Play the Villain - Vol. 4 - 73/74 (Patreon)

Chapter 73: Artoria Is Getting on in Years

“We’ve eaten, we’ve fought, so it’s about time we left.”

Having finished dealing with the overly helpful Knights of the Round Table who had so kindly given him an excuse to escape dinner, Samael casually tossed aside yet another ruined knight’s greatsword. After briefly informing the King of Knights on the second floor, he took Morgan, who rose in perfect understanding, and headed straight for the exit without the slightest hesitation.

The three little ones at the table immediately brightened when they realized they were leaving.

After staring miserably at the food before them for so long, their scrunched-up faces suddenly blossomed with joy. They threw down their knives and forks and shot after the adults at astonishing speed, responding to the retreat with remarkable enthusiasm.

The table full of palace delicacies remained almost completely untouched.

Only after Morgan’s group had disappeared into the distance did the assembled lords of Britannia finally recover from their shock.

Their eyes remained fixed on the figure who had shone so brilliantly beneath the night sky. Whatever contempt they had shown earlier was now completely replaced by awe.

That man’s strength had likely surpassed the limits of humanity by a considerable margin.

If someone like him appeared on a battlefield, he was no longer the kind of opponent that could simply be overwhelmed through sheer numbers.

He had nearly challenged the entire Knights of the Round Table by himself, yet afterward he remained calm and composed, clearly with strength still to spare.

In a sense, that one man was worth more than half the Round Table.

With such a formidable swordsman standing beside Morgan, a witch born with extraordinary talent, the strength of Orkney, the Land of Terminus, had risen dramatically. It was even beginning to show signs of being able to stand against the Holy City of Camelot on equal footing.

It seemed they would have to reconsider their relationship with that princess.

The lords each had their own thoughts, exchanging subtle glances whose meaning was difficult to put into words.

“Old man, we really did let a huge fish get away.”

At some point, Sir Kay had sidled up beside Ector. With his arms folded, he nudged his father from behind with one shoulder, his sharp eyes sweeping across the surrounding lords as he spoke with teasing amusement.

“Show some respect!”

The old knight immediately slapped his unruly son across the shoulder.

That large hand, hardened by years of farm work, made Kay grimace in pain.

Rubbing his shoulder, Kay looked toward the entrance, where the departing figures had already vanished into the darkness, and sighed.

“But there’s nothing we could have done. She was willing to stake everything on it, even herself.”

Sir Ector, who had likewise noticed the thoughts stirring among the surrounding lords, frowned slightly and nodded helplessly.

If he had known things would turn out this way, perhaps he should never have agreed to the princess’s request and sent that nameless swordsman who had appeared in Cornwall directly to Morgan.

Now certain restless lords had once again caught sight of possibilities they should not have been considering.

Still, one had to admit that the proud and aloof princess had truly been willing to go all in.

“Then again, if you’re fishing, shouldn’t you use proper bait? Not like this bunch of beasts, charging straight in and muddying the water. Even the biggest fish would be scared off, right?”

“...”

Ector paused.

Then he slowly turned and gave his rather shifty-looking son a long stare.

“You’ve been circling around the point this whole time. What exactly are you trying to say?”

Caught immediately, Kay gave an awkward smile.

His eyes drifted casually toward a certain direction as he tried to sound indifferent.

“Artoria isn’t exactly young anymore, is she?”

“Mm... Mm?”

Ector nodded almost reflexively.

Then the meaning sank in.

His tone changed instantly, and killing intent flooded his eyes.

But when he turned around, Kay had already sensed danger and slipped away, disappearing into some unknown corner of the hall.

The old knight was left simmering with fury.

You unfilial brat. Gossiping about your ruler behind her back?

If I catch you, I swear I’ll beat you half to death!

By this point, the disturbance inside the hall had mostly subsided.

Although everyone involved in the duels had shown considerable restraint, the banquet had still inevitably suffered.

Even with both sides controlling their Strength as much as possible, the shockwaves from the fighting had overturned quite a few tables and dishes.

And as time passed, much of the remaining food had gone cold.

The King of Knights looked down from her throne at the disorder on the first floor and frowned slightly.

Then she turned toward the silver-haired, one-armed aide standing straight beside her.

“Sir Bedivere, do we have a contingency plan?”

Bedivere placed a hand against his chest and nodded.

“My King, there is no need for concern. The kitchen prepared for unexpected situations in advance.”

“Mm. Good. Continue the banquet and bring out the food.”

The King of Knights nodded slightly.

Then one hand drifted toward her lower abdomen.

As though suddenly remembering something, she asked almost instinctively.

“By the way, who is responsible for tonight’s meal?”

“Sir Gawain.”

“...”

Bedivere answered immediately.

The hand with which the King of Knights had just picked up her knife and fork trembled slightly.

For once, she fell into complete silence.

A short while later, the cold dishes were removed.

Then the warm and dependable-looking Knight of the Sun called over a group of Enforcement Knights wearing rather ridiculous aprons and had them quickly bring out the emergency meal.

Large bowls of mashed potatoes.

If nothing else, they were certainly filling.

Under the light of the fluorite lamps, the faces of the assembled guests developed a faint green tint.

It was worth mentioning that throughout the Twelve Dynastic Wars, Gawain had also been responsible for the King of Knights’ daily meals.

His extensive cooking experience had allowed the Knight of the Sun to take “efficiency” to its absolute limit.

There was essentially only one dish he liked making.

Mashed potatoes.

Highly filling, easy to carry, and simple to prepare.

While Artoria fought campaign after campaign, she had eaten mashed potatoes prepared personally by Gawain for more than a decade.

And out of habit, no matter how much Gawain made, the King of Knights, who hated wasting food, would silently finish every last bite without changing expression.

Now the assembled lords were fortunate enough to receive the same treatment as their King.

Of course, a proper meal could not consist entirely of mashed potatoes and vegetables.

There had to be meat as well.

And so, when the lords dug into the little mountains of mashed potatoes on their plates, chunks of Magical Beast flesh emerged from underneath.

They had been scalded in hot water, yet streaks of blood and connective tissue were still clearly visible, producing all sorts of bizarre arrangements as they pushed through the potatoes.

The lords’ faces became even greener.

Upon the throne, the King of Knights speared a purple-red Magical Beast eyeball from the mashed potatoes.

She lifted the lower portion of her faceplate, placed it in her mouth, and began chewing with a faint crunch.

The eyeballs protruding one after another from the mashed potatoes created a considerable visual and culinary impact.

When they burst, the liquid inside produced the same soul-shaking sensation in the mouth as always.

Following their King’s example, one trembling hand after another picked up a fork and began attacking the food.

Bedivere speared a blood-streaked chunk of Magical Beast flesh and placed it into his mouth.

Then he looked toward the mountain of mashed potatoes before the throne, whose height was rapidly shrinking, and a trace of tenderness and satisfaction appeared in his eyes.

The eyeballs were one of the King’s favorite parts.

Fortunately, he had specifically asked Gawain to prepare this portion separately.

Elsewhere in the hall, Sir Ector’s teeth were beginning to ache, yet the blood-streaked chunk of Magical Beast meat in his mouth still refused to break down.

After a moment of silence, he set down his knife and fork.

Then he looked toward Artoria, who was rapidly demolishing the mountain of mashed potatoes in front of her, and at the aide and Knights of the Round Table beside her, all wearing expressions of inexplicable satisfaction.

Ector sank into thought.

The scene reminded him of the slop in the trough back on his farm.

And of the farmwife who rose early every morning to feed the pigs, hoping the piglets would eat more and grow fat.

Then, almost without warning, a thought entered the old knight’s mind.

Artoria really wasn’t getting any younger...

...

Chapter 74: Her Mouth Says No, but Her Body Is Honest

Meanwhile, in a secluded, abandoned courtyard near the royal palace kitchens, several figures had gathered around a blazing campfire.

The flickering flames illuminated five faces, two adults and three children. It was Samael’s group, who had left the banquet early.

They wanted nothing more to do with the palace banquet and Britannia’s dark cuisine, but the Ancient Serpent, who knew how to enjoy life, had absolutely no intention of mistreating his tongue or stomach.

Baobhan Sith and the other two enthusiastically supported the proposal with both hands and feet.

Morgan, meanwhile, saw how late it had gotten and figured that if they returned home now, there was no telling how long it would take before they finally ate. Relying on her vague memories of the palace, she led the group through a maze of turns until they found the secret hideout she had used as a child, where they set up a makeshift stove.

Samael simply helped himself to ingredients from the nearby palace kitchen and put together a fairly lavish dinner for everyone.

First came a pot of the braised pork the little ones had been craving.

“Here, take over for a moment. I’ll grill a few more skewers of meat and vegetables.”

As the braised pork neared completion, Samael handed the spatula to Morgan beside him, then placed the prepared and marinated skewers over the fire.

The three little ones had long since grown impatient. To distract themselves from the wait, they eagerly came over to help, hoping the meat on the skewers might somehow cook faster than the pork in the pot.

Barghest was so hungry that she could not even wait for both sides of her skewer to finish cooking before eagerly shoving her handiwork into her mouth.

The flavor was hardly perfect, but the seasoning and marinade Samael had chosen made it more than acceptable.

And however imperfect it was, at least this was food meant for people.

The dishes at the banquet had instantly reminded Barghest of swill from a pig trough.

After making that comparison, even these merely decent meat skewers suddenly seemed incredibly delicious, and Barghest’s happiness soared.

Before long, the Fairy Knight with the bottomless appetite ignored the scorching heat and polished off more than a dozen skewers in no time at all.

Then she sat obediently in place, staring expectantly at everyone as she waited to be fed again.

Not long afterward, tempted by the food Melusine was holding, Barghest simply lowered her head and let herself be petted, looking exactly like a docile, oversized dog sitting on a stone bench.

Baobhan Sith, meanwhile, had glued herself to Morgan’s side and proudly offered her mother the skewer she had carefully prepared, presenting it like a precious treasure for her to taste.

Estimating that enough time had passed, the Ancient Serpent took over again.

He lifted the lid, picked up the spatula, and stirred the thick, caramel-colored sauce. A rich fragrance immediately spread through the courtyard.

When a fork effortlessly pierced through the tender, glossy layers of fat and lean meat, the signal that the food was ready instantly awakened the appetites of all three little girls.

Baobhan Sith, Barghest, and Melusine stared longingly at the fragrant chunks of pork, their sauce reduced to a glossy red sheen.

Their throats worked involuntarily.

Bright droplets of drool gathered at the corners of their mouths.

Before they could start eating, however, a rustling sound came from outside the abandoned courtyard.

“What are you making? It smells amazing.”

Under the moonlight, a certain chief quartermaster who had slipped away from the banquet early sniffed the air, climbed over the wall, and approached with a smile.

He sat down as naturally as if he belonged there, copied the three little ones, picked up several skewers of meat, and began roasting them over the fire.

“Shouldn’t you be attending the King of Knights? What are you doing here?”

“Couldn’t exactly apologize properly in front of everyone. But someone ought to apologize in private on behalf of those beasts from the Round Table...”

Kay answered cheerfully.

He took a skewer that was only about seventy percent cooked and bit into it.

His eyes immediately lit up.

Without the slightest hesitation, he claimed several more for himself.

The little girls instantly erupted in outrage.

“Don’t be shy. Eat, eat, eat. They’re palace ingredients anyway, so we might as well share.”

Kay blinked and spoke as though he were the host, warm and hospitable to an almost shameless degree.

Samael had only obtained these ingredients by raiding the palace kitchen, and now one of the people responsible for them had caught him red-handed.

It was difficult to throw Kay out under those circumstances.

So Samael merely rolled his eyes and silently allowed him to join in disposing of the evidence.

Perhaps years of competing with Artoria for food had given Kay astonishing eating speed.

In the time it took him to say a few sentences, more than a dozen meat skewers had vanished, along with a considerable share of the braised pork.

Fortunately, Kay at least had enough self-awareness to know he was freeloading.

When he saw that the ingredients were running low, he simply led the little ones straight into the kitchen with complete confidence.

Each of them returned carrying two lamb legs to replenish their supplies.

With the logistics officer himself joining in the theft of palace provisions, the six accomplices stopped bothering with anything too refined and simply held a rough outdoor barbecue.

By the time the barbecue finally ended several hours later, they had nearly emptied a third of the kitchen’s stock.

The little ones, their stomachs round and full, were loaded into the carriage.

Kay also stuffed the carriage with dried fruit and rare ingredients reserved as special palace supplies.

Even the girls who had been furious at him earlier for stealing their food could not help developing a much better impression of him.

At the end, the chief quartermaster who had accompanied them the entire time personally escorted their carriage out of the palace.

He reminded them not to forget tomorrow’s coronation at noon and carefully explained every detail they needed to pay attention to, along with the preparations they should make beforehand.

Although they had known Kay for only a few days, Samael’s group had rapidly grown quite fond of him.

One had to admit that this Knight of the Round Table, whose job often involved cleaning up everyone else’s messes, was exceptionally good with people.

The easygoing sincerity ingrained in his personality made him difficult to dislike.

...

Watching the carriage disappear into the distance, Kay finally let out a relieved breath.

He stretched lazily, picked up a bulging paper bag, and quietly made his way to the King of Knights’ bedchamber, where a light was still burning.

Then he gently tapped on the window.

“Artoria... Artoria...”

After a brief silence, the door creaked open.

The King of Knights stood inside the doorway, still wearing her silver-white armor, and quietly regarded her foster brother.

“What is it?”

“Look what I brought you! Come on, it’s still warm. Eat it before it gets cold!”

Kay grinned and raised the paper bag.

The moment he opened it, a rich aroma poured out.

“If you require an urgent audience, you should report to the guards. Entering the inner palace without authorization violates the regulations.”

The King of Knights frowned slightly.

She did not accept the bag.

Her voice remained calm and flat, carrying little warmth.

Here, there were no siblings.

Only sovereign and subject.

Overstepping one’s place was a serious offense that disrupted order.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Those two stubborn idiots, Gawain and Agravain, are both at home recovering from their injuries tonight. Nobody’s going to know I slipped in.”

Kay paid no attention to her warning.

Taking advantage of the moment while he was talking, he simply shoved the bulging paper bag into Artoria’s arms.

“All right, it’s late, so I won’t bother you anymore. Take your time eating. Tomorrow’s going to be busy, so get some rest and make sure you’re in good shape.”

Before the King of Knights could react, Kay had already expertly climbed over the wall and vanished into the thick darkness.

The King of Knights stood there silently for a long time, still frowning.

In the end, she turned without saying a word, returned to her room, and casually placed the paper bag on the table.

But just as she finished removing her armor and prepared to go to bed, her nose twitched slightly.

Almost against her will, her gaze drifted toward the open paper bag.

...

The following morning, the entire palace became busy preparing for the coronation, ensuring that every stage of the ceremony would proceed without incident.

Those involved rehearsed their roles again and again.

The King of Knights, as the central figure of the event, had already left her bedchamber early.

Later that morning, Kay, who was responsible for logistics and had been ordered to retrieve several of the King’s personal belongings, entered the room and began searching.

Out of the corner of his eye, he happened to notice the now-collapsed paper bag sitting on the table.

A smile slowly spread through his eyes.

She actually ate it...