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TO Rewrite: Give Me Your Thoughts (Patreon)

Published:
2023-01-29 01:01:47
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

So, give me your thoughts on things and characters you loved.  What things do you most want to see moving forward?  Which plot points were you most invested in?  What things were you most looking forward to?  Lay it on me!

Comments

SME

BTW, Nia can be from China. I'm playing with the idea of not doing Legend Quests and mainly having that accomplished through the Crystals. Thoughts? Edit: Val convinced me that they do offer a lot to the series if done properly.

TheOne320

I like the “war” with the other worlds through the crystals the most in this story. What I dislike the most are the legend quests. I just do not think “quests” fit in the serious setting in this story.

SME

Hmm. Quests can be pretty serious, especially historically and mythologically. What specifically about them do you most find a problem with?

SME

How can you see Legend Quests being more serious in the setting from how I've done it thus far?

Malcolm wade

Been a big fan of your work and continue to be one. The only points I think your work suffers from are pacing, multi povs where they aren't rly need, and added trauma/drama to characters who I felt didn't need it. I enjoyed the ability system and how it affects the characters and the pirate legendary mission and would love to see more

AnimeJunkie

I couldn't help but notice the similarities between legend and mythkin in your story and the heroic spirits of Fate/Stay Night and have been wanting Rachel to have her own ultimate noble phantasm like ability that exemplified her myth. Granted I don't know much about Lunar Hares aside from a passing glance at the Touhou franchise and the Japanese myth of the craters on the moon resembling a rabbit pounding mochi. That is Rachel's myth right? Since those craters were caused by meteors I had the idea of Rachel's ultimate being her manifesting a hammer that hits with the force of a meteor. This attack could be enhanced with lunar or hell energy or whatever she's got to add some extra power if needed though I can't imagine when she would be able to use this attack since a meteor strike is literally an apocalyptic occurrence. Don't want Rachel to be destroying the Earth right? Then again, given the literally Godlike beings that have been introduced in the story and the beyond Godlike beings still waiting in the wings, not all of them friendly, maybe Rachel will be needing her world destroying hammer sooner rather than later.

Malcolm wade

No real investment but rewards from completeing them. Liked that caira stood out amongst her peers, would like see how the quests themselves either affects the world or brings the legend kin an evolution or brings them closer to their roots in selvaira case

SME

Hmm. I could do a BIG ability at a specific level (UE Rewrite shows the System changes I've done). Possibly gain tiers to it every 20 levels, gaining the 1st stage at 20?

SME

Hmm. Yes, I have been trying to tweak my pacing over the past few months. Do you read Pokesync? What do you think about how I've quickened some of that?

SME

I'm talking with Sky on Discord, and maybe it could be a Super Charge or something along those lines of being able to boost a single skill with a huge cooldown and possibly drawback (her earing enhances to a huge degree but she goes deaf for an hour or she uses Lunar Blast to deliver a building destroying punch but her arm becomes useless for an hour, etc.). Thoughts?

AnimeJunkie

Cooldown sounds reasonable but I think drawbacks should only apply if she abuses the skill by doing something like using it again without waiting for the cooldown or supercharging the attack to a ridiculous degree by using some kind of volatile power or just plain going way beyond her limits with it out of desperation. Not really a fan of characters who's moves hurt them by default. Save that for the Pichu players.

Justin Timothy

You have a strong foundation for the story maybe less fluff and more momentum going forward a little bit is fine but the beginning was slow and I’m not gonna lie it frustrated me just to wait for more substance or progress either or sometimes also Rachel at times felt outnumbered so you saying that you’re going to introduce certain characters earlier is very encouraging

SME

What parts do you consider substance? It's just hard to understand where different people draw their distinctions. Which parts felt like they had the most substance?

Justin Timothy

The part with the most substance was after Rachel and scarlet made it to the hospital going forward to the gang busting and rescue had the most as well as just how it flowed without interruption or fluff

SME

I can see that going well.

SME

Hmm. So, less working out how their powers work and just more fly by the seat of your pants?

SME

Or are you talking about the parts you thought were unnecessary, were the section with the clothes, figuring out more about her abilities, government psyche evaluation, and the initial government lockdown?

Justin Timothy

Little bit of a balance between the two just so we can enjoy more story and if you need to go into detail about abilities you can always do what you were doing or maybe even end each chapter with a kind of character sheet kind of detail I don’t know if you’ve dabbled in dnd but something like that

Eric

Well since Rachel is kinda the mc she could Need something for selvaria class Monster , I cant Imagine that she would deal well with them except they cant Hit her

SME

Have you read UE Rewrite yet? If so, something like that?

SME

Yeah, a big Ult Skill like we were talking about above could help with that for Mythikin and Legendkin; the supercharge could be something unique to the Greater Seeds.

Justin Timothy

I haven’t yet but give me some time to get a free moment and I’ll let you know also what chapter should I look at for the best version or is it in every one in the rewrite?

SME

Probably a good one would be the latest chapter.

TheOne320

I just dislike a “quest system” in general. I would not mind them finding the places by “chance” and doing stuff there, but I think loot drops and quests in this story are ridiculous.

SME

What do you think about it being less about that everyone gets a reward and it being more focused on tge Legendkin themselves having a place to accomplish something related to their legend which is a core part of legendkin in tge first place. For instance, Anthony being able to do a chain quest to not only get his weapons but also get an item that will cure his cancer ridden girlfriend of the illness at the cost of her forgetting about him and never loving him (a part of his legend)?

TheOne320

It could work if you figure out a way to bring that into the story and keep the general flow going. The very first legend quest was very jarring. There was no hint of it and suddenly they are in a pocket dimension where everything explodes into loot. It did not fit into what happened before and the danger their world was in.

SME

I can totally see that. I think this first chapter should explain some of that. Let me know what you think when I release it later tonight. =)

Justin Timothy

Looked at it and I think you might want to look up dnd 5th addition character sheet and substitute race for myth

SME

The problem with that is that not everyone is a Myth. Some are just Champions, some are Fae, and some are Legendary figures. It's a catch-all for all the Kins

SME

For instance, this is the problem with that: Mythickin Lunar Hare - Mythickin is the Kin, Lunar is the Type, and Hare is the Race.

SME

I'm confused about this? Zoe is a Beastkin Domestic House Cat - Beastkin is the Kin, Domestic is the Type, and House Cat is the Race.

SME

For Elinor, she is a Mythickin Lich Empress - Mythickin is the Kin - Lich is the Race - Empress is the Type

Justin Timothy

The term beast kin can be a catch all for the beast type race and you just need to categorize the type be it myth,champion, or sudo myth/champion myth meaning there is more than one and champion being a one off

SME

Champion is a catch-all for humans that don't fall into Beastkin, Mythickin, Legendkin, Abarrentkin, or Faekin. They don't show any characteristics. This would be like Nam, Rachel's brother.

Justin Timothy

It’s just a way to make it more streamlined as opposed to always having to explain the whole what of it not that you have too also it would still work because Rachel’s brother is a one off anyway and ifs that not the case down the road then you can change it

SME

In this chapter I'm making there is a Champion. They're in the Kin category but Championkin doesn't sound all that right. It's that way because you'd have a Champion Fire Mage - Champion is the Kin and Race since all Champions are human and then the Type

Justin Timothy

And just to clarify I’m not knocking any of it I just like bouncing ideas and helping out as for the champions/myths I’m thinking more along categories or factions kind of thing so I might not be on the same page with you but let me know anyway cause like I said I’m all about that idea and debating what can work but you’re the captain here so either way I’m gonna enjoy the ride so to speak

SME

It's much easier going through Discord to talk about this stuff. If you want, you can message me there so we can chat. I'm writing the 1st Chapter right now.

Justin Timothy

Would love to chat but at work right now but if you still want to chat let me know you’re available time and I don’t think I have your discord details yet but if you could tell me the details or link I would appreciate it