“Oh no, bro!" (Patreon)

Everyone is 18+ and fully consenting.

“Oh no, bro, my asshole is so open and vulnerable. I hope you don’t fuck me with your big, jock cock!” 

Brett was bent over in the hallway between our rooms, showing me his hairless, pink little hole. Mom and Dad were right downstairs, but he was blatantly standing in my way as I was walking to the bathroom, both of us having just woken up. I was in boxer briefs and had my morning wood to deal with. The last thing I wanted was another prank from this twit. He was kind of just a little shrimp, a couple years younger than me, less developed athletically, and he gave zero fucks about anything. It wasn't the first time he had blindsided me with a gay joke like this, but they had escalated lately. I was starting to wonder if he actually wanted me to fuck him.

“Fag,” I muttered as I walked toward him anyway, undeterred from my mission to piss before my bladder exploded.

He grabbed his perky boy cheeks, pulling them apart and pushing them together, amusing himself as he continued trying to get a rise out of me.

"Ok buddy," I said, giving him a smack on his left butt cheek and squeezing past him as he stayed bent over in the submissive position he was using to fuck with me today.

My morning wood smacked him right in the face. Oh well, I thought to myself, that's what he gets. Obviously, it didn't seem to bother him. He just pretended to like it.

He was always fucking around, but this escalation was recent. 

It all started one day when he caught me beating off in my room. He had burst in without knocking, and while I covered up quickly with something off the floor, it was obvious what I had been doing. My face was red, I was naked at my desk, covering my dick with a small blanket, and I knew I had an obvious look on my face that I had been caught doing something naughty. 

“What are you doing?” he asked in his most annoying pesky little brother voice, knowing exactly what I had been doing.

“Homework,” I said curtly.

“Yeah, right,” he said.

“Fuck off,” I said, waiting for him to leave.

“What were you jerking off to?” 

“Nothing,” I said, “Porn. Whatever.”

“I bet you’re a freak. I bet you’re watching Brazilian fart porn.”

“Jesus Christ what do you need?? Why are you in my room??”

“Show me what you were watching and I’ll leave,” he said, narrowing his eyes at me.

“I will kill you,” I said. I grabbed a pillow off the floor and chucked it at him.

He batted it away, lifted up his shirt and scratched his stomach. I could see his shorts riding low below his hips, and it made me cringe.

He just stared me down, calling my bluff, daring me to make good on my threats. He knew I wasn’t actually going to do anything brutal, no matter how much he pissed me off. I had never touched him, except for some light wrestling. But of course, a couple years older, I was way bigger than him. And I had played sports my whole life, so it would be over quickly anyway. I hated him and loved him at the same time, and no matter how much he drove me crazy, I wouldn’t actually make him regret it. 

“Fine,” I finally say, relenting. As much as I hated the idea of showing him porn, at least it would prove I wasn’t a freak or anything.

I opened up my laptop, and he started giggling before the screen even woke up. He stood right next to me. I could tell he was getting a bit chubbed up already.

“Duude, keep that thing away from me,” I said, throwing my hand up to block my vision.

“You’re afraid of real man meat,” he said jerkily. Instead of backing away, he inched closer. I felt the cringe literally tingle down my spine. I hated him so much, but I always gave in anyway. 

I sighed. “Here.”

I clicked to the window with my porn playing on it. It was a “steps---er” video, with all the annoying censorship that doesn't fool anyone. The title was something like, “Lucky bro finally nails her”. He started giggling, and he reached down and tapped the video to play. I shook my head and leaned back. The bad acting started immediately. “Oh no, my top fell off, don’t look!” and “What’re you doing, bro?”

We started laughing together. It honestly was pretty funny, and worth making fun of. The girl was clearly hot and that was why I clicked it. He started in immediately, mocking the throwaway lines. “Uh oh, bro, don’t accidentally fuck me!” and stuff like that.

“You wish, fag,” I shot back. We both just laughed and kept watching for a bit, ignoring that we both obviously had boners. My blanket was tented at this point, and there was nothing I could really do to hide it, but it mattered less with each passing minute. 

“You’re pretty big,” I said without really thinking about it. 

“So are you.” 

There was a beat of silence as we watched them start to actually do the deed on the screen, before he added, “Should we compare hard?” 

I chuckled and said “Yeah, right. You’re hard already.”

“So?” he said, wiggling his dick through his shorts. I widened my eyes a bit. It looked a bit too big to be Brett, my less athletic genetic copy, two years younger. I felt my face turn red, and turned back to the video.

“She is hot though, right?” I said, fast forwarding a bit to a better part.

“Fuck yeah,” he said, his adjusting of his shorts turning subtly into just touching himself.

We kept joking about the video for another minute or so, before he abruptly walked out, crossing the hall and entering his room, closing the door quickly. I chuckled, knowing he was going to beat off in his room. 

I was finally alone again, and I finally got to get back to what I was doing. I rubbed myself through the blanket, feeling the softness tickle my shaft. It was my favorite way to warm up. I felt a bit off though. I couldn’t stop thinking about how Brett had been standing there just a minute before. It was like he had tainted my session with his intrusion. Still, of course, nothing was going to stop me from what my body begged of me. I busted out a fat nut in less than a minute, even if it felt strange to know Brett and I were doing it at the same time. And to be honest, it was the weirdest orgasm of my life.

—[]—

After that incident, his sense of humor seemed to shift. The jokes escalated to nudity, flashing his dick at me, taking his balls out of the fly of his underwear while we were on the couch. He even started making me touch them on accident by moving a popcorn bowl from his lap at the last second and stuff like that.

And every time he got one over on me he would make an exaggerated porn joke along the lines of, “Oh no, big bro,” and a big exaggerated look of shock. “What’re you doing, big bro?”

He would always crack up, and I was just left stunned and shaking my head, heading to the bathroom to wash my hands.

A couple weeks in, he had made me accidentally touch his ass and dick and balls infinity times, even sometimes when he was somewhat hard. I’m also pretty sure he jerked off onto my stuff. Like, literally I’d find what I think was jizz stains on my clothes at the top of my hamper, even on my desk once. But I never called him out on it, since the reality of it was too freaky to face if he was willing to go this far for a joke.

When it came to his physical pranks, I could always tell when his jokes were about to go too far. He would start looking at me out of the corner of his eye, waiting for Mom and Dad to go to bed or whatever, then do some gay or nude joke that went way too far. 

He would even do it in front of friends.

One time, our parents were out, and his little partner in crime, his best friend from school Dom was right there next to us on the couch, when Brett pulled down his pants and jumped on me, bare-assed. His butt was all over me and he squirmed to stay on me as I tried to shove him off, while he and Dom just laughed their asses off.

When I finally got him off of me and threw him onto his buddy Dom, they were gripping their stomachs from laughing so hard, not even caring that Brett’s dick and balls were literally touching him.

I just threw a pillow at him as hard as I could, the harshest punishment I ever gave him, and turned up the volume on the TV. I just ignored them until he pulled up his pants, playing on his phone. I had to adjust myself, since my hormonal self still gets a boner for no reason at all, including when someone gets that close to my crotch, even if it’s him. I was embarrassed about that, but thankfully no one seemed to notice, and I was able to tuck it away until it disappeared on its own.

—[]—

Later that night, Dom was gone, and I was heading to the kitchen for a snack, when I caught him openly beating off in the living room. I froze at the hallway door, and he didn’t seem to see me since he was facing away. He was going to town on himself like he was home alone. 

It was weird because he kind of should've realized that I could walk in at any moment. It was brazen in a way.

But the real shock was the size of his meat log down there. That thing, fully hard, looked like an arm sticking out of his body. 

Fuck, I thought, and he’s younger than me. 

The idiot was fully balls out on the couch, watching something on his phone while he just openly wacked his meat tube. For some reason, I didn't bust him, but I couldn't look away. After all the dick and ass I had been forced to look at, it was interesting to finally see him in his element. Not joking around, just getting off. I felt like it had been a long time since I'd seen him just be himself. I narrowed my eyes as I watched him from the hallway. He was really focused, so I just stared silently. Normally, I would have noped the fuck out of there, but for some reason I just kept watching for a minute, all the way until he finished on his stomach. My jaw dropped. Not that it was anything unusual. I had seen dudes jizz before, obviously in porn, as well as some youthful shenanigans with my buddies, but I was just, like, shocked at myself, that I had stayed, and that I was seeing this.

When he started to get up, my daze was finally shook, and I booked it down the hall to my room, silently shutting the door. My heart was racing with desperation to not give away that I had seen him. I messed around on the computer for a bit, trying to distract myself while I listened to him walk down the hall, turn on the sink in the bathroom as he washed up. My nerves swam around my body, I was just so unsure of how I felt about what I had watched, or why I had stayed.

Once I was sure he had had enough time to clean up, I came out to the living room again, and he was gone. I heard the shower going, and I sat down and turned on the TV, opening my phone to chill. He came out a few minutes later, in his boxer briefs, damp from the shower. He bounced right over to me and sat on my lap.

I was just about to yell out, "More of this shit?" when he silently leaned back into me, gently touching his bare back to my chest, making me pause. He didn't make a joke, or any lewd, mocking gestures. He just rested his head on my shoulder. It was kind of quiet, peaceful and weirdly intimate. He didn't say a word, so I put my phone down and just kept watching TV. After a few minutes, it felt more normal and comfortable than anything else, and I even started to run my fingers through his hair. It felt identical to mine, and that was weirdly comforting.

After a bit, he moved down the couch and laid his head on my lap. I just kind of lightly rubbed his back, up and down. He shifted to show more of his back to me, and I rubbed it even more, sort of scratching it, sort of pushing into him like a reiki massage, the way I liked it on myself, while we just focused our eyes on the TV. The show had some hot girls in it, so I already had some amount of blood flow going on in my crotch. His face pushing into my dick didn't make it any better, but he didn't say anything. His breathing changed, and I noticed that he had fallen asleep.

He's actually pretty cool, I thought to myself, He doesn't even care that I have a boner. Maybe he's not so bad after all.