My Grandfather Is Rick - 75/76 (Patreon)

Chapter 075: A Small Sacrifice

“Hahaha! Rick is back, baby!”

Three days later, the three of them stood outside the police station in short skirts. Rick looked downright thrilled, a stark contrast to Morty’s ashen face.

The fact that they’d been released after only a few days naturally wasn’t because Morty or Jerry had somehow maxed out their “Eloquence” skill and talked the officers into letting them go.

It was simply because the cops had gone through the law books from cover to cover and couldn’t find a legitimate charge to stick them with.

Offense against public decency?

That law had been repealed decades ago.

After all, compared to the old days, modern society was already incredibly open-minded.

Back then, the three of them probably would’ve been burned at the stake just for wearing pants...

Since there was no way to charge them, the cops could only give them a choice: either walk out wearing skirts, or walk out wearing pants and get arrested all over again.

Then repeat the process until they finally agreed to put on skirts.

With Rick having no intention of resorting to violence, Morty, a red-blooded man through and through, could only tearfully put on a skirt and stand outside the police station, letting the occasional breeze brush against his hairy legs.

But damn.

Once he had the skirt on, the whole world somehow felt different.

It almost made him want to go all the way and get himself a Lolita outfit!

[Jesus! How the hell could I even think that?! No! Get out of my head! I would never think something like that!!!]

Morty silently lowered his head, ashamed of the thought that had just flashed through his mind.

“All right, motherfucker! Jerry! You wanna prove yourself, right?”

“Then let’s start right now!”

After butting heads with Jerry for the past three days, Rick was determined to beat him at his own game. He was going to make that little bastard understand one thing...

Being a pathetic sycophant never ends well!

You think blindly obeying women will get you everything you want?

Way too naive!

Whether in ancient times, the modern era, or even the future, what truly rules the world isn’t gender, intelligence, or some pathetic sycophant sucking up to everyone!

It’s violence, and whoever takes the other guy out first wins!

But since you’re asking for an ass-kicking, I’ll be happy to oblige!

Rick pulled a pair of sunglasses from his shirt pocket and slipped them on.

“Morty! Let’s roll!”

Morty had absolutely no desire to get dragged into a war between his grandfather and his father.

He shook his head outright. He’d rather sell his soulless, purely physical body in this little town and satisfy the women’s dopamine cravings than even think about getting involved.

“Fine! Since you wanna stick around this little town and experience a different kind of fun, I’ll see you in a week!”

With that, Rick strode off.

The moment Rick left, Jerry headed off without a word as well.

Morty watched the two of them go their separate ways, each preparing to recruit muscle, build up their own faction, and have a proper showdown. Then he slowly let out a sigh.

Let them fight.

At least I finally get a chance to relax.

Over the past six months, those three days he’d spent locked up had been the only time he’d felt the relief of finally getting a break after half a year of nonstop overtime.

The pace of his life had finally slowed down.

So what should he do now?

He didn’t have a portal gun and couldn’t go back anyway, so he might as well wander around the little town and see what his biological mother and sister were up to.

Morty took a few steps forward. A gust of wind swept past and lifted his skirt.

Then he heard someone whistle behind him.

Turning around, he saw the blonde cop who had talked to them earlier staring right at him with an unabashed, cheeky smile.

[Holy shit! Acting all proper back in the police station, but the second you step outside, turns out you're a wild beast with a thing for teenage boys!]

Morty considered the money in his hand, which didn't seem usable in this place anyway, and took a closer look at the blonde cop's face.

Not bad! A solid seven out of ten, worth sacrificing himself a little for!

So Morty turned around and walked back over. The moment he came over, she seemed to get a bit nervous.

"What is it? If you want to file a complaint, call it in yourself."

"No way, pretty lady! My dad and Rick had a fallout. Could you take in a little brother like me? I can give you a good time every day, hehe~"

"Uh..."

Looking down at Morty, who barely reached her waist, the blonde girl really wanted to say that putting his age aside, with a height like his, he was practically pushing her physical limits.

But as the saying goes... strike when the iron is hot!

Without a second thought, the blonde girl threw her hand onto Morty's shoulder.

"Come on, let's go open your eyes to new things."

Morty: "..."

The two snuck out to the parking lot outside the police station. As soon as Morty got into the car, he was tackled, two hands groping him from the bottom up.

Half a minute later...

Five minutes later...

Half an hour later...

An hour later...

If there were a review site for this sort of thing, she would definitely give Morty a five-star rating along with a generous tip.

The blonde girl was happy, and naturally, Morty was happy too.

Because inside a car parked in a public place, he had successfully completed a high-quality social interaction with a single woman without spiking his emotional threshold.

This fully proved that his previous loss of control was most likely caused by the psychostimulant.

It showed that in a natural state, he could still keep his emotions in check.

Better yet, through this high-quality social interaction, he had secured paid food and shelter for the next few days.

Pure profit!

But when evening rolled around and he followed the blonde girl back into her apartment...

Morty pushed open the door and saw five girls already sitting in the living room, and his smile completely vanished.

"This..."

The blonde girl grinned wide. "Go get 'em, stallion!"

The corner of Morty's mouth twitched as he reached down and yanked off his short skirt.

The other women sitting on the sofa and chairs knew full well what was coming next, yet they had still been pretending to act demure while sipping their drinks. Seeing Morty issue a martial arts challenge to them, they swallowed hard, set their glasses down, and walked toward Morty with grins, surrounding him.

"I'll be gentle..."

"Would you mind trying something a bit more thrilling?"

"Do you like big trucks?"

Morty: "Cut the damn chatter!"

The scene instantly descended into chaos.

...

Chapter 076: Showdown

The next day.

Morty sat on the couch in nothing but his boxers, watching TV with the serene detachment of an enlightened monk who had renounced all worldly desires.

The blonde, Fanny, sat beside him with her legs spread wide, knocking back a beer while her free hand refused to stay put, like some little punk feeling up a girl.

Morty was starting to understand a certain kind of helplessness women had to deal with.

Sure, the person whose hands wouldn't behave was having a great time.

Being the one those hands wouldn't leave alone was a whole different story.

Morty seriously wanted to tell Fanny...

“Jesus, woman, give it a rest! I’m not the bad guy here—I’m Jackie freaking Chan!”

"Can't we just watch some TV and talk?

“I’m not C-137 Morty—I’m not some goddamn sex machine! Keep this up and you’re gonna kill me young!”

After just one day, Morty's cheeks already looked a little hollow. He pulled a cigarette from the table, quietly lit it, and took a drag.

He’d never been a smoker. Whenever he saw Rick light one up, he’d half-joke that Rick must be a card-carrying member of the “How to Die Faster” club.

Now he understood.

People didn't smoke just because they wanted to smoke. They smoked because sometimes they needed something to take the edge off all the crap bottled up inside.

After an entire day of feeling like he'd scored big while somehow also feeling like he'd gotten the short end of the stick, Morty had no choice but to lean on cigarettes to deal with the mess in his head.

[Sigh. Wonder how they're doing.]

[Man, I really am...]

[It's only the fourth day of my break, and I'm already getting restless as hell.]

Trying to take his mind off things, Morty even started missing his "family."

Normally, especially whenever he saw Jerry, he'd want nothing more than to stuff that loser into a cannon and fire him off like a shell.

But now he was far from home, and none of the people who had come here with him were around.

Strangely enough, he actually missed them.

Lost in thought, Morty flipped to another channel.

The next second, he nearly hurled the remote straight at the TV.

Rick's face was on the screen.

And whatever tiny bit of fondness Morty had just been feeling was instantly chopped in half by what Rick said next.

"Hello, everyone. I'm Rick Sanchez. You've never heard of me, and you don't know a damn thing about me, but I'm standing here in front of all of you to say one thing..."

"Starting today, put on your long pants! Become a real man!"

"We men need to stand up, make our voices heard, and tell this world that we get to decide how we live our own lives!"

"Everyone, this message is going out to the whole world! If you're willing to stand against this so-called women's world, then do whatever it takes to get to Lip City!"

"I'll be waiting for you!"

As Rick's face disappeared from the screen, Morty could hear Fanny's breathing grow heavier beside him.

He didn't need to guess what that meant.

She was pissed.

Rick's speech had directly challenged the foundation this entire world was built on.

That was basically a declaration of war.

"Fanny, don't..."

"Don't what?! Your grandpa has gone way too far! What the hell is he trying to do? Let men become cops? Let men run society? Give me a break! Besides cooking and doing laundry, the only thing they're good for is being pussies!"

Fuming, Fanny got to her feet and started getting dressed. She planned to head straight to the police station, talk things over with her coworkers, and organize a raid on Rick.

They had to arrest that troublemaking old bastard before this turned into a complete disaster.

Morty had originally meant to talk Fanny out of getting involved, but when he saw that she was almost ready to leave, he thought about it and swallowed the words sitting on the tip of his tongue.

After all... he couldn't exactly treat every girl he'd slept with like some wife he was responsible for.

Morty wasn't that naive anymore, and he didn't think that made him heartless.

For all he knew, she was only looking to have some fun. If he was the one who started taking it seriously, then wasn't that the oldest rule in the book? Whoever catches feelings first loses.

A grown man had to know how to keep things casual.

Like sleeping with a woman in her own bed, then going off to sleep with the friend she'd been with the last time.

From Rick's televised speech, Morty figured Fanny might not be coming back for the next few days.

Which meant it was time for him to bail.

He'd find somewhere else to go and keep sacrificing a little of his handsome self.

And while he was at it, he could check on what his own dad was doing.

Rick had already gone on television. Jerry couldn't seriously still have failed to win over even one supporter, right?

So after Fanny left, Morty used the landline to call one of her friends.

Once he made it clear he was looking to have some fun tonight, he got her address without much trouble and headed out. He wanted to see for himself what was happening around this little city.

Fanny lived in a one-story bungalow in a neighborhood near the outskirts, so Morty had to take the bus downtown.

By the time he finally got there at his usual leisurely pace, the peace and quiet of Lip City had already been completely shattered by Rick's televised speech.

Every cop in the entire Lip City Police Department had been called back from leave. Unless someone was literally lying in a hospital with an oxygen tube stuck in them, they were basically out on the streets enforcing martial law.

After stepping off the bus, Morty spotted Fanny in the distance.

He didn't say hi.

Mostly because he'd secretly swiped more than fifty bucks from her house.

With some cash in his pocket, he found a nearby Moonbucks, ordered a coffee, and took a seat beside the floor-to-ceiling windows, settling in to watch the show.

As noon drew closer, more and more people filled the streets.

Especially men.

They were gathering in increasingly large numbers.

That many men congregating in one place was making the Lip City cops nervous.

Every one of them was wearing long pants instead of short skirts. Normally, a crowd like this would've been prime scenery for the cops to whistle at all day.

Now, though, it didn't look nearly as appealing.

A gathering this large meant something else entirely.

A violent, bloody confrontation was brewing.

[Where's Rick? He's supposed to be the star of this whole thing. Why hasn't he shown up yet?]

Morty had been sitting in the coffee shop for almost three hours, and Rick still hadn't appeared.

That made him start wondering whether the whole thing was actually some kind of setup for Jerry.

[Is he trying to use a bloody clash to make the cops look bad?]

[Wait. If Rick really isn't planning to use violence this time, is he going for a nonviolent protest instead?]

[But if these men actually show some organization here, wouldn't Rick just be creating a bigger problem for himself?]

[Everybody knows a bunch of thugs who do nothing but smash shit, loot stores, and set things on fire aren't really that scary.]

[The ones you actually have to worry about are organized, have leaders, and are all pulling in the same direction.]

Just as Morty's thoughts were running wild, he spotted Jerry.

And the moment he saw him...