. Afterward, I’ll use Legilimens on you to check whether you were telling the truth. If I find out you lied about even half a sentence, then we’ll have no choice but to continue our little game from earlier.”

“Of course, Brother. You can count on me. I’ll tell you everything I know, nothing held back.”

Tsai nodded very sensibly, his face full of fawning, traitorous servility.

He could hear the implication in Ethan’s words. Only by telling the truth could he keep his life. Otherwise, the only ending waiting for him would be a ruined rear, a floor covered in misery, and death with his eyes wide open.

But since he had already fallen this far, unable to run and lacking the courage to die, what else could he do besides obediently cooperate?

It was like being forced to bend over and take it. Since he could not fight back, he might as well find a position that hurt less. Maybe if he satisfied the bastard enough, he would even get a few coins tossed his way to buy some medicine.

One could only say Tsai had always been this good at making peace with things. Otherwise, he would never have been able to remain on the fringes of the organization as a nobody and still find joy in hardship.

“Very good. Looks like you’re a smart man.”

Ethan nodded and began questioning him.

This was the interrogation method Snape had taught him. Start with everyday details and record all the information in writing. Once every question had been asked once, ask the same questions again in different ways and compare them against the earlier records. If this Mr. Tsai lied, it would be easy to find contradictions.

“What position do you hold in the Ashwinders?”

“I used to guard prisoners in the dungeon and handle the surplus population on the side. But after we came to Red Grave City, I was transferred to the Holy Grail Chamber as a guard.”

“The Holy Grail Chamber?”

“It’s where the Holy Grail is kept, inside our current stronghold in Red Grave City. Oh, and that stronghold is the hollow space beneath this city. After we arrived in Red Grave City two months ago, we chose it as our base. Right now, the Ashwinders have 114 Black Wizards left in total, and all of us are holed up in that cavern. The stronghold is divided into four areas…”

“Stop, stop. Hold on. You don’t need to dump everything out at once. We’ll go through it one thing at a time.”

Ethan cut off Tsai’s habit of answering far more than he was asked, his face dark with exasperation, while the pen in his hand flew across the page so quickly it almost left afterimages. Why do you look even more eager than I am to spill all this intelligence? Are you some Ministry of Magic spy planted inside the Ashwinders?

“So you’re saying the Holy Grail is currently in your hands?”

“That’s right. The first thing we did after arriving in Red Grave City was confirm the Holy Grail’s location. The stronghold was also built nearby according to the principle of proximity.”

“Since the Holy Grail fell into your hands, I assume you must have tampered with it?”

“That’s right. Caster used her Magic to alter the Holy Grail’s structure. But I don’t know exactly what was changed. I’m just a nobody. I only heard about that much while I was on guard duty and other people were chatting.”

“…I’m not interested in where your information came from. Just answer the question.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You mentioned Caster just now. Aside from Archer and Caster, which other Servants have you summoned?”

“Apart from the Saber in your hands, the remaining six Servants have all been summoned by us.”

“What are those Servants’ True Names?”

“I’m not too sure. The ones in charge of Summoning were the organization’s core members. Low-level people like us only know their Class names.”

“What about their appearances? You must have run into them a few times, right?”

“Other than the Archer who fought you, I’ve only seen Rider and Berserker.” Tsai blinked, trying hard to recall what those Servants looked like. “Rider is a beautiful girl with purple hair, carrying a cross taller than a person. Berserker is… a Bull-Headed Beast.”

“Oh…” Ethan’s expression turned strange, and he nodded thoughtfully.

After asking for some other information, such as the entrance to their lair, the access password, and the guard assignments, Ethan ended the interrogation. He tossed the now-empty gel pen into the trash can and slowly digested the information he had just recorded with his previous experience interrogating Vito Airo in the Forbidden Forest.

…

Ethan had also given up on prying the identity of That Person out of Tsai. Leaving aside the fact that a low-level member like him probably would not know in the first place, it simply was not worth the risk if asking one more question might make him explode.

Besides, the restriction That Person had placed on him seemed to concern only his own identity. As long as Ethan did not cross that line, it would not be triggered. So after testing him with a couple of questions, Ethan dared to remove the invisible barrier around Tsai and questioned him thoroughly about their lair.

Aside from the key information about the location of their lair, the most valuable details left were Rider and Berserker’s identities.

If Rider was a purple-haired beauty carrying a cross, then she was most likely the Iron Fist big sister… ahem, Holy Maiden Martha. That said, he still could not help thinking of a certain several-thousand-year-old dual-pistol granny.

Wait, why did he suddenly feel a chill skim across his scalp?

As for this Bull-Headed Beast Berserker, with a feature as obvious as a bull’s head, it probably could not be anyone else. It had to be Asterios. This was not some Lostbelt, so surely they could not have summoned Arjuna Alter, right?

If it really were Arjuna Alter, he would probably fire off Mahāpralaya on the spot and humanely dispose of all these heretics.

Asterios was the Minotaur, the monstrous bull from Greek mythology slain by Theseus. His Noble Phantasm, “Chaos Labyrinthos: Eternally Unchanging Labyrinth,” was the materialized form of the labyrinth where Asterios had been imprisoned, a Grand Magecraft close to a Reality Marble. Once activated, it would form paths based on the renown of the concept of a “labyrinth.” Its effect continued until Asterios wiped out all enemies or perished himself, and even if it vanished, it could be rebuilt after a short time. Its complexity was so extreme that once you entered, you would literally lose all sense of direction. It could be called humanity’s oldest layered trap. And because it was a conceptual labyrinth, brute force could almost never break through it. The only option was to do what Theseus did and take the shortcut of killing Asterios himself.

After all, Asterios’s greatest value as a Servant was his Noble Phantasm. As for the rest… they could talk about Status Parameters after getting past Heracles first.

So this very useful “Chaos Labyrinthos” would most likely be used by them as a defensive measure for their stronghold. That needed to be marked as important. When the time came to storm their headquarters, he would have to pay close attention.

What? Since he knew the enemy lair was rigged, why would he still launch a frontal assault? Could he not just wait for them to come over one by one and throw themselves at him?

Emmm. Ever heard of a magic map?

Even if the preparation time was too short for him to make a Marauder’s Map like James and the others, one that could plot everyone’s movements in real time, a simple map that automatically charted nearby building structures would be enough.

After all, a prepared maze was only structurally complex. Unless it was rebuilt, its layout and passages would not change. And even if that method of scouting was blocked, it still would not matter. He could just explore the map like he was playing a game, clearing one room after another… marching straight through and recreating the pure-love warrior hunting the Bull-Headed Beast.

No matter how strong Asterios was, he was not stronger than Heracles. If Ethan ran into him, would he not handle him easily?

(Jason: How dare you insult Heracles, you bastard!)

Besides, Ethan had no interest in waiting for the other side to come at him one by one like the Calabash Brothers saving their grandfather. There was no need to waste too much time on this. If he helped Alanna settle things quickly, he might even make it back to Hogwarts in time for Christmas.

And since the professors had not discovered that he had snuck out, it was better to keep it that way. Otherwise, he would be in for another round of loving education.

At present, the only thing in all of Britain that could sincerely make the fearless Ethan feel afraid was probably a scolding from the professors.

That was suppression by authority. He could not argue with it, so he surrendered.

“That’s it. Thank you. The information you provided was very useful.” Ethan closed the notebook and gave Tsai, who was still hanging there like a roast goose, a kindly smile.

“Then does that mean I can…” Tsai looked full of anticipation.

Since it was over, did that mean he could get his life back? After all, unlike him, they were still proper wizards. They probably would not really do something like burning the bridge after crossing it, or killing the donkey once the millstone was no longer needed… right?

“Yes. You can go on your way in peace.”

Ethan’s expression suddenly changed, his face full of savagery and cruelty.

“You!” Tsai’s face instantly turned deathly pale.

Ethan suddenly burst out laughing.

“I’m kidding. Pleasure doing business with you. You can go.”

“Really?”

“Of course. How could that be fake? There’s no wizard in the world more compassionate than me. I always keep my word.” As Ethan spoke, he snapped his fingers. The scraps of Tsai’s pants, which Mordred had sliced into pieces earlier, flew back onto him and reassembled themselves, while the restraints binding his hands and feet loosened on their own. Caught off guard, Tsai fell straight to the floor.

“Before you leave, I still need to place a restriction in your mind. If you leak even the slightest thing about us, your head will explode into roasted brains. It’s for our safety. Once the restriction is in place, you can leave. No problem with that, right?”

“Of course, of course.” Tsai nodded rapidly, thinking that as soon as he got back, he would hurry to That Person and have him remove the restriction. That way, he would become a hero who had infiltrated enemy territory to gather intelligence. Not only would he keep his life, he might even receive a reward from the organization. Wouldn’t that be perfect?

“Thank you.”

With the restriction placed and his mind settled, Tsai gave Ethan a friendly smile.

As long as he could get through this final hurdle and make his escape, it would not be long before he got promoted, earned a raise, became CEO, married a rich beauty, and reached the peak of his life.

“You’re welcome, Sir.” Ethan gave him the same kindly smile, and then...

“Stupefy (Kinetic)!”

Ethan suddenly knocked Tsai down with one punch, then aimed at the back of his head and followed up with a kick.

“Obliviate (Physical)!”

...

Chapter 206: His Mouth Says No, but His Body Says Otherwise

Back in the same clearing as before, Alanna and Mordred made sure no one was nearby. One set up a simple Muggle-Repelling barrier, while the other contacted Ethan telepathically to signal that the coast was clear.

Pop!

Almost the instant the signal went out, Ethan Apparated into the clearing with the unconscious Tsai.

“Master, are we really just going to dump him here? Wouldn’t it be better to finish him off?” Mordy drew a finger across her throat.

“There’s no need. We’ll leave him here until an ordinary passerby finds him. They might have something like a Soul Lamp that can tell whether he’s alive or dead. If we kill him now, it could compromise the secrecy of our next move.” Ethan tossed Tsai onto the ground and dusted off his hands.

“But what if he gets his memory back...” Mordy hesitated.

“Don’t worry. I’ve already scrambled his brain beyond repair. No matter what treatment he receives, he’ll spend the rest of his life as a complete idiot. Forget recovering his memory. He’ll probably have trouble even walking upright.” Ethan nudged the future vegetable lying on the ground with his foot, utterly confident in his work.

“Ugh. You might as well have killed him. This sounds even worse than death.” Mordy shuddered.

“Well, I’m a kindhearted person. Ruthlessly taking someone’s life is simply too much for me.” Ethan spread his hands, looking perfectly innocent.

“Right. Kindhearted...” Mordy rolled her eyes, her expression plainly saying, Like hell I believe you.

Ethan had never intended to let Mr. Tsai go in the first place. He had decided from the start that once he extracted the information he needed, he would dispose of Tsai after he had outlived his usefulness. Even if Ethan did not kill him outright, he would reduce him to a brain-damaged invalid. This was not because Ethan was excessively cruel or inhumane. It was simply because Tsai belonged to the Ashwinders, and Ethan had no mercy to spare for him.

Admittedly, Tsai was only a low-ranking fringe member of the Ashwinders and had barely participated in their brutal raids and robberies. That still gave Ethan no reason to go easy on him.

Every person was an individual, and no one should be judged solely by the stereotypes attached to their faction. Gryffindor had both Albus Dumbledore and Peter Pettigrew. Slytherin had Voldemort and his Death Eaters, but it also had Severus Snape and Regulus Black.

Yet regardless of your position or beliefs, the moment you willingly chose a side, that side became your calling card.

It was no different from war. Everyone who stood among an invading army was an invader. It did not matter whether you were a senior officer sitting in a command post, a soldier fighting on the front lines, or a janitor stationed in the rear who had never set foot on a battlefield. The moment you joined the invading force, you became an invader. You might conduct yourself honorably and refuse to stoop to underhanded schemes, but that would not change what you fundamentally were.

Perhaps you had been coerced into joining the Ashwinders. Perhaps your family was destitute, and you had only wanted to fill your stomach. Even so, most people in this world would never choose to commit evil, even under the same circumstances or far worse ones.

“Life is something I desire, but there are things I desire more than life, so I will not cling to life by any means necessary. Death is something I detest, but there are things I detest more than death, so there are dangers I will not avoid.”

There were plenty of ways to make a living. If you could not bear to commit evil, why join a group of dark sorcerers in the first place?

That was why Ethan showed this so-called low-level member no mercy. To put it plainly, Tsai had not become a guard and warehouse manager because he was unwilling to commit evil. He simply lacked the opportunity because of his low rank.

Ethan was not afraid of some sanctimonious do-gooder standing on the moral high ground and condemning him, either. A few stray remarks were not enough to send him into a depression, and he certainly was not mild-tempered enough to let others walk all over him.

If anyone nagged him until he lost his patience, he would give that foul-mouthed bastard the same ultimate humiliation.

Ethan pulled a wand from inside his robes. It was the one he had confiscated from Tsai earlier. With a few light flicks, he forced the man lying on the ground onto all fours, ass in the air. Ethan then gave a practiced, heartless grin and smoothly shoved the wand deep into Tsai’s asshole.

“All right, that should do it.” Ethan wiped the nonexistent sweat from his brow with satisfaction, then turned and gestured for the two girls to withdraw. “We should get out of here. If the cops show up, we’ll never be able to explain this.”

“Agreed.” Alanna nodded, her face flushed.

“Same here.” Mordy grinned.

“All right, time to run for it!”

Ethan took both girls by the hand and hurried away with a spring in his step, making the sound effects of a Ripple-powered escape as he went.

“Master, what are we having for dinner?”

Mordred’s face was full of anticipation as she jogged alongside Ethan. “Didn’t you say you were going to cook for us? I want to try food from your homeland.”

During her lifetime, her culinary experience had consisted mostly of Gawain’s “special” mashed potatoes and the worst British cuisine had to offer, so she had rarely tasted anything genuinely delicious.

She had also inherited most of a king’s appetite and was a born glutton, so she had been eagerly looking forward to modern food ever since she manifested. Besides, Master came from a land famous for its cuisine. Surely he knew how to cook a decent meal.

The more she thought about it, the more she felt she had struck gold by answering the summons to this Holy Grail War. Not only had she found a Master she could entrust her life to... ahem, entrust her back to, but she could also indulge herself in all kinds of delicious food. Could anything in the world be better?

“I’m a little tired today, so we’ll make do with something simple for dinner. That fast-food place up ahead looks fine. Let’s go there.” Ethan pointed toward a KFC by the roadside.

“Huh? Master, aren’t you being way too stingy? You think you can fob me off with fast food? That moron we met at the arcade was going to take me out for French cuisine.”

“Stingy?” Ethan sneered. “You’re awfully picky for a freeloader who can’t cook and just sits there waiting to be fed. Are you coming or not?”

“I’m coming, I’m coming. Of course I am. As long as it’s with Master, I’m happy to go anywhere.” Mordred hurriedly nodded, though she could not help grumbling inwardly.

If I don’t know how to cook, then teach me. Stupid Master...

Despite what he had said, Ethan ultimately took them to a French restaurant and reserved a secluded private room. They needed to discuss the information they had just obtained in greater depth, and the noisy atmosphere of a fast-food restaurant was hardly suitable.

Yes, that was the only reason. It certainly was not because he could not bear to feed them nothing but fast food.

“My, proper food really is much more satisfying. Having only fast food for dinner would have been far too careless.”

Mordred handled her knife and fork with impressive poise as she cut into the steak on her plate. If one ignored her hamster-like cheeks and the speed at which she chewed, which rivaled a running engine, she almost looked like a well-bred young lady from a respectable family.

“Oh, give me a break. Weren’t you happily devouring a bag of expired potato chips yesterday?” The corner of Ethan’s mouth twitched as he mercilessly exposed Mordred’s true nature.

“Those were snacks. Just snacks! For a proper meal, food like this is obviously better,” Mordred insisted, lifting her chin defiantly.

“Yes, yes. The future king is always right.” Ethan nodded along sarcastically while casually working his way through the spaghetti on his plate.

“Master, that’s enough. Are you trying to pick a fight again?” A vein throbbed faintly on Mordred’s forehead.

“All right, both of you, stop bickering.” Alanna once again stepped in as the peacemaker. “Mordy, don’t take Ethan too seriously. He may have a nasty way of speaking, but he doesn’t mean any harm. And Ethan, you should stop teasing Mordy all the time.”

“Alanna, I take issue with that. What do you mean I have a nasty way of speaking?” Ethan stared at her speechlessly.

Alanna, you’ve changed. You’re not the gentle, refined, well-mannered little sweetheart who used to take half a day to get a single sentence out anymore.

Who taught you to be so vicious? Are you naturally devious without even realizing it?

“What’s wrong? Was anything I said untrue?” Alanna looked perfectly innocent. “Aren’t you best at provoking your enemies with that vicious tongue of yours?”

“Ahem. That may be true, but you don’t have to put it quite like that.” Ethan coughed twice and guiltily changed the subject, casually placing a Muggle-Repelling Charm over the private room.

“Enough of this nonsense. You both heard what Tsai said. Apart from us, all the remaining Servants are on their side. That means we can’t recruit any more forces or seek cooperation from anyone else. We’ll have to fight while outnumbered. Taking them down one at a time would obviously be ideal, but we also need to prepare for the possibility of being surrounded and attacked all at once.”

“I understand, but under these circumstances, what happens if they mobilize their entire force against us? Can we really win?”

Alanna’s face immediately fell. With a worried frown, she began analyzing their current situation.

“They have six Servants in total, while Mordy is the only proper Servant on our side. There are plenty of Servant Shadows in my book, and I can summon several at once, but the combined Spirit Origin strength of multiple Servant Shadows is nowhere near enough against genuine Servants. To compete with them, I would have to concentrate all that Spirit Origin strength into a single Servant. That means we can only field two combatants at once. There’s no way two people can beat six.”

“Alanna, are you forgetting about me?” Ethan pointed at himself with his thumb and chuckled. “I can wrestle Heracles head-on. As long as I put in a little effort, taking down one or two Servants by myself shouldn’t be a problem.”

“But I’m worried something might happen to you,” Alanna murmured reproachfully. “I know you can fight a Servant head-on without being at a disadvantage, but that only means your Status Parameters are roughly equal. Servants have Noble Phantasms. If one of their Servants possesses a Curse like Cú Chulainn’s Noble Phantasm, you won’t have any way to deal with it.”

“But we still have you, don’t we?” Ethan pointed at Alanna again.

“Me?” Alanna tilted her head in confusion.

“Yes, you.” Ethan nodded. “You may not realize the strategic significance an out-of-spec participant like you has in a Holy Grail War. Sometimes, victory isn’t determined by a Servant’s raw strength, but by their special abilities. You can deploy different Servants to suit different situations, which makes you the key to winning.”

“If I’m right, the Rider they summoned should be Holy Maiden Martha, the woman who served the Chosen One and tamed the evil dragon Tarasque. Since she manifested as a Rider, she probably brought Tarasque with her as a mount. That makes her an exceptional Rider.”

“A member of the Dragonkind even stronger than a fire dragon? Doesn’t that make our chances even worse?” Alanna looked utterly dejected, as though she might burst into tears at any moment.

“Don’t lose heart yet. Let me ask you something. Which Saber did you summon?”

“Siegfried. Why?” Alanna asked, puzzled.

“What is Siegfried famous for?”

“He defeated the evil dragon Fafnir... Wait, are you saying...?” A sharp gleam flashed across Alanna’s glasses like Conan’s as she excitedly sought confirmation.

“Exactly.” Ethan nodded emphatically. “Because of that feat, Siegfried has special effectiveness against Dragonkind. Tarasque is as good as dealt with.”

“Without her mount, Martha loses most of her strength. As a Holy Maiden, she also lacks particularly powerful Personal Skills for direct combat. Overall, she’s more of a support-type Servant. I might not even need to step in. Mordy could probably overwhelm her by herself.”

“Master, what’s that supposed to mean?” Mordred slammed a hand on the table and shot to her feet, looking indignant. “You’re making it sound as though I’m weak.”

“Can you beat me in close combat?” Ethan glanced at Mordred.

“...No.” Mordred’s momentum vanished instantly, and she slumped dejectedly back into her chair.

Damn it. Why does someone this absurdly powerful have to be a Master? At this rate, I won’t have any chance to show what I can do!

I wanted to show Master how strong I was, but compared to him, I barely even count...

“As for Berserker, I suspect it’s Asterios, the Minotaur of Greek mythology. He isn’t particularly exceptional as a Servant, but his Noble Phantasm is unusual. They’ll probably use it to establish defenses around their stronghold, so we’re unlikely to encounter him on the main battlefield.”

“Of course, all of this is only speculation. We still don’t know whether any of it is true, so we need to remain vigilant. Make bold assumptions, then verify them carefully. Still, as long as we follow this line of reasoning and adapt to the situation, splitting up the battlefield should be enough to make defeating them fairly straightforward.”

Ethan took a sip of lemonade to moisten his dry throat. After thinking for a moment, he addressed the two girls.

“Actually, the Servants aren’t what concern me most. They’ll always have weaknesses, and we can find ways to counter them. What truly worries me is the Holy Grail.”