Complicated (Patreon)

It might be weird of me to say this, but I felt like Fuji from Ame to Kimi to (With you and the Rain), or the current heroine of the "I am Sugar Papa in Tokyo!" that was seduced by Nufuji, like me. I don't mean her gender, but her life. I am younger than Fuji, but I am about to become 30 years old next year.

When I was about to reach that age, I felt strangely anxious, especially with how flat my life was, as if nothing would change and I would die like this, but fortunately, I am trying to change, progressing.

Unlike before, when I just seduced so-so women to get a quick fuck, or went to the plus-plus massage to have my lust be comforted, I am afraid of a responsibility as I am not sure whether I can take care of my future family, which led me to hurt some women, who were about to entrust their hearts to me.

"................."

Damn, I am such a scumbag!

So, what should I do?

Change.

Fuji in the story also changes by getting a pet, which leads her to have a courage to change instead of being stagnant.

The easy life is comforting and easy, but the difficult life gives me a meaning in my life, from learning more, entering university again at my age, and getting close to women with qualities without being afraid of that responsibility.

Also for the writing, the more I question myself, the more I realize that I am not hating the writing itself, but I am hating myself for not trying to challenge myself even though I can try something new, more challenging, settling on something that is easy to write for quick bucks.

The result of this change might not be satisfactory, but it is better than being stagnant, not moving, and just living day by day from your subscriptions.

But, thank you for supporting me till now!

Don't worry. I will keep writing. I will always try to get better.

By the way, sorry for rambling since I have to say, it is easier to talk with a stranger, who doesn't know me in real life, than those I know. It might be weird of me, but I don't feel okay to expose my weakness to others, those closest to me, whether it is family, friends, or others.

Hopefully, I can change this part of me to since being weak is fine, too.

Thanks!

From your lovely author, Akikan40!