Minecraft script *rough draft* (Patreon)

Here’s a Minecraft cartoon script I finally finished!

This is stupid is as hell but I hope you enjoy fr!

I havent played minecraft since 2009

*Shows pandora, dre, jayden, dahmir, zero, rocky, and juicy wewe in a minecraft

world*

rocky: DUDE I FREAKIN HATE MINECRAFT WHY WE EVEN HERE?!

pandora: That cunt ass named gravity king stole my favorite dildo!

dre: honey! Dont fucking cuss infront of the god damn baby the fuck wrong with you?!

pandora: FUCK THIS LIL ASS NIGGA I WANT MY DILDO BACK!!

Juicy: How'd you know he was in minecraft?

pandora: Cuz he left this very specific note in my drawer where my dildo was at.

dre: Ight guys looks like we gotta gather up some gear to get your dildo back

from gravity king

rocky: Well i havent played minecraft since i was like 12, so whats new here?

Dahmir: Umm i think theres dophines now

rocky: OH WORD? BET LETS GO PET ONE!!

*Cuts to all the boys near a ocean*

*Dolpines making noises and rocky is trying to feed them seeds*

rocky: Cmere lil dolpines!! I wont hurt ya!

zero: Why you trying to feed the dolpines seeds?

rocky: I was gonna feed them flintstone vitamins but the game hasnt invented that yet. They

really dont want you to be heathly in this game.

*Dolpine tries to jump up and take a seed from rockys hand forcefully*

rocky: Aye Aye! KEEP FUCKING WITH ME ILL SEND YO ASS TO SEA WORLD!

dahmir: Wait i dont think we should be so close to the water. I heard theres sea monsters now.

*Before dahmir finishes his sentence a drown drags rocky down in the water and all the water

creatures started attacking him*

*rocky is screaming for help and everyone is staring*

rocky: DOLPHINE I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING!!! WHAT IS THIS GLWOING AS HUMAN MAN THINGY!?!

SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!!! GET THE NEOSPORIN!! SOMEONE GET ME OUTTA HERE!!

dahmir: I cant do anything i dunno how to swim!

dre: Hmm i wonder what pandoras doing.

*cuts to pandora robbing a village and holding everyone hostage*

pandora: WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHER FUCKERS KNOW WHERE MY DICK IS?!?

villager: Umm pardon?

pandora: HAVE YOU SEEN MY DICK!?!? ITS PINK AND HAS A TINY HEART ON THE TIP!!

villager: No madam! But if you want a replacement i got some emeralds!

pandora: WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA DO WITH A WORTHLESS EMERALD!!!??

villager: Ummmm.. You want some emeralds?

*Pandora gets mad*

pandora: WHERES MY DICK!!!!!!

villagers: EMERALDSSS

*cuts back to the boys building a campsite and dre comes back with a dog*

Dahmir: Ayo guys! look what i found in the woods!? Its a po from kung fu panda!

Imma call him porkchop!

panda: bark bark nigga

rocky: Umm your a panda not a dog.

panda: Oh you right, panda panda nigga

rocky: Ehh close enough

juicy: Well now we gotta a pet he can help us in battle!

*panda starts attacking juicy*

juicy: GET HIM OFF ME GET YO MANZ GET YO MANZ!!!!

dahmir: SOMEONE GET EM!! SOMEONE GET HIM!!!! HELP SOMEONE HELP PLEASE!!!!!!

zero: NIGGA ITS YO PANDA!!!

*rocky grabs the panda and slams him then jumps on the panda and beats him senselessly*

*Dahmir starts to cry and starts screaming*

dahmir: PO DODGE PO DOGE! PLEASE!!! PO IM SORRY I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

*Day 2 in minecraft*

*Cuts to next scene shows dahmir and zero mining*

Zero: ayo dahmir you know you can find diamonds by mining straight down?

dahmir: Oh word??? bet!

*dahmir starts digging down*

dahmir: ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

*dahmir falls into lava*

dahmir: ZEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

*dahmir dies trying to swim in lava*

rocky: Bruh what the fuck how the hell you try swiming in lava??

zero: I dont know ask him

rocky: NIGGA HOW HES DEAD!!

*Day 3 in minecraft*

*Cuts to dre in the forest getting wood*

*juicy comes up eating a sweet berry while standing on a berry bush and getting poked from it*

Juicy: Ayo dre OUCH!! watcha doing? OUCH!!

dre: Juicy what are you eating?

juicy: OUCH! i dunno OUCH!!!! but these berrys are hella sweet and juicy!! OUCH!!!

HE KEEPS STINGING ME!?!

dre: NIGGA MOVE THOSE BUSHES POKE YOU TO DEATH!!

juicy: Sorry i cant hear ya, these berrys are OUCH!!! delcious!!

dre: NIGGA MOVE WIT YO UGLY ASS YOUR GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!

juicy: Ouch ouch FUCK OUCH OUCH FUCK!! NIGGA FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT FUUUU~

*Dre starts screaming*

dre: NIGGA MOVE!!! MOVVVVEEEE MOVEEEE!!!! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVEE!!!!!

*juicy dies*

Zero: BRUH YOU CAN DIE FROM BUSHES NOW?!?!

dre: WHAT ELSE IS NEW IN THIS GAME!?!

*dre gets shot with a bow*

dre: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

rocky: DAD ARE YOU OK!?!

*Shows a bunch of pillagers with cross bows*

zero: Yo is that logic?

rocky: NO ITS NOT FUCKING LOGIC!!

pillager: GET THE HELL OFF MY LAND YOU SON OF BITCH!!!

*cuts to the pillagers chasing rocky*

rocky: THEY CHASING ME!!! THEY CHASING ME!!! THEYVE BEEN CHASING ME FOR 4 HOURS!!!! STRAIGHT!!

*Day 443 in minecraft*

*cuts to next scene the final battle*

*Gravity king pops up with the enderdragon*

gravity: Hello happy gang.. What the hell wrong wit you guys?

juicy: Minecraft thats whats wrong!! This game had a major update..

*Shows rocky in the background running from the pillagers still*

rocky: THESE NIGGAS ARE STILL ON MY ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dahmir: CMON ROCKY REMEMBER THE SLAVERY SCATTER TECNIQUE!! CTRL ALT DELETE!!!

YOU GOTTA CRTL ALT DELETE!!!

dre: Ight gravity king give up my wifes dildo or imma double tap yo ass, no instagram!

gravity: Whatever Ender Dragon ATTACK!!!!

enderdragon: ROARRR NIGGA!!

Juicy: AYO GET DOWN!!

*Enderdragon swoops to the boys but misses yelling roarrrr nigga back and forth*

dre: HOW THE HELL WE GONNA DEFEAT THAT THING??

*enderdragon gets exploded by a rocket*

*Shows pandora in a helicopter shooting with her ak-47*

rocky: MOM?!?!

dahmir: HOW THE FUDGE YOU GOT A HELICOPTER AND GUNS?!!

pandora: I GOT MODS NIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAA!!!!!!!!!

*Pandora starts shooting at gravity king and the enderdragon*

pandora: GIMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEE MYYYYYYYYY DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

gravity: YOU DONT DESERVE IT YOU MEANIE!!!

*pandora shoots gravity king in the head and manages to kill the dragon it popped*

*Pandora gets out of the helicopter and stares at everyone*

juicy: You know you cheated right?

pandora: THAT NIGGA HAD A DRAGON AND YOU SAY IM CHEATING?!?!

Juicy: Well we cant just end a cartoon about minecraft without a creeper explosion.

*creepers pops up*

juicy: Ayo Dre go hug that creeper!

dre: A YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH

dre: OH SHIT!!!

*crepper explodes*

rocky: Now what? we end it there?

*pauses everyone staring at each other*

*a enderman sneaks up and eats everyone and everyone is screaming*

The End.